Evelyn Reynolds

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    Why Positive Discipline Techniques Are So Effective

    These days many parents are tuned in to the fact that some forms of discipline are heavy handed. Harsh discipline can actually thwart the development of the child by undermining their confidence and weakening the parent-child connection. However, parents also know that all children can – and do – misbehave from time-to-time and discipline is an important part of establishing consequences and boundaries. Choosing to use positive discipline technique for your child is so effective because it helps to establish cooperation without shaming.

    What is Positive Discipline?
    Dr. Jane Nelsen is the founder of the positive discipline techniques and published the book Positive Discipline in 1981. While these ideas were not entirely new, they were synthesized into a clear picture of how to raise a child through positive discipline that helped children to become more responsible, cooperative, and self-disciplined. Positive discipline works through clear communication and keeping the parent-child connection (rather than severing it through chastisement and isolation).
    The Positive Discipline Book:
    The Positive Discipline book goes into much greater detail and gives you many positive discipline techniques and examples to help you navigate parenthood from toddlers to teens. It teaches you how to:
    bridge communication gaps
    defuse power struggles
    avoid the dangers of praise
    enforce your message of love
    build on strengths, not weaknesses
    hold children accountable with their self-respect intact
    teach children not what to think but how to think
    win cooperation at home and at school
    meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior
    Why Positive Discipline Is Better
    Positive discipline is a form of training, as opposed to chastisement – which is more like a punishment. Effective discipline involves clear communication where appropriate behaviors and inappropriate behaviors are made clear as are consequences.
    Positive discipline techniques are better because they focus on encouragement and problem solving rather than on threats, fear of punishment, and/or shame. To me, positive discipline and harsh discipline may both of the same effect of the child behaving in your presence but one is much better. Positive discipline is the best because it is more effective in your absence and because it encourages self growth. Because the child is learning what is expected and learning to problem solve in order to avoid negative outcomes, they are naturally more able to do so without you. If they are learning the consequences of their actions without being shamed and feeling disconnected from the parent, they can learn their lesson without the compounded problem of feeling cut off from their parent.
    Generally, more traditional discipline comes after the horse has bolted and is corrective in nature. It can be confusing to the child if clear communication has not occurred to let them know what was expected or unacceptable. This means that it has the potential to damage self-esteem or undermine a child’s confidence.
    For example, when a child does something wrong and the standard response is go to your room, or a swat on the bottom, the child has been “disciplined” in a traditional sense. But has that child learned anything? They have probably learned that a certain behavior will merit this negative response but they probably haven’t learned why or what they could have done differently.
    Given that children tend to mimic adults, teaching kids this type of punitive reaction to things we don’t like can lead to problems. For example, if I were to smack and shout at my child when they did something wrong, I should not be surprised to find that my child may smack and shout at his friend when he perceives something he doesn’t like. All my child would be doing is repeating what I taught him.
    Using positive discipline techniques helps your child learn to use his or her reasoning and better judgement to avoid misbehavior rather than fear of punishment to avoid misbehavior.
    Positive Discipline Techniques

