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    The Five Pillars of Home Education

    The five pillars of parenting, which I write about in Extraordinary Parenting: The Essential Guide to Parenting and Educating From Home, help all parents, whether they are educating their children at home full-time, homeschooling due to the current pandemic, caring for toddlers or preschool-age children, or simply want to support their children’s learning outside school hours.
    Pillar one: Relationships
     Much has already been written on this blog on the importance of parent-child relationships in nurturing children’s developing brains and supporting their health, happiness, and resilience into adulthood. This is doubly so with home education: A positive relationship based on collaboration, parental empathy, and playfulness forms a solid foundation for the highs and lows of educating at home. This type of relationship also creates an atmosphere in which children feel they can make mistakes and take risks, free from the comparison and competition that can be rife in school settings.
    Understanding that children’s challenging behavior is a form of communication and seeking to meet the needs behind that behavior are important for parents supporting their children through the rich terrain of home education. Marshall Rosenberg’s pioneering work on nonviolent communication is a good place to start. Parents who homeschool can build a relationship with their children that doesn’t rely on punishments, praise, or rewards, and instead seeks to develop children’s intrinsic motivation.
    Pillar two: Rhythm
    In his 2010 book, Simplicity Parenting, educator and school counselor Kim John Payne made a powerful case for simplifying children’s daily lives and reducing the number of activities – -and the sheer amount of stuff — in their lives for a slower, more balanced, and more psychologically healthy childhood. He advocated building a predictable but flexible rhythm, rather than a strict and brittle routine, which allows children to feel secure and thrive.

    Living in a society in which most children go through the school gates every day can leave us with a very specific idea of what learning looks like. It’s easy to forget that, at its best and most effective, learning — for adults and children alike — looks a lot like play and playful experimentation.

    Parents and children can work together to build a rhythm that ensures a predictable flow through the day and enough time for learning activities (for formal academic work at home, children need much shorter lessons than they do in school, so plan accordingly), time outdoors, play, rest, and time as a family. During each day, certain times can act as anchors — meals, a walk, time together in the morning to do project work or read as a family, time for everyone to pitch in with chores. This rhythm brings a reassuring pattern to each day without putting too many brakes on the creativity that can come from blank space on the calendar.
    Photo provided by the author.

