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    What do you say to a friend whose marriage is ending?

    Sometimes, when people admit that their marriage is unsustainable, for whatever reason, the reaction of family, friends, even strangers on the internet can be judgmental or pitying. However, what someone in this situation needs are words and actions of support and comfort, as well as professional and legal guidance.
    We are joined on the blog by Divorce Coach Rebecca Spittles, who explores her own experience of the initial stages of separation, and what to say to a friend whose marriage is ending.
    ‘“It’s a shame you couldn’t have just tried a bit harder…”
    Nothing hits harder when you have made the decision to leave. When will people understand that getting divorced is an absolute last resort?
    Contrary to popular belief, and in my experience both personally and professionally, no one actually wants to get divorced. Reaching the point of separation, especially when there are children in the mix, is the most gut wrenching, stomach turning, vomit-inducing feeling you could ever imagine if you’ve not been there.
    I don’t wish divorce on anyone. When I took my vows I took them for life, like my parents, my grandparents and all that surrounded me. I wanted that security and comfort that everyone seeks from marriage. Even simple things I was excited about, for example to have the same surname as my husband and then of my child. It was so, so important.
    Just imagine how it felt when I knew that no matter how hard I tried, the union I was in was not meant to be?
    My parents were amazing. On several occasions I came close to uttering the words separation and every time they would come up with some kind words and injected a bit more strength into me to keep going. Marriage isn’t easy.
    My sister was the best. Constantly encouraging me, being a sounding board but never once suggesting being apart was an option.
    The toughest part of my situation was that, in order for our relationship to be harmonious, one or both of us had to completely stifle their key personality traits. Not sustainable.
    Our opinions on every single little thing were different and it ended with one or both of us feeling sad or resentful or angry as there wasn’t space for compromise.
    Compromise. The word bandied around all the time when it comes to being in a relationship. What if compromise actually meant giving in? Taking on the view of the other person so that life could just about be normal? What if compromise was only one sided and the only way for the other person to ever be happy was to always do what they wanted?
    I made several huge changes. Gave up my brilliant job so I could be at home. Gave up financial independence and poured every penny into the joint account. I started asking to do things and to buy things and slowly I disappeared. But still there was no happiness.
    After 2 long years following the birth of our daughter I asked for a separation. The answer was ‘No’. Clearly, I ‘didn’t care about my marriage’. I did. I wanted it more than I have ever wanted anything in my life to work but I was empty. Nothing left.
    In the end, two days after New Years Eve, I left after a huge row (something I learned is never the best way to leave).
    I picked up our daughter and stepped out of the front door and I will always remember the feeling of this being ‘it’. We were completely over. I drove to my parents with a sleeping toddler, arrived and cried. I cried and cried.
    Eventually he moved out to his Mum’s temporarily so that I could come home with our daughter and work, and she could have contact with her Dad.
    I am writing this so that next time someone utters the words ‘I want to leave my husband/wife’ just listen. Ask why, not so you can tell her why they should stay but so that you can understand quite how far they have come to be able to say this out loud.
    If you’ve been through it, please, please offer comfort, what they don’t need is the gore of your breakup or divorce. There is plenty of time for that later!
    Share your emotion and empathise because you more than many truly know where they are at.
    Finally, for all of us sat with the friend who says their relationship is over, just help. They will be a wreck for a while to come, from being so strong to being a crying mess on the floor. An angry confused teenager-esque stage will rear its ugly head at some point along with bitterness and probably a fair bit of drunkenness.
    Just be there for them. They will come out the other side. They will never be the same again, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.’
    Rebecca Spittles is a Divorce Coach providing personalised emotional and practical support and coaching to help individuals navigate their divorce or separation.
     You can find out more about Rebecca on her website or via her LinkedIn. 
    Useful links
    My partner’s a good person but I’m not happy
    When ‘I do’ becomes ‘I don’t’: Navigating the path to divorce and what to do next
    What to do if you think your marriage is over

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    January Stowe Support roundup

