Advice & Features

By Family Features | ContributorWhen someone you know loses a loved one, finding the right words can be difficult. A bit of compassion goes a long way and knowing the right thing to say matters.According to funeral professionals who guide families through loss daily, the approach matters.Here are five thoughtful things to say when someone dies, based on insights from spokespeople from the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), which represents funeral directors who support families every day during the grieving process:“I’m here for you.”Offering your presence, whether to listen, help with daily tasks or just sit quietly, lets the grieving person know they are not alone.Funeral director Allyse Worland says, “Do more listening and less talking. I am still here for you, even after the service.”“Tell me about your loved one.”Inviting stories and memories honors the deceased and helps keep their spirit alive.“Tell me about your loved one,” funeral director Stephen Kemp said. “What made them special? Positive stories are always helpful.”“What can I do to support you right now?”Rather than a vague “let me know if you need anything,” this question encourages specific offers of help, which can be easier for someone in grief to accept.“Offer actual support instead of just saying ‘sorry’ or ‘thoughts and prayers,’” Worland said.“It’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling.”Grief is a uniquely personal experience that can evoke a range of emotions. Validating those feelings removes pressure to “be strong” or “move on” too quickly.“Sometimes you don’t have to say anything,” funeral director Camelia Clarke said. “A hug or touch says it all.“I don’t have the words, but I am here for you.”Sometimes, words fall short. Acknowledging this honestly while offering your presence can be deeply comforting.“Your presence and ear are what they need,” Kemp said.Funeral directors caution against common but unhelpful phrases such as “They’re in a better place” or “At least they lived a long life,” which may unintentionally minimize the bereaved’s pain.“Less is more,” funeral director Daniel Ford said. “Sometimes, a ‘hi’ and a hug or handshake is enough.Families and friends leaning on the expertise of funeral professionals who guide families through planning meaningful services and providing ongoing grief support is encouraged by the NFDA.Offering free resources, Remembering A Life helps families honor their loved ones and navigate grief. These include planning guides, grief support tools, creative activities and checklists.For example, the planning guide helps families organize a meaningful tribute, whether traditional or smaller memorial gatherings. The initiative also offers free printable resources such as “30 Simple Ways to Remember a Loved One” and therapeutic coloring sheets designed to support the grief journey.“Sometimes, just being present and listening is the most powerful support you can offer,” Worland said.Visit RememberingALife.com to learn more about how to support a grieving person and access additional resources. More

