Evelyn Reynolds

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    in Parenting

    How To Help A Child With Anxiety About School

    Does your child have back-to-school anxiety? If you have a verbal child, they have probably told you how they feel about going back-to-school. However, some kids may not know how to express their anxiety or may be embarrassed to admit that they are nervous about school. Young children often need help identifying their feelings and figuring out the best way to work through them. If you suspect your child is suffering from worry or fear, here are some effective ways to help a child with anxiety.

    7 Ways To Help A Child With Anxiety

    As a first step in addressing anxious feelings, make sure to ask open-ended questions and really listen to the answers as detailed above.

    Don’t take your child’s anxieties personally.

    Some parents may dismiss their child’s anxieties while others may take them as sign of their own failure to do something right.  Neither would be fair to yourself or the child.   You want to approach their anxieties in a calm, confident manner.  Let your child know that it OK and natural to have anxieties but that you are confident that they will make it through this fine. This is one of the most important ways that you can help a child with anxiety.

    Discuss the anxieties when your child is the most relaxed.

    You don’t have to talk about your child’s back to school anxieties the second that they surface.  If your child expresses their concerns right before bed or when you are rushing out for an appointment, it is OK to let them know you want to discuss this important matter with them and a time when you think it is best to do so.  Select a time when your child is rested and full (as well as yourself) for the best chances of a productive conversation with your child.

    Start your discussion by letting them tell you their feelings.

    In order to help a child with anxiety, it is important to give your child a chance to talk and really listen in order to get to the root of the fears and tell you why they are nervous.  It may require some gentle probing questions.  Only when you find out what is really bothering them, can you begin to address it.

    Anxious children may not always show you their signs of anxiety. It may take a little probing to find out what your child’s fears are.

    For example, I asked my son if he was excited for school and he replied, “I don’t know,” in a very unconvinced manner.  I let it go and asked the same question later and got the same response so I knew something was up.  This time I probed deeper, “Why aren’t you excited?” I asked.   I got the same, “I don’t know” response again.  I kept probbing and got this answer, “I don’t know if I will do as well as my sister.”  I immediately assured him he would do as well and that he was smart just like she was.  I reminded him of many things he had done well with in Pre-K and listed his talents.  He was again unconvinced.  So I kept calmly asking questions about why he felt that way in several ways until he unloaded, “But Mommy, I can’t read!”  Then I explained that you don’t have to know how to read when you go to kindergarten, that he would learn the beginnings of that in kindergarten.  “Oh”, he replied with obvious relief and then he started laughing, “Oh!” he said again.  We were both very relieved and he began to get excited after that.

    Be understanding but encouraging.

    You might say something like this to you child, “Even mommy can be nervous about starting something new. When I started my new job, I wondered if I would like it and if I would like the new people. But then I made up my mind to have a positive attitude and I realized I didn’t need to be afraid. It all turned out fine and you’ll get through this fine too.”  In other words, let them know you understand that they are nervous and that concerns are natural but don’t encourage the fears.

    Help your child remember past successes.

    Remind your child of other times they have successfully come through new experiences and challenges. “Remember when ____.  You did just fine with that. I’m sure you will do well with this too.”

    Facilitate your children’s problem-solving.

    Once you pinpoint their anxiety, help them make a plan to address it.  Let them tell you what they think will help and if they can’t think of anything then you might make suggestions.  If they are afraid of riding the bus, for example, ask them what they think would help?  If they need ideas, offer to tell them about how the route will go, maybe to find a neighbor that can be their buddy or tell them about how it works,  call the office for details, etc.

    Get Professional Help If Needed

    Don’t be afraid to seek the professional help of a doctor or psychologist for your child, if you feel they need it. While anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion, anxiety that involves more than temporary worry or fear and that interferes with daily activities may be a sign of various anxiety disorders. Addressing any mental health issues early with professional cognitive behavioral therapy helps to ameliorate them.

    Suggestions For Easing Back-To-School Anxiety

    Plan some play date with classmates. 

    Seeing some familiar faces at school will be a good feeling for them. Try to plan some playdates before school starts. This can help a can help a child with social anxiety prepare for the first time they face a full school day.

    Familiarity decreases anxiety.