    Stowe Support is a dedicated home for Stowe’s free resources designed to help inform and support anyone with family law concerns.
    With new blogs, guides, podcasts, videos and events shared each month, here’s a handy Stowe Support roundup from the past month in case you missed anything.
    Latest blogs from Stowe
    What is in store for family law in 2024?
    The Importance of Pensions in Divorce
    Thinking about divorce this ‘Divorce Day’?
    Navigating the path to divorce and what to do next
    Expansion of Family Court Transparency Pilot to 16 more courts
    Dissolution and Divorce – What’s the Difference?
    Navigate the Complexities of Separation and Divorce with Family Mediation
    Marriage Rates Fall Below 50% in England and Wales
    A Guide to Financial Dispute Resolution
    Platonic Co-Parenting – Can I really have a baby with my friend?
    Watch our recent webinars
    The Break-up Club: Building a new life after divorce
    Stowe talks: Making your money go further after divorce
    Listen to the latest Stowe talks podcasts on Spotify
    Stowe talks 26: The unique challenges of a relationship break down in the LGBTQIA+ community
    Stowe talks 27: Creating financial wellbeing following a divorce or separation
    Stowe talks 28: How to prepare for your financial settlement in divorce
    Watch ‘Stowe talks: How to’ guides
    Stowe talks: How to get divorced online
    Stowe talks: How to pull together information for a financial settlement
    Stowe talks: How to obtain a financial consent order
    Stowe talks: How to represent yourself in court
    Stowe Support
    To explore our full range of resources dedicated to helping people with family law matters, visit Stowe Support.
    Here you’ll find a wealth of helpful guides, videos and blogs on divorce and separation, finances, children, domestic abuse, cohabitation, alternative parenting, mediation, as well as support with relationships and wellness More

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    Marriage Rates Fall Below 50% in England and Wales

    Marriage rates fall below 50%: more calls for cohabitation reform
    New ONS statistics have revealed that marriage rates in England and Wales are continuing to fall year-on-year. For the first time since comparable records began, the percentage of people over 16 who are married or in a civil partnership has dropped below 50% to 49.4%.
    Solicitor Abi Jones examines what this means and the pressing need for cohabitation reform.
    Relationships and the way we view marriage as a nation is constantly changing but sadly our laws are failing to keep pace with modern family structures. Different types of families like blended, cohabitees and single parent families and even platonic co-parenting are over-taking marriage as more popular ways to have relationships and children.
    However, same-sex marriages have increased, and it is estimated that the number of people in these marriages in 2022 is around 167,000. This has increased dramatically from 26,000 in 2015 but marriage in general continues to decline in popularity.
    It is clear to see that there is an ever-increasing populace of couples who are not getting married or entering into a civil partnership, instead choosing to live together without any of these ‘official’ statuses in place. The ONS figures noted that the increase has reached more than a fifth of over 16s in England and Wales, from 19.7% in 2012 to 22.7% in 2022.
    These statistics from ONS have led to more and stronger calls for reform in this area as marriage rates decline but cohabitation continues to be the fastest growing family type in the UK.
    Cohabitation reform has long been discussed, and an introduction of a Cohabitation Rights Bill that aimed to establish a framework of rights and responsibilities for cohabiting couples however this still needs to take the normal course through Parliament and be subject to scrutiny and parliamentary debate before it can be formed into a law and implemented.  At the Labour Party Conference 2023, Labour MP Emily Thornberry announced Labour’s commitment to reforming cohabitation laws if they win a general election.
    Currently if a couple is cohabiting but not married or in a civil partnership, irrespective of the amount of time that they have been together, there is no entitlement to a share of the other’s wealth upon the relationship breaking down.  It does not matter how the finances were arranged within that relationship, nor does it matter how long the parties have been together. The idea of the ‘common law marriage’ is entirely mythical.
    The reality is that if a cohabiting couple separate, they will have no claim for financial support or claim to share the other party’s wealth upon the breakdown of that relationship.  These couples are often left having very limited rights upon separation and having to potentially wade through more complicated areas of law such as the Trust of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act claims.
    Until such time that there is a cohabiting rights bill and due to the lack of rights and protections afforded to unmarried couples they should consider getting advice from solicitors and potentially enter into a cohabitation agreement.
    Useful Links
    Cohabitation Client Guide
    Stowe Support resources for Cohabitation
    What rights do cohabiting couples have? Watch on Youtube or Listen on Spotify
    Taking control of your finances on separation and beyond with Lottie Kent: Listen on Spotify More

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    August Stowe Support roundup

