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    Firm Associate John Kappel Earns Board Certification in Family Law

    DALLAS – Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson is pleased to announce that attorney John Kappel has become Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. 
     
    Mr. Kappel is the firm’s 14th attorney to receive such a distinction, which is earned by less than 1 percent of eligible Texas attorneys. To earn certification, attorneys receive a concentration of continuing legal education and must complete an exam, among other qualifications. 
     
    “Passing the exam to become board certified is a significant milestone,” said firm Managing Partner Brad LaMorgese. “We are especially proud of John’s achievement and the level of commitment he provides to his Family Law clients.” 
     
    Mr. Kappel joined ONDA in 2019 with a practice focusing on divorce, property division, multijurisdictional child custody, and appeals.
     
    “Board certification in Family Law gives your practice that extra credibility with clients and other attorneys,” said Mr. Kappel. “I am honored to join others at the firm in earning that distinction.”  
     
    Mr. Kappel is a graduate of Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law, with an undergraduate degree from Baylor University. A native of Dallas, he is a member of the Dallas Bar Association Family Law Section and Dallas Association of Young Lawyers. 
     
    Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson (ONDA) has served families for more than 30 years. With offices in Dallas, Frisco, Fort Worth and San Antonio, ONDA is one of Texas’ largest Family Law firms. Each partner is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, as well as a member of the Texas Academy of Family Law Specialists.   More

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    Stowe talks: How to successfully co-parent

    Join family lawyer Sarah Barr-Young and our special guest Tom Nash, aka Mr Divorce Coach and internationally certified Life, Divorce & Business Coach, as he shares his advice on how to navigate and become a successful co-parent following a divorce or separation.In this free hour-long webinar, Tom will share practical tips and techniques to help you improve how you and our partner co-parent, including:
    Book now
    About the speakers 
    Tom Nash, otherwise known as Mr Divorce Coach, is an internationally certified Life & Business Coach, specialising in Divorce, Separation & Family Coaching. Accredited by the Association for Coaching, he also holds Master Practitioner certifications in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy & more.
    Partnering closely with family law professionals, he offers an alternative support resource for individuals, couples and their families, assisting in multiple disciplines that include but are not limited to:

    Understanding, Managing & Overcoming Negative Emotions (anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, etc.).
    Increasing Confidence & Self-Esteem
    Fostering Improved Communications Strategies
    Positive Mindset & Emotional Wellbeing Techniques
    1:1 Coaching
    Couples & Uncoupling Coaching
    Co-Parenting & Blended Family Coaching

    On a personal front, Tom has experienced divorce, co-parenting and the related ups and downs from a young age. First, during his parents’ acrimonious divorce at the age of 3 years old, and later in life as husband and father of his own marital breakdown. He is a successful co-parent, step-father and blended family specialist.
    Sarah Barr-Young is the Managing Partner of our Ilkley and Leeds offices and has far-reaching family law experience. She is widely regarded for her expertise in complex cases involving allegations of domestic abuse and safeguarding issues. She is frequently chosen for her empathy and unrivalled approachability, and as such, a large majority of her clients choose her due to personal recommendations. More

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    A Look At The Role Of A Father

    The roles of the father in the family have been changing a lot over the last century. Fathers are no longer just the breadwinners while mothers are just the caregivers. The role of the modern dad has shifted and changed. It is time to acknowledge the caring moments of fatherhood that often go overlooked. It is worth remembering just how much dads do and how important they are in the creating a happy family. From both the perspective of a mother and a child, I know just how much I appreciate my husband and my dad and how important the role of a father is.

    What Is The Role Of A Father? Responsibilities of The Modern Dad

    The roles of dads are evolving over time. Today’s modern dad in the United States Of America is more involved with childcare and home responsibilities that in previous generations when these things were considered the mother’s “responsibilities.”

    According to Pew Research Center’s Modern Parenthood study, fathers in 1965 spent only 2.5 hours a week on childcare. With fathers today, that number has jumped to about 7 hours.

    “Wow, 7 whole hours” you’re probably saying, sarcastically. “Start the parade.” But evolution is a process, and the generations of boys we are raising might do even more.

    So what’s changing?

    The era of after work dinners and drinks have been cut downwomen are delegating family tasks to their spouses (more than their mothers did)more men are staying home with their children (more SAHDs than ever)technology is enabling work flexibilitymore women are staying in the workforce – in fact, 40% are the family breadwinner.

    The Role Of Father In Family Is Important

    Involved fathers make a huge difference in children’s lives. There is no question that the role of the father has a huge and direct impact on the cognitive development, social development, and emotional development of the child. A good father no doubt provides children with a leg up in life as he helps prepare the child to be a positive part of the community. This not to take anything away from single parents but when two good parents can be had, it just doubles the child’s support system.