    Plan a tour of your school so they can visit school, play on the playground, walk the halls, find out where the cafeteria is and what the release area is.  You will need to talk with the school office to find out how they handle this- each school is different. This familiarization activity will often help reduce your child’s anxiety about the first day of school.

    Get into the school schedule early.

    Get your kids going to bed on time and waking up early for at least a few days before school starts so they know what to expect. Getting enough sleep will help them be rested enough to meet the challenges of the first few days. Establish a before school and after school routine. You may find this after school checklist handy for the first day of school and establishing a routine.

    Make sure your child has a good breakfast and snack.

    You will want your child to be full on their first day and not get crabby because they are hungry. It is a good idea to make sure they have a snack ready for right after school too!

    On a separate note, if you are dealing with a school refusal or school avoidance from older children, be sure to take that seriously and investigate what is causing these feelings. Is it just an anxious brain or is there a more specific cause such as a certain member or the school staff or social situations they are trying to avoid? If they won’t talk to you the school guidance counselor may be an effective way to get the bottom of things.

    Creating Emotional Resilience For Dealing With Anxiety

    Jodi Aman shares some great tips in her video on how to develop emotional resilience for both parents and kids trying to deal with back to school anxiety. She empowers you to become a problem solver so you don’t feel trapped even when faced with tough choices. Enjoy!

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    Don’t worry! Take a few deep breaths. The good news is that you and your child will make it through Back-To-School anxiety just fine. You can help a child with anxiety by trying these tips and remembering to stay calm and composed. Just talk with your child in a calm way and brainstorm together about solutions and you will be building a positive framework for your relationship and ability to handle things together at the same time!

    Related Posts:

    Unique Ways To Be A Better Parent

    How to Coach Your Kid Through Test Anxiety

    The First Sleepover – How To Know If Your Child Is Ready? More

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    in Children

    Surrogacy and second thoughts

    At one time, or another, we have all seen a shocking headline which relates to surrogacy. Just last week there was an article in the Guardian online entitled “US couple withdraws legal action against ABC over claim they abandoned surrogate child with a disability”. In this instance the US couple, who had embarked upon a surrogacy arrangement in the Ukraine in 2015, took issue with their portrayal in an episode of Australian current affairs program Foreign Correspondent aired in 2019 and entitled ‘Motherland’, and a website article titled ‘Damaged babies and broken hearts: Ukraine’s commercial surrogacy industry leaves a trial of disasters’.
    The Background
    The intended father, Etnyre, was also the biological father of the child born through the surrogacy arrangement in the Ukraine. Sadly, the child was born prematurely, and she had serious health complications. The publications stated that the child had been abandoned following birth “because he did not like the child’s appearance”. It was also stated that Etynre and his wife Irmgard, hadn’t provided for the child financially, arranged to see her, or organised for her to move to the US. Instead, the couple engaged the surrogacy agency for a second time and had twins born via surrogacy who do now live with them.
    Reflections
    There is a lot to think about if you are considering surrogacy, but the Guardian article perhaps highlights, and feeds into, the biggest fear; what if the intended parents and/ or surrogate changes their mind?
    It is not uncommon to catastrophize and jump to worst case scenario, it’s how our brains operate. But these are very real concerns and are quite understandable. Surrogacy in the UK is built around trust and this can be quite a scary concept when you’re worried that you might be left holding the baby, or not holding the baby.
    Surrogacy Rights
    In the UK, the surrogate will always be the legal mother to any child, regardless of biology and even if the child is born in another jurisdiction that will allow the intended parents to be named on the birth certificate. This is often surprising for intended parents to hear. Who will be the legal father, or second legal parent, will depend on whether the surrogate is married, whether the intended parent has a biological link to the child and whether the child was conceived at a clinic. This often means that the legal parents at birth, are not who is intended to raise the child and so parentage needs to be resolved.
    At present in the UK the intended parents must apply for a parental order, which will reassign legal parentage to the intended parents. The surrogate, and her husband if she is married, will need to provide their consent for the order to be made.
    The future of UK Surrogacy
    It is actually very rare for there to be disputes arising from surrogacy arrangements, particularly where everyone has been sensible, and a great deal of thought and preparation has been put in. However, it is is a scary thought to enter into such a life changing arrangement without any legal protection.
    The law is without doubt outdated and needs to provide more protection. There are changes being proposed that would see intended parents recognised as the legal parents from birth and without the need for a court application. There are conditions attached and these changes are still a long way off, but we are making small steps forward.
    These changes would certainly provide much needed reassurance for the intended parents and surrogates.
    Get in touch 
    If you would like advice on your surrogacy rights, or other family law issues, please contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist surrogacy lawyers here. More