    Pillar three: Home environment
    Many pedagogies speak of the importance of a prepared environment, from Maria Montessori’s insistence that the environment should facilitate maximum independent learning and exploration to the Reggio Emilia notion of the environment as the third teacher (alongside the child and the teacher), designed to suit the child’s needs and encourage collaboration, relationships, and exploration.
    At home, parents have the advantage of not teaching in a classroom — in fact, research suggests classrooms should be more like homes. A 2015 study by Barrett et al. on the impact of classroom design on students’ learning found that the aesthetics of the spaces significantly affected children’s ability to take in information: Classrooms with too much color and information had a negative impact, distracting children and making it hard to focus, and classrooms that were bare had similar effects. Natural light and fresh air were the most important ingredients for happy, focused students, as well as space to move around and furniture that fit their needs. These are all things parents can provide at home, meeting children’s needs for independence, creativity, movement, play, and rest in a comfortable space.
    Movement is especially important, with research showing that it is a key factor in how children integrate social and academic learning and transform it into memory. Parents can bring movement into their children’s daily rhythm with far more ease than schools.
    Pillar four: Encouraging natural learning
    Living in a society in which most children go through the school gates every day can leave us with a very specific idea of what learning looks like. It’s easy to forget that, at its best and most effective, learning — for adults and children alike — looks a lot like play and playful experimentation.
    Humans are born learning; all we need to do is look at a baby to see that this is true. In the first year or two of life, babies learn one or more languages; figure out how to crawl, walk, run, and climb; discern when something is funny and when something is unacceptable; determine how to respond empathetically to others’ emotions; and learn how to play. Home education can allow for a return to this more natural, playful style of learning, whether children are learning math through baking, studying a foreign language by playing Minecraft with a friend in another country, or chatting with a neighbor.
    Children have their own passions and interests that they want to explore, and home education provides the time and space for them to learn through hands-on experiences, as well as enabling far deeper exploration of different subjects than would be possible at school. Rather than trying to replicate a full school timetable of compartmentalized subjects, parents can facilitate multidisciplinary projects and investigations. They can also allow children the space to tinker, lead their own learning, and find the state of flow we know is conducive to happiness and positive self-worth.
    Pillar five: Self-care
    Stress can harm parents’ ability to respond to their children, and parents and educators alike have seen how children pick up on adult moods. We know that stress in teachers negatively affects class attainment, and stress in parents has been linked to poor behavioral outcomes in children. Home educating can be very fulfilling and enjoyable, but it can also be exhausting, especially when combined with other responsibilities, such as paid employment, housework, and caring for other children or elders. The importance of self-care for parents and caregivers cannot be overstated.
    Self-care can be broadly described as taking care of our own emotional, physical, and intellectual needs – for example, engaging in regular exercise (including taking a walk), taking time to enjoy a hobby (any activity that brings a state of flow is ideal), reading a good book, reducing time spent on social media or reading the news, having a phone conversation with a good friend, and practicing meditation. Self-care differs for each individual. If parents don’t have much or any time apart from their children, choosing activities that can be done alongside the children is most effective. Doing so also gives parents the opportunity to model self-care and show their children what it means to prioritize one’s own needs.
    Home Education Is Not Just For Pandemics
    Educating children at home can benefit both children and their families. Following the initial COVID-19 lockdowns over the spring and summer, many parents decided to remove their children from school permanently and take charge of their education themselves. In doing so, they noticed their children were less anxious and more interested in learning, and that sibling relationships once again blossomed with more time together. Evidence from families all over the world shows that children can learn perfectly well without school, and in many cases are happier, show more self-direction and intrinsic motivation in their learning, and develop a wide range of skills and interests.
    Header photo provided by the author.  More

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    Parental beliefs about online education: Reflections on the Italian experience during COVID-19 quarantine

    Italy was the first western country hit by COVID-19 and one of the countries in Europe with the highest death rates. National lockdown restrictions came into force in March 2020 and schools were closed until the end of the academic year. Now new lockdowns are feared. Teachers’ and parents’ engagement in online schooling and remote learning has emerged as one of the most significant challenges for the country.
    Children experiencing lockdown measures at home are likely to have accumulated multiple stresses related to their lack of or low engagement in school-based instructional and social activities. With schools closed, parents have become full-time child care providers and home-school teachers, responsible, more than ever, for supporting their children’s educational and developmental needs.
    Now Italian young people, their families, and their teachers are facing the challenge of in-person or blended (partly in-person, partly online) education.

    “How well both parents and their children believe they are capable of handling challenges associated with online education was associated with higher child autonomy around online education, better academic performance, and fewer child emotional difficulties.”

    Last summer in Italy, we conducted an anonymous survey of parents with 6- to 18-year-old children about their beliefs about online education. Here are some preliminary data:
    250 parents, 83% of whom were mothers, answered the survey.
    The average age of the children was 11 (SD = 3.84) and 53% were boys.
    The parents were from the center and south of Italy.
    48% lived in an independent house, while 52% lived in an apartment.
    90% said they had WIFI in their home during the lockdown.
    Our study was inspired by Albert Bandura‘s studies on self-efficacy beliefs, which showed that people’s actions are strongly influenced by how much they believe they are capable of reaching a goal or effectively handling a challenging situation. We conducted a pilot study to examine parents’ self-efficacy beliefs toward the challenges of online education during quarantine (we asked, for example, “During quarantine, how well did you believe you were capable of supporting your child doing homework during online education?”). We also examined parents’ perceptions of their children’s beliefs about feeling capable of handling the challenges (we asked, for example, “During quarantine, how well do you think your child felt capable of asking for support to do homework from you/a classmate/a teacher during online education?”). Hereafter I refer to those constructs as parents’ and children’s efficacy beliefs toward online education.
    First, both parents’ and children’s efficacy beliefs toward online education were associated with higher autonomy on the part of the children around online education (e.g., “During quarantine, how often did your child attend online education autonomously, without you having to remind him/her it was time to do so?”). Similarly higher parents’ and [children’s?] efficacy beliefs correlated with better academic performance and fewer emotional difficulties on the part of the children at the end of academic year.
    Second, parents’ support for their children’s academic activities before the COVID-19 pandemic started, as well as parents’ and children’s familiarity with online communication platforms before the pandemic, were associated with higher parental self-efficacy beliefs toward online education.
    Greater parental difficulty in supporting their children in respecting homework deadlines and understanding teachers’ instructions about homework, as well as an overall parental feeling of powerlessness in understanding how they could support their children’s learning, predicted lower parents’ and children’s efficacy beliefs.
    In addition, higher parents’ and children’s beliefs in understanding others’ needs (empathic self-efficacy), handling anger and sadness in challenging situations, and expressing positive emotions (regulatory emotional self-efficacy) were associated with higher parents’ and children’s efficacy beliefs toward online education, as well as with youth’s autonomy toward online education.
    Parents’ hostile rumination (e.g., “I will always remember the injustices I have suffered”) and irritability (e.g., “I often feel like a powder keg ready to explode”) were associated with lower parents’ self-efficacy and children’s autonomy toward online education.

