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      What is in store for family law in 2024?

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      2024 has the potential to see the conclusion of a number of UK government legislation amendments and consultations. Each carefully considered change will have a far-reaching impact on family law and those dealing with the personal impact of family law matters. So, as we begin the new year, we look at important changes on the horizon and suggest what may be in store for family law in 2024.
      Financial Remedies Court reporting pilot
      The spotlight on ‘transparency in the Family Court’ continues in 2024. Following on from last year’s introduction of measures to increase understanding and scrutiny of the system, a new pilot scheme is set to start on January 29th.
      The Financial Remedies Court (FRC) reporting pilot will allow accredited journalists and bloggers to report on financial remedies proceedings. These include financial issues arising from divorce and civil partnership dissolution, and child support cases.
      The FRC pilot will initially cover three trial courts: the Central Family Court, Birmingham, and Leeds. Notably, certain hearings, like Financial Dispute Resolution, will maintain confidentiality, preserving the privacy of those involved.
      Proposed amendment to Victims and Prisoners Bill affecting parental responsibility
      In January 2024 the Ministry of Justice’s proposed amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill moves to the next stage. The proposal announced in 2022 seeks to automatically remove parental responsibility for parents convicted of the murder or voluntary manslaughter of their co-parent.
      The legislation change emerged after the death of Jade Ward, whose partner and father of her child murdered her in 2021. He was found guilty and sentenced to a minimum of 25 years in jail. Since then, Jade’s family have lobbied for a change in the law to automatically remove parental responsibility so that convicted offenders can no longer seek information about their children or make key decisions about their lives.
      The Ministry of Justice have confirmed that there will be exemptions in cases involving domestic abuse.
      Possible outline of future financial remedies reform
      In 2023 the Law Commission of England and Wales launched a comprehensive review of financial remedy orders. The review examines how finances are divided among couples post-divorce or civil partnership dissolution, currently governed by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 and Civil Partnership Act 2004.
      The aim of the review is to evaluate the effectiveness of current laws and ensure fairness for divorcing couples. Among other factors, the review set out to analyse discretionary powers of judges, explore wider powers for orders involving children over the age of eighteen, assess pension-related orders, review the mechanics and structure of post-divorce financial payments.
      The findings, anticipated in a scoping report in September 2024, may pave the way for significant reforms in future financial remedies legislation.
      Family court fees to rise
      Last month the UK Government completed a consultation which looks to increase court fees by up to 10% in 2024.
      The Ministry for Justice wants to increase revenue generated by the courts to ensure that they remain ‘sufficiently resourced’ to protect access to the courts for all those who seek justice.
      Users of His Majesty’s Courts and Tribunals Service (HMCTS), including the family court, contribute to the cost of the justice process by paying fees. Court fees generated £727 million of the total £2.3 billion cost to run HMCTS in 2022/23, with the remainder funded by the taxpayer.
      By increasing court fees by 10% the UK government is expected to generate up to £42 million per year. The key objectives of the price increase are to keep pace with increased costs, improve service delivery, subsidise the cost of free services, and reduce the overall cost to the taxpayer.
      Key 2024 family court fee increases include:

      Application for a divorce, or civil partnership dissolution – fees will rise from £593 to £652
      Application for a parental order – fees will rise from £232 to £255
      Application/permission to apply for adoption – fees will rise from £183 to £201
      Application for a financial order (other than consent order) – fees will rise from £275 to £303.

      Resolving family matters out of court
      In 2024 we’ll see a continuing emphasis on encouraging parties to seek resolution of their disputes outside of the court system. Last year the UK government carried out a consultation ‘Supporting earlier resolution of private family law arrangements’ to review mediation in family law.
      As a result, in 2024 we could see mandatory mediation for all suitable low-level family court cases (excluding those which include allegations or a history of domestic violence). The aim is to divert family disputes away from stretched courts and protect children from the impact of acrimonious and long-running court cases.
      It’s hoped the proposals will mean more people can make decisions and achieve resolutions with the support of a qualified mediator, rather than placing the decision with the family court.
      General election
      While the date of the next UK general election is still to be announced, it’s widely anticipated that the current Conservative government will call for an election in 2024.
      The latest voting intention polls suggest that Labour may win the next election, meaning a change in government. Whilst no parties have yet released their election manifestos, and the exact nature of any proposed changes to family law is yet unknown, we can expect to see some impact. More

