Evelyn Reynolds

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    in Children

    A complete guide to no-fault divorce

    As no-fault divorce draws closer we look at how this family law reform will work, what has changed, and what the benefits are.

    What is no-fault divorce?
    No-fault divorce is the name given to the divorce law reform being introduced in April 2022 in England and Wales that removes the need for blame as a basis for divorce.

    What was divorce like before no-fault divorce?
    Previously, even if both partners mutually agreed that the marriage was over, no wrongdoing had taken place, or both parties were equally ‘at fault’, there was a legal requirement to assign blame to just one party if they wished to divorce in under two years (the minimum separation period).
    Based on the five grounds for fault-based divorce, couples had to spend a minimum of two years separated before they could file for divorce. The alternative was to cite behaviour or adultery as their grounds for divorce to demonstrate that their marriage had irretrievably broken down, but they then had to assign blame to one party, making allegations and disclosing the full details in their divorce application.

    What were the five grounds for divorce?

    Behaviour – The most common grounds for divorce as it covered many types of ‘unreasonable behaviour’ and, while details of the behaviour were necessary, it didn’t require admission from your ex-partner.
    Adultery – which included the need for either your ex-partner to formally admit to sex with someone else , or for you to prove it had occurred. In addition, the law’s definition of adultery only referred to opposite-sex affairs, so could not be applied if your ex was in a same-sex relationship.
    Separation, two years – You have lived apart for two years, and the other party consents to the divorce.
    Separation, five years – In this case, the consent of the other party to the divorce is not required.
    Desertion – fundamentally different to separation; it referred to abandonment.

    How is no-fault divorce different?
    With no-fault divorce the only ground for divorce is that your relationship has ‘irretrievably broken down’. No other justification is needed to grant divorce.
    You are no longer required by law to apportion blame to either you or your ex, fit your reasons for separation into one of the five reasons for divorce, formally accept blame if a divorce petition has been made against you, or provide proof of wrongdoing to support your application. You will also no longer be able to contest a divorce if you are the respondent.
    In addition, under the new divorce law, if you and your partner both agree that your marriage has broken down irretrievably, you will be able to make a joint application for divorce.

    Why is no-fault divorce being introduced?
    Every relationship is unique, as are the reasons that marriages breakdown. Often the reason for the end of a marriage is the accumulative result of a combination of factors felt by both parties, rather than the deliberate actions of just one.
    To have to distil years of unhappiness into one crystallised reason, and attribute blame to just one party, is unconstructive at best and can destroy what’s left of the relationship at a time when cooperation is needed most.
    No-fault divorce paves the way for amicable collaboration, rather than conflict and stress, helping to reduce the overall mental health impact of separation and ease negotiations. It means parties can find a way to both move forward positively, and allows them to focus on the central issues, such as children, finances, and property.

    How does no fault divorce work?

    Under the new law you, or you and your spouse, can make an application for divorce on the grounds that your marriage has broken down irretrievably.
    After a minimum of 20 weeks, the applicant(s) can confirm that they wish to proceed with the divorce.
    The court can then make a Conditional Order (previously called a Decree Nisi).
    After a minimum of 6 weeks, the court can make the Final Order (previously called a Decree Absolute).

    How long will a no-fault divorce take?
    While the new divorce process can take a minimum of 26 weeks, this does not factor in the time needed for administration, processing, and negotiations.
    It was estimated that a typical uncontested fault-based divorce could take anywhere between six to eight months, and it is expected that the no-fault divorce process will take a similar amount of time.

    What are the benefits of no-fault divorce?
    Divorce is difficult enough without the need to assign blame, which ultimately only makes things more difficult.
    No-fault divorce means:

    You no longer need to navigate agreeing which one of you should be ‘blamed’
    You don’t need to air the sensitive details that led to the end of your marriage
    There’s no need to gather enough unpleasant behaviour to qualify as ‘unreasonable’
    Respondents can no longer contest the application (although there will still be some reasons why the courts ability to deal with the divorce can be challenged)
    Conflict is reduced and puts couples in a better position to move forward
    Domestic abusers cannot contest divorce, effectively trapping their spouse
    Relationships are more likely to be amicable between parents post-separation, creating a more positive home environment for children
    Couples no longer have to wait 2 or 5 years to evidence prolonged separation, allowing them to move on sooner
    As before, no divorce and dissolution applications can be made during the first year of marriage.

    Are there any disadvantages of no-fault divorce?
    The aim of no-fault divorce is to make the divorce process simpler and less harmful to relationships. However, in some cases, apportioning blame can feel just and a way to hold an ex-partner accountable for wrongdoing. For example, in cases where one partner has committed adultery, or has been abusive, the no-fault based divorce process provides a way for them to divorce without the partner at fault accepting responsibility.

    Will a no-fault divorce affect what I am entitled to?
    No. Even before no-fault divorce, it was rare for the circumstances that led to separation to have any impact on the outcome of the divorce, such as division of financial assets and property or child arrangements. This will not change under no-fault divorce.
    However, it’s likely that by avoiding the need for blame couples will be able to reach amicable and mutually favourable agreements more easily.

    How will no-fault divorce affect financial settlements?
    No. Divorce does not automatically end a couple’s financial commitments to each other. It’s vital that divorcing couples resolve their finances by reaching a financial settlement which is then transferred to a legally binding court order. No-fault divorce will not change this or impact the outcome.
    Reaching a financial settlement can take time and it’s hoped that the introduction of the 20 week ‘cooling off’ period within the no-fault divorce process will allow parties ample time to resolve the finances of their marriage before the divorce is finalised.