    Dr. Nelsen offers five criteria for positive discipline- kind and firm, belonging and significance, effective long term, teaches life skills, reinforcement of capability.
    Positive discipline techniques do not allow for permissiveness and still involve consequences. They are kind and firm. It is important to be respectful and encouraging even when you are firm in respecting yourself and delivering consequences teach teach the lesson.
    Children need to feel a sense of belonging and significance. Connection is a very important part of our motivation and children want to belong and feel important. Positive parenting techniques keep this in mind as well as teach valuable life skills such as respect and concern for others. They encourage cooperation and contribution.
    Ultimately, positive discipline techniques are empowering for a child because they invite the children to discover how capable they really are and to use their personal choices in positive ways. 
    Positive discipline techniques take into account that children will often reflect what we do and sometimes show us our own short-comings. We too can practice self improvement in being clear communicators and in looking ahead to avoid poor behavior.
    Another positive discipline technique is to look at the belief behind the behavior. Taking a look at why a poor behavior is happening can sometimes be as simple as the circumstances but for repetitive problems, there may be an underlying belief or misunderstanding that needs to addressed. Talking with children about why they are making their choices and helping them brainstorm and problem solve solutions can go along way towards preventing future problems.
    Real Life Positive Discipline Examples
    This portion of the post is contributed by Neil Fellowes whose mission is to help parents with their parenting techniques using everyday situations. He uses the authoritative parenting style to create less pressure and frustration. He finds that positive discipline is more effective making busy parents more peaceful and efficient. 
    You see, there many things we can do as a parent to pre-empt a child’s behaviour. One positive discipline technique is to put something in place that can stop the unnecessary or unwanted behaviour beforehand.
    For example, if a toddler is left alone in front of the DVD for a time with a drink and they, quite by chance, stand up by the TV and accidentally drip all their juice out of their toddler cup onto the DVD player and it fuses, it will likely infuriate you, but is it really their fault?
    The authoritative parenting style requires the parent to think ahead and work things out for a child. For example, I knew that my children would get on brilliantly for about 30 minutes when they are aged around 12 and 6 years old respectively. If I left them much longer than that they would get disruptive and fall out.
    I noticed a pattern, so I began to interrupt it. After about 20 or 25 minutes I’d go and check in on them, spend 5 to 10 minutes with them and then leave again. This way they spent longer together without annoying each other and falling out. Over time I began to increase the time by a few minutes here and there.  The outcome was a brilliantly creative time where they made animated movies together out of Lego with voice overs.  Because of this they made some memories and developed a closer bond than they would have if I had not predicted their behaviour and interrupted it.
    Yes, positive discipline may require a little more work up front to think things through, but compare that to not thinking things through and the energy it then takes to correct bad behaviour and the bad feeling that goes with that.
    Take a moment now and consider what do you chastise or discipline your child for the most. Think about what is happening just before you have to tell them off… think about what you can do to interrupt the behaviour before it starts.
    An example might be you are going on a trip to grandma’s house. The trip is an hour and usually the children are fine for the first 10 minutes, but then they start to act up, and you have to pull over or threaten them.
    Now use the positive discipline approach. What can you do at 10 minutes into the journey that interrupts the kids? Play a game of eye-spy? Sing a song together? What can you do 10 minutes later? Tell them 10 things you love about them? Have them tell each other what they love about each other?
    You might notice all my positive discipline examples above get the children interacting with each other and collaborating or cooperating.  And you might argue that you can’t do this in all situations.
    For example, what do you do when you are on the phone and you sense they are about to get troublesome? You could give them a rub on the head and pause from the call long enough to reassure them that although you are busy you are watching them. You could end the call if it’s unimportant! Alternatively, you could distract them with a treat of some sort.
    None of this is hard to do. It takes a little thought on your part, but that thought will save you a lot of trouble and frustration and negative energy. On the positive side, what are the long-term benefits you will enjoy as a family because you have stopped negative behaviour and encouraged collaboration and co-operation.
    Conclusion
    For me personally, I have always used positive discipline techniques. They came very naturally to me as my Grandmother always used logic and reason with me to help me chose the best course of action and regulate my own behavior. When more traditional disciplines methods were used on me, I felt very angry and resentful of those lording their power over me. I found in raising my own two children that positive discipline is so effective and it results in happier children and parents.
    There are so many different parenting styles.  What do you feel works when it comes to disciplining your child? Do you think you will try some of these positive discipline techniques?
    Related Posts:
    Understanding Children’s Behavior Problems And The Best Discipline Response
    Why Have Kids Write A Letter Of Apology For Bad Behaviour
    Do You Have Developmentally Appropriate Behavioral Expectations? More

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    in Children

    How does conflict during separation and divorce affect children?

