Evelyn Reynolds

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    in Children

    How to support teenagers through a divorce

    Support teenagers through a divorce
    The loss of the known family unit causes emotional upheaval and distress for everyone involved, and there is a wealth of advice out there on how to manage your well-being and that of younger children. 
    But what about teenagers? (teens) There seems to be less information out there about the best way to tell them about a relationship breakdown and support them through it. 
    Teens are already navigating an emotional rollercoaster as they move into adulthood: social media, friendship groups, pressure from school, to name a few. Throwing the breakdown of their parents relationship into the mix can be overwhelming for them. 
    So, how can you support teenagers through a divorce? We asked Stowe guest regular Luisa Williams, CEO & Founder from My Family Psychologist to share her top ten tips on how to help support your teen as the family goes through a divorce.
    Spend time together 
    Try to set some protected time alone with you and your teen each week to do something together. It could be watching a film, going shopping, cooking a meal together or playing a game. Even if your teen does not accept the offer, they will appreciate that you have made an effort to spend time with them.  
    Lend a listening ear
    Getting teens to open up is often not an easy task, but listening openly to their concerns and feelings will reassure them that it is okay to talk to you without fear of judgment. 
    Ask open questions but try not to make it feel like they are being interrogated. Try not to interrupt or cut them off as this may make them shut down. 
    Using open communication may make your teen more willing to discuss their stress with you. Share your own experiences with them to make the pressures feel more relatable. Be sure to share positive thoughts. 
    Be a good role model
    Whether teens like to admit it or not, they are still looking up to you and learning from you. 
    How you manage your stress through the divorce sets the example for your teen, so you need to be modelling healthy behaviour and stress management techniques in front of them.  
    Help them to determine what’s within their control and what isn’t
    Teens today are often involved in multiple activities, especially if it is something they enjoy. Sometimes, even when extracurricular activities are proven to help their overall functioning, it can be overwhelming. 
    Discuss with your teen about how they can pace themselves by identifying which activities are more helpful to them and which ones could be dropped. 
    This can help take some pressure off and make room for necessary free time which can encourage more brain relieving stress management activities. 
    Get back to basics and develop an agreeable routine.
    There is a possibility that the stress of the relationship breakdown has been felt for a longer period than you are aware of, and as a result, they have developed some poor lifestyle habits. 
    Create a routine with your teen which is consistent: for example, establish a sleep routine (aiming to get7-8 hours a night); reduce time on their phones and social media exposure; eat regular healthy meals and snacks and exercise for 30 minutes daily. These simple changes can have an impact on your teens’ ability to manage stress more effectively.  
    Coach your teen to use positive and calming ‘self-talk’ 
    If your teen can recognise when they are feeling stressed about a situation, encourage them to have a collection of statements they can use to manage stressful situations.  
    The use of positive and calming self-talk statements can reassure them that the situation is manageable. Examples may be ‘stop and breathe’, ‘I can do this’, ‘this will pass’, ‘I am safe’ and ‘this won’t last forever’. 
    Teach work management skills
    Teach your teen some basic ways to manage tasks, such as making lists or breaking larger tasks into smaller ones and doing one piece at a time. 
    A technique suggested to help individuals with low attention span and ADHD symptoms is the ‘Pomodoro Technique’ which works as follows, 
    Work for 25 minutes (focused work) 
    Take a 5-minute break  
    Repeat 4 times (25 minutes of focused work then a 5-minute break)  
    Then take a longer break of 15 – 20 minutes.  
    DO NOT demand perfection
    None of us does everything perfectly. Expecting perfection from your teen is unrealistic and just adds stress. Encourage them to do things to the best of their ability and praise them when they achieve something or have done something they are proud of.  
    DO NOT try to solve your teenager’s problems.
    As a parent, it is hard to see your child under stress, and you will naturally want to try and solve their issues. Try to resist solving your teen’s problems and instead, work together to brainstorm solutions and let your teen come up with ideas. Using this approach helps teens learn to tackle stressful situations on their own and give them a sense of autonomy and ownership.  
    Use self – help support and guidance
    There are many online websites which offer guidance and exercises which may help your teen manage their stress. This is something you can do together, so that is not overwhelming or adding more pressure on to your teen.  
    It is important to be realistic that it is impossible to eliminate stress, but it can be managed effectively with the right techniques. 
    It will be a case of finding something which works for your teen, which may take time, but when you find something that works, encourage your teen positively and offer support.  
    Finding a happy medium of stress is the best way to move forward whilst promoting a healthy body and mind. 
    Get in touch
    If you help to support teenagers through a divorce and you feel that they may need more professional support, then contact My Family Psychologist. 
    We provide services to individuals, parents and families to address a range of psychological issues including stress management, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.  
    Family law advice 
    If you would like any family law advice or information on how to support teenagers through a divorce please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist family lawyers here More

