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    Law Commission publishes scoping report on financial remedies

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    The Law Commission has published a scoping report dealing with financial remedies on divorce and dissolution on 18 December 2024.  This report has been prepared to ascertain whether the current law provides a coercive-enough framework for couples going through divorce or dissolution, to identify problems with the current law, and to suggest models for which reform could be based on.  It is important to note that the Law Commission is clear that they are not recommending a reform for the law itself within the report.
    Judit Kerese, Associate at Stowe Family Law, explores the report.
    The law that governs financial remedies on divorce is the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.  The court has a wide discretion to decide how Orders should be made.  Whilst Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act sets out the list of factors that the court would consider when deciding on finances, these are interpreted subjectively by legal practitioners and judges. Another issue is that there is a lack of definition for the purpose or objective of the statute itself.  Whilst published case law helps in understanding how the statute is to be interpreted, for example setting out that there is an equal sharing as a starting point, there is no definition of what fairness or what needs are.
    The main issue identified by the report is that the wide discretion and uncertainty around the law makes it difficult for divorcing couples to understand what a fair settlement would look like, and the court’s level of discretion encourages a disagreement.  Given that each individual situation is interpreted subjectively, people can be given different advice about expectation of an outcome.  This is even more problematic for those that cannot afford legal advice.  The report is concerned that this level of uncertainty is promoting dispute rather than settlement.
    Read about the importance of a financial settlement.
    The report sets out recommendations for four models which law reform could be based on:

    Codification which brings settled case law principles into statutory form, and whilst the substance of law would not be reformed, it would be presented within a coercive framework.
    Codification plus would bring the above-mentioned codification in addition to some reform of the law.
    Guided discretion would require that legislation is set out as to how discretion can be exercised and it would provide a similar framework as to what some other countries already exercise.
    Default regime would set out a new set of rules to dictate a high level of certainty, retaining the possible use of some limited discretion, this is widely used in some European jurisdictions whereby a number of pillars deal with each aspect of the finances on divorce.

    The scoping report and its recommendations are widely welcomed in the family law community.  The report is a helpful summary of the issues we face day-to-day.  Whilst it is important to remember that no two cases are ever the same, having a framework in which parties can expect a fair outcome would be helpful to provide a level of certainty.  Suggestions of further definitions such as setting out what ‘needs’ are also welcomed as parties often have very differing expectations of what they can expect to receive to ensure that their capital and income needs are met.
    The Law Commission’s report also touches on other areas of family law that could be considered for reform.  For example, the Law Commission previously recommended in their 2014 report that there should be an option for marrying couples to have a “Qualifying Nuptial Agreement” in place.  Currently, Pre and Post Nuptial Agreements are not legally binding, however they will be recognised by the court and have a decisive weight as long as they are prepared the right way.  This is another example of how the law currently does not provide certainty even when parties have the intention for an agreement to be binding.

    Another area of reform recommended is how conduct is considered in financial cases.  As the law currently stands, conduct is only considered in very few cases where the conduct is such that it would be inequitable to disregard. It is difficult for conduct to reach this threshold even when there is ongoing serious domestic abuse present in a relationship as it is often difficult to prove that it is “gross and obvious” in the current interpretation.  The Law Commission recommends that there should be a review of how conduct is considered and that there should be a greater recognition of domestic abuse itself as conduct.  Case law could clarify what forms of behaviour would be considered as contact conduct, the impact that it would have on a financial claim and a process used when making allegations of conduct.
    Finally, there is also recommendations within the report for there to be clarity around pensions.  The report states that 24% of divorcing couples did not know if their spouse even had a private pension, let alone about the value of the same.  Statistically, women are less likely than men to know if their spouse had a pension and men tend to have greater pension provisions.  Whilst the court can make Orders dividing people’s pensions, only 11% of divorcing couples had pension sharing arrangements in place.  The report expressed concerns over the fact that even if there is pension offsetting, this may leave the financially weaker party in an unfair situation as their long-term financial wellbeing is potentially ignored in favour of ensuring that their immediate needs are met.

    Overall, the recommendations of the report are welcomed and it is hoped that the government will consider this with an interim response shortly as well as with a full response in due course.  It is hoped that if there was a framework in place, couples could go through divorce more amicably ensuring that they are fully aware of what a  fair outcome in a case would be.  It is apparent that certain areas such as Nuptial Agreements are due for reform considering that the previous report with recommendations was published 10 years ago.  We have seen a significant increase in a number of Pre and Post Nuptial Agreements prepared and it is therefore evident that many couples entering into marriages and civil partnerships wish to have their intentions around financial matters recorded in a legally binding way.