    The effect of conflict during separation and divorce on children 
    Luisa Williams, CEO & Founder from My Family Psychologist joins us on the blog with her advice on how does conflict during separation and divorce affect children? 
    Imagine that you are about to go on the world’s scariest rollercoaster ride. 
    You didn’t want to go on it at first, but you have been told by others that not going on this rollercoaster would be the wrong decision. 
    You have been arguing with your partner for the past six months about it and having a constant push and pull. 
    You have to decide whether this is a rollercoaster you want to experience, whether you can afford to go on this ride and what you want to achieve. 
    Then, if you decide that you have to ride it, so does everybody you care about, even if they don’t want to.  
    Now, imagine that your child or children have witnessed all of your arguments about the rollercoaster and feel that they have no choice but to ride that rollercoaster with you. 
    This level of conflict has impacted that child so much that they are now involved in this situation against their own will. 
    How do you think that this has impacted them?  
    Separation and divorce
    Separation and divorce are by no stretch of the imagination, a conflicting and challenging situation to be in, not to mention the added hardship of having children as part of that equation.  
    So what is a high-conflict separation or divorce?  
    Previous research has shown that high-conflict separation or divorce often refers to verbal or physical altercations between parents as witnessed by the child. 
    It can feel like a tug of war for children who are in the centre and have parents pulling on opposite ropes, which can be extremely overwhelming for a child.  
    What does the research say about how a high-conflict separation and divorce can affect children?  
    Previous findings from research date back to the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s and suggest that children are not necessarily negatively affected by living in a single-parent family but more so by the conflict witnessed. 
    Much of the research has shown that family conflict, especially parental conflict, can harm children in the following ways.  
    Mental health  
    Children who find themselves caught in the middle are more likely to experience depression and anxiety. 
    Jekielek (1998) used data from a longitudinal study which concluded that parental conflict had a consistently significant negative impact on child anxiety and depression four years later, suggesting that parental conflict has enduring effects on child well-being. 
    Furthermore, studies have concluded that children experience less anxiety and depression when their high-conflict, married parents’ divorce.  
    Their future relationships with others  
    Long term exposure to high conflict can have an adverse effect, especially as children may observe parents engaging in this behaviour and replicate in their relationships (Gager, Yabiku & Linver, 2016). 
    These children also tend to have impaired relationships with peers. Furthermore, the poor role modelling demonstrated by their parents leads these kids to have no idea what it means to have real friendships, and their expectations of friends can become quite distorted. 
    Their self-esteem, self-concept and identity  
    A study by Raschke and Raschke (1979) found that family conflict can be detrimental to their self-concept. 
    This has since been supported by other research which has found that high conflict post-divorce may lead to parents being alienated from their children (Dunne & Hendrick, 1994). 
    This can negatively impact children’s self-esteem and self-sufficiency in adulthood (Ben-Ami & Baker, 2012).   
    Their behaviour including risk-taking  
    Evidence suggests that children experiencing their parents’ divorce or separation is associated with lower levels of wellbeing (Amato, 2010) and more behavioural problems (Hetherington & Kelly 2002; Weaver & Schofield, 2015).  
    In particular, it can affect interpersonal skills (Kim, 2011) and externalising behaviours such as conduct problems (Kelly & Emery, 2003; Kim, 2011; Weaver & Schofield, 2015)  
    Their success or performance in school and daily life 
    Children may also underperform academically as a result of their parent’s break-up by getting poor grades, using drugs, becoming defiant, withdrawing from the world, acting out in class and stop doing activities that generally please them. 
    What can parents do to support their children who have witnessed high-conflict situations? 
    Parents may see the conflict as necessary when going through divorce proceedings, but you need to remember to think about the impact that this may be having on the child or children. 
    So the fact of the matter is simple; it is the conflict, and not necessarily the divorce, that puts your children at risk. 
    Supportive parenting strategies
    A few supportive parenting strategies can go a long way to helping kids adjust to the changes brought about by divorce, reduce the psychological effects and maintain healthy and supportive relationships with your children.

    Don’t put children in the middle. Children didn’t ask to be in this situation and don’t need a constant push and pull from parents.  
    Teach pro-social coping strategies and skills to help them adjust to what is happening. Offer reassurance at any opportunity. Children need reassurance that it isn’t their fault about what is happening.  
    Use consistent discipline when needed. Maintaining age-appropriate rules from both parents will offer stability and manage unwanted behaviour.  
    Monitor adolescence. As children enter adolescence, their hormones will kick in, and there may be further excuses for why they choose to act out including substance misuse and self-harm—Check-in with them and offer support where possible.  
    Empower your child to express themselves. Children need to be able to have a safe space to talk to their parents and express how they are feeling. They need warmth and comfort from both parents.  