Sheryl Lilly Pidgeon | Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, Goodlifefamilymag.comWho doesn’t love a celebration? But make no mistake – a celebration is most rewarding after plenty of hard work and determination; and the tougher the task at hand, the sweeter the success.  Now, as we toast to our 10th anniversary, the GLF team and I look back with a lot to celebrate.  We have gone out on a limb in every aspect of our lives but, like Mark Twain famously said, “Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”  I can say with conviction that I have never worked (professionally speaking) as hard on anything as I have on Good Life Family and GoodLifeFamilyMag.com. I have invested my heart, mind and resources into making GLF a PUBLICATION WITH A PURPOSE. We have grown, we have gained momentum, and we are making a difference.  In the new year, you will see some big changes coming to Good Life Family. We are fine-tuning a new logo and re-branding to include a broader take on the word family because we know that the role of parenting often includes aunts, uncles, friends, etc. When we launched Good Life Family back in 2015, most of our core team was navigating life with middle schoolers. Now, those tweens and teens are in their 20’s – some are married and planning families of their own. So, we are growing up too. We will expand our voice to include younger parents, babies and toddlers, and grandparenting advice, while still providing entertainment and travel resources for all ages, more of our money-saving hacks, work-life balance strategies, and so much more. In addition, we are looking to incorporate your voice more. We want our readers to weigh in with their thoughts and tips for other families going through this journey together. We are working on a virtual Town Hall-style gathering of the minds. We also plan to help younger voices get heard. If your kids are budding writers, illustrators or photographers, please let them know we welcome their talent. We also plan to launch a global book club and add a Points of View forum on new movie releases. To join us on our mission to educate, inspire and motivate positive change, reach out to Paige Jackson, our Marketing and Content Manager, at [email protected]. As a publisher and founder of Good Life Family, I want to take a moment to toast my amazing team of professionals – editors, proofreaders, managers, writers and designers, four of whom were there from the beginning. Thank you for sharing my passion to make a difference in the lives of others by giving of your time and talent.  I also want to thank our clients, our promotional partners and advertisers. Without you, we would not be able to do the important work we cherish. As a mom, there is no greater celebration than the health and happiness of my adult children, Bryce, 26, who married his longtime love (they started dating as freshmen in high school!) Daria, who we whole-heartedly welcomed into the flock, Jaxie, 25 and Lindsey, 23. Each of them have “flown the nest” and are thriving in their own journeys. Although I traded valuable time with them to embark on the GLF journey (balancing family and work is a non-stop challenge for most of us, and a consistent topic in our pages), the upside of that trade is that my kids are witnessing first-hand the passion that goes into creating something worthy of celebration. In fact, they always found ways to pitch in to help or cheer me on. I am grateful for their support and sacrifice and for giving me the best job title in the universe: mom.As a daughter, I am reminded that being part of the “Sandwich Generation” – those of us sandwiched between raising our kids and supporting our own aging parents – is both challenging and rewarding work and that each day needs to be celebrated.Finally, no celebration is complete without amazing friends. We celebrate the peaks (boy, do we!), but more importantly, we are alongside each other in the valleys.  Deep friendships are built brick by brick and fortified by the test of time. As I’ve continued to grow as a person (much of that growth attributed to the wisdom of our experts for over a decade in Good Life Family!) and define my life in the “empty nest,” I have found countless opportunities to welcome new friends into my orbit. I have found that meeting a friend at this point in my life often feels like an instant connection, one that is easy, honest, transparent, soulful, like you’ve known this person forever – or wish you had – and I am going to cherish these relationships as they continue to grow and develop in the years to come. Similarly, now that I have more work-life balance, I have found the time to reach out to and welcome back old friends, some from my early childhood, who had remained in my heart, but life took us apart geographically. Spending time with these amazing friends is a true celebration of the term life-long.I’ll toast to all that!Wishing you and yours a new year filled to the brim with health, happiness, love, peace, and plenty of “Cheers!”-Sheryl More