    Useful links
    Prenups, petnups and postnups: a pragmatic approach to marriage
    New report calls for fairer outcomes for victims of domestic abuse in financial remedy proceedings

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      Co-parenting at Christmas: Tips for a peaceful holiday season

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      Co-parenting at Christmas often means juggling chaos, compromise, and creative scheduling, all with the added pressure to keep the peace and make the holidays special. Here are our tips for the weeks ahead.
      From working out holiday plans together and navigating more frequent interactions with your ex, to involving new partners and maintaining ties with your former in-laws, the festive season can feel like a tricky balancing act.
      While it’s natural to feel some stress, a little planning, flexibility, and a positive approach can go a long way in creating a Christmas that works well for everyone, especially the children.
      Putting the children first
      We can all agree, Christmas is about the children, and it’s essential to keep their needs and happiness at the forefront of your plans. Whether this is your first Christmas after divorce, or you’ve had a few years to get used to things, to make the season easier for them there are a few simple steps you can take.
      Agree on a shared plan
      Work together with your ex to ensure the children can enjoy time with both of you without feeling rushed or pulled between two homes. Having a clear and joint plan not only helps avoid confusion and conflict for co-parents, but for children too who can feel prepared and safe in the knowledge they’ll get time with both parents. This might mean splitting the day between both homes or agreeing on specific days for things like Christmas dinner or gift exchanges. Read more about dividing Christmas with your ex.
      Balance traditions with flexibility
      If you have cherished family traditions, it’s understandable that you’ll want to keep them going, but a little flexibility can go a long way. Discuss the traditions most important to you with your co-parent and agree a realistic way to divide them. The key is to avoid putting pressure on the kids to “choose” one tradition or family over the other, ensuring that they have special moments with both sides of the family.
      Reinvent your Christmas
      Christmas is the perfect time to start new traditions. Forget about the rule book and focus on the things that will truly bring your family joy. Whether it’s replacing turkey with your favourite foods on Christmas day or creating fresh ways to celebrate with the people who matter to you most now, these changes can redefine the holidays so they reflect your family as it is now.

      Managing more time with your ex
      Spending extra time with your ex during the holiday season can be unavoidable but no less challenging, especially if your relationship is still difficult. Focusing on common parenting goals can help keep things civil and make co-parenting at Christmas a little easier.

      Focus on the children’s needs
      When communication is focused on the well-being of your children, it’s easier to prevent conversations from slipping into old patterns and disputes. If it helps, keep things business-like and to the point. Keep things on track by agreeing on specific times to discuss important matters. Confirm the plans you’ve made in a message or email is a good way to check you’re on the same page and prevent future misunderstandings.
      Set boundaries
      While spending time with your ex over Christmas might be on the cards, you don’t have to be best friends. Setting clear and respectful boundaries can help keep things positive and productive. Give yourself a set time to leave so you’re in control of the situation, and if needed, stay in the same room but keep some physical space. Focus your conversations on the present and the needs of the children, avoiding any past issues that could cause tension.
      Remember the bigger picture
      Even if you’re feeling frustrated, reminding yourself that your children will benefit from their parents’ cooperation can make these moments feel more manageable.
      Including new partners
      The arrival of a new partner in your life can bring both excitement and a few challenges, especially when it comes to family holidays. Whether it’s you with the new partner or your ex, this change can stir up a mix of emotions and make things feel a little uncertain.
      Communicate early
      If you’re planning to have your new partner involved in any holiday activities, it’s best to have an open and honest conversation with your ex in advance. Talk about how you plan to spend the day and ensure that your ex is comfortable with the arrangement.
      Be mindful of the children
      Children may need time to adjust to your new partner, especially if the relationship is still new. Keep an eye on how the kids are handling the situation and give them space to process these changes. The key is not to force interactions but to allow things to evolve naturally.
      Respect boundaries
      Whether it’s you or your ex with a new partner, respecting each other’s relationships is important, even if it’s challenging. You get to decide how much or how little you want to interact with your ex’s new partner, all while keeping things calm and positive for your children.
      Navigating the Conversation: Telling Your Children About Your New Partner After Divorce