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    in Parenting

    Children’s Books About Healthy Eating

    Most parents struggle to get kids to eat healthy. Children can be reluctant to try new things and that includes trying new vegetables and fruits. However, helping your child to develop healthy eating habits is important to their growth and development. It can also have a lasting influence on their adult eating habits. That is why I am happy to bring you this sponsored feature that offers a solution from registered dietician nutritionist, Beth Dunlap. She wanted to make healthy eating choices easier from parents and kids of all ages from toddlers on up. She figured out that children’s books about healthy eating would be the perfect way to get kids on board with wanting to eat healthy so they can grow and get stronger. Not finding what she was looking for on the market, Beth Dunlap decided to write her own healthy eating books for kids which you can find on her Sunny Bites website. I think both you and your children will love her character “Boots the Bear” as he inspires preschoolers to want to try fruits and vegetables.

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    Her new children’s book about healthy eating was feature on Bloom and you can watch the short video clip above to learn more!

    Why Pressure Doesn’t Fix Picky Eaters

    As a dietician nutritionist, Beth Dunlap understood why eating healthy was important to building a healthy body. She also understood that a lot of parental pressure may increase picky eating and make a fussy eater worse. Approach is so important as you don’t want a child to develop negative feelings towards food. Pressure is not the answer. Getting children to buy into trying healthy foods is an important part of the process. Not only does this make feeding kids easier for the parent, it also allows children to think more about what they are putting in their body and begin to make healthy eating choices for themselves.

    How Healthy Eating Books For Kids Can Help

    As a mother, Beth Dunlap discovered how much easier it was to get kids to eat their fruits and veggies when they understood what positive effects these healthy foods have. She knew that children’s books about healthy eating would be the perfect way to help get kids motivated to eat well. Once kids connect with the book character, they learn about the positive effect each fruit and vegetable has on Boots The Bear. Naturally, they want to apply this new found knowledge to themselves so they too can run faster, grow strong teeth, and have good eyesight.

    Beth Dunlap has written a children’s book about eating healthy as well as A Parent’s Guide for raising a healthy eater. Enter for a chance to win a prize pack giveaway on the KidsSunnyBites Instagram page.

    “Hey, Boots the Bear, what do you eat?” [Children’s Book]

    Boots the Bear has a mystery to solve and he needs help from friends. As kids follows Boots on his adventures, they learn how certain foods help fuel the body. Through adorable drawn illustrations of animals your child can connect with Boots the Bear and be interested in learning about how nutrition helps him grow. Through pictures of real children, your child can see that other kids may in fact like strawberries, for instance. Boots the Bear and his friends share how over 25 fruits & veggies plus the 5 color groups help your body grow, run, and play.

    Boots the Bear is ready to answer your child’s question, “Why should I eat my fruits & veggies?” The book includes symbols for each food they encounter such as brain smart, helps build muscles, to healthy heart and more. Boots the Bear shows how each fruit and vegetable helps you grow, run, and play. The symbols help children to connect how these nutrient packed foods help fuel their growing bodies.

    7 Steps to Raising a Healthy Eater: A Parent’s Guide

    Beth knows that feeding young children can be very challenging! She also knows how busy parents can be. That is why she made this super easy to read Parent’s Guide. It is in a magazine style with clear visuals so you can glean a lot of helpful tips and information with a quick glance. Even if you only have time to spare a few minutes here and there, you will learn so much!

    Page 3 of 7 Steps to Raising a Healthy Eater: A Parent’s Guide

    She provides 7 Steps to empower parents with the knowledge they need to help decrease the stress of mealtime. earn what is the flavor window and what age children typically are in the flavor window. Use the “Instead of This, Try This” to learn how to handle real-life situations with your children. Her book makes the enjoyment of meals with toddlers and young kids possible!