    Contributing To Financial Stability

    Modern dads have so many roles to play. I know that many dads have the role of bringing home the bacon. Let’s face it, that is a pretty important role whether he is the sole bread winner or not. Dads are all about making ends meet and making our dreams come true. From what becomes expected (like putting meals on the table and a roof over our heads) to saving for college, our dads deserve our gratitude. But dads don’t just help provide financial security and increased financial power. Not by a long shot.

    Taking Part In Household And Childcare Responsibilities

    Father involvement in sharing household and childcare responsibilities is an increasing circumstance for today’s families. Today’s fathers are playing more of an equal parenting role. It’s parenting in the sense of presence and not just a paycheck. Modern dads are finding themselves doing the “juggling” of personal and professional responsibilities that women have been doing for years. And they’re realizing how challenging this really is.

    Dads Finding More Family Time

    Modern dads want to be more present and this means more family time. They want to know their kids better– from birth. Our society and culture have encouraged this. Active participation from early childhood has become the norm. My father’s generation was allowed in the delivery room, could even cut the cord and call the gender. Today’s generation of dads are (often) offered paternity leave and childcare benefits as well. Dads are increasing the father’s role for their children emotionally from the mundane to heart stopping moments. When dads take a positive active role in parenting young children, they are creating better bonds and improving social competence which a recent study shows may be related to reducing behavioral problems.

    The Father As A Role Model

    Dads wipe our little baby butts when we are in diapers, wipe our noses, and teach us how to wipe after ourselves! Dads do a lot of the care giving in a household from providing snacks for junior to helping get homework done. They are teachers- by words and by example. Dads teach manners. Dads teach responsibility. Dads teach a healthy respect of authority and following the rules. Fathers get dirty with us as they show us how to play sports and wet with us as they show us how to swim. Dads impart family values and morals through the life that they live and the reminders that they give. They are excellent role models and they contribute to our idea of what healthy relationships look like. A responsible father helps show kids the right way to do things through his own actions.

    Dads Are Life Coaches Too

    Fathers who are present during the young child’s life and offer emotional support, will naturally be someone they turn to for advice. Dads give us aim. Not just with a baseball either. They help us figure out what we aspire to be and help find a path to achieve our dreams. Dads pay for music lessons. Dads line up college campus visits. Fathers talk to us about career choices. Fathers give us relationship advice.

    Dads In Two Parent Families

    In an ideal situation, the fathers’ roles also include being a loving partner. The close relationship that the father and mother have then offers emotional security to the child. The positive effects of a loving relationship are so many they certainly effect the lives of children in so many different ways. Not having to deal with the toxic stress of constantly fighting parents is itself a huge benefit. The positive impact of a close partnership of parents can also be seen as children learn to communicate better, to resolve conflicts better, and to offer compassion and understanding. This positive model helps children develop better relationships in their own lives.

    Many Modern Dads Are Step Fathers

    Let’s not overlook the role of a good step dad in child development to step up and be the replacement dad and/or additional dad to the biological father. Both roles are challenging. A friend once told me of her second husband stating that she admired him so much for being able to step up and fill in the hole her first husband had left in her life and in her children’s life. Now, that is a beautiful thing.

    Conclusion

    The role of a father is ever evolving. Fathers of previous generations may have felt less responsible for child’s development and more isolated in the role of providing financial support. Today’s dads have the opportunity for active involvement in the lives of their children. There’s still time to define your role as the modern dad. 

    Let’s face it. A father’s role to ultimately to be there for his child and provide guidance and support. We should let dads know that we notice everything they do and we are thankful for all of it. I know that my father contributed to making me the person I am today in many ways. I know that my husband’s role as a father is something that I am thankful for. That is why I try to show my gratitude every day. A good dad makes his family’s life better everyday and above all- his love is felt- and returned!

    Share your thoughts about how the modern dad is evolving in the comments. Did I miss any of the roles of the father in the family? Discuss it with me on social media @familyfocusblog!

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    Benefits of Bedtime Rituals And Purpose, Passion and Pajamas Excerpt

    Bedtime rituals are important in all phases of life. From helping soothe a new born to sleep, to relaxing bedtime rituals for young children, and the nightly tuck in for older children. Even adults have important bedtime rituals. Whether it is special pajamas, bedtime music, or a bedtime short story, these series of actions let us know that it is time to settle down and relax so that we can welcome sleep. They also help us recognize that we are safe and feel comforted and happy before we settle in for a night full of what we want to be good dreams. For many, thinking back to bedtime in their childhood will help them feel loved and that is a wonderful thing. Here I will discuss a bit about the benefits of bedtime rituals and share an excerpt from a best selling book on the subject.