    Stowe Support is a dedicated home for Stowe’s free resources designed to help inform and support anyone with family law concerns.
    With new blogs, guides, podcasts, videos and events shared each month, here’s a handy Stowe Support roundup from the past month in case you missed anything.
    Here’s your monthly roundup of Stowe Support resources in case you missed anything.
    Latest blogs:
    Economic abuse in financial remedy proceedings
    Tips for healing after divorce
    Britney, divorce and renegotiating prenups
    How to successfully co-parent
    Why is September a popular month for divorce?
    Book your free webinar place
    Stowe talks – Finding the unexpected joy of heartbreak with Rosie Wilby
    Stowe talks – Creating financial wellbeing following separation with Jodie Phelps
    Listen to Stowe talks podcasts on Spotify:
    Our next series of Stowe talks podcast will be launched soon.
    But you can click to catch up on previous episodes and follow us!
    Stowe Support
    To explore our full range of resources dedicated to helping people with family law matters, visit Stowe Support.
    Here you’ll find a wealth of helpful guides, videos and blogs on divorce and separation, finances, children, domestic abuse, cohabitation, alternative parenting, mediation, as well as support with relationships and wellness. More

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    Law raising age of marriage to 18 comes into force

    Newcastle-based Stowe Partner, Nicky Hunter, explains the overdue changes to marriage law in England and Wales, including the new criminal offenses and the reasons why the law has changed after almost 75 years.
    Law raising age of marriage to 18 comes into force in England and Wales
    Today marks a historic day in the safeguarding of children and young people, as the new law raising the minimum age someone can legally marry to 18 has come into force today in England and Wales, having received royal assent last April.
    The Marriage and Civil Partnership (Minimum Age) Act 2022 has finally ended the archaic law in England and Wales that has allowed children aged 16 and 17 to be married, with the consent of their parents, even though they are legally considered to be children.
    Why has the marriage law changed? 
    The Marriage Act 1949, which was in place up until today, legitimised child marriage in England and Wales. The mechanism of parental consent which existed under this law, whilst originally intended to be a safeguard against child marriage has, in reality, proved in many cases to be a vehicle for parental abuse.
    Campaigners have long argued that the existing law has allowed children between the ages of 16-18 to be coerced into marriage without their consent and against their best interests, pointing to many cases where young people have been subjected to domestic abuse, some suffering lifelong harms, as well as losing opportunities for education, employments and personal growth and independence.
    By raising the minimum legal age of marriage to 18, the UK is finally stepping out of the environment which allows parents to force their children to marry.
    The full scope of the new marriage law
    The new law has made it an offence for a person to aid, abet or encourage any child under 18 to enter into any form of marriage. Furthermore, it will make it a criminal offence for a responsible person, i.e. a parent or guardian, to fail to protect a child from entering into any form of marriage. The law applies to religious and cultural marriages, as well as those registered with the local authority.
    These offences will now be punishable by up to seven years in prison.
    This is a powerful move that will work to safeguard young people and prevent parents or guardians from abusing their positions as responsible adults and forcing children into underage marriages.
    Child marriage, a global issue
    In 2016, UNICEF and the UN population fund launched a joint initiative to tackle the problem of child marriage globally. Whilst funding has been forthcoming from the UK, the law which allowed child marriage in our own country has not been addressed until recently.
    With the implementation of the new law, Parliament is finally living up to its international obligations to stop underage marriage and remove the inconsistencies in its approach to tackling it as a global issue.
    This is a truly positive step in the right direction, and we hope to see more action taken to protect the future of young people, particularly girls, in England and Wales. However, it is important to note that the minimum age of marriage remains 16 in Scotland and Northern Ireland and in Northern Ireland parental consent is required under the age of 18, but not in Scotland. More

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    The impact of the menopause on relationships

    As our understanding about the physical, mental and emotional symptoms of the menopause and the impact on women during this time grows, the connection between the menopause and the break down of relationships becomes clearer.
    The number of UK women in the peri-menopausal or menopausal stages at any given time is estimated to be well over 3 million, a significant proportion of the population. Yet, it’s accepted that support for the multitude of physical symptoms and the considerable mental impact, and a true understanding of the menopause, is still woefully lacking.
    In a Stowe study on the impact of the menopause on marriage and relationships 76% of women felt their partner didn’t have the knowledge or resources to support them through the menopause properly.
    Furthermore, 68% of divorces involving women at this time of life were initiated by wives.
    Menopause and divorce
    Menopause is frequently cited as a reason for marriages breaking down. Rachel Roberts, Yorkshire Regional Director of Stowe Family Law, explained “We are noticing a significant increase in women in their 40s and 50s filing for divorce, citing issues caused by perimenopause as one of the reasons for their marital breakdown.”
    Our study findings supported this view, with 65% of women stating that their perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms affected their marriage/relationship.
    Loss of physical intimacy
    A reduced sex drive is a common symptom of the perimenopause or menopause. The women we spoke to listed loss of physical intimacy as the area of their relationship most impacted by the menopause. 50% of women worried that a lack of sex would lead to your relationship ending.
    Top 5 areas of a relationship most affected by the menopause:

    We lost physical intimacy
    They didn’t understand what I was going through
    We argued
    We stopped communicating
    Grew apart or fell out of love

    Mental Health
    The menopause leads to a huge amount of change, both physically and emotionally, and managing the impact on mental well-being can be difficult. Common signs include anxiety, depression, problems with memory and concentration, reduced confidence, and low mood. As the symptoms can last for some time and often begin well before the cause is identified, the impact on relationships can be gradual, and difficult to define.
    Ours study showed that 77% of women felt that per perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms affected their mental health.
    Menopause Awareness
    Perimenopause and menopause can be an incredibly over-whelming time. While society has moved on from the over-simplifying term ‘The Change’ and recognised that symptoms go way beyond hot flushes, a greater understanding and improved support is still needed.
    47% of women felt that if NHS support during the menopause was better it could have prevented their relationship from ending.
    When asked what they thought could help them and their partner most during the menopause, our study found that greater awareness, more understanding, and better support, were vital.
    Top 3 ways to help couples deal with the menopause:

    Greater awareness of the symptoms
    Better understanding from your partner
    Better support from GPs

    The impact on relationships
    Perimenopause and the menopause can be a particularly challenging time for couples and both partners can feel confused and concerned as they navigate the respective changes. Inevitably, it can highlight existing struggles, further damaging the connection between couples.
    Based on our study, it’s clear that a better understanding of the menopause and how it impacts women’s lives, and open communication between partners, can significantly help couples.
    Useful links:
    The Break Up Club – Dealing with divorce during peri/menopause Webinar More

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    5 Reasons a Nuptial Agreement may be right for you

    Nuptial Agreements are made ether before or during a marriage or civil partnership and set out how a couple’s assets and property would be split should they divorce or legally separate. Here Vicki Rawlins, Partner at our Winchester office, explains Nuptial Agreements in more detail and shares the reasons why married couples should consider getting one.


    Whilst most people have heard of a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, fewer people have heard of a Post-Nuptial Agreement. Both Agreements are similar in content and share the aim to resolve financial and practical difficulties in the event of a future separation as amicable and straightforward as possible.
    Pre-Nuptial Agreements are completed before the wedding and there is clear guidance as to the desired time between the Agreement being finalised and the wedding taking place.
    Post-Nuptial Agreements can take place at any time after the wedding and prior to any separation.
    Timing is therefore a factor to be considered to determine which Nuptial Agreement would be preferable, but one can be completed either during the engagement or marriage.


    A Nuptial Agreement is designed to determine how the couple will deal with and separate their finances in the event of a separation and / or a divorce or dissolution.
    Traditionally the Nuptial Agreement will set out how the couple wish to separate assets that one or both have brought with them to the marriage. This could for example relate to property, investments, or business interests. Consideration can however also be given to future assets that may be received or obtained during the marriage, either individually or as a couple. Examples of these could relate to an inherited gift or a property purchased together as a couple.
    Whatever terms the couple agree will form the starting point for division of assets if they do go on to separate. Whilst nothing can prevent one spouse from trying to override the terms of the Agreement, the terms of the Nuptial Agreement must then be considered, and the focus will be on that spouse to persuade the court that the terms should be changed.
    In general terms provided certain guidance has been followed by the couple when the Agreement is reached, and the terms agreed are not fundamentally unfair to one spouse, the court will seek to follow the Nuptial Agreement wherever possible. This therefore gives the couple the best available protection in the event of a separation.


    As a Nuptial Agreement will be completed when the couple are still in a relationship, it makes it much easier to focus on the practical and financial issues to be considered. Trying to resolve such matters after a separation is made much more difficult due to the emotions that both will be experiencing alongside likely major lifestyle changes such as a change of home. This is even more so if the separation has not been a mutual decision made by both spouses.
    Choosing to consider and agree these issues in advance, taking the couples’ specific aims and priorities into account, greatly increases the prospects of reaching a fair and amicable agreement.