    Page 29 of 7 Steps to Raising a Healthy Eater: A Parent’s Guide

    Limited Time Offer: Sign up for her FREE Parent’s Class August 2nd here!

    Healthy Eater Book Bundle

    Get the children’s book “Hey, Boots the Bear, what do you eat?” + Parent’s Guide + Boots the Bear Plush Animal

    I love this healthy eater bundle because it provides the Boots the Bear Plush Animal. I know the power of a stuffed animal with my own son is huge and it really makes the book come alive even more and stay at the front of the child’s mind. The Boots the Bear Plush Animal can even help model trying new foods. The child can role play the bear trying the food and this helps make it more comfortable for them to do so too.

    I recommend this healthy eater bundle 100%. I used this same method of getting kids to understand the health benefits of what they were eating and with my own kids and I can tell you have a two kids that love to try new things and are happy to eat fruits and veggies. I love how her bundle makes the mealtime easy and more enjoyable for for both kids and adults!

    You can learn more or place your order at kidssunnybites.com

    Do you struggle with getting your kids to eat healthy foods? Do you believe in the power of books to help model good behaviors for young children? More

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    in Parenting

    Summer Schedule For Kids [Free Printable]

    The warm days of summer certainly encourage us to relax with family and friends and that should be what summer is all about! While you and the kids transition to a less structure filled days, it can still be helpful have a daily schedule so everyone knows what to expect. Whether you are keeping track of summer camps or just wanting to add some learning time into the week, a free summer schedule template can really help keep you get organized.  Plus, it is always fun to cross things off your to-do list! I hope you find this printable summer schedule for kids useful. I have also included a list of a few things you may want to add to your child’s summer schedule.

    Free Summer Schedule Template

    Summer Schedules- Just click on the image and then click on File from your menus and click print!

    This weekly summer schedule includes the days of the week so they can mark important blocks of time. It also includes a To-Do List section (a great place for chores) and a Project or Activity of The Week (great for older kids to set bigger goals). This weekly planner is one of the best ways to add a little structure to your own summer schedule. From quality time to educational activities to summer fun, this will help you fit it all in! I am a big believer in teaching kids how to schedule and manage their time.

    Plan Your Summer Routine

    It might be tempting to let your kids sleep in really late and float through the day without a schedule for the summer days.  We usually allow this for a week tops and then we switch to a daily routine and a kids summer schedule.  This helps keep them from getting too much screen time or getting bored. I also feel like it is a great way to schedule in summer learning activities.

    My kids and I sit down together to plan our daily routines. Depending on the age of your children, 11 and under you may want to take the lead, 12 and over you may want to let them take the planning lead.  It is a great way for them to learn to organize their time. You can print several of the kids summer schedule templates and fill them out each week or all at once in advance and make additions as things come up.

    You may want to schedule in things like summer camp, reading time, musical instrument practice, chores, nap time or quiet time, and bedtime routine. Believe it or not, your kids will appreciate the structure. Don’t forget to put in some down time for creative play and outdoor fun!

    Sample Summer Schedule

    Make Necessary Appointments

    The summer is a great time to schedule in any doctor or dentist appointments that you can get out of the way while the kids are out of school.  If you take your kids to the dentist during the summer, your dentist’s office should be able to block out time during the day to see all of your kids at once.

    Buying School Supplies

    Use this task to teach your kids about getting the best deals on what they need for the new school year. If you haven’t yet, get a hold of the school supply lists that you’ll need for this project. Throughout the summer, have your children track store ads (found in the Sunday paper) for these items, writing down the store and the best price they can find. To extend the lesson, give them a budget that they need to stay within for their school supplies, and then give them that specific amount of money. Take a family field trip to the stores they’ve written down that have the best prices, and have them buy their school supplies.

    Brush Up Those Reading Skills

    Summer reading is a great activity for kids to keep their reading skills sharp and to teach delayed gratification. Many businesses – like Barnes and Noble, Chuck E. Cheese, and Borders – support local reading with special calendars, resulting in free items and additional special offers once the calendars are completed and turned in.   Find  some summer reads for moms and top picks for kids books. It is a great idea to include 10-45 minutes of reading (based on their age) into your child’s daily summer schedule.