    The Importance of Relaxing Bedtime Rituals

    Photo by Ben

    There are the parts of our bedtime rituals that are purely functional- brushing our teeth, setting our alarm clocks, etc. They need to be done and in doing them we let our bodies know that it is time to relax and prepare for sleep.

    But the bedtime rituals have the potential to be so much more than just functional! Bedtime rituals can have many benefits and be a source of well being. As a child, bedtime is a special time when you should feel loved and attended to. This helps set the child up for a restful night of sleep, which is important for improved mood, concentration, and athletic performance. Bedtime rituals offer the opportunity to reset with love and support so that the child may rest easy.

    As Psych Central says, “Bedtime is a daily opportunity to build and nurture your relationship with your child. There’s something about a quiet darkened room that invites conversation. This is a time to take stock, to snuggle, to conversation about some of the important things that your child is thinking about. When children know that bedtime is a time when you give a few minutes of undivided attention, they often save up their most sensitive questions for sharing. Yes, sometimes they’ll use it to hang onto you when you really want to get to your own projects or the newspaper. Calmly set some limits and carry on. This is the real stuff of parenting — building your child’s sense of personal value, answering the big questions, teaching your values through stories and conversation.”

    That was so well put I had to include it all! Most parents will tell you that tucking their children in can take awhile but the bedtime connection is special, fun time that should be cherished and has enormous benefits.

    The Sanctity Of Bedtime Connection And Bonding

    I was speaking with Genevieve Piturro who founded the national nonprofit, Pajama Program and she understands firsthand, “the profound meaning of a loving mom at my bedside as I drifted off to dream.” In fact she says that, “it’s this sacred, quiet bonding time that lays the foundation for a child’s self-worth and self-love that gives us the strength to move past obstacles and challenge as we grow into adulthood.” That sounds like a description of good parenting and love and when you think about it, that is exactly what is happening at bedtime when you both slow down together and focus on each other as parent and child.

    Genevieve Piturro has published an Amazon best seller new book called, Purpose, Passion and Pajamas. It is about her journey founding and growing Pajama Program. I am very excited to share with you that I have been permission to share an excerpt form her new book with you here. It’s about how the sanctity of bedtime between mother and child can impact not only the child’s life decisions as an adult, but also impact millions of others as a result.

    Excerpt from:PURPOSE, PASSION AND PAJAMAS: How to Transform Your life, Embrace the Human Connection and Lead with MeaningRiver Grove Books; Illustrated edition (July 28, 2020)By Genevieve M. Piturro

    Purpose, Passion and Pajamas Excerpt

    Her big brown eyes were locked on the pretty pink pajamas I held out to her, but she hesitated to take them.

    “Don’t you want these?” I gently asked.

    She glanced from the pink flannel to the other children who held their new nightwear. At this shelter and after-school program in New York City, there were about 12 children in all, many here because of abusive or absent fathers, or mothers who were battered or headed for drug rehab—or prison. The girl looked cautiously at me kneeling in front of her, ridiculously overdressed in my corporate pantsuit. She turned to watch the other children head to the back room with their garments.

    Then she looked at me again.

    “What are they?” she whispered.

    “They’re pajamas,” I said.

    “Where do I wear them?”

    “To bed at night.”

    She shook her head, puzzled.

    “What do you usually wear to sleep?” I asked.

    “My pants,” she said softly, tugging on her too-tight, too-short,

    dirty pants.

    I tried to make sense of what she’d just said. My mind was racing. Surely, I’d heard her wrong. I needed a minute to rewind our conversation, to put it right in my mind. And I needed to keep from crying before she thought she’d done something wrong. My brain scrambled to steady itself and respond in a way that didn’t show her how shaken I was, how upside down everything had become.

    “Well, now you don’t have to wear your pants to bed,” I said.

    “Tonight, you can wear these soft, pretty pajamas.”

    Her face registered little emotion as she tentatively accepted the gift. A staff member and I found a private place where she could change. In what seemed like slow motion, we watched as the most precious smile appeared on her face, and a tiny giggle escaped. The staffer took her hand and led her into the other room to sleep. Then my tears came. And I let them. I didn’t know it then, but it was in that moment, the most poignant I’ve ever experienced, that Pajama Program was born. With that little girl, I found my true purpose in life, a purpose that would propel me day and night. It was also then that I realized there is enough in this world—more than enough, in fact—to fix situations like this.