    Get in touch
    If you are going through a high conflict separation or divorce proceedings and need some support for yourself or your children, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch with My Family Psychologist. 
    We offer specialised counselling services for adults, couples and children as well as mediation services. Get in touch and see how we can support you when you are going through a difficult time. 
    Visit the My Family Psychologist website here.
    Family law advice 
    If you would like any family law advice please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist family lawyers here
    References:  
    Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of marriage and family, 72(3), 650-666.  
    Anon, (n.d.). How Children Cope with High Conflict Divorce: How Are They Harmed and What Can Parents Do to Help Them – Divorce – Support Resources for Coping and Moving on After Divorce. [online] Available at: https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/how-children-cope-with-high-conflict-divorce-how-are-they-harmed-and-what-can-parents-do-to-help-them/ [Accessed 13 Aug. 2020]. 
    Ben-Ami, N., & Baker, A. J. (2012). The long-term correlates of childhood exposure to parental alienation on adult self-sufficiency and well-being. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(2), 169-183.  
    Dunne, J. E., & Hedrick, M. (1994). The parental alienation syndrome: An analysis of sixteen selected cases. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 21(3-4), 21-38.  
    Gager, C. T., Yabiku, S. T., & Linver, M. R. (2016). Conflict or divorce? Does parental conflict and/or divorce increase the likelihood of adult children’s cohabiting and marital dissolution? Marriage & Family Review, 52(3), 243–261.   
    ‌Government of Canada, Department of Justice, Electronic Communications (2015). Studies of High Conflict and its Effect on Children – High-Conflict Separation and Divorce: Options for Consideration (2004-FCY-1E). [online] Justice.gc.ca. Available at: https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/fl-lf/divorce/2004_1/p3.html [Accessed 24 Sep. 2019]. 
    Hetherington, E. M., & Kelly, J. (2002). For better or for worse: Divorce reconsidered. WW Norton & Company.  
    Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children’s adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilience perspectives. Family relations, 52(4), 352-362.  
    Kim, H. S. (2011). Consequences of parental divorce for child development. American Sociological Review, 76(3), 487-511.  
    Jekielek, S.M. (1998). Parental Conflict, Marital Disruption and Children’s Emotional Well-Being. Social Forces, 76(3), p.905. 
    Psychology Today. (n.d). Understanding the Effects of High-Conflict Divorce on Kids. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/better-divorce/201912/understanding-the-effects-high-confict-divorce-kids [Accessed 13 Aug. 2020]  
    Morin, A. (2017). The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children. [online] Verywell Family. Available at: https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170. [Accessed 13 Aug. 2020] 
    Raschke, H.J. and Raschke, V.J. (1979). Family Conflict and Children’s Self-Concepts: A Comparison of Intact and Single-Parent Families. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 41(2), p.367. 
    Weaver, J. M., & Schofield, T. J. (2015). Mediation and moderation of divorce effects on children’s behaviour  problems. Journal of family psychology, 29(1), 39. More

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    How To Stop Teens From Texting While Driving

    It is so important for safety that teens don’t text and drive. Of course, actions speak louder than words, so we must begin to educate our teens by through our own example.  That is probably not enough alone.  We also need to talk to our teens about texting and driving, sharing texting while driving statistics to help understand the dangers. Teens need to understand that we are serious and their actions have consequences. Additionally, here are 7 tools you can use that will stop your teenagers from texting while driving and that may, in the end, safe their lives.

    Share The Dangers Of Texting While Driving With Your Teen
    I suggest educating your teens to the dangers of texting and driving as a starting point. Defensive driving is important and they can’t do it if they aren’t aware of their surroundings. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that in 2010, more than 3,000 people were killed and an additional 416,000 were injured due to distracted driving, which includes texting while driving. That is why texting why driving is illegal in 49 states.
    According to a new, national survey conducted by the Ad Council, thirty-four percent teen of respondents said that they never text while driving. What about the other 66% of teens?  That means 66% of teens surveyed are engaging in at least occasional texting while driving.  So if you think your child doesn’t text while driving, it is worth a talk to make sure that they don’t!

    Texting and driving is an epidemic on America’s roadways, but these crashes are preventable. Distracted driving does not just happen, it’s a choice,” said U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.