    Don’t Forget To Plan Fun Into The Summer Schedule

    Summer tasks are important, but so is fun time with your family and independent play time. Be sure to plan some fun summer activities for kids, putting corresponding outings onto specific dates of your long-term summer calendar. Make sure to schedule in some time for fun things like playing outside, swimming in the community pool, hitting a water park, or heading to the local children’s museum. Get their input on what they would add to their summer bucket list! Consider easy wins like ice cream nights and free time every Friday as a reward for creating and following a predictable routine.

    My son used the printable kids summer schedule template. My daughter had to out do me and hand make her own bullet journal style schedule. They do learn quickly!

    I hope this free summer schedule template helps you organize your summer break because it always flies by!   These summer schedule planning tips should help you make the most of your summer for both fun activities and getting things done!  This is really a great idea for helping your child learn to become organized as well.  Do you think you will give this printable summer schedule for kids a try? What do you think is the best thing about a daily summer routine for the whole family?

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    Best Summer Jobs For Teens

    Summer Vacation Ideas In The USA

    Summer Camp Checklist More

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    in Children

    Travelling abroad when your kids have a different surname

    It’s peak holiday season for UK families as the schools get ready to close for the six-week break. Travelling with kids can be tricky at the best of times but travelling abroad when your kids have a different surname can be complicated.
    Emma Newman, the Managing Partner at the Stowe Family Law office in Esher shares her first-hand experience and explains what a parent can do in advance to help prevent any issues.
    Many of us are now looking forward to enjoying some time away in the sunshine as the summer holiday approaches but if you have a different surname to that of your child you need to take action to avoid unnecessary stress.
    What is in a surname?
    Women are more likely to have a different surname to their children; some, like me, may be divorced from their child’s father and have remarried taking on a new name, others are married but have chosen not to take their husband’s surname whilst their children do, and of course, there are more and more unmarried couples who have children.
    The checks that are in place at ports, airports and international railway stations are designed to prevent children from being kidnapped and are all very understandable, but they have caused a huge amount of stress, upset and even missed flights for many parents and their children. This can easily be avoided by ensuring you carry the right documents. So, what can you do to ensure your holiday goes smoothly?
    Documents you may need
    Much depends on your particular circumstances but the officials need to be satisfied with your relationship with your child so the documents you may need are:
    Your child’s Birth Certificate:
    This document gives the name of your child, their date and place of birth and will match with the details on their passport. It will also give the full names of both parents at the time of their birth. So be careful; if your name has changed since your child was born you will need to take more documents with you.
    Proof of your change of name:
    This could mean travelling with your Marriage Certificate or a Change of Name Deed. On my last trip abroad I also found carrying an expired passport in the name I held at the time of my child’s birth (and therefore as set out in his birth certificate) was very useful as not only did it show what my name was then but it also had a photograph of me and the Border Official was able to marry up the Birth Certificate, Marriage Certificate and the expired and current passports.
    Prepare your children
    You might also want to warn your children that they may be asked questions directly by the immigration officials and they should not be worried and answer clearly and honestly. This is not the time for them to make jokes.  When I have been stopped at immigration my son was asked who I was, who my husband was, where he had been and how old he was.  It was made very clear that he needed to answer himself and I couldn’t answer for him.
    Consent to travel
    If you are not travelling with your child’s other parent, I would always ensure that you can prove you have their consent to your taking the child abroad.
    If there is a Child Arrangement Order in place which states that the child lives with you, technically you only need to obtain the other parent’s consent if you are going to be out of the UK for more than 28 days.
    However, in every other case, you should have the permission of every other person with parental responsibility for the child. If you don’t have this consent or a Court order, you are committing child abduction.
    I always recommend asking the other parent to sign a consent form before travel or to write a letter setting out their consent. The document should provide the full contact details of the other parent and specific details of the trip including the dates, destination and address. The other parent should sign the form. It is also a wise idea to attach a copy of the other parents’ passport to the consent form.
    Travelling abroad with children can be stressful enough. However, you can minimise some of the costs by ensuring you have enough space in your luggage to pack these multitude of documents. Happy holidays! More

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    in Family Law

    Firm Associate John Kappel Earns Board Certification in Family Law

    DALLAS – Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson is pleased to announce that attorney John Kappel has become Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. 
     