      Spending time with ex-in-laws
      Another challenge during the holidays for separated parents is seeing their former in-laws. There’s often a lot of history involved, and you will likely see less of them now you’ve separated.  Whether you’re spending time with them out of tradition, for the sake of the children, or simply because you still get along, it can be a delicate balance.
      Respect their role in your children’s lives
      Your ex-in-laws are still important figures in your children’s lives, and it’s often in their best interests for you to maintain a relationship with them. If possible, encourage your children to spend time with their grandparents or other important relatives on your ex’s side of the family.
      Keep things civil
      Even if you and your ex’s family aren’t as close as you once were, it’s worthwhile remaining civil. After all, the holiday season is a time for harmony, and increasing tensions won’t help anyone. Remember, you’re there for the kids and their happiness, not for any personal vendettas.
      Set boundaries as needed
      If spending time with ex-in-laws feels emotionally difficult, be honest with yourself and them. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation to join your in-laws if you feel it would be too stressful.
      Could Parallel Parenting be right for you and your co-parent?
      For some co-parents, limiting interaction or sticking rigidly to tried and tested arrangements is the only way to keep things calm and manageable. When past tensions or difficult dynamics make communication challenging or impossible, it’s perfectly okay to set boundaries that reduce contact whilst still allowing children to see each parent.
      Read more about parallel parenting, a co-parenting approach often recommended after high conflict divorce.
      Useful links
      Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide

      How to embrace being single at Christmas More

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      in Family Law

      What does the Autumn Budget mean for Family Law?

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      Labour’s first budget in 14 years was delivered on 30th October 2024, bringing in significant changes for tax particularly. But what does this mean for family law, and people going through divorce and relationship breakdown?
      Capital Gains Tax 
      One of the biggest changes for couples going through divorce is the increase to Capital Gains Tax (CGT). From the end of October 2024, the tax rates will have increased from 10%-18% for basic rates taxpayers, and 20-24% for the higher rate taxpayer.
      This significant rise is likely to impact a wide spectrum of couples who have assets where CGT will be applied upon sale. For example, couples with investment properties, second homes, stocks outside Isas and even collections of jewellery or artwork will be affected.
      The increased rate will mean any assets sold as part of the financial agreement will be subject to more tax. This reduces the overall profit from sale, shrinking the matrimonial pot and therefore how much is available to share between the separating couple.
      Where couples are amid their financial negotiations, it is best to seek expert legal and financial advice to fully understand the effect that this change might have, and where adjustments might need to be made before making a final settlement.
      If the ex-couple has finalised their financial consent order and it has been approved by the court, unfortunately the agreements made within this settlement will be legally binding. Once a financial order is made by the court, it is extremely difficult for it to be amended, so the ex-couple may be faced with less income from yet-to-be sold assets.
      If you are already divorced, with a financial settlement in place, you may be able to make an informal agreement with your ex-spouse based on the updated income you are likely to get from CGT-applied assets. However, your legal arrangement will still stand. If you have concerns, please contact an expert financial adviser.

      Inheritance Tax
      In the weeks leading up to the Budget, the media reported a number of expected changes around inheritance tax. However, the Chancellor announced that inheritance tax rates would continue to be frozen for the next two years.
      Although this does mean no change yet to lower the nil-band rate, the further freeze will mean that an increasing number of people will be subject to greater tax liability as the value of assets increases over time. This therefore means their beneficiary receives less in the way of inheritance.
      Please speak to an expert financial adviser
      Private School VAT
      From January 2025, the VAT exemption currently applied to private schools in England and Wales will be removed, meaning some schools may have to increase their fees. This could well have a direct impact on divorced couples, and those currently negotiating settlements. Where private schools feature, fees should always be included as part of a settlement. However, if these fees rise by 20% because of the removal of the VAT exemption, further negotiation may be required.
      It is important to note that if the rise in school fees means there is not enough money to share between the separating couple, a judge is likely to require that the children be moved out of private education.
      Parents who have sealed agreements will be bound to these, although it may be possible to make an informal arrangement and ask the non-paying parent for more money. Where this is refused or impossible, children may need to be moved into state education.
      Conclusion
      If you are currently going through divorce, please seek expert legal and financial advice to understand the potential impact of the autumn budget on your negotiations.
      If you struggle to make progress in discussions with your ex, mediation and other non-court resolution methods can be very helpful. Talk to an expert family lawyer about your suitable options.
      Useful Links
      How to protect your money during divorce
      Private school fees after divorce
      Do I need a financial settlement?

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      Cuffing Season – Should I have a post-divorce festive fling?