    Once your teen understands the dangers of texting and driving make sure they understand the consequences too.  A few seconds of carelessness could have a devastating impact on their life and the lives of others. Texting while driving not only jeopardizes the safety of themselves and others, but it can also violate state motor vehicle laws  and result in hefty fines or loss of driving privileges.
    [embedded content]
    Want to take it a step beyond talking? Well, there is a new public service advertisement on YouTube featuring scenes from season three of Fox’s award-winning television series “Glee” to educate young adult drivers on the dangers of texting while driving. It may be the visual aid you are looking for to demonstrate to overconfident young adult drivers that it is not safe to text while driving.
    Have that talk and make sure your teen gets where he or she is going!
    7 Tools to Stop Your Teens from Texting And Driving

    How do you stop teenagers from texting while driving? Sure, you can and should talk to them about the risks, but when you’re 16 or 17, you feel like you’re immortal. Simply knowing that there are risks isn’t enough deterrent for many kids. It is always good to have the talk and then have the follow up safety measures too. Try these tools!
    Prevention apps.There are apps that prevent teens from texting while driving! They use the phone’s GPS signal to detect when the car is in motion, and they cut off access to the cellular network during those times. These apps aren’t available on all phones, of course. There are apps for iPhone, Android, and Blackberry, but you’ll be harder pressed to find a solution for a standard cell phone. They also don’t prevent the person from texting while at a stoplight, which can be just as dangerous and distracting.
    Reward apps.There are also apps that track whether or not a phone is being used when the car is in motion, and send you a report. These apps can be used to reward your children for following the rules of safe driving. You might set up a system whereby a certain number of text-free trips results in extra time or use of the car, or even a boost in their allowance.
    Parental controls from your cell phone service provider.Most of the major cell phone providers offer you a variety of parental control options.  Usually this is in the form of allowing or denying text or calls during certain times of day or to certain people. At the very least, you could set up a rule that prevents them from texting during the time of day when they’re usually driving to school, work, or wherever there regular schedule takes them.Stick shift.Another way to keep kids’ fingers off their phones and focused on driving is to let them drive a car with a manual transmission. When you’re driving a stick shift, you have to keep both hands busy, especially when driving through town. They won’t pick up the phone, because they know if they do they can’t stop at the stoplight ahead.
    Vehicle based cell phone blockers.There are a number of devices that connect with your car’s on-board systems to detect when the vehicle is in motion. Some of these product then send off a cell phone blocking signal, preventing your child’s phone from connecting to the cellular network. They might try to send a text, but it just won’t work.
    Text to speech apps.This may not be the ideal solution, but it can work for some teens. Text to speech apps allow the user to create and read text messages audibly. The Siri app on the iPhone 4s is one iteration of this kind of technology, but there are similar apps on the market for other devices, as well. It still offers a certain level of distraction, just not as much distraction as texting itself offers.
    Lead by example.One of the best ways to encourage safe driving habits of any sort is to set a good example for your teen drivers. Just because you’re an adult who’s been driving for 25 years and haven’t had an accident since college doesn’t mean it’s safe for you to text. If she sees you texting, her teenage mind is going to convince itself that it’s OK for her to text, too. This is perhaps your most powerful tool.

    Texting While Driving Statistics
    Teens need to understand the dangers of texting while driving are serious. Personal stories can be helpful and so can facts. You may want to share these texting while driving statistics with your child to make sure they really get how dangerous it is.
    According to thezebra.com, 14% of fatal crashes involved the use of cell phones.
    Texting while driving increases by 400% a driver’s time spent with their eyes off the road.
    The use of a cell phone while driving caused an estimated 1.5 million car crashes in the U.S. in 2017.
    According to policyadvice.net, “A texting and driving violation can lead to a $290 annual increase in insurance premiums.”
    Conclusion
    Texting and driving is proving to be extremely dangerous. As time goes on, we’re seeing more and more texting while driving statistics that prove this fact.  Encourage your kids to drive safely through conversation and follow up. Consider some of these solutions to help monitor and control their texting activity when you’re not in the car with them. Which tools do you think you will try?
    Related Posts:
    5 Tips For Monitoring Your Kids’ Smartphone Activity
    Teen Driver Safety And Ways to Prevent Teenage Driving Accidents
    Tips For Saving Money On Insurance More

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    in Children

    What happens when a parent breaks a court order?