    Mr. Kappel is the firm’s 14th attorney to receive such a distinction, which is earned by less than 1 percent of eligible Texas attorneys. To earn certification, attorneys receive a concentration of continuing legal education and must complete an exam, among other qualifications. 
     
    “Passing the exam to become board certified is a significant milestone,” said firm Managing Partner Brad LaMorgese. “We are especially proud of John’s achievement and the level of commitment he provides to his Family Law clients.” 
     
    Mr. Kappel joined ONDA in 2019 with a practice focusing on divorce, property division, multijurisdictional child custody, and appeals.
     
    “Board certification in Family Law gives your practice that extra credibility with clients and other attorneys,” said Mr. Kappel. “I am honored to join others at the firm in earning that distinction.”  
     
    Mr. Kappel is a graduate of Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law, with an undergraduate degree from Baylor University. A native of Dallas, he is a member of the Dallas Bar Association Family Law Section and Dallas Association of Young Lawyers. 
     
    Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson (ONDA) has served families for more than 30 years. With offices in Dallas, Frisco, Fort Worth and San Antonio, ONDA is one of Texas’ largest Family Law firms. Each partner is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, as well as a member of the Texas Academy of Family Law Specialists.   More

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    in Children

    Stowe talks: How to successfully co-parent

    Join family lawyer Sarah Barr-Young and our special guest Tom Nash, aka Mr Divorce Coach and internationally certified Life, Divorce & Business Coach, as he shares his advice on how to navigate and become a successful co-parent following a divorce or separation.In this free hour-long webinar, Tom will share practical tips and techniques to help you improve how you and our partner co-parent, including:
    Book now
    About the speakers 
    Tom Nash, otherwise known as Mr Divorce Coach, is an internationally certified Life & Business Coach, specialising in Divorce, Separation & Family Coaching. Accredited by the Association for Coaching, he also holds Master Practitioner certifications in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy & more.
    Partnering closely with family law professionals, he offers an alternative support resource for individuals, couples and their families, assisting in multiple disciplines that include but are not limited to:

    Understanding, Managing & Overcoming Negative Emotions (anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, etc.).
    Increasing Confidence & Self-Esteem
    Fostering Improved Communications Strategies
    Positive Mindset & Emotional Wellbeing Techniques
    1:1 Coaching
    Couples & Uncoupling Coaching
    Co-Parenting & Blended Family Coaching

    On a personal front, Tom has experienced divorce, co-parenting and the related ups and downs from a young age. First, during his parents’ acrimonious divorce at the age of 3 years old, and later in life as husband and father of his own marital breakdown. He is a successful co-parent, step-father and blended family specialist.
    Sarah Barr-Young is the Managing Partner of our Ilkley and Leeds offices and has far-reaching family law experience. She is widely regarded for her expertise in complex cases involving allegations of domestic abuse and safeguarding issues. She is frequently chosen for her empathy and unrivalled approachability, and as such, a large majority of her clients choose her due to personal recommendations. More

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    in Parenting

    A Look At The Role Of A Father

    The roles of the father in the family have been changing a lot over the last century. Fathers are no longer just the breadwinners while mothers are just the caregivers. The role of the modern dad has shifted and changed. It is time to acknowledge the caring moments of fatherhood that often go overlooked. It is worth remembering just how much dads do and how important they are in the creating a happy family. From both the perspective of a mother and a child, I know just how much I appreciate my husband and my dad and how important the role of a father is.

    What Is The Role Of A Father? Responsibilities of The Modern Dad

    The roles of dads are evolving over time. Today’s modern dad in the United States Of America is more involved with childcare and home responsibilities that in previous generations when these things were considered the mother’s “responsibilities.”

    According to Pew Research Center’s Modern Parenthood study, fathers in 1965 spent only 2.5 hours a week on childcare. With fathers today, that number has jumped to about 7 hours.

    “Wow, 7 whole hours” you’re probably saying, sarcastically. “Start the parade.” But evolution is a process, and the generations of boys we are raising might do even more.

    So what’s changing?

    The era of after work dinners and drinks have been cut downwomen are delegating family tasks to their spouses (more than their mothers did)more men are staying home with their children (more SAHDs than ever)technology is enabling work flexibilitymore women are staying in the workforce – in fact, 40% are the family breadwinner.