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    in Parenting

    Photomath Is The Perfect Math Help App For Parents

    Even when you find math fun, it can be challenging! There are so many places to make small errors that can result in the wrong answer. If you are looking for support tools to cope with learning from home, you will love Photomath! This free math help app is a parent’s best friend. Stop pulling your hair out and use Photomath to solve and explain math problems.
    This post is brought to you by Photomath, a free math learning app that promotes comprehension of fundamental math concepts.

    What is Photomath?
    Since its launch in 2004, Photomath has topped App Store & Google Play Store education charts. In fact, this math solver app has over 190 million downloads globally. The Photomath app instantly scans and accurately solves math problems. It even shows math problem solving steps and explains those steps to ensure that you understand the math concepts.
    Photomath reads and solves mathematical problems instantly by using the camera of your mobile device. Photomath can check your work for printed and handwritten math problems. This award-winning math solver app makes math easy to understand and master.
    Super Cool Feature: You don’t need internet/data or wi-fi to use the free Photomath app once it is downloaded!

    This Math Help App Solves a Wide Range of Math Problems
    Can Photomath help with your child’s math work? Yes, this math education app is for K-12. Can Photomath help with college math? Yes, some college math.
    Photomath can explain anything from simple addition to more complex calculus problems. You can not only explore graph details such as the root and the domain but you can also use graphs to interpret solutions of equations and system of equations.
    Photomath is a great resource for that moment when your child comes to you for help but you don’t remember how to do that kind of math. Or you just want to make sure you have the answer right before you steer them in the wrong direction.

    Photomath for Parents
    Photomath is an amazing tool for parents. It lets them be the math expert their child needs to get help with homework and to learn how to solve problems step by step.
    My son is in Algebra and my daughter is in pre-calculus and sometimes they will come to me and say, “I don’t get it. How do you solve this?” With Photomath, it has been really nice for me to be able to make sure I have the correct answer, before I explain how to solve the problem.
    Fun Fact: Photomath was actually created by a father to help his children with their math homework!
    With more kids doing virtual school these days, and less chance for them to get to ask teachers questions, Photomath is sure to be a big help.

    This Math Solver App Is Easy To Use
    It is so easy to use Photomath. It is as easy as 1.2.3 Scan. Solve. Learn.
    How does Photomath work?
    First, download the free app.
    Scan
    Photomath uses advanced AI technology so all you have to do is open the Photomath app and point your phone’s camera at the math problem. Once the math problem is lined up within the red guide marks, you just push the red capture button.
    Solve
    After that instant scan, Photomath with show the math problem solution.
    If you are just checking your answer and you are right, you are all done.
    Learn
    If you are wanting to learn how to get the correct answer, you can push the red button that says “Show Solving Steps”. Still want to know more? You can push the red button that says, “Explain Steps”.
    Math can be a self-confidence crushing task when you don’t have the right support. Photomath is the #1 math help app to help learn math and to take the frustration and anxiety out of math. It works on both hand written and printed math problems.
    Whether you are a mathlete or math challenged, Photomath can help!

    That is my son’s math text book on the left with word problems and then on the right is the solution that pops up when I scanned the last word problem on the page. Yup, Photomath is an app that solves math word problems!
    Can Photomath solve word problems? Yes, if you upgrade to Photomath Plus.
    The Photomath math app is a free download. If you need Photomath to solve word problems, you can get a monthly subscription to Photomath Plus (just $9.99/ month or $60/year.)
    Photomath Plus solves word problems for select textbooks. There is a textbook icon at the top of the Photomath app where you can search for your textbook by title or ISBN number. If your textbook pops up, you can get expert explanations for even word problems!
    The app will automatically offer you the chance to upgrade to Photomath Plus, if the app recognizes that you use a textbook they support. Right now, it is even offering a Photomath Plus Free Trial for 7 days!
    Another cool bonus feature of Photomath Plus? Animated tutorials for textbook solutions, just like a teacher would do on a chalkboard! Here is an example.