    “Facilitating family-school communications in the time of COVID-19 might decrease parents’ sense of powerlessness when supporting their children’s learning development.”

    Children’s negative emotions (e.g., anger and sadness), low effortful control (e.g., the ability to inhibit an action when there is a strong tendency to perform it), and higher problematic behaviors (e.g., aggressive behaviors, anxiety and symptoms of depression) before the COVID-19 pandemic were also associated with lower parents’ and children’s efficacy beliefs toward online education.
    In conclusion, Bandura’s self-efficacy theory supports the importance of taking into account how well both parents and their children believe they are capable of handling challenges associated with online education. Our preliminary findings show a correlation between these beliefs and developmental outcomes for Italian children during the difficult months of the lockdown.
    Facilitating family-school communication in the time of COVID-19 might decrease parents’ sense of powerlessness when supporting their children’s learning development. It could also increase their sense of efficacy around the challenges typically associated with online education.
    If parents and teachers know which parents’ and children’s characteristics are associated with better child outcomes, they might be able to think more effectively about how to manage their own and their children’s behaviors to maximize the chances of success for the children.
    Header photo: Nenad Stojkovic. Creative Commons.  More

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    How parents can support children’s learning at home

    With no advance notice, children and teachers were thrust into using online learning during the COVID-19 pandemic, a crisis that is far from over. Those who are self-isolating face the prospect of distance learning for the foreseeable future; for others, positive COVID-19 test results or COVID-19 symptoms combined with the absence of testing will mean significant periods of time away from school. And as we face a second wave of the disease, many schools could close for long periods yet again.
    What do child development scientists have to say to parents who are tackling the issue of learning at home? We asked members of the Scientists’ Alliance for Communicating Child Development Knowledge, who provided a wealth of insights.
    Parents are the main influence on learning, but the pressures are great
    Parents are the main influence on learning, writes Jennifer Lansford on the Child & Family Blog. “Demonstrate to your children the value of education – that’s one of the most important ways a parent can encourage their learning.” But, as Suniya Luthar writes on our blog, the pressures on children at home are great. “In our research, by far the most important factor predicting anxiety and depression in children was low quality of relationship with parents. Following this was lack of structure to the day (separating time for leisure or fun), and high levels of distraction or inability to focus on schoolwork.”
    Photo: ADR. Creative Commons.

    Children learn through play and curiosity: an opportunity for parents
    During the COVID-19 pandemic, parents may feel pressure to teach children in traditional school-based ways. Yet there is nothing wrong with learning in playful ways that keep children’s interest and invite them to have fun at the same time. Numerous studies suggest that learning is a fundamental part of what occurs during play: Playing and learning are inextricably linked. For children, playing with adults is likely to be even more enriching.
    Play helps children explore a wide variety of emotions, and not just pleasant ones like excitement and joy. These experiences help children grow emotionally and cognitively. What’s more, children are aware that they are learning through play, and a study of 400 children showed that many of them thought the worlds of play and learning overlap in many ways.
    Lockdown learning through play can help build on children’s natural ways of learning by building on their curiosity and self-direction. Play with family members could also be essential for mitigating the loss of learning related to the pandemic, particularly for disadvantaged children.
    At the same time, playing with children is important for reducing stress and improving mental health among parents and caregivers.
    Photo: Unsplash.