    What happens when a parent breaks a court order? When parents cannot decide arrangements for their children once they have separated the court can issue a child arrangements order to clarify a child’s living arrangements. 
    This order is legally binding, and if a parent breaches it they will be in contempt of court which could mean fines, enforcement orders and even imprisonment (although this is extremely rare).
    If this is happening to you, what legal options do you have? Rachel Fisher from Stowe Family Law in Bristol joins us with advice on what happens when a parent breaks/breaches a court order?
    What can I do if my partner breaks or breaches a court order? 
    If you are experiencing difficulties with a child arrangements order, including minor or major breaches, it is advisable to keep a diary of these. This means you will have a clear picture of the difficulties you have faced.
    Then I would advise my client to try and discuss the breach (s) with the other parent in the hope that they can reach an agreement without having to return to court. The court process can be stressful, timely and expensive. 
    Another option is to use mediation as a neutral forum with a third-party to try and resolve the disagreements. 
    However, in some cases, it is not possible to discuss or agree on arrangements and therefore, the matters must be returned to the court to enforce the original order.
    How do you enforce a court order?

    An application for enforcement is made on a Form C79. Enforcement proceedings must be dealt with without delay and if possible, listed before the judge that dealt with matters previously. A hearing will be listed within 20 working days of the application been issued. 

    What will the court consider when deciding to enforce an order? 
    Once the court receives an application to enforce a child arrangements order, they will consider the following: 

    Whether the facts for the alleged non-compliance are agreed or whether it is necessary to conduct a hearing to establish them

    The reasons for any non-compliance

    The wishes and feelings of the child

    Whether any advice is required from Cafcass on the appropriate way forward 

    Assess and manage any risks of making further or other child arrangements orders

    Whether a separated parents information programme or referral for dispute resolution is appropriate

    Whether an enforcement order may be appropriate and

    The welfare checklist

    What are the penalties for a breaching a court order? 
    At the top of all child arrangements order, there is a warning notice that sets out the consequences to both parties about what will happen if they do not comply with the order.
    There are several powers available to the court when considering an application to enforce and these are as follows:

    Referral of both parents to a separated parents information programme or mediation

    Unpaid work requirement of between 40 and 200 hours where the court is satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that one party has failed to comply with a provision of the order

    Committal to prison (in very rare/serious cases)

    Changing which party the child or children live with (in very extreme/serious cases)/variation of the child arrangements order to include a more defined order

    A fine

    An order for compensation for financial loss

    A contact enforcement order or suspended enforcement order

    Can you get a court order changed?
    If circumstances change once a child arrangements order has been made, then it might be necessary to ask the court to vary the order if an agreement cannot be reached between the parents. 
    You will need to complete a C100 application form and explain why you are asking the court to vary the current child arrangements order. 
    The court will only vary a child arrangements order if they consider it to be in the best interests of the child to do so.
    Can court orders be overturned?
    It is possible to appeal decisions made by the family court, and I would advise anyone considering this to take legal advice on their individual circumstances.
    What can I do if I think my child is at risk? 
    If you consider that your child is at risk, then you should seek urgent legal advice on the steps you can take to safeguard your child. 
    Depending on your circumstances, it may be necessary to make an urgent application to the court.
    Get in touch 
    If you would like any advice on what happens when a parent breaks a court order please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist children lawyers here.  More

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    in Parenting

    Best Summer Jobs for Teens

    School is over and summer is finally here. Your teenagers are ready to enjoy some fun in the sun and they absolutely should. Summertime is also a great time for them to learn about money management and responsibility. Getting a summer job is one of the best ways for teens to begin to gain independence […]
    The post Best Summer Jobs for Teens appeared first on Family Focus Blog. More

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    in Children

    The calm after the storm: How to help children reintegrate back into the world post lockdown.