    Over the next several weeks, I visited and read with different groups in the New York City area. I quickly realized the emotional impact these children had on me. I was drawn to them in a protective way, and my need to comfort them felt overwhelming. There was something just so right about it all. Every time I had to leave, I had a difficult time finding the right words to say goodbye to the children. I hated these last moments because I felt I was leaving them alone and afraid. I knew most, if not all, of them would be gone the next time I came, and a new set of abandoned or abused children would be listening to me. The prospect was deeply upsetting. I made sure my goodnights were cheerful and warm. I couldn’t let my sad feelings show after filling their heads with so many happy endings. Still, I felt like a fraud, pretending tomorrow might be full of sunshine and happiness when I knew I couldn’t deliver either.

    As affecting as these experiences were for me, I grew restless. I couldn’t stop thinking that maybe I could do more than simply read. I felt guilty walking out after an hour, leaving them with only books and a memory of story time. How much was I really helping? Was it more unsettling to them that I left them, too? Books had always been an escape for me as a child, but the discontentment that made me reach for a book was nothing compared to what these children were hoping to escape. Was I fooling myself thinking I was doing something that made a difference? I continued my visits, reading to the children in a circle on the floor, and looking for a way to do more. Surely I’d find it.

    As a child, I loved the coziness and comfort of bedtime. In addition to the many books she read us, my mom made up her own funny bedtime stories. To this day, one very special story brings tears to my eyes, filling me with so much love and gratitude for my mother who, even now, is the person I want when I can’t sleep. The story is about a little boy eating a candy bar with peanuts when one peanut comes alive and shouts, “Don’t eat me, don’t eat me!” That always made us giggle and demand of our mother,

    “Tell us again, tell us again!”

    All the laughing and hugging tired us out and sleep quickly followed. I was always conscious of our family’s financial limitations, and it was obvious to me that most of my friends had more than I did. We had bag lunches and were rarely given money for hot lunches; we got new store-brand clothes, but only at the start of the school year and again at Easter, and the items were always on sale. But we had one thing in abundance—we had love.

    The Heart of the Matter:

    • Learn from your childhood lessons.

    Life tends to come full circle. I see now it was the foundation of my mother’s love and my parents’ commitment to us—as well as the sacrifices we made—that helped me to see clearly when everything I thought I wanted was challenged. That foundation drove me to find my true passion in pajamas. My mother’s expressions of love helped me identify exactly what was missing in that little girl’s life. And my father’s insistence on education and hard work showed me how to provide not only for myself but also for others—helping me redefine what it means to be a “family.”

    • Examine the way you’ve “always” done things.

    Partly because of my family’s hard work and sacrifices, I sometimes felt I didn’t have enough. As a result, I started out in my career by focusing too much on what I wanted in terms of wealth and material possessions—money, clothes, apartment, travel. Soon the polish wore off those pursuits, however, and I was left unfulfilled. I knew I needed a change.

    • Don’t let tradition hold you back from your true purpose.

    We were raised to work hard and respect our family, and I spent many years fulfilling the role of dutiful daughter in my traditional Italian family, which included having successful career, well-appointed condo, and nice clothes. I had no idea I would need to let those markers of success go when I first stepped into that homeless shelter to read bedtime stories to children. But I did let them go, and that opened the way to being free to pursue new goals, ones that would give my life meaning.

    I hope you enjoyed this inspiring excerpt from Genevieve Piturro’s book, Purpose, Passion and Pajamas. You can learn more about her work or order a copy of her book through her website. This year, the Pajama Program celebrates its 20th anniversary, having delivered more than 7 MILLION magical gifts of new pajamas and new books to children through their 63 chapters across the U.S.

    She has been interviewed on and in many local and national media including most recently, Hallmark’sHome & Family show, OPRAH, TODAY, GMA, The Early Show, CNN, Fox & Friends, O Magazine, Forbes,The Wall Street Journal, and Parenting Magazine. Here is the Oprah clip for your viewing pleasure:

    [embedded content]

    In conclusion, bedtime rituals are the perfect opportunity to establish a wonderful bonding time for parent and child. Relaxing bedtime rituals can help the child destress, feel safe, and feel loved so that they can get the most out of a peaceful night’s sleep and be ready to meet the new challenges in each day. What types of bedtime rituals do you have with your child? Do you think this special bedtime connection helps improve their resilience?