    Top tips for parents on home learning
    The Internet features great material advising parents what to do. Below is a guide to it all. Another good place to start is asking children what was good and bad about the lockdown from March to June because, as Roberta Golinkoff and Marcia Halperin explain, children have insights on the benefits and challenges of remote learning: Just ask them.
    One of our favorite resources is Jelena Obradović’s tip sheet for parents supporting online learning at home. The sheet covers the themes of learning spaces, daily schedules, routines, goals and progress, as well as managing frustrations and ensuring closeness and connection. We have reproduced this sheet here:

    Learning Space
    Find a space in your home that can be used every day for distance learning.
    If the space is shared, create a cardboard or cloth separation to minimize noise and distractions.
    Offer your child the chance to decorate this space to feel welcoming (draw a sign, bring a favorite pillow, etc.).
    Make sure the space includes essential learning materials. Ask teachers for help.
    Daily Schedule
    Understand what teachers expect from your child. Email, call, or text to clarify.
    Write a simple list of activities that your child needs to complete each day.
    Include breaks for snacks, physical activity, wiggles or stretches, and free choice time. Younger children will need more breaks.
    Encourage your child to decorate the schedule and post it in their space.
    Revise to fit your family’s needs. Be flexible.
    Predictable Routine
    Start early when your child is rested.
    Review the daily schedule and make sure your child understands it (e.g., first you will…, then you can…).
    Help your child build independence (e.g., learn to prepare their own snack, troubleshoot computer problems).
    Let your child know when and how they can ask for help.
    Keep regular sleep times.
    Goals & Progress
    Together with your child, set behavioral expectations and review them daily.
    Set goals and timelines that your child can complete. It’s about progress, not perfection.
    Teach your child to use a timer to stay focused for a period of time. Start small!
    Mark daily progress (even on not-so-good days) with stickers, pennies, pebbles, etc.
    Use your child’s favorite activities as rewards for showing effort and progress.
    Managing Frustrations
    Use simple calming strategies: counting to 10, taking deep breaths, a short break.
    Help your child describe the problem and express their feelings (I feel…, when…).
    Together, come up with a potential solution and connect it to previously set expectations.
    Explain how the child’s behavior is linked to consequences. Set gentle and firm limits.
    Assume that everyone is trying their best. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with others.
    Ask teachers and others for help.
    Closeness & Connection
    Start each day with a brief joyful experience: a fun greeting, song, dance.
    Create opportunities for your child to be helpful (e.g., household chores, cooking prep, reading to siblings).
    Each day, try to connect with your child without any distractions. Highlight positive experiences. If you have time, do a fun activity together that the child selects.
    Create opportunities for your child to share their worries, and provide reassurance.

    You can download the tip sheet in English, Arabic, Cantonese, Filipino, Mandarin, Portuguese, Spanish, Urdu, and Vietnamese here.
    Photo: David Brookes. Creative Commons.