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      In the era of social media, and the Tik Tok generation, a lot of interesting terminology has come to the fore, particularly around relationships. ‘Cuffing Season’ gained traction in the mid-2010s and is coming back into use.
      The term is related to being ‘cuffed’ or tied down. It refers to the autumn and winter seasons where single people choose to have a short fling so they can have companionship for the colder months. Once 15th February (the day after Valentine’s Day) rolls around, it’s time to move on and the brief relationship comes to an end. If you’re divorced, this might seem tempting, but there are some things to be aware of before you get whisked away.
      We’ve all seen the movies where the single asks their best friend (or a complete stranger!) to pretend to be their partner for Christmas, or Valentine’s Day. Hollywood would have us believe that it is inevitable that the protagonist and their ‘holi-date’ fall in love. However, this is not always reality, and cuffing season can have its downsides, especially when you’ve been through divorce or a breakup.
      The Emotional Side
      If you have recently gone through divorce or a breakup of a relationship, you’re likely to be feeling a range of different emotions. Loneliness and fear of being alone after an important relationship can be a motivation for seeking out a short-term relationship and someone to spend the colder months with. There is a romanticism attached to the winter and festive season, and if you’re recently single you may feel this all the more strongly.
      However, a relationship purely for the sake of it is unlikely to make you happy in the long run.
      Dating after divorce can be a great way to move forward with your life and rebuild your self-confidence. There might even be a sense of control over the experience as you know there is a definite end point, and you don’t have to get too serious!
      But it can also be problematic. Even though it can be fun, you might still experience anxiety about a fling or get more invested than you planned to. You might end up feeling more pressure and stress than you did in being single and wanting a relationship.
      A divorce coach can help you navigate the emotional complexities of a breakup, with a view for the future and potentially dating again. We have a number of partner divorce coaches who will help you build your goals and plan what you want out of the next stage of your life. If you want to start dating again, but don’t know where to begin, a dating coach is a great place to start.

      The Legal Side
      Finances
      If you are divorced, and you’ve received your final order, you are legally no longer tied to your ex-spouse. You are free to date whoever you want, and to get married again if you wish. If you are going through the divorce process but have not yet been granted your final order, you cannot legally remarry, but you can date.
      However, if you have not got a financial consent order which legally severs your financial ties with your ex, you may need to be more careful. Even if you are divorced, your ex can still bring financial claims if you do not have a financial consent order granted by the court. This means if you receive any significant gifts, finances, or even move in with a new partner, your partner could ask you for a share.
      Equally, if you are in the midst of negotiating your financial settlement, moving in with a new partner may mean that their finances and assets are taken into account in your settlement. This can make you artificially wealthier than you are in reality, and you may end up paying more to your ex.
      Living with a new partner can cause complexities when it comes to the laws around cohabitation. Cohabitees are not viewed in the same way as married couples under English and Welsh law, and you have very few rights if you break up.
      Children
      Children are often at the heart of divorce disputes. Where parents can agree amicably, an informal parenting plan can be put in place, agreed together. If this is not possible, the court may make a legally binding child arrangements order which parents must abide by.
      In many such agreements, whether formal or informal, there can be an arrangement on introducing children to new partners. This may be that you have to wait a certain amount of time after you first start dating, or your new partner must be introduced to your ex before they meet your children.
      If you get into a short-term relationship, especially if you know there is an end date already in place, this can be difficult to navigate where children are concerned. Introducing a new partner for a brief amount of time can be confusing and upsetting for children and it is important that you manage the situation carefully. You may find it easier to not bring the new partner into their lives at all!
      How can a lawyer help?
      An expert family lawyer can advise you on the ins and outs of a new partner. If you are negotiating your financial settlement, they can give guidance on what to do to ensure the settlement is correct and fair. They can advise on best practise when it comes to child arrangements, too.
      Family lawyers are there to facilitate mediation or other non-court dispute resolution methods, so you can work matters out smoothly with your ex. Some of our lawyers at Stowe are also trained mediators.
      Seek expert advice if you’re unsure on the legalities of a new relationship, particularly if you decide to move in with a new partner as there are a number of considerations to be aware of with cohabitation.
      Useful Links
      Dealing with divorce regret
      Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide

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      New report calls for fairer outcomes for victims of domestic abuse in financial remedy proceedings