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    How To Be A Good Mom

    With mother’s day approaching, I want to celebrate all the good moms out there. Now, you may be asking yourself, “What makes a good mom?” Well, to me, a good mom is a mom who is trying to do her best. No mom is perfect but when they are trying, they are almost perfect because effort and caring is what we all want, deserve, and need. When I think about what makes my own mother such a good mom, it is because she makes me feel loved through all of her actions and words. She doesn’t do and say every single thing right but no one does. My mom is a good mom because she is there day after day, showing me she cares. Listening to me. Talking to me. Sharing her life with me. Offering advice. Letting me turn it down! Asking my advice. Feeling free to ignore it! Making me laugh. Laughing with me. Loving me. And letting me love her back. For this mother’s day, I want to honor not only my own mom but all good moms. So go ahead moms, pat yourself on the back! I also have a guest author with more advice on how to be a good mom. See if you recognize yourself or your own mother in her descriptions!

    What Is A Good Mom?

    Today, I would like to share some excellent advice on how to be a good mom from author, Meredith Jacobs. She knows a lot about how to a good mom! She is the proud mother of daughter Sofie, who is her co-conspirator in all things Just Between Us, and son Jules, who will commission as a Navy officer in May. Her newest book is JUST BETWEEN US MOTHER & DAUGHTER (Chronicle Books, April 13, 2021). Co-written by mother-daughter duo Meredith and Sofie Jacobs, it is a thoughtful, hands-on keepsake designed to cultivate a deeper understanding, communication, and respect between mothers and daughters.  

    Meredith Jacobs is also the CEO of Jewish Women International (JWI), a 125-year-old organization with a mission to empower women and girls. She works closely with JWI’s philanthropic partners, Sigma Delta Tau national sorority and Zeta Beta Tau national fraternity, developing initiatives like the award-winning Green Light, Go! and Girls Achieve GrΣΔΤness. Jacobs is an award-winning journalist and former editor-in-chief of Washington Jewish Week. She is also the author of The Modern Jewish Mom’s Guide to Shabbat: Connect and Celebrate—Bring Your Family Together with the Friday Night Meal (HarperCollins). As you can see, she has a lot of qualifications to offer advice on how to be a good mom! Without further ado, I am so glad to share with you her guest post.

    How To Be There For Your Kids Through Every Life Phase

    by Meredith Jacobs

    It feels like forever since I’ve written a post about just being a mom. Now that I’m in my early 50s and my kids are 22 and 24, it’s strange to put back on that advice hat. And, I can tell you, it gets so much easier! All that hard work you’re putting in now, when the kiddos are younger, pays off when they turn into amazing young adults, who you not only like, you admire. Oh, and did I mention, you get to do things like make cheese boards and cocktails with them (yes, cocktails). 

    Funny, at the same time it feels like forever ago, it also feels like yesterday. I so clearly remember how much I looked up to the moms who raised incredible young people. Talking to these wise women, who were only one or two steps ahead of me, was how I started on my own parenting writer journey. So, I guess I’m now that slightly older mom. And, I hope whatever I did along the way, might help those of you who are deep in it now.

    You Never Stop Being A Mom

    All that said, I must admit that you never stop being a mom. Never stop worrying. Never stop trying to fix things and smooth paths. Never stop wanting to hear from them, meet their friends, know their life is okay and they are happy. If anything, being the mom to two 20somethings has helped me better understand my mom. I don’t get as annoyed when she complains that I haven’t called enough. In fact, I make a point of calling more regularly now.

    The Best Parenting Tip

    But, even though I just spent three paragraphs writing about the wisdom of other moms, it was my daughter Sofie, who gave me my best parenting tip. When she was 9, she asked if she could write in a journal and if I would read it and write back to her. I mean, amazing, right!?! What an incredible gift! Not only was my daughter letting me READ her journal, she wanted me to respond. (Of course, it wasn’t her actual, super private journal. This was a new one she created specifically to share with me.) But, writing back and forth strengthened our relationship. It let her share things she wanted to talk to me about but felt too awkward to speak. Everything from that first crush on a boy in math class, to mean girls, to puberty — all those things we all go through.

    What I learned from the experience of journaling with Sofie was that I actually listened better when I read. I have a terrible habit of interrupting people when I think I know what they are about to say and I want to swoop in to solve the problem. Trouble is, sometimes our kids don’t want us swooping in with answers. They want to be heard. Fully. So, through our journal, Sofie was able to write everything she wanted to say without my interrupting. And, I got to be more thoughtful when I answered.

    Long story short, that journal turned into a journal other mothers and daughters can share (based on the one we shared). In fact, it turned into a series of journals — for mothers and daughters; grandmothers and granddaughters; sisters, mothers and sons (I also have a son), and now, a new mother-daughter journal, that has stickers and note cards and stencils, and is…adorable.

