The thought of divorce, and all it entails, can be overwhelming, whether you made the decision to end your marriage, or it was made for you.
There are so many things to consider, aside from the straightforward legal process of getting divorce, including separating finances, and making child arrangements. On top of the practical elements, there is the deeply emotional side of divorce.
For ease, we refer to marriage, divorce, and ex-spouse, but the same applies to ending a civil partnership with dissolution.
We explore all this in depth in our How To Handbook: A Beginner’s Guide to Divorce.
How to get divorced?
The legal process of ending your marriage is the same for everyone, and unfortunately there is no quick way of doing it. You need to apply for divorce online (or send the form via post). You can do this as a sole applicant, or jointly. Once you have both acknowledged the application, you have a 20-week cooling-off period.
After this, you apply for your Conditional Order (previously the Decree Nisi), which means the court approves your divorce. Once this has been granted, you have another 6 week wait until you can apply for your Final Order (previously Decree Absolute). When the family court grants this, your divorce is finalised, and your marriage is legally dissolved.
Whilst this seems like a long time, it is a good opportunity to get all your arrangements sorted for life post-divorce. Most couples use this time to negotiate their finances and get a financial consent order drafted, to be approved by the court.
Arranging your finances in divorce
Money is often one of the most problematic aspects of divorce. However, whilst it can be an area of dispute, there are methods of negotiating a financial settlement amicably. For example, some couples use mediation, or another form of alternative dispute resolution.
Our Divorce Calculator can give you an initial idea of what you might receive in a financial settlement based on the information you input. However, it is important to discuss your arrangements with a family lawyer, and a financial adviser if necessary.
It is highly recommended that you get what is known as a financial consent order in place before you are granted a final order and your divorce is finalised. There are several risks to not doing this, including leaving yourself vulnerable to future financial claims from your ex.
A financial consent order explains how your money, property, pensions, and other joint and personal assets will be separated after divorce. A court needs to approve the consent order, and it is important that the document is drafted by an expert family lawyer.
Child arrangements
Making child arrangements can be emotionally and practically taxing. It is always preferable that separating parents negotiate a parenting plan between themselves, although you can always seek legal support for this.
If you are unable to make arrangements between yourselves, you may need a form of dispute resolution, or court intervention.
A child arrangements order is a court order which explains the agreements made by the parents on who is responsible for the child, where they will live, and time spent with each parent. It is a legally binding order.
Emotional wellbeing during divorce
Divorce is rarely a walk in the park. It is important that throughout the process, and beyond, that you seek emotional support if and when you need it.
This can be in a form to suit your needs, for example therapy or counselling, or asking for help from your GP.
Divorce coaching is a great, and tailored, support system for those in pre-divorce stages, throughout the divorce process and afterwards. A divorce coach works alongside your legal team to provide emotional and practical help.
You can find out more about divorce coaching, and our Stowe Family Law partner divorce coaches here.
Most people are ‘new’ to divorce. Our Beginner’s Guide to Divorce Handbook is an in depth resource to help you get started, give insight into the various obstacles you might come across and guidance on where to find help. We cover how to choose a lawyer, the legal process of divorce, negotiating finances, child arrangements, emotional support as well as debunking divorce myths.
Download the guide here.
Useful Links
Navigate the Complexities of Separation and Divorce with Family Mediation
What to do if you think your marriage is over