    How will no-fault divorce impact child arrangements?
    Parents who divorce must come to an agreement about what’s best for their children. A Child Arrangement Order covers who the child/children will live with and how and when they will see each parent.
    No-fault divorce will have no impact on any Child Arrangements Orders and will not affect how the court considers what is in the best interests of the child. With reduced acrimony and conflict, no-fault divorce paves the way for a more positive future for families with divorced parents.
    Reaching an agreement on child arrangements can take time and it’s hoped that the introduction of the 20 week ‘cooling off’ period within the no-fault divorce process will allow parties ample time to explore and resolve before the divorce is finalised.

    When does no-fault divorce become law?
    No-fault divorce will begin on Wednesday 6th April 2022. From that date, the no-fault based process will apply to all divorce applications in England and Wales.
    Find a list of no-fault divorce key dates here.

    Get in touch
    For more information on no-fault divorce please do get in touch with our Client Care Team using the details below or make an online enquiry More

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    in Parenting

    Scared of The Dark [How To Solve This Common Problem]

    Somewhere after the long days and months of late-night feedings and diaper changes, and dealing with crying babies, you might experience a new kind of trial. Young children are often afraid of the dark. This fear primarily manifest itself as a kid who doesn’t want to go to sleep. The question then becomes why are kids scared of the dark and how to help them get over fear of the dark. Don’t worry this is a phase that can be handled so you can both get back to your respective beds! Here is advice to share with your children on how to not be scared of the dark.

    Why are kids scared of the dark?

    You’ve probably seen movies, where there’s a young child who’s absolutely convinced that a monster is hiding in his closet or under his bed, and refuses to go to sleep. It turns out that kids often have a fear of the dark and/or a fear of monsters hiding under the bed. This means they they often don’t want to go to bed by themselves or at least without a light on. It seems to be a common phase most children go through. Why is this the case?

    Well, darkness means we have very limited visibility. This is where the fear begins to creep in. I remember thinking I won’t be able to see what is coming for me. This is precisely the reason that fear of the dark seems to be hardwired into us. In fact, according to Science Alert, “our fear of the dark is an evolutionary trait that we picked up to survive real-life predators stalking the night”. This means it is entirely natural and normal for kids to be scared of the dark.

    Add to their fear of the dark the fact that children have excellent imaginations and you can see how they may imagine that the darkness is concealing monsters or attackers. Their minds create excellent realistic images of the things they think of. This can be very frightening for kids to overcome. They feel they need a light or an adult to protect them from lurks in the darkness. Extra sources of darkness and fear maybe the closet or under the bed.

    Secrets For How To Not Be Scared Of The Dark

    If this all sounds familiar, I have some advice on how to deal with kids who are scared of the dark. They need reassurance that this is a normal phase they will get past. You can explain to them that you will help your child overcome their fear of the dark. Tell them you will share your secrets for how to not be scared of the dark. This will help them buy into the whole process.

    Take Comfort: It’s Probably Just a Short Phase

    Most children are only scared of the dark for a little while. However, it may feel like an eternity when you are currently living it. Luckily most kids, find this is a short stage that they’ll grow out of. But there are still things you can do to help them get over their fear of the dark.

    A big reason why kids end up scared of the dark, or believing there are monsters under the bed, is because they have wild, active imaginations. It’s not hard to believe that the rough, dark outline of a sweater is actually a terrifying goblin ready to strike. That is, if you’re a toddler.

    I found that one of the best things to do is to stick to only calm, soothing TV shows and entertainment before bed. It should be happy, upbeat stuff. Have you ever noticed how dark and scary most Disney movies are in some places? When they lay down for bed, they will likely begin to think of the things they saw or read during the day. So make sure they are getting activities right before bed.

    Only say calming things right before bed. Leave off things like, “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Don’t say things like, “You have a big day tomorrow.” Try things like “Sweet dreams.” Say things like, “I love you and I will see you in the morning.”

    How to get over fear of the dark with a bedtime routine that works!

    Create a bedtime routine.

    Setting up a bedtime routine is crucial. What you do here is up to you, but some ideas could be: a nice bedtime story, a warm bubble bath, singing lullabies and even just sitting in bed with him until he falls asleep. A consistent bedtime routine works wonders!

    Here are several more ideas for you if you need some extra help. Try them out and see which work for you.

    Get a night light.

    A nightlight can do wonders for making them feel more secure. They’re really cheap and you can find one at Target, Walmart, or even a dollar store for a few bucks. You can also try a motion activated night light so it only comes on if something moves. Nothing is moving if it is not on! Or a solar powered one that will cut on and off automatically with the darkness is great for older children who still need a bit of reassurance.

    Leave the door ajar.

    Leaving the door open slightly could be helpful. Not being completely isolated in the room does a lot to ease their anxiety and worries.

    Play soothing music. 

    Soft, gentle music or using a nice sound machine can help, too. Complete silence can make matters much worse for a kid who’s scared of the dark. Soothing music can help keep their imaginations calm.

    Sleep training clock.

    These types of clocks feature lights that tell kids when it is time to get up and time to sleep (parent sets those times). They also have night lights and soothing music built in so they perform many functions at once. The Mella Ready to Rise Children’s Sleep Trainer clock is the most popular on Amazon and has a 4.5 star rating with almost 15,000 reviews. Affiliate link below.

    Reassure them.

    Simply tell them that there’s nothing to be scared of. There are no monsters or demons lurking in their bedroom, and nothing is going to hurt them. You are right next door if they really need you.

    Calm them.

    Use DIY lavender pillow spray to help them feel calm and relaxed and talk them for a bit as they get sleepy.

    Give them a stuffed animal.

    A stuffed animal can sometimes serve as a trusted friend to watch over them and keep them safe. Plus, just cuddling will help them feel soothed. If you happen to have a cooperative cat or dog, they make serve to make your child feel less alone and vulnerable.

