By Family Features | ContributorWhen someone you know loses a loved one, finding the right words can be difficult. A bit of compassion goes a long way and knowing the right thing to say matters.According to funeral professionals who guide families through loss daily, the approach matters.Here are five thoughtful things to say when someone dies, based on insights from spokespeople from the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), which represents funeral directors who support families every day during the grieving process:“I’m here for you.”Offering your presence, whether to listen, help with daily tasks or just sit quietly, lets the grieving person know they are not alone.Funeral director Allyse Worland says, “Do more listening and less talking. I am still here for you, even after the service.”“Tell me about your loved one.”Inviting stories and memories honors the deceased and helps keep their spirit alive.“Tell me about your loved one,” funeral director Stephen Kemp said. “What made them special? Positive stories are always helpful.”“What can I do to support you right now?”Rather than a vague “let me know if you need anything,” this question encourages specific offers of help, which can be easier for someone in grief to accept.“Offer actual support instead of just saying ‘sorry’ or ‘thoughts and prayers,’” Worland said.“It’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling.”Grief is a uniquely personal experience that can evoke a range of emotions. Validating those feelings removes pressure to “be strong” or “move on” too quickly.“Sometimes you don’t have to say anything,” funeral director Camelia Clarke said. “A hug or touch says it all.“I don’t have the words, but I am here for you.”Sometimes, words fall short. Acknowledging this honestly while offering your presence can be deeply comforting.“Your presence and ear are what they need,” Kemp said.Funeral directors caution against common but unhelpful phrases such as “They’re in a better place” or “At least they lived a long life,” which may unintentionally minimize the bereaved’s pain.“Less is more,” funeral director Daniel Ford said. “Sometimes, a ‘hi’ and a hug or handshake is enough.Families and friends leaning on the expertise of funeral professionals who guide families through planning meaningful services and providing ongoing grief support is encouraged by the NFDA.Offering free resources, Remembering A Life helps families honor their loved ones and navigate grief. These include planning guides, grief support tools, creative activities and checklists.For example, the planning guide helps families organize a meaningful tribute, whether traditional or smaller memorial gatherings. The initiative also offers free printable resources such as “30 Simple Ways to Remember a Loved One” and therapeutic coloring sheets designed to support the grief journey.“Sometimes, just being present and listening is the most powerful support you can offer,” Worland said.Visit RememberingALife.com to learn more about how to support a grieving person and access additional resources. More

“Excitement is a great and necessary thing; without it life wouldn’t be complete. But happiness – real happiness – is something entirely different, at once calmer and more rewarding.” So says Harvard-trained Ph.D. and life coach, Martha Beck.  “True joy,” she states, “lacks the wild ups and downs of an excitement-based life. It’s a peaceful […] More

By Colin Smith | Contributor Americans love the story of the person who pulls him- or herself up by the bootstraps.  The story is a staple of our society, since the vast majority of us are either immigrants or descended from them.  The small business is consistently relevant, thanks to immigration and historical catalysts.  Now, […] More

Donald Hooton, Jr.

The course of your life can change directions in an instant. In July 2003 and in his senior year of college, Donald Hooton, Jr. was preparing to start a career with his business degree. That’s when he got the call from his sister that their 17-year-old brother Taylor had passed away. What shocked their family the most was that Taylor had committed suicide. All of the family had just one question. Why?

It was the detectives who found the steroids in his room. At that time, the Hooton family didn’t see the connection, but they’ve learned. They’ve learned about steroid use and its psychological effects, and the link to suicide. And they learned the use of steroids is likely far more pervasive than you ever imagined.

In the midst of their grief, his family could never have predicted how, through their tragedy, they could impact the lives of so many others for the better. Now Donald works every day to honor his brother’s legacy at the helm of the Taylor Hooton Foundation, the nonprofit started by his dad, Don.

In this important podcast, you’ll hear directly from Donald, Jr., and learn about how he is helping turn his family’s tragedy into triumph for families across the U.S. and abroad.

Donald thinks about his brother every day. “I hope he’s proud of the work we’re doing and what his legacy has become and how many lives have been saved,” he says. “I hope every time his story is shared it’s making a difference.”

The Taylor Hooton Foundation is the leader in education on appearance and performance enhancing drugs. To learn more or to schedule an ALL ME® Assembly Program at your child’s school, visit www.taylorhooton.org or www.allmeleague.com. More

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