    Download Photomath App
    The free Photomath App is available for download through the App Store and Google Play.
    Get the most used math learning app in the world now! – > Photomath.app
    With the Photomath math help app, you will learn how to approach math problems through clear steps and detailed instructions. With that kind of help, everyone can be good at math!
    Sounds like a recipe for confident, happy kids and happy parents:) Do you think you will give it a try? More

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    in Parenting

    10 Characteristics Of A Role Model

    While people have the capability to be a rock of stability and achieve feats of human excellence, they also can fall victim to reckless mistakes and poor decisions. Good role models are like beacons of light that show you the way through their own example. Here are ten characteristics of a role model that make them natural leaders and serve to remind you of what is truly important.
    What Are Characteristics Of A Role Model?
    Having a role model to emulate often helps kids and even adults to achieve the results they desire and stay on a productive path. Role model qualities are worth striving to cultivate because they possess the ability to act as guardrails that protect the success and integrity of one’s life. Role model characteristics are important to exhibit to your children and help them develop as well.
    We can all serve as role models in various ways to our peers but as a parent it is our duty. We must exhibit the behavior we desire in our children to be an excellent role model. As Stanton E. Samenow Ph.D. points out, “Developmental psychologists emphasize that it is parents who constitute the most important role models in that their influence is crucial to their offspring’s personality development.”

    Willpower
    Willpower is the ability to act through adversity for the sake of a greater purpose. Ideal role models will often have overcome poor circumstances. They will gracefully deal with problematic situations in creative, intelligent ways to achieve their goals or overcome adversity. The ability to pull passion to succeed from within themselves is one of the admirable qualities of a role model.
    As a parent, demonstrating will power in the small things like having dinner before dessert is a good daily habit. Learning to have and exhibit will power in the small situations helps us to develop it and display it when it comes to bigger situations. In other words, doing the right thing, even when it feels hard to do.
    Confidence
    Confidence is a role model quality of belief that pushes a simple “yes” from the mind out into the world. One of the best ways to build confidence is to teach through encouragement. Setting high expectations and showing disappointment in a child’s failure to reach them is only setting them up for failure.
    Encourage your child, reward them with kind words as they work towards they goals, and praise their efforts. These things build confidence. Kids need a confident role model that teaches them to be confident too. Even if they aren’t certain of how to do something, a great role model will be confident that it can both be done if they put research and effort into it.