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      in Children

      The Impact of the Housing Crisis on Divorcing Couples

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      Whilst the impact of the cost-of-living crisis is ongoing, the housing crisis in the UK has taken a front seat in the media. The market has seen record high mortgage rates which has become a battleground for divorcing couples, as well as sky-high rental prices and a lack of housing.
      These issues are having a significant impact on divorcing couples across the country.
      Housing is often a contentious subject in divorce proceedings, as couples fight over whether to keep the family home, and, if they do, who gets to live in it. As mortgage rates have risen, what to do with the marital property has become an increasingly tricky subject.
      What happens to the home in divorce?
      Generally, there are three options for divorcing couples when it comes to property. The first is to sell the house and pay off whatever mortgage is left. They then divide any equity. This money is used to put a deposit down on a new house or to rent a property.
      The second option is to keep the family home and the mortgage in both names. The couple agree to sell the property at a later date, for example when their youngest child turns 18.
      Finally, in some divorces, one party will buy out the other’s interest in the house and transfer ownership into their sole name.
      If you decide to sell the marital home, equity is apportioned according to various factors, including the borrowing capacity of each party.
      Nevertheless, being able to afford two separate properties is not always guaranteed especially in the current climate.
      If you are unable to come to an agreement with your ex-spouse about your marital property, it may be necessary for the court to step in. Although the court’s starting point will be a 50/50 split of the assets, the decision will be based on fairness, depending on the needs of each party, their future earning capacity, the wellbeing of any children.
      For those going into renting, no-fault evictions are a concern. The government has again delayed the Renters (Reform) Bill. This piece of legislation would improve security for renters as it would impose restrictions and obligations on private landlords, preventing them from evicting tenants without proof under Section 21 of the Housing Act.
      What options are there?
      The housing crisis is making property decisions increasingly difficult. Combined with the impact of the cost-of-living crisis, couples going through divorce are having to think outside the box.
      Birdnesting is one such avenue. This is where the children stay in the family home, and their parents rotate into and out of the house. Each parent will have a set amount of time in the house, dependent on the child arrangement agreement.
      However, this means that they will also need a separate living arrangement, but many turn to friends or family as a temporary solution.
      However, this is not always possible. As the housing crisis continues, we will likely see more divorcing couples coming up with creative solutions to the housing issues.
      It is important to discuss all the avenues available to you with a lawyer. When there has been full financial disclosure, negotiations can begin on what the marital pot will allow.
      Useful Links
      Property in Divorce – what you need to know
      How to financially plan for your divorce: Watch on YouTube
      Top 3 Financial Considerations
      Budgeting Solo in the Cost of Living Crisis: Watch on YouTube
      Can I afford to divorce my partner?
      Dangers of a DIY Divorce: Listen on Spotify
      Taking control of your finances on separation and beyond: Listen on Spotify More

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      in Family Law

      How to manage the Cost-of-Christmas Crisis

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      It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
      But it’s also one of the most expensive.
      The Cost of Christmas Crisis, as it has been coined, is taking its toll again this year. Recent research from easymoney has revealed that people are cutting down on their Christmas spending this year, as the cost-of-living crisis has an ongoing impact. 59% of us are looking to make cuts this year, with 55% of respondents stating that whilst they usually have an extra savings pot put aside for Christmas, they have saved less than planned.
      Financial Planner Jodie Phelps has put together some top tips on how to manage your money in the Cost of Christmas Crisis when the purse strings are tighter than ever.