    Luisa Williams, CEO & Founder from My Family Psychologist joins us on the blog with her advice on how to help children reintegrate back into the world post lockdown. 
    There is no denying the impact that Covid-19 has had across the nation but it has particularly affected our children. 
    From talking to parents and friends, some children have adapted better than others. For some, they have experienced anxiety and a sense of uncertainty, especially when it comes to knowing what is expected of them.  
    As lockdown restrictions start to ease up, parents are left wondering how to make children feel as safe and calm as possible. 
    It is important that children are supported when entering this ‘new normal’ that the government keep telling us about. It may feel like there is a long way to go until we resume a sense of ‘normality’, however, we need to ask the question:

    What we can do as parents to support our children as they take the next steps into their new routines?

    Here are some tips on how to help children reintegrate back into the world post lockdown. 
    Educate yourself and get yourself up to date with any changes to guidelines before discussing this with your child. 
    Get your information from reliable sources. Check with www.gov.uk and the BBC for updates on any guidance. These are updated regularly to help parents ensure that they have all the necessary information.  
    Explain to your child about lockdown restrictions and what these mean. Explain that some things may be different and that it is not something that they need to be afraid of. Ask them if they understand and encourage them to ask questions. They don’t need to know everything; just keep it appropriate for the age of the child. 
    Reassure them that it is okay to feel worried or anxious. Ask them to keep a diary about how they are feeling or a worry jar where they can put questions in that they may have. This will encourage them to reflect on how they are feeling. Remind them that the rules that are in place are to keep us safe and that ‘now is not forever’.  
    Start getting them back into a routine.  
    During the lockdown, it is likely that their pre-COVID daily routine has been thrown out of the window and they may be getting up later and going to bed later. Gradually introduce earlier bedtimes and waking up times, especially as they get closer to their school return date. This will encourage a sense of normalcy.  
    Start going out for walks or to places where they may see other people so that they get used to being outside of the home environment. Many children may have opted to stay inside during the pandemic so may find it hard to be around people they don’t know. Get your children used to seeing people wearing masks and PPE and encourage them that this what some people are choosing to do in order to keep others safe.  
    Give children a choice to pick out a face mask so that they feel like they are wearing something they like. With new rules coming into place about wearing masks when shopping, the idea may feel uncomfortable to children as it can be restrictive.  Check out sites such as www.amazon.co.uk where they have a selection of child-friendly masks to choose from.  
    Spend quality time with your children doing something positive.
    This will help take a break from any anxieties they may have. This will also give you an opportunity to talk to your child and gives them a safe space to talk if they so wish to.  
    Encourage your children in a ‘routine’ of good hygiene. Washing their hands regularly when needed to the point where it becomes second nature rather than a strict regime. This will help make them less afraid and more mindful of looking after themselves. If your child is particularly health-conscious or has health anxiety, get a little pack together for them with things such as hand sanitizer, tissues and pocket wipes.  
    Encourage your children to think positively about what they are looking forward to in the future to reinforce a future-focused approach. Discuss what they may want to do in the future or where they may want to go. Make some plans with your child or children.
    Get in touch
    If you would like more advice on how to help children reintegrate back into the world post lockdown and find that your child or family members are experiencing anxiety post-lockdown and feel that they need some more support, please get in touch with My Family Psychologist and see how we can help. We work with children, parents and families to offer support when it is needed most, especially during these difficult times.  
    Visit the My Family Psychologist website here.
    Family law advice 
    If you would like any family law advice please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist family lawyers here.  More

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    Holly Rampy Baird Discusses COVID-19’s Implications on Divorce Cases & Hearings on WFAA’s Good Morning Texas

    COVID-19 has implicated almost every element of our daily lives, and complicated domestic situations and divorce are no exception. Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson partner Holly Rampy Baird appeared on WFAA’s Good Morning Texas to discuss how couples are moving forward with their divorce cases amidst the pandemic. View the interview here:
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  • 200 Shares99 Views

    in Family Law

    Holly Rampy Baird Discusses COVID-19’s Implications on Divorce Cases & Hearings on WFAA’s Good Morning Texas

    COVID-19 has implicated almost every element of our daily lives, and complicated domestic situations and divorce are no exception. Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson partner Holly Rampy Baird appeared on WFAA’s Good Morning Texas to discuss how couples are moving forward with their divorce cases amidst the pandemic. View the interview here:
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