    Photo by Blaise Vonlanthen on Unsplash
    Dynamic
    Flexibility is not just a physical quality. It is also one of the important characteristics of a role mode. A person that is willing to vary their strategy and mold themselves into whatever is best for what they wish to achieve, is acting with a dynamic mentality.
    Imagine a car that also turns into a submarine, plane and spaceship. There are some situations where it might be best for it to fly, but others will demand it become a submarine. In life, trying only one approach in every situation is an easy way to fail. A great role model will know when to become relaxed, mindful, focused, dedicated, irreverent, humorous, intense and any other state of being that helps them to better manifest their intentions.
    Respectful
    Another of the important role model characteristics is respect. In other words, the art of understanding, accepting, considering and honoring one’s surroundings. An ideal role model respects themselves and all others. If they were to be challenged by anything from an angry driver to bullying at school, they would respond with understanding, empathy, and proper consideration of the results of their actions.
    Committed
    Effective role models persist in spite of setbacks and failures. The goal is more important to them than giving up is. Once they have committed to a decision, it is most often as good as done. Commitment is one of the characteristics of a role model that makes them reliable and worth looking up to.
    Role models possess a committed nature that is loyal and determined. At times, there will be certain circumstances where a commitment may no longer serve them. This is where being dynamic becomes even more important. However, the majority of time, a role model will consider carefully before they commit. Once committed, especially when other’s are relying on them, they will come through.
    Service-Oriented
    It’s important to teach your people that giving back to others in their community and beyond is necessary to be successful. A good role model volunteers their time and effort to be a contributing member of their community. Being of service in your community builds unity, teamwork skills, and creates a generous heart.
    Teach your kids the importance of service by regularly volunteering your time for causes and charities that matter to your family. Bring your children along so they can participate in service of their community as well.
    Self-Improvement
    The only way to grow and become a better person is to continually work on improving ourselves and our minds through education and conversation. Don’t be afraid to try new experiences, participate in conversations, and read books that open your mind to new ideas. This teaches your child to never stop growing as well.
    Making a habit of self-improvement allows us to grow and learn new things that can provide us a better life. A positive role model recognizes the importance of self-improvement and makes the growth mindset a way of life.
    Healthy Lifestyle
    A proper diet and plenty of exercise not only helps us live longer, it improves our brain function, gives us energy, and allows us to experience more of life. Our children follow our example so living a healthy lifestyle is an important characteristic of a good role model.
    Childhood obesity is on the rise and it leads to depression and disease in adulthood. Teaching your child healthy habits now will create good habits for the rest of their life. These habits will help them live a more fulfilling life.
    Be a role model through example by making healthy food choices and getting daily exercise. Include your child in these habits and teach them about making healthy choices.
    Honesty
    Honesty is an important family value to pass on. Sometimes being honest with your kids is one of the hardest things to do. Especially when it comes to past mistakes and missteps. But it shows your kids that you’re human too and you have made mistakes, but you’ve worked to do better.
    Being honest can be difficult, and it will come with challenges for young people too. However, showing a more vulnerable side of yourself and being honest even when it’s hard, will teach your kids to do the same.
    Honesty in a role model extends beyond just the words you speak. It also includes making your life an open book. Your kids should feel comfortable asking you anything and understanding who you are. Take your kids to work with you so they can see what you do everyday and why it’s important. Talk to them about how you create your family budget and what your financial priorities are and why. Keeping secrets about things that can help your child learn to be a better person won’t benefit either of you.
    Accountability
    And finally, the buck has to stop somewhere and that is with the person in charge. A good role model takes accountability for their actions and for the outcome of their plans. We are not always perfect and things don’t always work out as we thought they would so we have to own our mistakes and areas for opportunity so we can do better next time. We have to recognize what went wrong and be sure that those same errors don’t happen again.
    Conclusion- The Qualities Of A Role Model Make Them Natural Leaders
    So, there you have nine characteristics of a role model that can serve as roots of action. They are a great place to start on your quest for self-improvement. As a parent we are role models, whether we intend to be or not, so it is important to try to exhibit good role model qualities.
    Don’t let that contribute to parenting stress, rather remember to always do your best and be satisfied with that. Remember that you are leading your children through your words and actions. True role models walk the talk even in difficult situations. They are the kind of people who know how motivate others and make them want to be their best.
    Which of these positive role model characteristics is most important to you?
    Favorite Role Model Quotes:
    “A role model in the flesh provides more than inspiration; his or her very existence is confirmation of possibilities one may have every reason to doubt, saying, ‘Yes, someone like me can do this.” -Sonia Sotomayor
    “I think role models also start in the home with your parents.” -Dominique Wilkins
    “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” -James Baldwin
    “Being a role model…is equal parts being who you actually are and what people hope you will be.” -Meryl Streep
    “I think a role model is a mentor – someone you see on a daily basis, and you learn from them.” -Denzel Washington
    Related Posts:
    How To Find A Mentor
    How to Teach Your Child the Difference Between Right and Wrong
    10 Strategies For Wealth From Leanne Jacobs More

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    in Parenting

    Sight Word Practice Ideas For Beginning Readers

    If you are unfamiliar with the concept of sight words, they are words that beginning readers learn to memorize to help them build reading confidence.  In Tennessee, where I live, there are 40 kindergarten sight words that kindergarteners need to master.  A sight word is a word whose spelling is not always straightforward and memorizing sight words helps beginning readers get past that reading hump. Here are some entertaining sight word practice ideas to get your little ones confident with the sight words so that they will foster a love of reading.
    5 Fun Sight Word Practice Ideas:
    My son and I played a fun sight word game the other night that I thought I would share with you.  He wanted to play Tic-Tac-Toe which I find kind of boring so I substituted his sight words and it was more fun for both of us.  I hope you enjoy these kindergarten sight word learning ideas!
    (This post was orginally published in November 2012, but I thought I would republish it to share it with more beginning readers.)
    You can get printable sight words list from This Reading Mama. They will be great to work through and check off the words your child learns through the sight word practice ideas below. Then you can both see how much progress you child is making!
    Sight Word Tic-Tac-Toe Game

    I drew the Tic-Tac-Toe board and filled it in with random sight words.  Then I got to pick the square and he had to read the word.  If he got the word correct, we put a big “O” around it and if he got the word wrong, we put a big “X” over it.  He had to get three “O”s in a row to win and I guess I could have won if I had managed to get three “X”s in a row but I never did.  Trust me, you won’t mind losing when you are so proud of your child’s reading!  He wanted to play this over and over and each time you can use different sight words!
    Other Sight Word Practice Ideas:
    Flyswatter Sight Word Game-
    Place index cards that have the sight words written on them on the floor.  Call out a word and have your child slap that word with the flyswatter.  Kids love an excuse to swat!
    Hopscotch Sight Word Game-
    Draw a hopscotch layout outdoors in sidewalk chalk.  Then have your child fill it in with sight words and say them as he or she hops through the hopscotch!
    Silly Story Sight Word Game-
    Take turns creating silly sentences that include sight words and telling a story at the same time.  Good for laughs as well as using the words!  Have you child write or read the sight words you both use in each sentence.