      Be aware of the potential for emotional spending during the holidays. Stay mindful of your emotions and instead of using retail therapy as a coping mechanism write a list of other things you enjoy doing so when you feel yourself about to spend do the other things on your list instead (eg. take a bath, go for a run, call a friend)
      BUT, recognise the emotional challenges that may arise during the holidays and prioritise self-care; allocate budget for activities that bring you joy and contribute to your well-being
      Develop a budget that reflects your changed financial circumstances and keep track of your spending
      Create a list of people you want to buy gifts for and allocate a specific amount for each person
      Consider creative and thoughtful gifts that don’t necessarily have to be expensive (eg. photo collages, scrap books, experiences). Remember, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones and creating meaningful memories, not just about the gifts.
      If you have a large family or friend group, consider setting limits on the amount spent on gifts or participating in a Secret Santa
      Plan your holiday meals in advance and create a shopping list. This can help you avoid last-minute, impulse food purchases/takeaways
      Be mindful of impulse purchases, especially when faced with holiday sales and promotions
      Look for discounts, compare prices, and consider using cashback or price-tracking tools to find the best deals
      After the holidays, review your spending and assess what worked well and what didn’t. Use this information to plan for the next holiday season.
      Make a note of your Christmas pay date when budgeting, as it’s usually earlier in December. Plan for the long stretch between Christmas pay day and January pay day
      Start saving a monthly amount for next Christmas so that next year you have money allocated for you to enjoy Christmas.

      You can find out more about Jodie on her LinkedIn.
      Relationship Tensions
      Financial tensions are a huge driver in divorce enquiries, and in a survey that we conducted, 60% of respondents said that the crisis was negatively affecting their relationship.
      If you do find that tensions around money build between you and your partner around this time of year, here are some suggestions on how to safeguard your relationship at Christmas. It’s important to remember that Christmas does not cause divorce and relationship breakdown. However, it can expose pre-existing issues, so getting to the root of the problem is very important.
      Stowe Solicitor Abi Jones has some top tips on reducing tensions around the festive season:

      Communicate – communication is central to healthy relationships and talking through your worries with your partner can help to alleviate pressure
      Lean on friends or family members outside of your relationship for support if needed
      Figure out where your priorities are, and if they are different to your partner’s
      If you have differing priorities, try to compromise and find where your middle ground lies
      Consider speaking to a financial planner or another professional – you can find our recommended partners in our Divorce Directory
      Try to focus on the positives, even if they seem insignificant. Small changes can make big differences over time
      Come up with interesting ways to celebrate this time of year together without the pressure of money
      Try to have some time together. Christmas can be a very busy time so spending time with each other is essential. It does not have to be big or expensive. It could be as simple as having a movie night together when the children are in bed.

      First Christmas After Separation
      Abi discusses how to manage your first Christmas after separation.
      It may be that this is your first Christmas after divorce or relationship breakdown. If this is the case, you may be more worried about money than you usually are as you may well have gone from a dual income household to single income. Not only this, but the routine and traditions of the day may also suddenly be different.

      Create experiences, rather than physical gifts
      Downsize your giving
      Use second-hand website such as Vinted or ebay
      Do Secret Santa instead of buying gifts for everyone
      Make home-made gifts
      Keep the celebrations small
      Don’t be tempted by payday loans, as this may cause more issues later on
      If you have young children, toy appeals may be available. Certain charities have toy appeals where individuals can donate toys which are then distributed between families
      Try not to compare your Christmas to others, either of your past or other people’s
      Manage the expectations of any children – let them know that change is normal but ensure they are informed of what changes, scheduling, what will be happening, where and when.

      Remember that Christmas is one day. There is a great deal of pressure for Christmas Day to be perfect, but it is just one day in the year.
      Think about how you want to spend your Christmas. Would you like to spend it with a friend, with family or even alone. This is an opportunity to make new traditions.
      Lastly, Christmas does not necessarily have to take place on 25th December. If this is the first year you do not have the children after going through a divorce or separation you can always pause your Christmas until the day after or have it before.
      Useful Links
      Financial Wellbeing with Jodie Phelps or watch on YouTube
      Surviving Christmas after Separation
      Child arrangements at Christmas
      Christmas alone with divorce and break-up coach Claire Macklin
      Budgeting solo during a cost-of-living crisis: Listen on Spotify or Watch on YouTube
      Supporting children through divorce: Listen on Spotify More