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      Resolution has recently released a new report offering insight into the interplay of domestic abuse and financial settlements in divorce, making recommendations for better protection for victim-survivors.
      Resolution is an organisation made up of family justice professionals who work with families and individuals to resolve disputes and issues around familial breakdown in a constructive way.
      The report calls for a cultural shift in the family justice system to better meet the needs of victim-survivors of domestic abuse, particularly when they are seeking financial resolutions upon divorce. The organisation conducted a survey of 500 family justice professionals, where 80% of respondents felt domestic abuse as not sufficiently considered by the court when deciding financial outcomes in divorce.
      Resolution have made a number of recommendations to help improve the experience of domestic-abuse victim survivors going through financial proceedings and reduce the long-term financial and emotional impact of divorce.
      There has also been discussion around the amount of ongoing abuse that occurs from the point a couple separates until the Court makes orders, particularly where perpetrators use the system to abuse their ex-partner further, economically, and emotionally.
      Judit Kerese, an Associate at Stowe Family Law, responds to the recommendations made by Resolution.
      The report has been a long-overdue insight into a system that currently is failing victim-survivors of domestic abuse. It is clear that family law professionals are aware of the desperate need for change. The recommendations, therefore, are welcome.
      It is all too common for perpetrators of domestic abuse to be in a position where they can assert financial control over their victim and continue to behave in a way that will either lead to victims not pursuing what they are entitled to upon separation, or simply having to be subjected to ongoing bad behaviour.
      One of the most significant recommendations is to amend the overriding objective of Part 1 of the Family Procedure Rules 2010 to mean that dealing with a case ‘justly’ means to ‘ensure the parties are safeguarded from domestic abuse’. Many victims of domestic abuse suffer from financial abuse in the short term, and often return to their abuser due to fear of financial stability. Ensuring parties are protected throughout proceedings will hopefully minimise cases of this.
      Further, the recommendation of amendments to the Financial Remedies Court Efficiency Statements to include specific reference to the need to ensure that financial proceedings are not used by perpetrators to facilitate domestic abuse, is a welcome change. There should be robust measures in place to prevent such behaviour, and ensure, as with changes to the overriding objective that victim-survivors are safeguarded.
      However, there is still a way to go, and some recommendations need more attention. For example, increasing legal aid rates to help legal aid providers be sufficiently funded to act for victim-survivors. Although legal aid funding is limited, this could add additional pressure to domestic abuse victims, many of whom are not able to meet the payments already required. This may result in victims feeling trapped with their abuser due to financial worries.
      The Government’s response remains to be seen. With a recent change in Government, and focuses shifting, it may be a while before we see real change in this area, despite the urgent need and renewed calls. I hope there will be implementation of Resolution’s recommendations before long, to offer proper justice to domestic abuse survivors.
      If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call the police on 999 or phone the Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247
      Please note that Stowe Family Law cannot offer Legal Aid.

      Useful Links
      Economic abuse in financial remedy proceedings
      Read the full Resolution report

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      Property and divorce – Mesher Orders and Martin Orders

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      Dividing matrimonial assets after divorce is difficult at the best of times, but what options are there when there’s not enough money for both parties to rehouse independently Mesher and Martin Orders are legal tools used in divorce and civil partnership dissolution financial settlements to manage home ownership and sales, helping to adjust finances when dividing matrimonial assets.

      They each address situations where there isn’t enough money available for both spouses to rehouse themselves by deferring the ‘clean break’ element of a divorce financial settlement and allowing one party to remain in a property whilst the other retains their interest in it.
      Because the parties retain their interest in the property even after their marriage has ended, both orders are complex and typically suitable only in specific circumstances.
      Here we explain the differences between the two orders and the scenarios in which they may be used.

      What is a Mesher Order?
      A Mesher Order allows for a delay to the sale of a property for a finite period of time, or until a specified event occurs in relation to the children of the family, enabling one party and children to continue living there.
      Importantly, under a Mesher Order, the home remains jointly owned by the former spouses, even after the divorce has been finalised. Each partner has a defined share, and it is possible for both parties to continue to be responsible for mortgage payments, maintenance, and insurance.
      Mesher Orders are often used when one partner wants to stay in the family home with the children of the family, but they don’t have the financial means to take over the mortgage alone or rehouse themselves in any other way.
      The ‘triggers’ for a sale will often include specified events such as:

      The couple’s youngest child turning 18
      The youngest child completing secondary education
      The resident partner remarries
      The death of the resident partner.

      At this point, the order will trigger the sale of the property, and the proceeds will be split between partners according to the agreed shares within the divorce financial settlement.
      What is a Martin Order?
      A Martin Order similarly allows for a delay to the sale of a property but enables one partner to have the right to live in the property for their lifetime or until they remarry.
      Unlike Mesher Orders, a Martin Order is not dependent on the age of children, so these orders are typically used to settle the division of assets of divorcing couples without dependent children.
      Martin Orders are appropriate when one partner would be unable to rehouse themselves if the marital home were sold. It must also be established that the other partner has the financial means to meet their housing needs, has other properties that provide sufficient housing or does not need the capital from selling the marital home to support themselves financially.
      Rather than being linked to the ages of a couple’s children, the trigger events that can result in the sale of a property involved in a Martin Order include:

      The resident partner re-marries
      The resident partner moves in with a new partner
      The death of the resident partner.