    Set Up A Check Up. Tell them you’ll come to check on them every 5 minutes. Then, you start to space it out more: to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, and hopefully they’ll be asleep before long.

    Share the bed, if need be.

    Letting them share a bed with you isn’t always an awful idea. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand. A better idea is to stay in their bedroom. That way, they don’t get used to the idea of staying in yours. You can leave when they fall asleep and you are reinforcing the idea that there’s nothing to be scared of in their room.

    Summing Up Ideas To Conquer Night Fears

    In conclusion, nighttime fears are very common in young children, and sometimes there’s nothing we can do to make them go away. For most kids, it’s just a phase they’ll quickly grow out of. We just need to help them along the way a little bit.

    Just try to have patience and not loose your cool. I know it can be frustrating to deal with, but it’s important to keep calm. Don’t get upset at your son or daughter! With a little patience and understanding, and positive reinforcement, I’m sure they’ll be over their fears before you know it!

    Do you have any other tips or tricks to help toddlers who are scared of the dark? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

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    How To Make A Toddler Bedtime Routine

    The Lifetime Benefits of Bedtime Rituals

    How To Be A Good Mom More

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    in Children

    Routes to single parenthood explained

    Single parenthood
    For so many people, becoming a parent is not easy, whether it’s because they’re in a same-sex relationship, have had alternative priorities until now, or have experienced fertility challenges. But what if you are single, and either haven’t found a partner yet, or you have made the decision to become a solo parent? Happily there are alternative routes to parenting. In fact, it is becoming increasingly common for people who haven’t had children yet, and are single in their 30s and 40’s, to seek alternative routes to parenthood.
    So, what are your options if you want to become a parent while single? Liza Gatrell, Senior Solicitor at Stowe Family Law explains more.
    Adoption
    One route to parenthood for single parents is adoption. You can apply for adoption as a single man or woman. The eligibility criteria for adoption in the UK is quite broad. You can apply to adopt in the UK if:

    You are over 21 (there is no upper age limit)
    You have not have been convicted of any “specified offences”, which are offences against children and sexual offences
    You must have a fixed and permanent home in the UK and have lived in the UK for at least 1 year before you begin the application process.

    Your suitability also needs to be approved by an adoption agency. This means that a range of factors will be considered when establishing your eligibility for adoption, such as your age and health – agencies will expect you to have the health and vitality to see children through to independence, support network, religion, financial circumstances and ethnic background.
    Surrogacy
    Since the 3rd January 2019 a change in the law has meant that parental orders can be applied for by single parents. A parental order gives legal parenthood to the intended parents of a surrogate child and extinguishes the parental status of the surrogate. For a single intended parent to be able to apply for a parental order it is a requirement that they are the child’s biological parent, which inevitably will exclude some people.
    For single intended dads, if your surrogate is married then under current law her spouse or civil partner will automatically be recognised as the child’s second legal parent and you cannot be named on the initial birth certificate. If your surrogate is not married, then you can be the second legal parent and immediately be named on the birth certificate. Either way you will still need to make a parental order application to extinguish the surrogate’s parental status.
    For single intended mums, the surrogate will always be the child’s legal parent at birth, even if you are the biological mother and named on a foreign birth certificate. The biological father will also be the legal father if no Human Fetilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) clinic forms are signed.  If a HFEA clinic is used, and the surrogate is not married/ does not have a civil partner, then the intended mother can be nominated as the other parent by using specific forms.
    Donor Conception
    Whilst this isn’t an option for everyone, many single women turn to sperm donors each year to make parenthood a reality.
    In the UK sperm (and egg) donation services are provided by HFEA regulated fertility clinics, but there are also donor-matching websites, and some people do make their own arrangements.
    If you use a HFEA clinic then donors will be screened, donors can only be paid for their expenses, each donor can donate to no more than 10 families, donors and parents must be offered counselling and the donor can withdraw their consent up to the point they are transferred into someone else’s body.
    An important difference between using a HFEA clinic and a private arrangement, is the legal status of the donor. If a HFEA clinic is used, then the donor has no legal rights towards the child. Information is kept on record and anyone over the age of 16 can ask the HFEA whether they were conceived with donor eggs or sperm at a clinic in the UK after 1991 and request any non-identifying information held. Some donor-conceived people can also ask for identifying information about their donor once they are 18. This will apply to all conceptions from the 1st April 2006.
    If you choose to use a known donor then it is advisable to have a pre-conception agreement drawn up. This allows you to have very open and honest discussions and set expectations before conception takes place. Most disputes are born from mismatched expectations. Whilst such an agreement is not legally enforceable, they set out clearly what the intentions were and can carry weight in court.
    If you use a known sperm donor, and don’t go through a HFEA clinic, then the law will dictate who the legal parents will be. The birth mother is always the legal mother and must be registered on the birth certificate, the other legal parent is either their spouse/ civil partner or possibly the biological father. As a single mother using known donor sperm, you will need to decide whether to register the second legal parent on the birth certificate, which means that they would then share parental responsibility automatically.
    Co-parenting partnerships
    If the idea of being a single parent is not for you, then a co-parenting partnership could be the answer. Instead of becoming single parents by choice, this growing trend means that singles meet online with the sole objective of raising a child together platonically.
    There are a variety of websites, such as Modamily and Co-Parent Match, which assist those who are ready to become a parent but either don’t want to use sperm banks or are looking for someone to co-parent with.
    You may know a choose to enter into such an arrangement with a friend. If you are considering going down this route then I recommend that you do your homework, especially if your co-parent is someone you have not known for a long time. As many separated parents will tell you, co-parenting across two households takes a lot of communication and shared values so ensure that you are both on the same page.
    Get in touch
    For more information on alternative routes to parenting, please do get in touch with our Client Care Team using the details below or make an online enquiry More

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    in Parenting

    How To Encourage Imaginative Play

    Playing with toys that encourage imagination and pretend play, is not only fun for kids but it can also be a means for their growth and development. When your child acts out a scene between their dolls, they are exploring the possibilities of behavior. The are realizing that imagination and creativity are good things. They are learning to be free in their own minds. Imaginative play helps children explore possibilities.

