new partner

In the era of social media, and the Tik Tok generation, a lot of interesting terminology has come to the fore, particularly around relationships. ‘Cuffing Season’ gained traction in the mid-2010s and is coming back into use.
The term is related to being ‘cuffed’ or tied down. It refers to the autumn and winter seasons where single people choose to have a short fling so they can have companionship for the colder months. Once 15th February (the day after Valentine’s Day) rolls around, it’s time to move on and the brief relationship comes to an end. If you’re divorced, this might seem tempting, but there are some things to be aware of before you get whisked away.
We’ve all seen the movies where the single asks their best friend (or a complete stranger!) to pretend to be their partner for Christmas, or Valentine’s Day. Hollywood would have us believe that it is inevitable that the protagonist and their ‘holi-date’ fall in love. However, this is not always reality, and cuffing season can have its downsides, especially when you’ve been through divorce or a breakup.
The Emotional Side
If you have recently gone through divorce or a breakup of a relationship, you’re likely to be feeling a range of different emotions. Loneliness and fear of being alone after an important relationship can be a motivation for seeking out a short-term relationship and someone to spend the colder months with. There is a romanticism attached to the winter and festive season, and if you’re recently single you may feel this all the more strongly.
However, a relationship purely for the sake of it is unlikely to make you happy in the long run.
Dating after divorce can be a great way to move forward with your life and rebuild your self-confidence. There might even be a sense of control over the experience as you know there is a definite end point, and you don’t have to get too serious!
But it can also be problematic. Even though it can be fun, you might still experience anxiety about a fling or get more invested than you planned to. You might end up feeling more pressure and stress than you did in being single and wanting a relationship.
A divorce coach can help you navigate the emotional complexities of a breakup, with a view for the future and potentially dating again. We have a number of partner divorce coaches who will help you build your goals and plan what you want out of the next stage of your life. If you want to start dating again, but don’t know where to begin, a dating coach is a great place to start.

The Legal Side
Finances
If you are divorced, and you’ve received your final order, you are legally no longer tied to your ex-spouse. You are free to date whoever you want, and to get married again if you wish. If you are going through the divorce process but have not yet been granted your final order, you cannot legally remarry, but you can date.
However, if you have not got a financial consent order which legally severs your financial ties with your ex, you may need to be more careful. Even if you are divorced, your ex can still bring financial claims if you do not have a financial consent order granted by the court. This means if you receive any significant gifts, finances, or even move in with a new partner, your partner could ask you for a share.
Equally, if you are in the midst of negotiating your financial settlement, moving in with a new partner may mean that their finances and assets are taken into account in your settlement. This can make you artificially wealthier than you are in reality, and you may end up paying more to your ex.
Living with a new partner can cause complexities when it comes to the laws around cohabitation. Cohabitees are not viewed in the same way as married couples under English and Welsh law, and you have very few rights if you break up.
Children
Children are often at the heart of divorce disputes. Where parents can agree amicably, an informal parenting plan can be put in place, agreed together. If this is not possible, the court may make a legally binding child arrangements order which parents must abide by.
In many such agreements, whether formal or informal, there can be an arrangement on introducing children to new partners. This may be that you have to wait a certain amount of time after you first start dating, or your new partner must be introduced to your ex before they meet your children.
If you get into a short-term relationship, especially if you know there is an end date already in place, this can be difficult to navigate where children are concerned. Introducing a new partner for a brief amount of time can be confusing and upsetting for children and it is important that you manage the situation carefully. You may find it easier to not bring the new partner into their lives at all!
How can a lawyer help?
An expert family lawyer can advise you on the ins and outs of a new partner. If you are negotiating your financial settlement, they can give guidance on what to do to ensure the settlement is correct and fair. They can advise on best practise when it comes to child arrangements, too.
Family lawyers are there to facilitate mediation or other non-court dispute resolution methods, so you can work matters out smoothly with your ex. Some of our lawyers at Stowe are also trained mediators.
Seek expert advice if you’re unsure on the legalities of a new relationship, particularly if you decide to move in with a new partner as there are a number of considerations to be aware of with cohabitation.
Useful Links
Dealing with divorce regret
Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide

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