      Are they a good idea?
      It depends on the circumstances. Mesher and Martin Orders are often a last resort. Instead, where possible, it can be better to sever financial ties between divorcing couples to help avoid future problems when the property is sold.
      It’s crucial to get legal advice before making any decisions, as there may be other options available that would achieve a better financial outcome for you.
      Unsure how to manage property division in your divorce settlement?
      Divorce and Civil Partnership financial settlements can have a long-lasting, material impact on your life. Choosing the right path is complex and varies from couple to couple.
      Our specialist family lawyers can help you avoid pitfalls by offering an expert assessment of your divorce finances and the full range of options available, so you can move forward with increased certainty.
      More divorce finances resources
      Stowe Support – Finances
      Divorce and property: what you need to know
      What happens to the family home when I get divorced? More

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      A Beginner’s Guide to Divorce

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      The thought of divorce, and all it entails, can be overwhelming, whether you made the decision to end your marriage, or it was made for you.
      There are so many things to consider, aside from the straightforward legal process of getting divorce, including separating finances, and making child arrangements. On top of the practical elements, there is the deeply emotional side of divorce.
      For ease, we refer to marriage, divorce, and ex-spouse, but the same applies to ending a civil partnership with dissolution.
      We explore all this in depth in our How To Handbook: A Beginner’s Guide to Divorce.
      How to get divorced?
      The legal process of ending your marriage is the same for everyone, and unfortunately there is no quick way of doing it. You need to apply for divorce online (or send the form via post). You can do this as a sole applicant, or jointly. Once you have both acknowledged the application, you have a 20-week cooling-off period.
      After this, you apply for your Conditional Order (previously the Decree Nisi), which means the court approves your divorce. Once this has been granted, you have another 6 week wait until you can apply for your Final Order (previously Decree Absolute). When the family court grants this, your divorce is finalised, and your marriage is legally dissolved.
      Whilst this seems like a long time, it is a good opportunity to get all your arrangements sorted for life post-divorce. Most couples use this time to negotiate their finances and get a financial consent order drafted, to be approved by the court.
      Arranging your finances in divorce
      Money is often one of the most problematic aspects of divorce. However, whilst it can be an area of dispute, there are methods of negotiating a financial settlement amicably. For example, some couples use mediation, or another form of alternative dispute resolution.
      Our Divorce Calculator can give you an initial idea of what you might receive in a financial settlement based on the information you input. However, it is important to discuss your arrangements with a family lawyer, and a financial adviser if necessary.
      It is highly recommended that you get what is known as a financial consent order in place before you are granted a final order and your divorce is finalised. There are several risks to not doing this, including leaving yourself vulnerable to future financial claims from your ex.
      A financial consent order explains how your money, property, pensions, and other joint and personal assets will be separated after divorce. A court needs to approve the consent order, and it is important that the document is drafted by an expert family lawyer.

      Child arrangements
      Making child arrangements can be emotionally and practically taxing. It is always preferable that separating parents negotiate a parenting plan between themselves, although you can always seek legal support for this.
      If you are unable to make arrangements between yourselves, you may need a form of dispute resolution, or court intervention.
      A child arrangements order is a court order which explains the agreements made by the parents on who is responsible for the child, where they will live, and time spent with each parent. It is a legally binding order.
      Emotional wellbeing during divorce
      Divorce is rarely a walk in the park. It is important that throughout the process, and beyond, that you seek emotional support if and when you need it.
      This can be in a form to suit your needs, for example therapy or counselling, or asking for help from your GP.
      Divorce coaching is a great, and tailored, support system for those in pre-divorce stages, throughout the divorce process and afterwards. A divorce coach works alongside your legal team to provide emotional and practical help.
      You can find out more about divorce coaching, and our Stowe Family Law partner divorce coaches here.
      Most people are ‘new’ to divorce. Our Beginner’s Guide to Divorce Handbook is an in depth resource to help you get started, give insight into the various obstacles you might come across and guidance on where to find help. We cover how to choose a lawyer, the legal process of divorce, negotiating finances, child arrangements, emotional support as well as debunking divorce myths.
      Download the guide here.
      Useful Links