    Terms are agreed between the couple and can be as wide or as narrow as they see fit. The Nuptial Agreement could simply deal with just one asset or could set out how the couple wish to divide all assets and income should they later separate. It is an adaptable document which will be tailored to the couples’ needs.
    Whilst it is possible to include in a Nuptial Agreement how they wish to deal with possible future events, no-one can see into the future. Something may happen which the couple had not envisaged, or they may feel differently about an event when it does then happen.
    Nuptial Agreements are flexible as they can be updated as and when the need arises, provided the couple can agree such amendments. It is common for Nuptial Agreements to include provision for review and possible updates at specific intervals, for example every 3-5 years, or upon certain events happening such as having a child. Ultimately whether such terms are included will be the couples’ decision and will form part of the negotiations.


    Nuptial Agreements will ordinarily save the couple time, money, and stress.
    If a couple separate without having had a Nuptial Agreement, negotiations will then be necessary. Various factors can make this a very difficult process. In those cases, the only option may be to begin contested court proceedings.
    In those circumstances the matter is unlikely to be resolved for at least 1-2 years, during which time the couple’s lives will often be in limbo. The costs of such negotiations, and especially court proceedings, will generally be much more expensive than the costs of a Nuptial Agreement. Finally, the emotional impact and stress that this will have on the couple is far greater than the alternative.
    Nuptial Agreements are growing in the UK and can be viewed as an option for consideration akin to financial planning advice.  Specific legal advice should be sought to consider the couples’ individual needs and priorities before entering into a Nuptial Agreement.
    Get in touch 
    If you would like any advice on Nuptial Agreements or other family law issues, please contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here.  More

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    20 Date Night Ideas For Parents

    Date nights are all about enjoying each other’s company.  In the beginning, couples are often so excited to do things together that date is just a formal excuse to see each other.  After marriage and kids, date night takes on a new meaning.  They become a chance to reconnect with just the two of you as a couple and do fun things together. They are no longer about getting to know each other as much as they are about getting to have fun together.  As a parent, it is important to set aside date nights in order to make sure you don’t lose the magic that started everything in the first place. I hope you enjoy these date night ideas for married couples.

    The Parent’s Guide To A Successful Date Night

    Kids change your marriage, that’s a fact. Most married folks know and embrace this, seeing the introduction of new life into the world as a more than valid reason to cut back on things like nights out drinking, frivolous purchases, sleeping past seven in the morning… and date night.

    You’re a parent. You love your kids. And you love your spouse.

    But don’t you miss your date nights?

    Don’t feel bad about screaming, “Yes!” right now, whether it’s inside your head or out loud in the driveway, with the windows of the minivan rolled up.

    You’re an adult. You need a little romance, some kickback time, and the company of other adults. Not only are you allowed; you’re required. Date nights are actually super important to keeping a happy marriage. A romantic evening helps recharge your batteries and fill your love tank.

    The Importance of Date Night to Parents

    Whether you have an eighteen-month-old or an eighteen-year-old, there’s always an excuse to not take a night off and spend time with your spouse. The baby has been fussy all week; I couldn’t inflict him on a babysitter. The teenager’s been acting out all week; I couldn’t possibly trust her alone in the house for a night. But let’s face it. You should prioritize yourself and your marriage. You need a healthy adult relationship, and that means protecting the sanctity of date night.

    As busy parents, it is too easy to grow apart.  You know what they say about an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  So, go ahead, have fun on a date night with your partner and don’t feel guilty about. Feel good about it!

    When To Schedule A Date Night For Parents

    Believe it or not, the time when date night feels the least possible is the best time to make it happen. If the kids are sick, work is busy, your kitchen remodel isn’t going as planned, or any other of life’s countless, unexpected bumps in the road has you thinking, “I can’t possibly afford a night off,” remember you can.

    More importantly, you need to.

    When life gets stressful, we tend to convince ourselves that everything is life-and-death, forcing our attention and energy to be consumed by even the tiniest issues in front of us. So, if you’re feeling like life’s too crazy for a break, you’re probably just too stressed out to realize that life is just being life, and a break is exactly what you need.

    Besides that sage advice, set a regular date night too.  At least once a month, everyone can and should make that happen- even married couples.

    Date Night Ideas For Married Couples

    After being married for years, it is easy to get in a rut. Take turns planning out date nights and surprise each other sometimes. Having a regular date night helps ensure that it actually happens and that you don’t let other things get in the way. Always turn off your app notifications on your cell phones for date night and ignore anything that isn’t the babysitter.

    Try Doing New Things

    Try doing new things for your date night that you have either never done before or not in years. Only you can keep things from getting stale! Step out of your lazy, comfort zone and try something new and exciting. Make new memories and enjoy a change of scenery.

    Try going to a golfing range together. Maybe one of you can lean in and teach the other a few good moves… I mean swings.