    What We Can Do With Our Kids

    Scarlet asked me to share ideas of what we can do with our kids. And, I thought about how important that is right now (of course, it’s always important, but now more than ever). I think about parenting during the pandemic. I’ve helped Sofie navigate the loss of her dream job — the one she worked so hard to get. And, I’ve helped my son navigate the loss of his final year and a half of college. As much as I’ve treasured this time with him, I would have rather he had a senior year at school. And that graduation and his Naval commissioning (he’s Navy ROTC) would be celebrated with his fraternity brothers and battalion friends, and not on yet another Zoom. I know all of our children, 22 months to 22 years, are all struggling right now and how we want to be there for them. 

    Before my son, Jules, and I started writing Just Between Us: mother-son journal, I asked him what, if anything, his father and I did right. Without hesitating, he said, “You cared about the things I cared about. You did things with me.” He was right. I always made a point of spending time with my children (I just loved that he noticed.) Whether it was watching cartoons and movies together, or visiting the zoo several times a week to see the baby elephant, who was “his best friend” (he was a little boy then), or driving 20 hours round trip in a weekend to take him to a lacrosse tournament in another state, I made a point of being there and learning about the things they cared about.

    I remember once Jules asked me how I knew so much about dinosaurs (again, he was little when he asked this). I reminded him that I was the one who read him all the dinosaur books when he was too little to read. And, that I was the one who took him to the museums and dinosaur shows and laid on the floor to play with dinosaur figurines and shared his outrage when someone referred to a brontosaurus, when there was no such dinosaur — it was actually a brachiosaurus. 

    I know I joked earlier about making cocktails, but this was a natural transition from all the times I cooked and baked with my kids. From braiding bread dough and decorating cakes and even trying to grow vegetables (never worked because I quickly lost interest in watering).

    We listened to music and did arts and crafts. We read books together — Harry Potter and Twilight. We ran errands together (often stopping for a treat). And, I made a point of getting tickets for events or knowing if something was on tv that related to something they cared about. And, I listened to when they told me about a project or after school activity they were involved with or even something they were trying out and I remembered to ask about it and be there for important (and even not so important moments). 

    Let Them Know That They Are Valued

    So, if I could give you advice, it’s be there. Be there. Listen. Remember. When we show our children that what they care about is important to us, it lets them know that they are valued — that their thoughts and dreams and opinions matter to us and are worth listening to. 

    The funny thing is, when we show our children that we want to listen, they start talking.

    Thanks again to Meredith Jacobs for the advice on how to be a good mom. Be sure to check out her book!

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    The pitfalls of platonic co-parenting

    Platonic co-parenting
    Strangers making babies, an intriguing new show, recently started on Channel 4, shining a spotlight on the concept of platonic co-parenting. 
    With apparently 70,000 people in the UK currently advertising online to be co-parents (some simply on a Facebook group), the show follows a group of single, would-be parents looking for a platonic partner to have a baby.
    Unlike surrogacy, which has soared in popularity in the last few years, partly thanks to celebrities such as Elton John and Kim Kardashian West, platonic co-parenting remains little understood and less spoken about. 
    However, what it does share with surrogacy is a complexity in the law and the potentially complicated process of both parties become legal parents. 
    What is co-parenting? 
    Co-parenting is defined as parents raising a child or children together who are not or have not been in a romantic relationship.
    People choose to co-parent for various reasons, and co-parenting can work for individuals and couples. 
    For example, a gay couple may choose to co-parent with a lesbian couple, or two heterosexual friends may choose to co-parent. 
    Things to think about when considering co-parenting 
    Before embarking on co-parenting, it is important to consider who you want to co-parent with and how your relationship as parents will work. 
    You also need to be clear about your expectations, shared values and approaches to parenting, and practical considerations. 
    One of the most important considerations is how the baby will be conceived and carried, and you need to think about, 

    Undertaking health and fertility checks 
    The method of conception, for example,  will you use a home insemination method or a fertility clinic for artificial insemination or IVF
    Who will be recognised as the child’s legal parent and have parental responsibility for the child

    A co-parenting agreement 
    Once you’ve decided to go ahead and start your family, you may wish to enter into a pre-conception or co-parenting agreement which a lawyer and/or a mediator can assist with. 
    This agreement is designed to record your intentions as co-parents and create a framework outlining both parties expectations and can include: 

    Who will attend antenatal appointments and the birth 
    Choosing the child’s name 
    How you explain to the child their life story
    Your views on health, for example, opinions on vaccinations
    Your approach and views on education, including how you wish to choose a school, private fees and involvement with the school concerning parents evening, school reports and attendance at events
    Agreements around childcare, such as using the services of a childminder, nanny or nursery 
    Your approach and view’s on managing challenging behaviour 
    Whether your child will be encouraged to follow a religion
    The time that the child will spend with each co-parent including for special events such as their birthday, Christmas and school holidays. 
    Financial support for the child, including any maintenance that may be paid, life insurance and financial provision in the event of your death.