     
    We found more tips from other researchers.
    Learning space 
    If possible, dedicate a specific device to learning. (NPR, How to turn your home into a school without losing your sanity)
    Schedule and routine
    Plan the day together, including when to do activities. Engaging children in creating a schedule helps build their self-awareness and motivation. (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Have a good shake at the end of the day! (NPR, How To Turn Your Home Into A School Without Losing Your Sanity)
    Be a good role model: Parents should stick to their own routine, too! (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Managing frustrations 
    When children aren’t motivated to learn, parents and caregivers can make it more fun by incorporating documentaries, or changing the topic and giving children the choice to return to the work later. (Cathie Tamis-Lemonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    It is important for parents to manage their own emotions because children can’t learn in high-stress environments. In doing this, adults provide the conditions necessary to learn. (Cathie Tamis-Lemonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Working with teachers
    Schedule time with teachers, both to clarify what is expected of your child and to make use of available teaching resources. (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Consider if your child can join meetings with the teacher. This can help children feel more motivated and closer to the teacher. (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Be specific with questions when meeting with teachers. (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Doing things with your child
    Break down tasks into bite-sized pieces. (APA, Recommendations on starting school during the COVID-19 pandemic)
    Friends and family can help with teaching, especially if parents don’t feel comfortable with certain topics. (Cathie Tamis-Lemonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    When parents aren’t sure about something, they can model problem solving with their children. By working out something together, they help improve children’s practical problem-solving skills, which shapes the way they approach future challenges. (Cathie Tamis-Lemonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Make learning meaningful. If children don’t understand why they’re learning something or why it’s important or useful, they can easily disengage from the material. Other ways to make information applicable to students’ lives are to include material relevant to students’ race, culture, and ethnicity. (APA, Recommendations on Starting School during the COVID-19 pandemic)
    Learning style
    Allow children to use a variety of approaches for completing tasks and solving problems. The strategies they have been taught may not be the only or best ways to answer a specific question or solve a particular problem. (APA, Recommendations on starting school during the COVID-19 pandemic)
    By asking your child to teach you the content he or she has just learned, it will be easier to identify gaps. Parents can then work with teachers on these gaps. (Cathie Tamis-LeMonda & Erin Bogan, The science of learning and teaching at home during Covid-19)
    Photo: Unsplash.

    Header photo: Nenad Stojkovic. Creative Commons.  More

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    Pandemic shows children’s well-being depends on parents staying in good mental shape

    The mental health of stressed young people was transformed at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic: Many felt better. Anxiety and symptoms of depression dropped among older, high-achieving children in the United States. That was particularly true for students about to graduate from high school, our research in U.S. schools has found.
    Why? Children relaxed … for a bit. COVID-19 provided a full stop to the busyness of some teenage lives. The treadmill of pressure, activities, and commitments halted. Out went crisscrossing among band practice, sports clubs, social activities, and hours of homework into the small hours. Lockdowns brought that high-octane life to a sudden standstill.
    Children got more sleep – they weren’t leaving home at 7 am. Many schools had staggered hours and reduced the pressure, shifting from grading assignments to awarding a pass or fail. Social anxiety was reduced – a teenager didn’t need to worry about being left out of the lunch table or not being invited to parties that no longer happened. Missing out on a romantic relationship didn’t matter as much – kids were not seeing seemingly happy couples at school or at social gatherings.
    But this break didn’t last. As we worked with schools through the arrival of summer, we found that anxiety and depression had risen again among older high school students. Their initial relief morphed into feeling that life was unsettling, scary, and lonely — young people experienced grief about incomplete endings and fears about what might lie ahead.

    “Anxiety and depression dropped initially for older, high-achieving children in the United States.”

    Middle school children less relieved
    Children in middle school did not have even the initial relief – in our survey, anxiety and depression stayed at previous levels for them. That’s probably because virtual communication is more challenging for children of this age. Their peer groups are less well formed and less stable than those of 16- to 18-year-olds. If you are an awkward, insecure 12-year-old with few social connections, it can be easier to casually share confidences with friends at soccer practice or while walking around than to do so from home via Zoom. Self-consciousness kicks in: “Will they like my room?” “Will they see my family?”
    We’ve learned a lot about what helps children of all ages feel good in a period characterized by prolonged uncertainty, with no end in sight. Two predictors of their well-being stand out: the well-being of parents and the supportiveness of teachers.
    Photo: kris krüg. Creative Commons.

    Parents and teachers vital for resilience
    First, we found strong, unique links between adolescents’ depression and anxiety and whether they felt their parents were coping well. When children felt their parents maintained a calm, stable home and were in good enough shape to provide emotional support, they were likely to be doing well. This was true across ages, genders, and races. Our finding is in sync with a major report published last year on children’s well-being by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. Its take-home message: If you want children to do well, the single most important step is to ensure that the parents are doing well themselves.