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      Navigating the Conversation: Telling Your Children About Your New Partner After Divorce

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      Chloe O., one of our partner divorce coaches, discusses how to tell your children about your new partner after divorce.
      Divorce can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience for parents and children alike. Amidst the changes and transitions, one delicate conversation arises: how to tell your children that you have met someone new. This pivotal discussion requires sensitivity, honesty, and a deep understanding of your children’s emotions. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this conversation with care.
      Don’t rush it
      Avoid introducing your new partner to your children right away. Remember that your children have already experienced a lot of changes in their family setup and stability is very important for them. Take time to build a strong foundation in your relationship before involving the children. It may be very exciting at first to have met someone new, but your children might still be adapting to their post-divorce family life and may require more time. If this is truly someone you intend to stay with, then waiting a few more months before introducing them won’t make a big difference. Once you do decide to take that step, respect your children’s pace in accepting your new partner. Understand that they may need time to process the news and adjust to the changes.
      Similarly, the first introduction should be kept short and informal. Take your time in expanding the amount of time the children spend with your new partner. Instead, try to use the time when they are with their other parent to focus on your love life and keep your parenting time to concentrate on the children. Steps such as your partner staying overnight when the children are at your house or going away on holidays together will need to be carefully considered and introduced only when the children have fully adapted to the new situation.
      Plan it properly
      Make sure you do things in the right order. If you are able to, the best approach would always be to speak to your ex first to align on the best approach for breaking the news. Discuss whether they want to be present when you tell the children. One of the pieces of advice I give to my clients as part of the divorce process is to establish some ground rules with regards to how new partners will be introduced. Must the relationship be of a certain duration? Does your ex get to meet the person first? How soon after the introduction will your new partner spend the night at your house or go on holidays with you and your children? If these are areas for concern, establishing a reciprocal code of conduct for these matters can help avoid conflict later on.
      As with any important conversation, you will want to make sure you consider the best time for it. This is both the best time of day/week and the best time in your child’s life. If they are going through a hard time at school for example, it may be worth waiting a few more weeks before speaking to them. In general, it is good advice to avoid discussing these topics during or immediately after significant events such holidays or birthdays. Ensure that everyone is in a calm and relaxed state of mind, free from distractions and interruptions.
      The place where you choose to have this conversation and who will be present are also important factors to consider when planning for this announcement. In general, it is best to try to keep things informal rather than set up a special occasion for the big reveal.
      Last but definitely not least, you’ll want to spend some time thinking through what exactly you want to say. Practicing with a friend can be helpful. As a Divorce Coach, I often practice role playing with clients to help them prepare answers to various possible questions or reactions from the children. In defining the words you want to use, you’ll want to consider various factors such as the children’s age, how they were affected by the divorce, how long you have been separated from their other parent, etc.