    Try visiting some tourist attraction in the area that you have never been to since you aren’t a tourist!

    Try a new restaurant or exotic cuisine.

    Get out in nature together. Go for a hike or an canoeing trip.

    Arrange to go horseback riding.

    Take a dance lesson together.

    Do a movie night at the big screen in an actual movie theater.

    Enjoy an evening stargazing.

    Try a spa day and get a couples massage.

    Picnic in the park. Enjoy an afternoon or evening lounging on the grass at your local park and tantalizing your tastebuds.

    Go on a double date. When was the last time you did that? It could be a lot of fun if it has been a long time since you have done it. You could even use a little creativity and pick a funky venue and go roller skating or bowling!

    My husband and I enjoying an evening on the back porch together.

    Date Night Ideas During Quarantine

    Don’t take this easy out too often, but date night at home may be a fun way to ease into date night ideas for married couples. Sometimes a dinner reservation might be hard get (especially during a pandemic) so there’s no rule against hiring a babysitter or using a baby monitor and staying in. Home date night ideas are a great way to enjoy some quality time to connect when you can’t get out. The important thing is make sure you two still get some alone time.

    A candlelit dinner with a glass of wine while the kids are asleep, playing with the babysitter, or watching TV upstairs can be just as romantic as an expensive Italian restaurant—not to mention cheaper, and healthier. The meal can be homemade or takeout as you both prefer and I know I prefer.

    Play board games together (like Monopoly or Trival Pursuit) and make up a few of your own rules about what happens when you land on certain squares!

    Recreate your favorite coffee or ice cream shop at home. Make a huge ice cream sundae with all the toppings together and eat it together too. Don’t forget to feed each the first and last bites! Have fun trying to recreate some fancy coffee drinks or your favorite beverage if that is more your thing than sweets. The idea is to have fun making something you both enjoy and then have fun enjoying it together.

    Grab a bottle of wine and swap stories. Remember when you first met? Tell each other the details you remember about the other person. Remember when you first kissed? Share how you felt. Share some of your favorite memories of trips you took together or things you did together. Dream about fun things to do together in the future.

    Play cards together (strip poker could spice things up after a few friendly rounds of cards).

    Make a scavenger hunt for your partner. Give them a clue that helps them find another clue that helps them find another until finally, they get a reward for all their hard effort!

    Cook together. Slow down, relax, and enjoy cooking, working together, and tasting what each is making.

    Garden together. Planting flowers together can be a lot of fun and then you can think of the fun you had with your honey every time you look at your nicely landscaped beds. Plus, you may need to go clean up together after working in the dirt!

    Go on a virtual date. There are lots of museums with virtual tours so this is the perfect time for you and your sweetie to see those works of art together or discuss history and science.

    Try a Date Night Box subscription. There are some companies like, Crated With Love, that take all the work out preparing for date night and deliver curated fun. It’s an easy way to have fun after a long day.

    Date Night Can Help Keep The Spark Alive

    Take a look at your spouse; you’re still just as wild about each other as you were when you got married, right? You still make each other laugh, still support each other through stressful times, and still want to be the first person each other sees in the morning and the last they see at night. So why aren’t you putting the same effort into your marriage now that you’re parents, as you did when you were newlyweds?

    It’s a scary thought, but many couples end up drifting apart once their kids are grown and out of the house, realizing that years of what they thought was happy, healthy marriage, was just collaborative child-rearing. Getting too comfortable might not be a good thing if you start taking each other for granted.

    You need to ensure that you’re both parents and romantic partners. Kids will never be “in the way,” but you’re likely using them as a mental block to stop yourself from indulging in some well-deserved adult time. That is why regular date nights are so helpful to putting the emphasis back on the two of you.

    Make a point to take a half hour before bedtime to spend time with your spouse, either talking in bed before turning the lights off or sipping a glass of wine on the back porch as the sun goes down. Communication is essential to staying connected to your spouse and each feeling seen and heard.

    Adding a little moment of romance to your daily routine will make carving a few hours for date night to go see a movie or cook a romantic meal together feel more natural—and essential—to your relationship.

    It is all about staying connected and not taking each other for granted. Your partner is special and they need to know you still feel that way. Take the time to show each other through regular date nights for married couples.

    If you are already overdue for a date night, consider taking a day trip together or even an overnight trip so you can catch up on some romantic couple time! Then you may be hungry for more date nights after that.

    Related Posts:

    Finding Time For Your Spouse

    Marriage Advice From Those Married Over 10 Years More