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      in Family Law

      Changes to IVF Legislation

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      Changes to Fertility Laws
      The government recently announced an upcoming change to fertility legislation which will lessen the discrimination that same-sex female couples experience in trying to conceive via reciprocal IVF.
      At the moment, female same-sex couples who are looking to have a child via the route of reciprocal IVF – meaning one woman provides her egg and the other carries the child – are required to undergo a screening for infectious diseases, including hepatitis B, hepatitis C and rubella. This can cost up to £1000.
      However, heterosexual couples going through the same process do not need to have this screening.
      The government have now announced that this will be changed, removing the additional barrier and significant extra cost only applied to female same-sex couples.
      Furthermore, changes will be brought in for same-sex couples where one or both partners have HIV, but the viral load is undetectable. In these situations, the couple will now be able to access IVF treatment, including known sperm or egg cell donation to friends or relatives.
      Stowe Partner Gemma Davison investigates these changes in more detail.
      The options for IVF treatment have been expanded with advancements in science and technology, allowing more couples to start a family through this method. However, there are still obstacles for many in accessing this treatment, particularly for same-sex couples who have additional hurdles and cost specific to themselves to overcome. This has meant ongoing inequality between heterosexual couples and same-sex couples who want to become parents.
      The government’s announcement that the cost associated with extra tests that female same-sex couples must undergo if they wish to pursue reciprocal IVF is very welcome, and long overdue.
      The changes to laws around HIV load in same-sex couples is also welcome, and will mean that, for those individuals and couples where the viral load is undetectable, access to IVF treatment will be opened.
      These changes, when they are enacted, will work to reduce the inequality that exists between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples when it comes to accessing fertility treatment. However, they will not completely remove the barriers that exist, particularly around costs, although the government has committed to removing all the financial barriers associated with IVF/fertility treatment.
      For example, at the moment, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) guidelines suggest that women under 40 should be offered three cycles of IVF funded by the NHS if:

      They have been trying to get pregnant through regular unprotected sex for two years
      Or they have not got pregnant after 12 cycles of artificial insemination

      However, if tests show that there is no chance of naturally conceiving a baby and that IVF is the only treatment likely to result in conception, the woman should be referred immediately for IVF.
      Currently, this is guidance only and not universally adopted by integrated care boards for their local area. Essentially, then, it is a postcode lottery for treatment and again, in many cases, female same-sex couples suffer inequality and huge costs if they want to conceive through IVF.
      In the Women’s Health Strategy (August 2022), the government committed to removing all financial barriers, including the requirement for female same-sex couples to pay for 6 artificial insemination cycles privately before they are eligible for NHS funded IVF. Heterosexual couples are do not have to self-fund any treatments before being eligible for NHS IVF treatment.
      Unfortunately, we are still awaiting this change. And, until the change in fertility legislation that has been announced by the government becomes law, there are still financial and practical barriers that mean same-sex couples face inequality in their journey to parenthood.
      Hopefully, we will see more change and action soon.
      Useful Links
      Fertility Network UK
      Our Child Law Solicitors
      Surrogacy in the UK: Watch on Youtube
      Surrogacy in 2 minutes: Watch on Youtube
      Embryo Storage after Divorce More

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      in Children

      November Stowe Support roundup

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      Stowe Support is a dedicated home for Stowe’s free resources designed to help inform and support anyone with family law concerns.
      With new blogs, guides, podcasts, videos and events shared each month, here’s a handy Stowe Support roundup from the past month in case you missed anything.
      Here’s your monthly roundup of Stowe Support resources in case you missed anything.
      Latest blogs from Stowe
      Divorce finances: How DIY divorce can backfire
      What is a Financial Settlement and How Does It Work?
      Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide
      Unique Challenges of LGBTQIA+ Divorce
      I’m not the ‘breadwinner’ in my divorce
      How do separated parents split Christmas?
      Watch recent webinars
      Cardiff Break Up Club: Surviving Christmas after separation
      Stowe talks 23/24: Parenting alongside a narcissist with Dr Supriya McKenna
      Listen to Stowe talks podcasts on Spotify

      Stowe Support
      To explore our full range of resources dedicated to helping people with family law matters, visit Stowe Support.
      Here you’ll find a wealth of helpful guides, videos and blogs on divorce and separation, finances, children, domestic abuse, cohabitation, alternative parenting, mediation, as well as support with relationships and wellness. More

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      in Children

      How do separated parents split Christmas?