    “When children felt their parents maintained a calm, stable home and were in good enough shape to provide emotional support, they were likely to be doing well.”

    Second, our research found that the support of key adults – and teachers in particular – was vital to children in maintaining their well-being. In open-ended questions on what was going well in their schools, children and youth responded most often with answers such as, “My teacher cares about me and reaches out to me,” and ‘I really like that my teachers check in on how I’m feeling and not just my school work.”
    Parents need proper care 
    These two observations should inform practice and policy. The first highlights that we need to expand the focus of policy and practice beyond just styles of parenting. Children’s well-being depends not simply on quality of care but is linked directly to parents’ own well-being. During the pandemic, adults – just like children – also require love, gentleness, comfort, and stability. This helps the adults ensure that their children feel well looked after.
    “Burned out” teachers need help, too
    Teachers’ welfare is also important, not just for its own sake, but also because these adults provide valuable care and support for students. During the pandemic, we surveyed U.S. teachers’ well-being. Stress rates stayed steady, but clinically significant burnout has risen sharply among educators since March 2020. The risk factors seem to be lack of clarity about what they are required to do and blurry boundaries between work and recreation. These findings reflect how many teachers have worked long hours and had few breaks over the summer. Their needs should also be supported, especially if they are to play their role in bolstering children’s resilience.
    Which aspects of home life were most helpful?
    Our research about children during the COVID-19 pandemic identified three factors, , that reliably predicted anxiety and depression in children. By far the most important was having a low-quality relationship with parents. Following this was lack of structure to the day (separating time for leisure or fun), and high levels of distraction or inability to focus on schoolwork.
    Parents and schools can help address each of these factors. For parents, the challenge in these very difficult circumstances is to stay well themselves. Stress levels have risen for all and it is important that parents share their burdens with others and, where necessary – and if they can – seek professional help.
    Manage technology, expectations, and assignments
    For schools, an important task is to support their teachers well. Professional development programs must address directly the psychological burdens educators take on as they support their students through the pandemic. For students, schools should ensure that their days are well-structured and that lessons are not too long. Online technology should be streamlined so children are not juggling between different platforms. Educators should scale back expectations and focus on the core skills children need, letting go of much of the rest. Teachers should coordinate with other teachers when making assignments and scheduling due dates. It doesn’t take much figuring out to ensure, for example, that Monday is science homework day, Tuesday is math homework day, and so on. This helps children have a predictable and manageable week.
    None of us should forget, if life begins to return to how it once was, that there was something wrong with the overly busy schedules of many children’s lives. The figures for serious anxiety and depression tell the story. COVID-19 has brought its own problems, but the temporary sense of relaxation it has offered some children shows that life was not that healthy beforehand. Children deserve better than the old normal.
    Header photo: Unsplash.  More

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    Parents are the greatest influence on children’s learning, but how can this influence be harnessed?

    Demonstrate to your children the value of education – that’s one of the most important ways a parent can encourage their learning. This is true the world over, although parents have various ways to highlight this value. If parents succeed in convincing their children of the importance of education and can mobilize the resources to provide support, children typically stay in school and do well.
    Many of the important contributions from parents do not require money or qualifications. Support can begin with a simple question: “What are you learning about at school?” Parents can bring an extra perspective to what children are studying: “I don’t know if you have heard about this…?” can open a discussion. For example, parents might mention climate change and ask how it fits in with, say, science at school. They can extend what the child is doing in class and bring it home: “What do you think we can do? Can we recycle?” These conversations express that parents value education and support their children.

    “Parental involvement in children’s education is important in every country. However, the way that involvement takes place varies greatly.”