    These agreements, however, are not legally binding. Since they cannot be enforced by UK law, the co-parents must rely on trust. This can leave people concerned about what might happen in the event of a disagreement or other conflicts further down the line.
    Who will be the legal parent? 
    The woman who carries the child will be automatically recognised as the child’s legal parent and detailed on the birth certificate in all circumstances of conception. 
    If you are co-parenting, it is important to consider who will be recognised as the second legal parent on the child’s birth certificate and granted parental responsibility. 
    However, who can be recognised as a parent will depend on the circumstances and the family’s makeup. 
    One male and one female co-parenting 
    If a single female wishes to co-parent with a man, then he can be the child’s legal parent by being registered on the child’s birth certificate, either at the time of the child’s registration (and he will need to be present for this) or through a Statutory Declaration of Parentage or Court Order. 
    If you wish to conceive the child using a registered sperm donation clinic, you will need to consent to his legal parenthood before treatment begins, and a clinic may refer to this as a “known sperm donation”. 
    It is recommended that you use a clinic for this reason. If you proceed with artificial insemination at home, then you are trusting the mother to agree to register the father at birth. 
    Couples who co-parent with a third parent or another couple
    As the law only allows two parents on a birth certificate, if you are looking to co-parent with more than two parents, you need to consider further arrangements to grant parental responsibility for the child through a Parental Responsibility Agreement.  
    For example, if a single female and a gay couple who are married or in a civil partnership agree to co-parent, only one of the men can be registered on the birth certificate as a legal parent alongside the mother.  In these circumstances, a third person can be granted Parental Responsibility as a step-parent of the child or by way of Court Order. 
    This means that while they are not legally defined as a parent on the birth certificate, they have an equal say to the legal parents on the key decisions regarding the child’s upbringing. 
    Find out how to apply for a Parental Responsibility Agreement. 
    Read more about the legal implications of sperm donation, egg-freezing and surrogacy.
    What if we disagree? 
    Meaningful discussions before entering into a co-parenting agreement will hopefully prevent disagreements in the future, but if a disagreement arises regarding the care of your child, you may wish to attend mediation to discuss matters. 
    Alternatively, your lawyer can forward proposals and negotiate on your behalf. Whichever method you choose, the key to an amicable agreement is good communication and realistic expectations.  
    Solicitors can discuss further options such as a roundtable meeting where both lawyers and clients are present or arbitration. 
    If agreements cannot be reached for whatever reason, an application to Court may be advisable.  The application may be for a Specific Issue Order, for example, if you disagree over a choice of schools, a Prohibited Steps (which prevents a parent from doing something), Parental Responsibility or a Child Arrangements Order which sets out how much time a child spends with each child.  
    Get in touch
    If you would like any advice on platonic co-parenting or other family law issues, please contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist lawyers here.  More

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    The Importance Of Family Dinners And Ideas For Dinner Time With Kids

    Let’s discuss the importance of family dinners and celebrate the benefits of eating dinner together as a family!  I will share with you some statistics to help get you motivated to make family dinners a priority. I will also share some wonderful tips from Naomi Davis, the popular writer, entrepreneur and creator of “Love Taza,” on how to get the most out of dinner time with kids. There are even some ideas for family dinner recipes at the end of this post. It is a great time to take the Family Dinners Challenge and commit to making family dinners part of your family routine!

    Benefits Of Eating Dinner Together As A Family

    Eating as family is so much more than just eating- it is time for family bonding.  The benefits of family time are many and a family dinner is the perfect time to come together on a consistent basis.  Shared family meals means you talk to each other, you look each other in the eye, and hopefully, you are thankful together for the shared meal and shared time.  Shared family dinner time is something that becomes easy the more you do it.  I know that it seems like chess club, flag football practice, and piano lessons can sometimes get in the way but when you remember the importance of family dinner, it will be easier to make it happen.

    If you put away distractions and take time to be fully present during your family dinner time, you will notice a huge difference. It is about creating a family tradition of coming together daily for a positive experience. It does not technically have to be family dinner that is the shared meal but that is what works best for most families. If you have an atypical work schedule, you may try to make it family breakfast. It is the routine that matters so you can all look forward to sharing some time together and reconnecting over a meal.