By Tanni Haas, Ph.D.January is Financial Wellness Month, a great occasion to consider how you can make the most of your hard-earned money. One option is to get advice from some of the many excellent finance and money podcasts available. The thing about podcasts is that you can listen to them whenever you have a spare moment, even when you’re doing other things. Here’s a list of some of the best podcasts aimed at helping parents manage their money. “Frugal Friends”(Available at: Apple, Audible, Spotify)There are many sound approaches to money-management including minimizing your spending, sticking to a set budget, or investing in assets such as stocks, bonds, and real estate. As the name implies, Frugal Friends advocates one specific approach: spend as little as possible. Hosted by two long-time friends, Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni, this podcast helps parents find creative ways to save on their expenses. Recent episodes focus on topics such as how a good credit score can save you money, and ways to spend less on groceries and your phone plan.   “Inspired Budget”(Available at: Apple, Audible, Spotify)Inspired Budget takes a different approach to money-management, namely how to save money by carefully budgeting your income with your expenses. The brainchild of Allison Baggerly, a former teacher who struggled to make ends meet on her and her husband’s teacher salaries, this podcasts explores questions like how to use cash envelopes to better stay within your budget, and how to guard against impulsive purchases. Allison offers online courses on budgeting and is the author of “Money Made Easy: How to Budget, Pay Off Debt, and Save Money.”“Marriage, Kids and Money”(Available at: Apple, Audible, Spotify)Andy Hill, the creator of Marriage, Kids, and Money and the father of two kids, promotes yet another, more expansive approach to money-management. Through interviews with financially successful parents and well-known personal finance experts, he explores how couples can work together towards financial independence. Recent episodes focus on whether it’s better to pay off one’s mortgage or to invest in bonds and stocks, and the importance of paying of student loans in a timely manner. This popular podcast has been nominated as “Best Podcast of the Year.” “Moms Who Money”(Available at: Apple, Audible, Spotify)Unlike the other podcasts, Moms Who Money is specifically geared towards mothers. Hosted by Eileen Joy, a single mom of an 11-year-old son who managed to go from almost broke to debt-free by educating herself about finance and money, this podcast aims to help women develop the confidence to take charge of their financial well-being. Instead of discussing specific money-management strategies and techniques, Eileen explores issues like how to reduce emotional financial stress and how to achieve financial compatibility with your partner.   “The His and Her Money Show”(Available at: Apple, Audible, Spotify)Like Moms Who Money, The His and Her Money Show also focuses on showing couples how to successfully balance money and marriage. It’s hosted by a married couple by the name of Talaat and Tai McNeely, the authors of the aptly titled “Money Talks: The Ultimate Couple’s Guide to Communicating About Money.” On their podcast, Talaat and Tai also explore business and finance topics like entrepreneurship. Many of the episodes feature discussions of what couples need to do to build, grow, and scale up any business venture.  About the AuthorTanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.    More

By Family Features | ContributorFor teenagers, retirement may seem like a lifetime away, but it’s never too early to start saving for the future. Because financial habits can be created at a young age, the sooner kids begin to save and learn about investing, the less likely they’ll face worries about money when they eventually stop working.Teens are already thinking about retirement, according to the Achievement Teens & Retirement Survey conducted by Wakefield Research on behalf of Junior Achievement and MissionSquare Retirement’s Foundation. Among young adults ages 13-18 surveyed, 83% have thought about their retirement and 78% believe they’ll be able to retire comfortably when the time comes. However, only 60% view retirement as living on investments and savings after leaving work, believing instead retirement could mean taking extended time off for travel, study, illness or taking care of family matters.“This research shows retirement is more top-of-mind for teens than one might think,” said Tim Greinert, president of Junior Achievement USA. “While young people have given retirement planning some thought, it’s apparent they still need information on the best way to go about it.”Because nearly half of U.S. households (46%) report having nothing saved for retirement, according to the Survey of Consumer Finances, taking steps early to save and invest can help teens get a head start on achieving a successful retirement.Start now. The sooner you start, the longer you have to save and for investments to grow. Even though contributions may be small during your teens and 20s, it can make a dramatic difference in the long run.Pay yourself first. Whether through a dedicated savings account or an employer’s retirement plan, set aside a set percentage of each paycheck. Then prioritize spending on what you truly need and want.Invest what you save. Unless you save a lot, you’ll need to make the most of your savings by investing them to help them increase in value. According to the survey, teens believed investing in stocks and bonds with the help of a financial advisor (45%) or researched online (38%), buying real estate or property (30%) and buying cryptocurrency or non-fungible tokens (15%) are among the best ways to save for retirement.Find the right balance between investment risk and potential return. The ideal mix is one most likely to help meet investment goals with a level of risk you can handle. The longer you have to invest, the more risk you can likely take.Spread savings across different types of investments. This helps you manage risk. As some investments go through rough stretches, others are likely to hold steady or grow.Stick with your investing plan. Avoid making decisions based on emotions or in an attempt to time the ups and downs of the market. Focus instead on meeting goals over time.“The fact that so many young adults in the early stages of their careers are aware of a variety of investment strategies is encouraging news,” said Deanna Santana, president, MissionSquare Foundation. “Over the course of our lifetimes, investment approaches, the economy and our priorities will change, so planning for life after work is an ongoing necessity – for teens and adults alike.”Find more advice to plan for the future and achieve economic success at ja.org and missionsq.org.Photo courtesy of Shutterstock More