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      Christmas arrangements for separated parents can be complex as you navigate how to split Christmas so you can both see your children. The usual plans of Christmases past may no longer be an option, and there’s no blueprint for what the holidays should look like now, or how you make them fair.
      There’s a lot to consider. How will the children spend time with each parent? Do divorced parents spend Christmas together? And if not, how do coparents split Christmas?
      Before you make a decision
      The guiding principle of family law is that children’s well being comes first. Neither parent has more right to see their child at Christmas. The benefit of this is that you and your coparent are free to create a plan that’s centred on your children and their needs.
      How do separated parents split Christmas?
      Unless you continue to spend Christmas together, there will need to be some compromise about how you divide your time with your kids. Here are some common options.
      What are my options for splitting Christmas with my ex?
      So, how do you split Christmas when divorced? You and your ex can create a plan that best suits your exact situation, but it’s useful to have a starting point for discussions. Here are some examples:
      Option 1: Split Christmas in half
      Children get to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one parent, before swapping over to spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with the other.
      Depending on when Christmas day lands you might try to align this with your children’s usual routine with each parent. Or you could agree to make an exception and then revert back to your usual routine after the festivities.
      Option 2: Take a week each
      Children get to spend the first week of the school holidays with one parent to celebrate Christmas, and the second week with the other parents over New Year.
      If school holidays stretch over 3 weeks, you could divide the key days and split the rest of the time equally between you.
      Option 3: Have two Christmases
      Children get to celebrate Christmas twice; once on Christmas Day with one parent, and once on a designated day before or after the 25th December with the other.
      While appealing as a solution, it doesn’t altogether remove the question of who gets to spend the real Christmas Day with the children.
      Each of these options can be alternated yearly, on rotation.
      It’s a useful test to ask yourself if you’d be happy with the plans you’re proposing.
      Spending Christmas day with your ex
      Spending Christmas Day together with your children and your ex, is a great option if you’re on good terms and means you don’t have to divide the day up.
      For separated couples who remain friends, Christmas can be a good opportunity to show that you’re still united as parents.
      Before you make the decision, ask yourself if it will create a healthy dynamic on the day for your children and consider whether it risks confusing matters.
      If you and your ex live far apart
      If you and your ex live far apart, splitting Christmas in half would mean your children spending a proportion of their Christmas Day travelling. Be sure your plan is genuinely prioritising them.
      Avoiding Christmas alone
      Celebrating Christmas alone isn’t for everyone, so try to ensure that your plan allows enough time for you or your ex to travel to stay with family or friends whilst not with your children.
      How about new partners?
      Handling Christmas with a blended family comes with additional challenges. There may be differing opinions about whether the children should spend Christmas with a parent and their new partner.
      It’s understandable that this situation can stir strong emotions; after all the new partner may get to spend Christmas Day with your children, when you don’t.
      However hard it is, prioritising the children’s needs is crucial. It’s wise to approach things as you’d want them to be approached.
      Introducing a new partner to children at Christmas isn’t ideal, so collaborating on how and when to introduce any new partners to the children is also essential.
      Seeing the wider family
      Christmas is often a time for seeing loved ones, such as Grandparents. Try to arrange time for your children to see your wider family during the time they spend with you.
      Should separated parents buy joint gifts for their children?
      Splitting costs and continuing to buy your children presents ‘from Mum and Dad’ can send a message that they remain central in your lives even though you’re no longer together.
      Joint present giving is an especially good idea if you will be spending Christmas day altogether. It also helps to avoid competitive gift giving or one parent trying to win favour with lavish presents.
      Agree an overall budget that’s manageable for you both, and the gifts you plan to buy each child. You can also divide the task of buying gifts so that things are equal.
      There is the risk that one parent also buys a separate gift ‘just from them’ so be clear about whether this is part of your agreement or not.
      Put the plan in writing
      Once you and your coparent have reached an agreement, it is a good idea to write it down and send to the other parents via message or email. That way if there are any issues, and misunderstandings, they can be resolved before Christmas.
      Stick to the plan
      It’s vital that you stick to the Christmas arrangements made so that everyone knows what to expect, including the children. This will encourage ongoing cooperation for future Christmases and special occasions.
      Strained relations
      You and your ex have been through a lot. It’s understandable that discussions might be difficult, especially if you’re not on good terms or your partner isn’t concerned with keeping things fair.
      Remember, you can’t control how your former-partner reacts, you can only control your own words and actions.
      During negotiations, communicate with your coparent in person where possible, or speak on a video call or over the phone, where discussions are less likely to be misinterpreted.
      What if we can’t reach an agreement about Christmas?
      If you reach a stalemate making plans for Christmas with your ex, you can take advice from a family lawyer or family mediator who can help you try to find some common ground.
      As a last resort when cooperation is just not possible, you can seek a decision from the family court via a court order called a specific issues order with the help of a specialist family lawyer.
      Splitting Christmas after divorce
      Dealing with Christmas after separation is difficult. Successfully setting aside your differences and reaching an agreement with your ex on how best to guide your family through the celebrations is something you should be proud of.
      Equally, things might not be perfect. And that’s okay too. With ongoing collaboration between you and your ex-partner, you can learn and adjust.
      Get in touch
      If you and your ex-partner can’t agree on how to split time with your children over Christmas, you can contact out family law team to discuss your options.
      Useful links
      Making arrangements for children this Christmas
      Surviving your first Christmas after separation
      Surviving Christmas after separation
      Stowe talks – dealing with conflict about Christmas More