      Be honest and direct
      When discussing your new relationship, honesty is paramount. Be upfront with your children about your feelings and intentions. Use age-appropriate language and avoid hiding or sugar-coating the truth. However, refrain from divulging unnecessary details that may overwhelm or confuse them. Once again, making sure your message is fully thought through will really matter. If there is a very large age gap between you children, you may want to speak to them separately, albeit as close to each other as possible, to be able to address the specific concerns they have at their various ages.
      In the preparation phase, you will have prepared possible answers to questions and concerns your children might raise. It is absolutely acceptable to not have the answers to all their questions, and to say so! Being truthful and open is what matters most as it will make them feel comfortable with revisiting the subject later and sharing their feelings. Remember, though that you are not asking your children for permission here, you are informing them of a new situation. They will need to understand that the new relationship is a choice you have made and that it remains entirely your choice.
      Validate their feelings and reassure them
      As with the announcement of the divorce itself, your main objective is to make your children feel safe in light of this new change to their life. No matter how they react, acknowledge and validate your children’s emotions. Understand that they may experience a range of feelings, including confusion, anger, sadness, or even excitement. Encourage open communication and assure them that their feelings are valid and respected. Create a supportive environment where your children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and asking questions. Be receptive to their feedback. Address any concerns or apprehensions they may have with empathy and understanding.
      Keep in mind that a moment that you may have spent several months planning for might end up feeling anti-climactic. You may have had months to process this latest change to your family life, but your children are only at the beginning of that journey. There is a strong chance they might not say much at first and may need some time to process before they ask any questions. Once you have explained the situation to them, whether they choose to discuss it further or not, make sure you leave the door open for questions later, when they feel ready.
      Through the words you choose and the way you position the new person, focus on reassuring your children that your love for them remains unchanged. Emphasise that your new relationship does not diminish the love and bond you share with them. Offer reassurance that they will always be a priority in your life.
      Avoid pushing your new partner onto them
      One last piece of advice: try to avoid setting up your new partner as someone they are going to love. While you clearly love that person, your child may initially reject them. Avoid phrases that suggest that they are expected to love this person the same way you do. Even if you really want them to like them, you are trying to avoid placing undue pressure on your children to feel attachment to a new parental figure. They will already instinctively know that you care for this person and that you ideally want them to have a good relationship, there is no need to point it out.
      Finally, it is always recommended to be careful with your words and actions so that your children don’t feel like your new partner is in any way replacing their other parent. Stay away from terminologies such as “step-father” or “step-mother” until the children choose to use them, and no matter how serious the relationship gets, don’t make them call your new partner “Mum” or “Dad”. The objective here is to avoid pressuring them to embrace your relationship and to allow them to express their thoughts and concerns openly.
      Conclusion
      Telling your children about your new partner after divorce is a significant milestone in your journey as a family. Approach the conversation with sensitivity, honesty, and empathy. Validate your children’s feelings, reassure them of your love, and respect their pace in accepting the changes. By fostering open communication and creating a supportive environment, you can navigate this transition with care and compassion, strengthening the bond within your family along the way.
      More about Chloe
      Chloe O is a Certified Divorce Coach and conflict resolution specialist. She works with her clients to support them through the ups and downs of divorce, helping them to part ways more peacefully in order to preserve their children’s and their own wellbeing. Chloe offers a free discovery call for new clients, so don’t hesitate to get in touch if you want to discuss your specific situation and challenges.
      Useful Links
      More by Chloe O.
      Starting your divorce with the right negotiation mindset
      What to avoid doing on social media during your divorce

      Other Links
      Can my ex stop me moving away with the children?
      Separated parents choosing schools
      How to support teenagers through divorce
      Blended families and step-parents – a beginners guide

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      in Family Law

      Changes to Family Procedure Rules

      by

      From 29th April 2024 there will be changes to the Family Procedure Rules (FPR). The current rules have been in place since 2010 and are being updated to place greater expectation on courts, family practitioners and families going through breakdown to use non-court-based methods to resolve financial and children matters.
      What are the FPR?
      The Family Procedure rules govern the process and procedures used in the family court system in England and Wales. They are governed by a committee, the Family Procedure Rule Committee.
      The Rules provide practice directions – essentially how the family courts should run, the powers the Judge has, forms, documentation, etc. They standardise court procedures and practice across England and Wales.
      What are the changes?
      The FPR are being updated to include a new, wider definition of non-court dispute resolution (NCDR). Previously, this has focused on mediation, but will be extended to encompass methods such as collaborative divorce, arbitration, and private financial dispute resolutions.
      The main thing divorcing couples will need to be aware of is that they will now need to set out their views on NCDR in open correspondence, alongside a signed statement of truth. They will be asked to genuinely consider out-of-court methods.
      A failure to engage with NCDR without good reason (for example, the case involves domestic abuse), will likely have cost sanctions, and may affect who pays the litigation fees in financial dispute cases.
      Circumstances that qualified for mediation exemption will also be narrowed.
      Courts will also have the power to adjourn proceedings if the Judge feels that NCDR would be appropriate, allowing time for the couple to engage in a form of NCDR. This can now happen whether the couple agrees to it or not.
      These changes will mean a considerable cultural shift, helping couples explore ways of resolving their disputes without going to court.
      The aims are:

      Support amicable dispute resolution
      Support the wellbeing of children by keeping matters out of court
      To relieve pressure on the courts

      What options are there for non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)?
      Divorce is rarely straightforward, and no two cases are the same. Your solicitor will be able to explore your options of NCDR with you at your first consultation to see which, if any, will be appropriate in your unique case.
      Some examples of NCDR include:

      What does this mean for me going through a divorce?
      The key thing to be aware of is that you will no longer be able to simply tick a box to say that mediation is not appropriate for your case. Where NCDR is not possible, you will need to explain to the court why this is.
      Failure to engage in NCDR without a valid reason will likely come with cost sanctions.
      This is part of a wider drive by the Ministry of Justice to support families going through relationship breakdown by ensuring they are fully informed of the options available to them and supported throughout the process.
      Useful Links
      Court Fees Rising May 2024
      A Guide to Financial Dispute Resolution More