    “In the world of child development you may hear us use phrases like ‘critical thinking skills’ and ‘creative problem-solving abilities’ when referring to our goals for your child’s cognitive development. What we are really talking about is… imagination”. –Childtime.com

    Encouraging Imaginative Play

    If you want to encourage imaginative play in your child, it is often as simple as allowing them to imagine things instead of accidentally belittling their imagination. If your child is engaged in flying their airplane around the room, and you ask them why they are being silly, they learn that type of imaginative behavior isn’t valued. Other examples of imaginative play may include using a cardboard box as a race car or having a pretend tea party. This type of fantasy play should be encouraged.

    Perhaps, the very best way to encourage imaginative play for toddlers, is to engage in it with them. Set your adult worries aside and embrace your imagination. It doesn’t have to be complex. When my kids were little and they were having bath time, I once used my fingers as puppets because there were no bath toys. That tradition took root and we all have our very own finger puppets, each with their own name and personality. We role play conversations and events and have fun being silly. They know anything they can dream up is interesting to me. They know pretend play can be silly and fun and that it has a special place. The values of such imaginative play are many.

    Benefits of Imaginative Play

    Physical play has always been an important part of a child’s development. They need active play to develop their bodies. In the same way, children’s pretend play helps them to develop their minds. It is through play that their imaginations can be expressed in a vivid manner. A playful manipulation of ideas can actually develop their senses, way of thinking, and values. It gives children a chance to try out different roles that they may have in the future.

    This type of play can also help them develop their social skills and language development. Creative play allows them to practice social interactions and when they do so with others they can see the results of their social behavior in a safe setting. In this way, they begin to learn self-regulation skills. If you observe a child engaged in imaginative play, you may get a clue to the things they are thinking about and insight into any positive or negative feelings they may be processing.

    Many toys today are made in such a way that they help enhance children’s development. Toys that encourage imagination may not only help a child’s social development and cognitive skills but they also enhance his language skills as well. Very good examples of educational toys that encourage imagination can be found below.

    Imaginative play is extra important for preschool age children as well as early school-agers. In Scientific American, Jerome L. Singer and Dorothy G. Singer state that, “Systematic research has increasingly demonstrated a series of clear benefits of children’s engagement in pretend games from the ages of about two and one half through ages six or seven.” 

    Imaginative Play Toys

    Here are five good choices of toys that encourage imagination but there are many, many more options.  Think of leaving out the toys that need batteries to encourage pretend play.

    Kids Play Kitchen

    Young children love to participate in various activities. They often would ask what you’re doing in the kitchen and much as possible try to do it themselves. Kids play kitchen are just the right toys that encourage imagination in children. Play kitchens will teach them basic household chores and responsibilities like washing the dishes, and even develop their interest in cooking or baking. Some of these play kitchens already comes with a counter, a grill or burner, an oven, ice maker, a few cupboards, cabinets, towel racks, refrigerator, storage spaces, and a sink just like a real kitchen would look like. Others also include some toy kitchen utensils like plates, cups, spoons and forks, knives, pans, and with toy foods like fruits, vegetables, and meat.

    Pretend Play With Dolls

    Dolls are a very popular toys that encourage imagination as well as the dollhouses that come with dolls. Children often like to mimic what their mothers or older women do in taking care of babies. Dolls, mini-dolls and dollhouses are also excellent ways in teaching children close family ties and taking care of members in the family or society. This type of make-believe play is great for testing out different scenarios and developing emotional intelligence.

    Workshop Play Set

    The best way to enhance your child’s motor skills and interest in arts is by exposing them to various handcrafting activities. The workshop play set is just the perfect toy to encourage imagination and enhance their different abilities. This set will definitely develop their imagination to create new things and understand how things work. Most workshop play set already includes a table, a bench, and some materials and safe tools for building.

    Medical Play Set

    For kids, pretending to be a doctor would be fun especially when playing with friends or even with dolls. A medical play set can include a doctor costume and a handbag where all medical accessories are placed like a toy stethoscope or thermometer. These are toys that encourage imagination and teach kids about teamwork and leadership.

    Open Ended Building Blocks

    Another of the great imaginative play toys are building blocks. From wooden building blocks for younger children to Legos (without the instruction booklets) for older children, they can be great for open-ended play. Some of the benefits of imaginative play of this type are that they learn principles they can apply in real life. They learn that sometimes things fall, and that sometimes we have to try again and again to get things the way we imagine them. They also learn that building things takes time and focus. Play time is full of life lessons! Blocks are a great way for kids to test different ideas and learn how things work.

    Conclusion

    Don’t underestimate the power of good toys that encourage imagination in developing the minds and skills of your children. Their toys may be an initial step to what they will become in the future. Their early childhood games may allow them to become creative individuals which typically make great problem-solvers.

    I hope you found this interesting and were convinced of the important benefit of early pretend play. Kids can use anything for imaginative play from open-ended toys to imaginary play friends. The imaginary world is calling! What are your favorite toys that encourage imagination?

    Related Posts:

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    in Parenting

    How To Increase Breast Milk Naturally At Home

    Breastfeeding mamas often place a lot of emphasis on how much milk they are producing and tend to worry about whether it is enough for their baby. Keeping track of nursing sessions or pumped bottles can be stressful! However, it’s helpful to consider the quality of your milk in addition to your breast milk production quantity. In most cases, your body does a fantastic job of including all the nutrients your little one needs. This is assuming you are taking good care of your own health and body. Here are five suggestions for how to increase breast milk naturally at home.