    The Role Of Father In Family Is Important

    Involved fathers make a huge difference in children’s lives. There is no question that the role of the father has a huge and direct impact on the cognitive development, social development, and emotional development of the child. A good father no doubt provides children with a leg up in life as he helps prepare the child to be a positive part of the community. This not to take anything away from single parents but when two good parents can be had, it just doubles the child’s support system.

    Contributing To Financial Stability

    Modern dads have so many roles to play. I know that many dads have the role of bringing home the bacon. Let’s face it, that is a pretty important role whether he is the sole bread winner or not. Dads are all about making ends meet and making our dreams come true. From what becomes expected (like putting meals on the table and a roof over our heads) to saving for college, our dads deserve our gratitude. But dads don’t just help provide financial security and increased financial power. Not by a long shot.

    Taking Part In Household And Childcare Responsibilities

    Father involvement in sharing household and childcare responsibilities is an increasing circumstance for today’s families. Today’s fathers are playing more of an equal parenting role. It’s parenting in the sense of presence and not just a paycheck. Modern dads are finding themselves doing the “juggling” of personal and professional responsibilities that women have been doing for years. And they’re realizing how challenging this really is.

    Dads Finding More Family Time

    Modern dads want to be more present and this means more family time. They want to know their kids better– from birth. Our society and culture have encouraged this. Active participation from early childhood has become the norm. My father’s generation was allowed in the delivery room, could even cut the cord and call the gender. Today’s generation of dads are (often) offered paternity leave and childcare benefits as well. Dads are increasing the father’s role for their children emotionally from the mundane to heart stopping moments. When dads take a positive active role in parenting young children, they are creating better bonds and improving social competence which a recent study shows may be related to reducing behavioral problems.

    The Father As A Role Model

    Dads wipe our little baby butts when we are in diapers, wipe our noses, and teach us how to wipe after ourselves! Dads do a lot of the care giving in a household from providing snacks for junior to helping get homework done. They are teachers- by words and by example. Dads teach manners. Dads teach responsibility. Dads teach a healthy respect of authority and following the rules. Fathers get dirty with us as they show us how to play sports and wet with us as they show us how to swim. Dads impart family values and morals through the life that they live and the reminders that they give. They are excellent role models and they contribute to our idea of what healthy relationships look like. A responsible father helps show kids the right way to do things through his own actions.

    Dads Are Life Coaches Too

    Fathers who are present during the young child’s life and offer emotional support, will naturally be someone they turn to for advice. Dads give us aim. Not just with a baseball either. They help us figure out what we aspire to be and help find a path to achieve our dreams. Dads pay for music lessons. Dads line up college campus visits. Fathers talk to us about career choices. Fathers give us relationship advice.

    Dads In Two Parent Families

    In an ideal situation, the fathers’ roles also include being a loving partner. The close relationship that the father and mother have then offers emotional security to the child. The positive effects of a loving relationship are so many they certainly effect the lives of children in so many different ways. Not having to deal with the toxic stress of constantly fighting parents is itself a huge benefit. The positive impact of a close partnership of parents can also be seen as children learn to communicate better, to resolve conflicts better, and to offer compassion and understanding. This positive model helps children develop better relationships in their own lives.

    Many Modern Dads Are Step Fathers

    Let’s not overlook the role of a good step dad in child development to step up and be the replacement dad and/or additional dad to the biological father. Both roles are challenging. A friend once told me of her second husband stating that she admired him so much for being able to step up and fill in the hole her first husband had left in her life and in her children’s life. Now, that is a beautiful thing.

    Conclusion

    The role of a father is ever evolving. Fathers of previous generations may have felt less responsible for child’s development and more isolated in the role of providing financial support. Today’s dads have the opportunity for active involvement in the lives of their children. There’s still time to define your role as the modern dad. 

    Let’s face it. A father’s role to ultimately to be there for his child and provide guidance and support. We should let dads know that we notice everything they do and we are thankful for all of it. I know that my father contributed to making me the person I am today in many ways. I know that my husband’s role as a father is something that I am thankful for. That is why I try to show my gratitude every day. A good dad makes his family’s life better everyday and above all- his love is felt- and returned!

    Share your thoughts about how the modern dad is evolving in the comments. Did I miss any of the roles of the father in the family? Discuss it with me on social media @familyfocusblog!

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