    Sight Words Memory Game-
    Have your child write 10 sight words that they are struggling with onto index cards. Then have them do it a second time for the same words. Now comes the fun part- they will have 20 cards to play a memory game with. They will have learned a lot while preparing the game and playing it with you will make it fun and I bet they learn those sight words in time with this fun game.
    Sight Word Learning Tips
    Sight words can be intimidating to your child at first so make sure you showing them a lot of love and encouragement. If your child feels you are cheering them on, they will want to practice more and get more right. If your child feels like you are disappointed and frustrated, they will likely not want to learn at all because they will fear failure.
    Try feedback like, “You missed that one but I bet you get it right next time. You just need a little practice.” Or as my grandmother always said with an encouraging smile, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.”
    My kids love having a book read to them. If yours do to, ask them to point out sight words as you read! This should be all about having fun reading and being read to. “Patience is a virtue”, my grandmother always said. Don’t worry, have faith and have fun and the skills will come to them when the time is right. What are some of your favorite sight word practice ideas?
    Related Posts:
    Fun Kindergarten Sight Words Game Scavenger Search
    Homeschool Reading Curriculum
    Fun Family Activity Ideas More

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    in Parenting

    Creative Reward Ideas For Kids

    Just as adults like to be rewarded for a job well done, children should be rewarded as well. Despite the fact that many children take an active interest in learning and getting high marks on their own, positive reinforcement is essential to maintain this interest over long periods of time. One aspect of parenting is providing this leadership and motivation through an effective reward system. Still, many parents feel concerned about just giving their children money as a reward for good behavior or grades. Fortunately, there are several creative ways of rewarding children for good grades without handing over cash. Here are 10 creative reward ideas for kids that are small, cheap, and fun!
    10 Fun Rewards For Kids

    1. Verbal Acknowledgement
    Never discount the strength of saying a few kind words. Saying, “Great job on your hard work,” giving a hug, or throwing up a hand for a high five are all great ways to encourage your child’s strengths. Your child should never doubt how capable he or she is, especially when it comes to how you feel about his or her capabilities. In addition, you can hang up the report card or project on the refrigerator for others to see and comment on and so they know you are proud. These are small rewards for kids but ones that really count big time. We all like to feel appreciated.

    2. Create A Savings Account
    You might not want to hand money over to younger children, but you might consider putting it in a savings account that your child can watch grow. This practice will ensure your child has a good chunk of change saved by the time they graduate to buy a car, pay for college, or rent an apartment for a couple months. Ten dollars here and there really adds up over time!
    3. Special Time
    If you have several children, consider taking a day to spend a fun day with just the child you want to reward. Take a day trip just an hour away and do something fun. Go to the zoo or spend time at the beach. Quality time is one of the best reward ideas for kids because it deepens your bond and shows them you care.
    4. Later Bedtime or Extra Screen Time
    As children grow more responsible, many parents choose to increase the privileges they receive. You might increase the time your child gets to spend on the computer, playing video games or watching television by 15 or 30 minutes. You may want to grant an extra 30 minutes to older children before bedtime or a short curfew expansion. This is a great way to acknowledge that your child has been living up to responsibilities and expectations. On the flip side, your child should realize that privileges can be lost if they stop applying themselves to their studies or act irresponsibly.
    5. Books
    Books make a great reward for children who love to read. Rewarding good grades with a book encourages further education and they can take pride in owning the book. We normally go to the library for books. However, when they are doing well in school, we take a trip to the bookstore as a reward. The second hand book stores are incredibly reasonable so books make great small rewards for kids.