    These breastfeeding tips from one mom to another are meant to help your body perform its best. However, this article is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is important to speak a qualified doctor if you have any concerns about yourself or your baby’s health or weight. Furthermore, you may also find a professional lactation consultant helpful.

    5 Breastfeeding Tips For Producing More Milk For Your Baby

    We’ve rounded up a few helpful tips on how to produce more breast milk—hopefully putting your mind at ease and assisting you in having a long, successful breastfeeding journey! 

    If you have a breastfed baby, fed either by nursing or pumping, milk production is probably at the forefront of your mind. These easy-to-incorporate tips should help with both breastmilk amount and composition. It is a common concern for a new mom to worry about low milk supply. The good news is that there are natural ways to boost production of breast milk.

    1. Increase Milk Removal.

    The number one solution for how to produce more breast milk is increased milk removal. More milk removal can be done by nursing more often or pumping more often. Pumping can refer to an electric breast pump or a hand held breast pump.

    Milk production is based on supply and demand. If you skip a pumping or nursing session and milk isn’t removed from your breasts, it signals to your body that it doesn’t need to produce as much. Similarly, your body is signaled to produce more if you increase removal! The key is to remember to achieve a “let down” with each removal. A letdown is the trigger your body needs to maintain or increase its supply.

    Try offering a nursing session more often, or adding additional pumping sessions. You can find out more about how often you should nurse or pump for your child’s specific age by talking with baby’s doctor or lactation expert, and reviewing these guidelines.  

    2. Consider Power Pumping.

    If your baby isn’t interested in breastfeeding more, you can always power pump or pump in between sessions. Power pumping typically follows a set of guidelines. They are: pump 20 minutes, rest for 10, pump 10 minutes, rest for 10, pump 10 mins. You may want to consider adding in a pumping session if you still feel like you have milk leftover after nursing, you miss a feeding, or you simply want to boost your supply. 

    Power pumping essentially fools your body into thinking that the breasts are being drained of milk quickly and often, telling it to make more milk ASAP! Emptying the breast to get that rich hindmilk helps to produce high-fat content bottles as well.  

    3. Focus On A Healthy Diet.

    One of the most important breastfeeding tips for producing more milk is that a well balanced diet is best. Carefully considering your diet can not only help with production but in making your milk fattier too. For mothers wondering how to make breastmilk fattier, think about a typical day of eating. Calorie-rich breastmilk is supported by healthy dietary fats like avocado, salmon, seeds, and eggs.

    You should absolutely be staying hydrated. It is a good idea to have a water bottle handy at all times to ensure you are getting enough fluids.

    You could also consider adding lactogenic foods, lactation treats, drinks, or breastfeeding supplements to increase milk supply. There are various galactagoguesnursing mothers can use, from lactation cookies to lactation teas. Some may be more successful for you than others.  

    Popular dietary additions include: 

    A bowl of oatmealFenugreek seedsFennel seedsGingerBrewer’s yeastAshwagandhaAlfalfaGarlicSpirulinaCumin seedsRaspberry leaf tea

    Safety Notes:

    Blessed thistle and milk thistle are thought to be a good way to boost milk production, however, they are likely unsafe while pregnant. Be sure to check with your obstetrician or pediatrician before ingesting anything if you are pregnant or your baby will be consuming your breastmilk. Also, it is best to try home remedies that you are familiar with first. For example, if a simple bowl of oatmeal might help, then you can avoid trying herbal supplements that you are unfamiliar with. You don’t want to risk an allergic reaction. Therefore, stick to things you know your body does well with.

    Photo Credit: Katie Emslie

    4. Nurse From Both Breasts.

    This tip can be a bit “hit-or-miss,” but it works for some mothers. Generally, you want to drain a breast for your baby to receive the rich, fatty hindmilk. However, if your baby only takes one side at each feeding, your overall supply might be lower. 

    Instead, you can try waiting until your baby naturally slows or stops during a feeding and then offer your second breast. Stimulating both breasts each session should boost your supply. Using an electric double pump can be worthwhile if you pump your breast milk. Simultaneously removing milk from your breasts has effectively increased milk production for some women. 

    5. Get Hands-On.

    If you’re having trouble achieving a letdown while nursing or pumping, you could be failing to remove milk from your breasts effectively. Breast massage and warmth might be able to help! An easy way to do this is with your hands. 

    You can use your hands while you pump with an electric pump. Nursing mothers can use a breastfeeding support pillow to help free up their hands. Then, gently massage your breasts with warm hands. This can help trigger a letdown sooner and relax your body, letting the milk flow. Consider using a warm washcloth or compress on your breasts just before nursing or pumping if this is too tricky. 

    I personally had problems with getting enough milk when I was pumping. Skin contact with my baby was helpful if baby was nearby. When apart, I found that warmth on my nipples before pumping helped a lot. In addition having a photo of my baby close by was the best way to stimulate the let down or even to picture baby in my mind and imagine she was breastfeeding.

    A Bountiful & Beautiful Breastfeeding Journey

    We hope these tips have been helpful in how to increase breast milk naturally at home and improve its quality too. New mothers should also remember to relax as stress is detrimental to milk supply. We know it’s not always easy, but hopefully, your breastfeeding journey will become smoother and less worrisome by implementing some or all of these tips. Know that any amount of breastmilk for any length of time is beneficial. You’re doing fantastic, breastfeeding mama! 

    I wish you a healthy supply of breast milk! Have you tried any of these breastfeeding tips for producing more milk? Which ones work well for you?