    Parents also set an example. They can let children see them reading for themselves, so parents are not always on their phones and do not leave a television on constantly in the background. Reading with children, especially in the early years, is highly beneficial. But if parents have low literacy skills, just talking with children and telling them stories, even if not from a book, help build language skills.
    Parental involvement varies globally
    Parental involvement in children’s education is important in every country. However, the way that involvement takes place varies greatly. In some low-income countries, where even low school fees for uniforms, books, or transport can break the family budget, parents show their commitment to their children’s learning by making considerable sacrifices to meet the costs. Sometimes, they manage it only for some members of the family: Perhaps the younger siblings are sent to school while the older ones work to pay the expenses. In Kenya, the best schools tend to be boarding, with children living away from home for many months. If they can, parents show how they value education by paying the fees even though that means losing out on face-to-face childrearing.
    In the United States, one of the most important parental contributions to children’s learning is choosing where the family lives. There are thousands of individual school systems, with different books, curricula, and pedagogical strategies; Americans with financial resources often decide where to make their homes based on the school system they want for their children. The location of a school matters much less in China, where schools are more standardized, and where there is a national curriculum and national pedagogical strategies and textbooks. Parents in China and other Asian countries such as the Philippines and Thailand tend to focus more on home support, helping with homework and making sure that children have a designated time and place to study.
    Photo: Pass the Torch. Creative Commons.

    Mobilizing parents’ educational input
    How can formal education use parents effectively – harness their social capital – for learning? Cultural norms vary. In some places, such as the United States, parents are  expected to volunteer in their children’s classrooms, work at book fairs or other events, or help with fundraising. Jordan has mandatory parents’ councils, which involve parents directly with administrators and teachers. Many countries have variations of this concept. Sometimes the goal is for teachers to communicate what is happening in the classroom and guide parents on how they can support their children’s learning. These initiatives generally work better if they are universally available and non-stigmatizing, rather than focusing solely on parents of children who are struggling. However, some countries (e.g., China) have eschewed these models and generally, parents are not seen in classrooms or at schools there.
    Few models harness the support fathers can bring to their children’s education – in fact, much of the research and practice related to parental involvement focuses on mothers. But some countries have recognized the potential of involving fathers. In Jordan, when organizers of a parenting program saw that success mainly involved mothers, imams were recruited to spread messages about parenting to dads at Friday prayers.
    The greatest influence is at home 
    Home is typically where parents make the most difference in their children’s education. Parents often ask how much help they should give with homework. It is good to lend a hand if children are struggling at school, with the parent acting like a tutor to help children understand or practice reading with text support. But some parents go too far and take over, making children feel that they cannot do it on their own. Children need to feel efficacious.
    School learning systems can clash with family and cultural systems. This is true where schools adopt, for example, English or French as the language of instruction, when children are fluent in different mother tongues and much less able to communicate in these other languages. In the Philippines, for example, new laws require instruction during primary school in mother tongue languages because many parents were uncomfortable with the main languages being English or Filipino, which prevented them from being involved in their children’s education. In many countries, language policy has disconnected learning at school from interactions at home and hindered parents’ ability to be involved in their children’s education.

    “A major issue in education – which parents can influence considerably – is maintaining children’s mental health and well-being.”

    Parents can support mental health
    A major issue in education – which parents can influence considerably – is maintaining children’s mental health and well-being. Placing a high emphasis on academic achievement can lead to anxiety and symptoms of depression in children. This often occurs where high-stakes examinations provide a narrow gateway to further opportunities, perhaps because a country has limited resources for funding education or elite institutions cherry-pick students.
    High-stakes testing, particularly in Asian countries, fosters concerns that academic success is achieved at the expense of children’s mental health. Sweden offers a contrasting example, thanks partly to its wealth, with a good intersection between family values and the school system: Both support students having varied paths of study that reflect their individual interests. And Sweden does not have the barriers to higher education found in some countries, which generate so much examination anxiety.
    It is much easier to highlight parental practices – such as physical punishment – that are universally bad for children than it is to identify evidence on which practices are universally good. But the level of variation suggests that parents and education systems should look elsewhere and ask: “Should we try that here?”
    Header photo: Nenad Stojkovic. Creative Commons. More

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    A solid foundation: Building children’s self-esteem during the COVID-19 pandemic

    The COVID-19 pandemic has shaken the pillars of children’s lives. Faced with quarantine, school closures, and social distancing, many children are deprived of the everyday experiences that normally build their self-esteem — their sense of worth as a person. Self-esteem is a critical ingredient of children’s mental health. Children with higher self-esteem tend to have happier lives, better relationships, and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.
    Many parents see the process of raising self-esteem as building a structure: The first step is to lay a solid foundation. How, then, can parents help lay a solid foundation for children’s self-esteem during the COVID-19 pandemic?
    According to theories in psychology, children’s self-esteem is built on two pillars: acceptance and competence. Children feel good about themselves when they feel loved and supported by significant others (acceptance) and when they master new skills to achieve their goals (competence).