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      in Children

      Introducing Stowe talks podcast series 4

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      Stowe talks podcast
      Series 4 of Stowe talks podcast and videos series has begun. 
      As ever, in each episode hosts Liza and Matt are joined by a special guest to explore a specific topic in detail.
      Alongside our expert guests, in Stowe talks series 4 we explore:

      Parenting alongside a narcissist
      The dangers of DIY divorce
      How to prepare for your financial settlement
      Supporting teenagers through divorce
      Prenups, postnups and petnups
      The unique challenges of a relationship break down in the LGBTQIA+ community
      Creating financial wellbeing following separation
      Supporting male victims of domestic abuse
      Building your family through surrogacy.

      The latest episodes
      Series 4 of Stowe talks begins with ‘Parenting alongside a narcissist’, a 2-part conversation with renowned narcissist expert Dr Supriya McKenna.
      Building on our previous episodes, in part one Dr Supriya starts by explaining what narcissistic personality disorder is and how this manifests in their behaviour, especially during divorce and parenting.
      We then continue the conversation in part two, looking at learning to manage the narcissist behaviour, how to best support your children, dealing with legal and financial abuse, the family court, and learning how to raise the threshold of what triggers you.
      Quick links
      Listen to Stowe talks on spotify
      Watch Stow talks on YouTube More