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    in Parenting

    Breaking Barriers In Honor of International Women’s Day

    Every year, March 8th is set aside to honor women, girls, and their limitless potential on International Women’s Day. This global day of celebration has been in existence since the early 20th century. It seeks to bring awareness to various causes related to gender equality and women’s rights. International Womens Day is a great way to honor women who have broken bias and allowed us all to have more freedom. It is also a great way to empower young girls and inspire them in breaking barriers to their own success.

    Today I am excited to have Ramita Anand share a guest post with us for International Women’s Day. She is the founder of the educational mentorship program Elevate.RA. She is also the author a new book, Girl Elevated, (my affiliate link is below). This book is the culmination of more than 15 years of work in education and special learning support. She aims to break the cycle of self-doubt and insecurity that hinders girls both personally and academically.

    What Does International Womens Day Mean To You?

    by Ramita Anand

    For the first several decades of its existence, International Women’s Day was celebrated differently in many countries. In 1977, the United Nations adopted it to help turn it into a mainstream global holiday. For the last several years, the organizers have created a yearly theme to help focus advocacy, policy, and charity work. This theme helps create a shared focus or topic that celebrants can rally behind. This is essential since the lives and experiences of women and girls are so different depending on where they live in the world. 

    #BreakTheBias

    This year, the theme of International Women’s Day is breaking biases, and imagining a gender-equal world free of stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination. For many girls, these biases come into their consciousness when they’re young and color their behavior for the rest of their life. Research has shown that many of our most influential biases are already in place before elementary school. Fortunately, they can be unlearned.  

    Helping Our Daughters Unlearn Gender Bias

    In honor of this year’s International Women’s Day, let’s talk about the biases that most affect our daughters. Let’s take a look at how we can empower them to fight against the stereotypes and labels that so often get in the way of their success. 

    One of the biases that I’m so passionate about overturning is that a learning difference or challenge means that a girl cannot succeed in formal education. Even though girls are equally likely to be diagnosed with a learning disability like ADHD or dyslexia, they are less likely to receive specialized treatment under the Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA). It was recently revealed that 18% of male students received special services under IDEA. However, only 10% of female students receive the same.  

    As a parent, you can be your daughter’s advocate to help her get the services she needs. Additionally, there are many programs and tools designed to help girls access their strengths and navigate any anxieties they have around their education. 

    4 Ways to Help Empower Young Girls To Break The Barriers

    There are lots of forces out there in the world trying to tell our daughters that they are less intelligent and less capable than their peers, especially if those peers are male. 

    Many parents struggle to understand how to empower young girls to break down barriers and stereotypes that are unjust. Today, I’ll share some of my best suggestions for ways to empower your daughter and help her thrive, especially if she’s dealing with a learning difference. 

    Be an advocate 

    Many times, girls with learning disabilities don’t find out until later in life because the diagnosing criteria are based on more noticeable symptoms exhibited by boys. If you suspect that your child is having a difficult time and may be struggling with a learning disability, be their advocate until they can get the appropriate help.    

    Involve your child in decision-making as early as possible 

    A great way to help your daughter feel more empowered to tackle her studies despite her learning difference is to get her involved in the decision-making process as early as possible. Explain to her the benefits of specific actions, and show her how they can help. This will help her feel more in control of her own academic future. 

    Keep lines of communication open 

    Encouraging your daughter to share her thoughts and feelings with you on a regular basis will help her develop much-needed emotional intelligence. As you learn more about her day-to-day life and how she is handling her learning disability, it will help you better advocate for their needs. 

    Be positive

    Our kids take many of their cues from us, especially in the early years. If they can see you being positive and forward-thinking instead of giving in to frustration, it will help them model these behaviors in their own life. 

    This International Women’s Day, take the time to reflect on how you can embody the themes of this year. Use them to help your daughter embrace her power.  

    Thanks again to Ramita Anand, founder of Elevate.RA, an educational mentoring service. I hope you found her message to be an inspiration. It is so important to support girls in breaking barriers that are unfair and hinder their success. Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence disproportionately affect our girls. Therefore, I really appreciate her tips for fighting against this common problem.

    I am thankful for all the women who fought to the break the barriers that stood in our way and provide women with equal rights. What does international women’s day mean to you?

    Related Posts:

    Using Stories to Teach Lessons and Inspire Your Children

    Empowering Quotes for Women

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    in Children

    The best books to help children understand divorce

    It is regularly quoted that close to 50% of marriages end in divorce, but for the families behind the statistics it is incredibly new and unsettling. For children, it can be an especially confusing and worrying time. Reading books about divorce and separation with your child is a helpful way to support them through divorce, explain what’s happening now and prepare for the future.
    By exploring the themes through the eyes of other children in age appropriate books they can better understand their circumstances and emotions, and feel reassured that they are not alone, it’s not that fault and that change can be for the better.
    I have seen the positive impact reading can have on children dealing with the divorce process. Here is a list of books that I have used when working with clients and their children:
    Books for older children (recommended 9+)
    The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson
    When my parents split up they didn’t know what to do with me . . . My family always lived at Mulberry Cottage. Mum, Dad, me – and Radish, my Sylvanian rabbit. But now Mum lives with Bill the Baboon and his three kids. Dad lives with Carrie and her twins. And where do I live? I live out of a suitcase. One week with Mum’s new family, one week with Dad’s.
    Deals with: having two homes, blended families
    Goggle Eyes by Anne Fine
    Kitty Killin is not only a good storyteller but also the World’s Greatest Expert when it comes to mothers having new and unwanted boyfriends. Particularly when there’s a danger they might turn into new and unwanted stepfathers…
    Deals with: new partners, step-parents
    Mum, Dad Can You Hear Me? By Despina Mavridou
    Irene, is a 10-year-old girl whose parents are getting a divorce. In the midst of her confusion and helplessness, Irene turns to her diary to express her feelings and better process her parents’ divorce. With the help of her grandmother and her teddy bear she finds a way to make her parents listen to her.
    Deals with: expressing emotions
    Clean Break by Jacqueline Wilson
    Em adores her funny, glamorous dad – who cares if he’s not her real father? He’s wonderful to her, and to her little brother Maxie and sister Vita. True to form at Christmas, Dad gives them fantastic presents, including a real emerald ring for his little Princess Em.
    Unfortunately, he’s got another surprise in store – he’s leaving them. Will Dad’s well-meaning but chaotic attempts to keep seeing Em and the other children help the family come to terms with this new crisis? Or would they be better off with a clean break – just like Em’s arm?
    Deals with: rejection, absence, step-parents
    It’s not the end of the world by Judy Blume
    Karen’s parents have always argued, and lately, they’ve been getting worse. But when her father announces that they’re going to get divorced, it seems as if Karen’s whole world will fall apart. Her brother, Jeff, blames their mum. Her kid sister, Amy, asks impossible questions and is scared that everyone she loves is going to leave. Karen just wants her parents to get back together. Gradually, she learns that this isn’t going to happen – and realizes that divorce is not the end of the world.
    Deals with: family conflict and separation
    Books for younger children (recommended 3-8 yrs)
    Mum and Dad Glue by Kes Gray
    A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. This rhyming story is brilliantly told with a powerful message that even though his parents may be broken, their love for him is not.
    Deals with: coming to terms with parents’ separation
    Where Did You Go Today? By Jenny Duke
    A little girl goes to the park with her dad and has a fantastic time climbing, swinging and sliding: the play transports her to imaginary locations, like sliding down a snowy mountain, sailing on a roundabout ship out to sea and racing on a camel in the desert while bouncing on her ride-on playground animal. Finally, it’s time for dad to take her home and say a cheerful goodbye to her and mum.
    Deals with: paternal separation
    The Family Fairies by Rosemary Lucas
    Rosemary’s primary aim was to provide the foundations for other adoptive families to help explain their own remarkable journeys… storytelling to help children understand that families come together in different ways.
    Deals with: the adoption process

    The Invisible String offers a very simple and reassuring approach to overcoming loneliness, separation, or loss with an imaginative twist that children easily understand.
    Deals with: separation anxiety, reassurance
    Two Homes by Claire Masurel
    In this award-winning picture book classic about divorce, Alex has two homes – a home where Daddy lives and a home where Mummy lives. Alex has two front doors, two bedrooms and two very different favourite chairs. He has a toothbrush at Mummy’s and a toothbrush at Daddy’s. But whether Alex is with Mummy or Daddy, one thing stays the same: Alex is loved by them both – always. This gently reassuring story focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them. Two Homes will help children – and parents – embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart.
    Deals with: parents’ separation, moving between two homes
    The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman
    What is a family? Once, it was said to be a father, mother, boy, girl, cat and dog living in a house with a garden. But as times have changed, families have changed too, and now there are almost as many kinds of families as colours of the rainbow – from a mum and dad or single parent to two mums or two dads, from a mixed-race family to children with different mums and dads, to families with a disabled member. This is a fresh, optimistic look through children’s eyes at today’s wide variety of family life: from homes, food, ways of celebrating, schools and holidays to getting around, jobs and housework, from extended families, languages and hobbies to pets and family trees.
    Deals with: change in family dynamics, non-traditional families

    Mum and Dad don’t live together any more. so sometimes this little girl lives with her mum and her cat. and sometimes she lives with her dad. She has two bedrooms and two sets of toys. but she takes her favourite toys with her wherever she goes.
    Deals with: parents’ separation, moving between two homes
    Books for very young children (2+)
    I’ll never let you go by Smriti Prasadam-Halls
    When you aren’t sure, you’ll feel me near,When you are scared, I will be here.When you are high, when you are low,I’ll be holding your hand and I’ll never let go.
    A tender and heartfelt picture book. With reassuring words offering a message of unconditional love, and illustrations bursting with exuberance, warmth and humour.
    Deals with: comfort and reassurance
    Living with mum and living with dad: my two homes
    Mum and Dad don’t live together any more, so sometimes this little girl lives with her mum and her cat, and sometimes she lives with her dad. She has two bedrooms and two sets of toys, but she takes her favourite toys with her wherever she goes. This simple, warm, lift-the-flap book with bold and colourful illustrations is a reassuring representation of separation for the youngest children. Melanie Walsh is sympathetically alive to the changes in routine that are familiar to many children who live with separate parents and are loved by both.
    Deals with: moving between homes, changes to routine
    The Family Book by Todd Parr
    Some families have two moms or two dads. Some families have one parent instead of two. Some families live in a house by themselves. Some families share a house with other families. All families can help each other be strong!
    The Family Book celebrates families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether they’re big or small, look alike or different, have a single parent or two, Todd Parr assures readers that every family is special in its own unique way.
    Deals with: looking at different kinds of families
    Guess how much I love you by Sam McBratney
    Sometimes, when you love someone very, very much, you want to find a way of describing how much you treasure them. But, as Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare discover, love is not always an easy thing to measure. The story of Little and Big Nutbrown Hares’ efforts to express their love for each other.
    Deals with: comfort and reassurance
    Useful links:
    The Book Trust: Best children’s books to help talk about divorce and separation
    Get in touch
    If you need support and advice on getting a divorce, please do get in touch with our Client Care Team at the details below or make an online enquiry More

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    in Parenting

    Parent Chat Videos: Online Parenting Classes For Elevated Results

    So often I have heard people say, too bad parenting doesn’t come with a handbook. While that is true, there are lots of great resources to help you wade through the sometimes murky waters of parenting. I have recently found one such positive parenting resource that really stands out, the sponsor of this post- Parent Chat Videos. If reading is not your thing or you just want to learn more, you will love these wonderful parenting videos that promote Mindful Parenting. The online parenting classes all feature Celeste Gonsalves. She is very personable and has a wonderful way of helping parents connect with children and improve relationships with her elevated parenting tips.