    “Parents can continue building warmer, more supportive relationships with their children. In warm, supportive relationships, parents share joy with their children, show fondness for them, and express interest in their activities.”

    Here, we present evidence-based strategies that parents can implement to cultivate acceptance and competence in children. These strategies do not require much time or resources on behalf of parents. Indeed, our aim is to ease — rather than increase — the burden placed on parents during these remarkable times. Parents may be under extreme stress: the stress of going to work while risking exposure to the virus, of homeschooling their children while struggling to meet their own job demands, and of caring for elderly parents while being concerned about their own health. It is important for parents to be compassionate to themselves and to embrace the imperfections of their new routines.
    Acceptance
     What can parents do to make children feel more loved and supported? For one, parents can continue building warmer, more supportive relationships with their children. In warm, supportive relationships, parents share joy with their children, show fondness for them, and express interest in their activities. Parents can do so, for example, by spending time with their children and letting them know they are enjoying their presence, by asking children with curiosity about their interests and daily activities, and by talking to children about their worries and fears in age-appropriate ways regarding the current pandemic.
    Photo: Unsplash.

    Such experiences of warmth are most likely to cultivate self-esteem when they are provided unconditionally, in good times and in bad. This isn’t about being a super-parent: “You just have to show up, allowing your kids to feel that you get them and that you’ll be there for them, no matter what.”
    Of course, as children age, they develop more friendships outside the family. Such friendships are an important source of self-esteem. Unfortunately, quarantine, school closures, and social distancing have made it incredibly difficult for children to maintain their friendships. When playdates are unsafe or simply impossible, children might need their parents’ guidance in connecting with their friends. For example, parents can help children meet up with friends online through games or video chat apps, encourage children to watch a show with their friends remotely, or assist children in making a playlist of their favorite songs and sharing it with their friends.
    Although seemingly trivial, these strategies may create upward spirals of self-esteem over time. Indeed, when children build deeper relationships with others, they develop higher self-esteem. And when they develop higher self-esteem, they become more inclined to approach others, show warmth to others, and forge even deeper bonds with them. This, in turn, further buttresses their self-esteem.

    “Parents can encourage children to find a topic that fascinates them and provide them with the resources they need to learn more about it.”

    Competence
    Children are born curious and spontaneously practice new skills. They often seek novel and challenging experiences that help them build their competence. As they feel increasingly competent, their self-esteem rises.
    Amidst school closures, children may attend online classes, get homeschooled, or not receive any education at all. In these cases, a large burden is placed on children’s intrinsic motivation. How can parents nurture children’s interest and joy in learning? Parents can encourage children to find a topic that fascinates them and provide them with the resources they need to learn more about it. They can use free educational resources (such as National Geographic Kids’ YouTube channel); create art projects; and help children build structures with Legos, blocks, or even household items.
    In these activities, it is critical for children to experience a sense of learning and growth. Even small steps on the road toward self-improvement should be celebrated. When children know they are improving themselves, they feel proud and eagerly seek out more activities to hone their skills.
    Conclusion
     The foundation of children’s self-esteem is laid early in life. We’ve shown that parents can help build this foundation by making children feel loved and nurturing their interest and joy in learning. Given the worries and fears that surround a global pandemic, a solid foundation can help children build toward a better future.
    Header photo: The Lowry. Creative Commons.  More

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    Children Have Insights on the Benefits and Challenges of Remote Learning: Just Ask Them

    With the end of lockdowns approaching, many parents of school-age children will breathe a collective sigh of relief. No longer will they have to monitor their children’s virtual assignments or worry about how to manage the Zoom classroom for their kids. The pandemic and the executive orders to close schools have challenged teachers, parents, and […] More