By Tanni Haas, Ph.D. | Contributor

Experts agree that an allowance can teach kids important money management skills, like how to save for things they want, how to budget their money, and how to choose between competing spending goals. Personal finance expert Brad Munson says an allowance “is a great way to teach kids about the real value of money, how to be organized and responsible, and how to plan for the future.” Financial counselor Ray Martin, who’s the author of several books on money management, adds that an allowance is a great opportunity for kids to experiment with money and to learn from their mistakes. “It’s a way for them to learn big lessons with small amounts of money at an early age.”

It’s important that you talk to your kids about the value of money, and it’s best to do so in the context of an actual allowance. Certified financial planner Marty Allenbaugh says that talking to your kids about money without giving them an allowance is like trying to teach them how to play the piano without ever letting them sit at the keys.

Research shows that giving kids a regular allowance while discussing with them the importance of money makes them more financially responsible as adults. They become, as personal finance expert Evonne Lack succinctly puts it, “less likely to arrive on your doorstep years from now with a duffel bag full of dirty laundry and a mountain of credit card debt.”

If an allowance is such a great tool for teaching kids money management, at what age should you start giving them one?

Many parents start at age 8, but experts agree, as Mr. Martin puts it, that it’s the kid’s “aptitude not the age that really matters.” So how do you know if your kids are ready to receive and learn from an allowance? Research shows that they are ready to benefit from an allowance once they have reached certain developmental milestones, like 1) understanding that money can be exchanged for things they want, and 2) they can confidently add and subtract.

And, here, kids differ widely. While some kids reach these milestones at age 4 or 5, others get there by age 8 or 9. “So if your child tends to shrug at money, losing it before it can find its way to his dusty piggy bank, hold off until you see signs that he enjoys saving it or thinking about how he might use it,” says Mrs. Lack.

Finally, but not least importantly, what amount should you give your kids?

Experts agree that, as a rule of thumb, you should give them $1 per year of age on a weekly basis: for example, a six-year-old would receive $6 a week and a ten-year-old $10 a week. The advantage of this approach is that kids get an automatic raise every birthday, eliminating the question of when their allowances will be increased. If you are really lucky, it may even reduce sibling arguments, because the younger kid will understand why the older siblings get more.

Parents should feel free to deviate from this rule of thumb depending on whether they live in an expensive or inexpensive area, their particular financial situation, how many kids they have, and which regular expenses they or the kids are expected to pay for. As Susan Borowski, the author of “Money Crashers,” puts it, “If a straight $5 or $10 per week (or even per month) makes more sense to you than paying a dollar per year of age, then pay what works for you.”

If your kids are very mature, you can discuss this issue with them and reach a mutual agreement on a reasonable amount. It’s useful to go through such a process with your kids, says Mr. Martin, because it “helps to develop budgeting skills, teaches responsibility, and prepares them for the realities of personal money management.”

The allowance shouldn’t be too high. If you give kids too much, they won’t learn how to budget and allocate money because they never get a chance to prioritize among competing spending goals.

However, the allowance shouldn’t be too high. If you give kids too much, they won’t learn how to budget and allocate money because they never get a chance to prioritize among competing spending goals. Ron Liebler, the author of “The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money,” says to “give your kids just enough so that they can get some of what they want but not so much that they don’t have to make a lot of difficult trade-offs. Let them own those, so they know what it’s like to make financial decisions that resemble grown-up ones.”

Whatever amount you ultimately decide on, make sure to follow a consistent schedule and stick with it – whether weekly or monthly. As child psychologist Dr. Mary Kelly Blakeslee says, “random payments will be frustrating and confusing, and will reduce the opportunity for learning.”

Editor’s Note: Click Here for insights on how you can help your kids maximize their money management skills.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College. More