    About Parent Chat Videos

    Parent Chat Videos is a library of online parenting courses created by Celeste Gonsalves. She is a Hawaii native with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Family Resources. She also has a Master of Science Degree in Organizational Leadership.

    Celeste Gonsalves created Parent Chat Videos as a way of sharing positive parenting classes. She is a mother and the author of Teen Wise, a book set that helps guide pre-teens and teenagers to make wise choices. She is an expert on ideas and solutions for mindful parenting that offer better experiences for adults, children and teens.

    Parenting Mindset Shift

    You may have stumbled across this humorous statement before, “If parenthood came with a GPS, it would mostly say ‘recalculating.’”

    Well, that is the idea here. Parent Chat Videos will help you with recalculating by creating a mindset shift so you can employ parenting methods that will produce better results for you and your children. We are talking about making simple changes to achieve new elevated outcomes. 

    Whether you want to call it respectful parenting, elevated parenting, mindful parenting, or positive parenting, you will love her online classes. All of her parenting concepts, approaches, and goals will help you connect and improve communication with your child for better results.

    Parent Chat Videos contains 13 courses covering a variety of topics, along with practical tips in each video that you can implement immediately! Sign up for your free 10 day trial (no credit card needed) at parentchatvideos.podia.com

    Mindful Online Parenting Classes

    Parent Chat Videos currently offers 13 Parenting Courses with 39 video parenting classes and fresh content is added on a regular basis. From baby focused parenting courses to teen focused parenting classes, there are lots of resources for all stages of parenting. She can help you harness the power of positive parenting for children of all ages.

    Celeste Gonsalves believes that we can all make small changes to modify our parenting. She helps you understand your child’s point of view so you can make decisions to better protecting the integrity of your relationships. She helps you understand where they are and how to reach them. Her proven techniques will help you avoid frustrations and reach your desired outcome.

    The online parenting classes cover many different parenting topics. What I really love about these parenting videos is that Celeste Gonsalves is really great about having a clear actionable focus for each video. So she is not talking about esoteric ideas and principles of parenting. She is providing parenting solutions for real problems we all face as parents. She also shares her own real life examples so you can see how these mindful parenting approaches actually work as well as when and how to use them.

    After just one short video, you will probably find yourself a more confident parent already. It is nice to have someone in your corner helping you build effective parenting skills.

    Parenting Goals

    I love how each Parent Chat video has a clear parenting goal. Each online parent class is designed so you can improve parenting situations and fix problems.

    One of my favorite parent classes “Get Your Child or Teen to Talk.” These are both such prevalent problems that almost all parents encounter. Celeste she does such a fantastic job sharing a story and illustrating practical solutions.

    Personal Experience

    Both of my children are teens. I feel myself groping around for questions that will get them to talk. I want them to really open up and share stories and feelings, instead of one word answers. In “Get Your Child or Teen to Talk”, Celeste reminded me of my child’s point of view upon getting in the car after a long day at school. She also clearly understood my point of view as the parent. I appreciated that she knows our battery of questions is our attempt to connect. I also appreciated the reminder that the kiddos may be tired and feel overwhelmed by too many questions, too fast.

    This weekend we did some fun crafting as the video suggested. She had pointed out in the video that if you can get your child engaged in a creative activity, they can relax and open up to listening and sharing more easily. She also suggested opening up and sharing a story to get the ball rolling. Naturally, my kids responded to my story sharing their opinions and questions on the situation. And pretty soon they were sharing their own stories. I found it be much easier to get them chatting about things that were going on at school and books that they were reading with this method. It is so nice to hear their opinions on things. I also know it is an important way to maintain positive relationship where information flows freely.

    Parenting Goal- Connect With Kids While Crafting. My teenage daughter with her battery powered pipe cleaner glow rings!

    A few more examples of online parenting classes I loved:

    Teen’s First Love AND HeartbreakB.O.U.N.C.E coping skill to deal with negative influencesInstant Happy ChildManaging Screen Time

    Parenting Support Group

    Another cool part about Parent Chat Videos besides the videos themselves is that there is a community. This means you have access to online chats for open discussions. You can ask your own parenting questions and get specific help. It is like having a parenting support group that will help you along.

    You will also be able to join the fun of entering the weekly Video Scavenger Hunt contest. All prizes are created and/or designed by authentic Hawaii Entrepreneurs and are worth at least $200.00!

    Sign Up Now For A Free Trial

    Visit Parent Chat Videos and sign up for a FREE 10-Day Trial and get instant access (don’t worry, no credit card is required). 

    Become a Parent Chat Vidoes member and use Coupon Code: FFB20  to get $20.00* off the PCV Monthly Membership Fee!

    Whether you are a married couple or a single parent, we all have busy schedules. Each online course can be completed at your own pace. New parents and experienced parents alike will find this parent education for creating healthy relationships. You can be a peaceful parent and with happy kids and still use positive discipline in an effective way.

    Surprise your children with this unconventional, mindful parenting approach that fosters mutual respect and reduces power struggles. It will help you with personal growth and improve family relationships. You’ll be amazed with the positive outcomes.

    Would you like to be a better parent? Are you looking for home parenting solutions? I think this positive parenting system can help. I hope you enjoy the Parent Chat Videos online parenting classes as much as I do! Let me know some of your favorites! More