    6. Family Night
    If you have a planned family night, allow your child to choose the activity and menu for the night. Some fun ideas include a family game night, movie night, or miniature golf along with a pizza party and ice cream sundaes or s’mores. Celebrating with a family night allows the whole family to be involved in rewarding your child for their hard work. This is one of the fun rewards for kids that they will cherish.
    7. Dinner of Their Choice
    Whatever they decide to have for dinner, they get, no exceptions. If they only want to eat cake and ice cream, that’s fine. Kids find it enjoyable to break out of the ordinary, every day rules and do the unexpected. Let them have fun with it for one meal. Having cake for dinner one night won’t ruin them and will remind them how special they are. It is a cheap reward for kids that they are sure to love.
    8. Give Them a Special Hobby Gift
    This has the opportunity to be one of the most meaningful reward ideas for kids. Is there something your child has been wanting or wish they had more of? Acknowledge their hard work with a special gift. Art supplies or other hobby/craft supplies they enjoy will not only reward them but also inspire their creativity. Furthermore, knowing that they’ll get something they really want if they continue to do good, will keep them working hard.
    9. Give Them a Week Off
    What kid enjoys doing chores? None that I know of! Reward your child for their hard work by giving them a week off from doing any chores. Tell your child that they don’t have to make their bed, pick up their clothes, or any of the other chores they’re usually assigned. Let them off the hook and give them a week off from any extra work around the house. This just may be one of their favorite rewards for kids!
    10. Plan a Scavenger Hunt
    Reward your child with a special surprise or gift for their hard work, but make them work for it. Create a scavenger hunt where they have to solve puzzles and riddles to find their surprise. They’ll enjoy the search almost as much as the surprise itself.
    In addition, make sure you reward your child for even the small achievements like consistently doing their homework without you having to ask them to do so. You may find a reward chart with stickers motivates your child to continue working hard on a day-to-day basis. Kids naturally yearn for parental approval. Show them that you value hard work and education through your words and your actions. Which of these reward ideas for kids do you think your child will enjoy the most?
    Related Posts:
    What To Do When Your Child Won’t Do Homework
    The Importance Of Family Values
    Why It’s Important To Have A Reward System For Home Schooling More

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    in Children

    What is a child arrangements order?

    A child arrangements order is a court order that sets out who has responsibility for the care of a child, including who they live with and how often they will see/ have contact with both parents. 
    Most commonly used in cases where the parents cannot reach an agreement on how to share the care of their children, the purpose of the order is to ensure that the child’s welfare is the first and foremost consideration. 
    Things to consider before applying for a child arrangements order
    Before you make an application for a child arrangements order, you should try to agree on the arrangements with the other party.
    You can consider preparing a parenting plan; a written statement that both parents sign up to establish the ground rules of shared parenting. 
    Mediation can also assist parents in reaching an agreement about arrangements for their children.
    If an agreement cannot be reached, then it will be necessary to issue an application for a child arrangements order. 
    What is a child arrangements order? What does it mean?
    A child arrangements order is a court order that sets out who is responsible for the care of a child. 
    It is usually used in cases when the parents cannot agree on how to split care of their children. 
    What conditions can a child arrangements order specify?
    A child arrangements order can state: 

    Who the children live with

    Where they live

    When and how the children will see both parents

    For example, they may spend weeknights in the family home and weekends with their mother/father.
    It can also set out other types of contact such as through phone calls, video calls, cards and letters etc.
    Who can apply for a child arrangements order?
    The following people can apply for an order without prior permission from the court. 

    A parent, guardian or special guardian of the child

    A spouse or civil partner if the child is part of that family

    Someone with parental responsibility 

    Someone who already has a residence order for that child

    Someone who the child has lived with for more than three years

    Grandparents, who do not meet any of the criteria above, have to apply to the court for permission before applying for the order. 
    How do I apply for a child arrangements order?
    You will need to obtain a signed MIAM* form before you can make an application for a child arrangements order. * MIAM is the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting.  This is a required step for anyone having a dispute regarding children unless certain exceptions apply such as domestic abuse.
    An application for a child arrangements order is made on a C100 form.  This sets out the details of the children and the parties involved.  You will be asked to state which orders you are seeking and why.
    You will also need to complete a C1A form if you are alleging harm and domestic violence.
    Once you have completed the C100 form, you will need to send it to the court in triplicate along with the court fee which is currently £215, unless you are eligible for a fee exemption.
    The application should be sent to the nearest court to where the children concerned in the application live.
    Once the court receives your application, it will set a date for everyone involved in the application to have a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA).
    The court will send a copy of the application to the other party, and they must complete an acknowledgement form and return it to the court to confirm that they have seen the papers.
    Understanding the court process to obtain a child arrangements order 
    How long does a child arrangements order last?
    Generally, a child arrangements order will expire when the child turns 18 years old unless otherwise stated. 
    How much does it cost?
    You will need to pay the current court fee of £215 unless you are eligible for a fee exemption and your solicitor’s fees. While you do not need a solicitor to apply for the order, it’s advisable to have professional legal advice from an experienced family lawyer as this area of law can be complicated. 
    What do the courts consider when granting a child arrangements order?
    First and foremost, the courts will consider what is in the best interests of the child using the welfare checklist, which considers the following:

    The wishes and feelings of the child concerned dependent on their age and level of understanding

    The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs

    The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the court’s decision

    The child’s age, sex, background and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision

    Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering

    The capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs

    The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

    Is a child arrangements order legally binding?
    Yes, this order is legally binding, and if a parent breaches it, they will be in contempt of court which could mean fines, enforcement orders, unpaid work in the community and even imprisonment (although this is extremely rare).
    How are child arrangements orders enforced?
    Unfortunately, these orders are not always complied with.
    If you are experiencing difficulties with a child arrangements order, try to discuss the breach (s) with the other parent in the hope that you can reach an agreement without having to return to court. Meditation can also help here. 
    If you have to return to court, an application for enforcement is made on a Form C79. 
    Enforcement proceedings must be dealt with without delay and if possible, listed before the judge that dealt with matters previously. A hearing will be listed within 20 working days of the application being issued.
    Read more about what happens when a parent breaks a court order. 
    Can I stop a child arrangements order?
    Circumstances change, and it is not uncommon that a child arrangements order no longer works for the child or the parents, particularly as children get older. 
    You can ask the court to vary an order; however, before making an application, it is advisable to look at other methods of negotiation. This could be negotiation via solicitors or mediation. In some cases, where there are older children involved, they too can attend mediation to tell the mediator what it is that they want. 
    If this not possible, you will need to complete a C100 application form and explain why you are asking the court to vary the current child arrangements order. 
    The court will only vary the order if they consider it to be in the best interests of the child to do so.
    However, where possible,  try and stay out of court as it is expensive, time-consuming and upsetting for the whole family.
    How can a lawyer help with a child arrangements order?
    Taking professional advice from a specialist family lawyer will ensure that you have someone on your side who knows the law and understands how the courts work. 
    A family lawyer will help you to understand the likely outcome of the order and help you to change or improve the outcome. 
    This is a complex area of the law and going to court is expensive. A family lawyer can help you to negotiate with your ex-partner and hopefully settle the case amicably. 
    Get in touch
    If you would like any advice on child law, you can find further articles here or please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist children lawyers here. 
    This article was originally published on an earlier date and has since been updated.  More

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    in Parenting

    Budgeting For Kids: Teaching Your Children To Budget

    As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children financial awareness. This includes showing them how to budget their money from an early age. Including them as a part of the family budgeting plans is a great thing, but it does not relate directly to them on their level. Therefore, helping your kids set up a budget of their own will teach them on a smaller scale what it is that you do every month with your finances.  If you child is old enough to have an allowance, they are old enough to learn budgeting for kids.
    Budgeting For Kids Provides A Firm Foundation 

    “Choose my instruction rather than silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold; for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with it. I have good advice and sound wisdom; I have insight, I have strength.” ~ Proverbs 8:10, 11, 14

    Being money wise is very important to your child being able to get started on their own and make it in the world. Knowledge about money and how it works should be shared with them naturally as they grow and opportunities for discussion arise. Whether you are teaching them how to look at the price per ounce part of the stickers at the grocery store, or teaching them to save a portion of their earnings, learning these basic principles will help them immensely when they have to manage money on their own. A great place to start is by introducing a budget worksheet for kids.
    Teach Them To Use A Budget Worksheet For Kids
    There are many budget worksheet options out there that you can find to help you with the basics. Or just use a spreadsheet program on your computer. The left hand column can be for the days of the week and the columns that span the page across will be the categories like games, food, clothes, gifts, and savings. A budget worksheet for kids can be made to suit your child’s age and earnings.