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      in Children

      Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide

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      On average, marriages in England and Wales last little over 12 years at the time of divorce. But as people find love again after divorce or separation, blended families are created and family dynamics evolve.
      It’s now estimated that 1 in 3 families in the UK are a blended family, also known as stepfamily.
      In fact, in contrast to traditional stepfamily stereotypes, the narrative of blended families has transformed – even King Charles III is a member of a blended family.
      For many couples, divorce can mark the beginning of a happier new era for them and their children.
      Knowing how to make a blended family work can take time and effort but fuelled by love, the choices made by separated parents can transform a family structure.
      What is a blended family?
      Blended families are created when a couple begin a new life together with their children from one, or both, of their previous relationships.
      What’s behind the increase in blended families?
      Divorce rates are on the rise meaning more people starting new relationships are divorced, with children.
      For example, the latest ONS marriage statistics released in 2022 show that over 32% of marriages include at least one partner who is remarrying. Of course, these figures can’t track the number of couples where one or both partners have previously been in an unmarried relationship.
      Still, it’s understood there are at least 1.1 million children in England and Wales who live in a blended stepfamily.
      Becoming a blended family
      While a positive experience for many, often the most significant concerns when forming a blended family are the integration of new family members and changes to living arrangements.
      Or, perhaps it’s more the reactions of each family member to these inevitable changes, and the emotions they bring, that pose the greatest challenges.
      While parents can appreciate the benefits of becoming a blended family and visualise what their stepfamily homelife could look like in the future, the children may struggle to share that vision. For them it can feel like a huge amount of change, affecting fundamental aspects of their lives, over which they have no control.
      As with any changes, some will take them in their stride, and others will need a greater degree of support and encouragement.
      Introducing a new partner
      Gradually making children aware of a new partner and giving plenty of notice when and how things will change is vital.
      This begins with establishing the right time and approach for introducing a new partner to children, and meeting future stepchildren if their partner also has children.
      Whatever the child’s age, it’s a good idea to prepare them ahead of introductions and offer them a sense of control over the situation. Having some level of control, even if only perceived control, allows us to deal with potentially upsetting or uncomfortable events more effectively.
      Challenges for children of blended families
      There’s a lot for children of blended families to take in. Maybe they’ve come to terms with their parent’s separation, and now there’s more change on the horizon.
      They must navigate the complexities of having stepparents, possibly step-siblings, and even step-grandparents, potentially forging multiple new relationships.
      Sharing loved ones, a home, and belongings with new members of the family can understandably raise worries and negative feelings and behaviour.
      Furthermore, the shift in family roles and responsibilities can become a source of tension, with two sets of parents each with different parenting styles, rules, and routines.
      Harmonising these differences and treating everyone fairly isn’t easy.
      How can I help my blended family succeed?

      Groundwork: It’s beneficial to do plenty of groundwork ahead of any changes to your family to help children process and adapt. Take your time and explain things clearly and openly.
      Communication: Telling children about changes in their living arrangements is a crucial step. Be upfront about what will change and when, and encourage children to ask questions and share any concerns.
      Tact: Handling the integration of new family members and routines delicately and with patience will help avoid unnecessary stress.
      Togetherness: Fostering a sense of unity within blended families can help, through identifying common ground, enjoying shared activities, and establishing new traditions when the time is right.
      Age appropriate: While younger children may adapt more readily, older children and teenagers may find the changes more difficult. Recognising these differences will help you provide the right support for each child’s needs.
      Belonging: Reassuring the child of their central place in the blended family will strengthen relationships and bolster their sense of belonging.
      Regularly connect: Ensure you also give your child one-on-one time where they have your undivided attention to reinforce how much you love and value them. Where it’s safe and appropriate, maintaining a sound connection with the non-residential parent is also important for a child’s well-being.
      Be consistent: Within reason, upholding pre-existing rules and traditions while gradually incorporating new ones helps create a stable environment. This steadiness offers children a sense of security during change.

      Legal considerations for blended families
      When couples create a blended family after separation or divorce it’s worth considering how they can protect their interests for whatever lies ahead.
      Couples who live together but are unmarried may be interested in finding out more about how Cohabitation Agreements can set out agreements regarding finances and children.
      Similarly, couples who are planning to remarry, might benefit from knowing how a prenuptial agreement can offer some financial protection for theirs and their children’s future in the event of divorce.
      With the right approach blended families offer the opportunity for a new beginning and a bigger and more diverse family network. Although evolving family structures demand flexibility, understanding, and effective communication, the rewards could last a lifetime.
      Useful links
      How to successfully co-parent
      Adopting a stepchild
      Stowe talks – How to co-parent calmly and navigate the challenges of blended families with Tom Nash More