    A budget worksheet for kids should include a place for what they earn, expenses, savings, and charity. Explain to them that they need to fill out their chart or do it together the first few times. Help your kids see how to disperse the money into the categories. If you incorporate a rule that 20% goes into savings and 10% to charity, those should come out first as well as any expenses. The rest can be divided into the fun areas and once they spend it, the money is gone. They will learn that they need to earn more.
    You can find 13 different budget worksheets for kids and pick what best matches your child’s age and monetary experience level at moneyprodigy.com
    Set Goals And Provide A Budget Project For Kids
    When you were younger, before the time of children and marriage, you dreamed of having a family and a home. These dreams became goals for you, things to accomplish and make your life richer in a more spiritual way. To be a realist though, money truly does make the world go ‘round. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable in your situation or provide your family with a home. In fact, it sets a great example for your children.
    Sit down with your kids and help them learn to set a short term goal (realistic) and a long term goal (big dream). It is great for kids to learn to work towards achieving their goals.  Have them draw a picture of the goal and hang it by the budget chart so they see it every day and remember why they are saving their money. The short term goal can be something as simple as buying a Matchbox car or saving for new clothes. The long term goal can be putting their money towards a car and/or college. Have them pick an actual dollar amount to work towards. Once they reach it, they can set the same goal again or another goal.
    Now that your child has some budgeting goals, give them a project! You should only use this budget project for kids if they are old enough. Also wait until they have become familiar with using the budget sheet. See if they can use their budget sheets to calculate how long it will take them on their current allowance or supplementing with additional earned income of blank dollars each month to reach their small goal and their large goal.

    Reward Your Child For Learning To Budget
    You can expect some hesitation, a little bit of resistance even. As your children begin to take initiative in budgeting, be sure to encourage them with a shopping trip to buy that item they had been saving for. Every new program needs to be tackled with a loving and supportive attitude. When the family steps up and applies the learnings, let them know how much you love and appreciate them back. Your reward comes much later in life when they are financially stable people!
    Being a parent is a true blessing, but one that does not come without its responsibilities. It will feel really good to know that by teaching budgeting for kids, you are helping to prepare them for a successful future.
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    in Parenting

    20 Inspirational Parenting Quotes

    Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have. It’s also the most rewarding. Watching your children grow, learn new skills, enjoy new discoveries, and develop their own personality is nothing short of a blessing. But sometimes, we all need a reminder of just how blessed we are! Here are some of my favorite inspirational parenting quotes to help you get back on the horse and try again!

    Inspirational Parenting Quotes To Help You Stay Positive
    As much as you love your child, there are those days. You know the ones. The days when your temper is short and your patience is low. When you feel like you’re failing and absolutely anyone else in the world is a better parent than you.
    When those days strike, take a deep breath and relax. All is not lost and it’s never as bad as you imagine. Every parent you’ve ever know, every parent through the history of the world, has had those days. You are not alone.
    If you’re having one of those off days today, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with some inspirational parenting quotes. And if today is a good day, you may want to bookmark this page or print it and hang it where you can see it for some inspiration when a bad day does strike.
    As long as you love your child and show them that love in everything you do, you will be a successful parent. Even on the bad days. I hope these quotes help inspire you.

    Positive Quotes About Parenting
    “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” –Dr. Benjamin Spock
    “When you look at your life, the greatest happiness is family happiness.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers
    “Don’t try to be perfect. Life isn’t; no one is. Use mistakes and mishaps as opportunities to grow tolerance and to teach. There is such a thing as happy accidents. And love, love, love, and listen, listen, listen.” – Teri Hatcher
    “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” – Ann Landers
    “In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time.” – Author Unknown
    “There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.” – Sue Atkins
    “Our most important responsibility as parents is regulating our own emotions, which is essential for our children to learn to manage themselves.” – Dr. Laura Markham
    “Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” – Bill Ayers
    “Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one.” – Glennon Melton
    “I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway… let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.” – C. JoyBell C.

    Parent Child Relationship Quotes
    “You can’t teach children to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better, they behave better.” – Pam Lee
    “My parents taught me I could be anything in the world I wanted to be.” – Joan Jett
    “Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” – W.E.B. DuBois
    “So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time. None of us are perfect, and we must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves.” – Rebecca Eanes
    “Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow.” – Thomas Bray

    Funny Parenting Quotes
    “I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.” – Jim Gaffigan
    “Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.” – A.A. Milne“You will never look back on life and think, ‘I spent too much time with my kids.’” – Author Unknown
    “Adolescence is perhaps nature’s way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.” – Karen Savage and Patricia Adams“In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.” – Author Unknown
    Being a parent is the most important job we have. Afterall, we are shaping lives! But the beautiful part is that if we are trying our best, they will know and give us credit. Parenting is a job where we get to reap the love we sow. I hope you enjoy these inspirational parenting quotes. Feel free to pass the positivity on and share them on social media. Tag us with #familyfocusblog!
    Do you have a favorite quote that offers inspiration to parents?
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