    Importance Of Family Dinner Statistics

    Sure they are nice but are family dinners important? Yes! Shared family dinners show a high correlation to children that eat more fruits and veggies, are more willing to try new foods, and are less likely to be overweight. But that is not all, studies have shown that kids who eat with their families frequently are less likely to get depressed, consider suicide, or to develop an eating disorder, according to health.com. Wow.  Are these correlations making you think you could probably fit in a shared family meal a few more nights a week? There are even more reasons to share a meal together as a family- doing so at least five times a week drastically lowers a teen’s chance of smoking, drinking, and using drugs (CASA Report).  School performance tends to go up and divorce rates tend to be lower in families that eat together.  

    Anne Fishel, executive director of the Family Dinner Project, shared on the Harvard Graduate School of Education Podcast that “80% of teenagers say that family dinner is the time of the day they’re most likely to talk to their parents.” Staying in the know about what your teens are up to? Priceless! She also adds, “Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.” Again, wow.

    As you can see, the importance of family dinners really can not be overlooked!

    Fun Ideas For Family Dinner Time

    I am so happy to have Naomi Davis, who has been named a Forbes Top 10 Parenting Influencer, share with us some fabulous ideas for dinner time and how to get the most out of it. She is also the author of the brand new book A Coat of Yellow Paint: Moving Through the Noise to Love the Life You Live (April 6, 2021, Harper Horizon). In the book, Naomi shares a collection of intimate and vulnerable essays that explore being a wife, raising five children, and living an authentic life, in her trademark candid style. So without further ado, the rest of this section on fun ideas for family dinner is by Naomi Davis.

    Five Ways I’ve Gotten More Out Of Meal Time With My Kids

    by Naomi Davis

    There’s an entire chapter in my new book, A Coat of Yellow Paint, all about how loud and messy our dinner table can be. As a mother to little ones, you might read that sentence and think, I already have a loud and messy dinner table in my own home, I don’t know if I’m interested in reading about another. And I feel you.  One loud and messy dinner table is plenty! 

    But what I explore in this particular essay in my book, is the magic often found at the dinner table, amidst the smeared marinara sauce and noodles splashed across the floor— when we use this dedicated meal time to grow our family bond and interact in meaningful ways. After all, despite the days feeling long, this chapter of life is incredibly short. And utilizing our minutes together around a dining table, where there are limited outside distractions, just might make the loud dinner table your favorite dinner table! (Most days.)

    I’d love to share with you a couple of ideas and prompts my husband and I have found especially helpful when it comes to engaging our kids around the table. 

    Designated Jobs

    First, we give everyone a designated job around meal time. It might mean setting napkins on each plate or helping Papa mix the pasta in the kitchen. But as each family member has a specific task, we feel a little more united in our efforts before the meal even begins! And having that spirit of unity as we go into what can often feel like a battle (I mean, pleeeeeaaaase don’t throw your broccoli and keep touching your brother with your spoon!), it helps!  

    Dinner Conversation Starters

    Second, we have found conversation starters with fun prompts the key to making our loud dinner table one where everyone loves to be. The table grows still as we explore feelings and share stories based on different categories: If you had a superpower for a day, what would it be? What is the greatest invention? Pretend you are popcorn popping!  We also learn some of the most endearing facts about our kids and each other as we build upon each answer. A great place to start is with an open-ended question around a topic a family member is interested in. Bringing their imaginations into the conversation only sets you up for success and some good laughs, too. 

    Dinner Games

    Third, a game at mealtime can keep everyone in their seats successfully and possibly even linger as the meal comes to an end! It doesn’t need to be a physical game or include tangible objects, but sharing riddles (or making up your own!), playing word games like Telephone or the Yes or No game (can you make it through the meal without saying yes or no?!), usually ends in laughter. Sometimes designating someone in the family to hide a particular utensil as the meal progresses without anyone noticing is also so much fun! 

    Family Dinner Questions

    Fourth, have everyone come to the table with a question the family can explore together.  While we usually have a “no phones at the table” rule in an attempt to keep tech away from our mealtimes, we make an exception every once in a while for a special topic like “why are panda bears black and white” or “how many types of lizards are there?” These kinds of questions lead to incredible discussions where we all take something away and while doing so, the chaos is kept to a minimum!

    Kind Words

    And fifth, taking turns sharing something we love about another family member is one of my favorite dinner table prompts. We used to reserve this for birthdays, but honestly, nothing bad ever comes from sharing openly what you love about someone you love, and I think it should happen more often than every 365 days. If I can help facilitate a little bit of a bond between my children by way of kind words and affirmations shared every single day around our table, I think we might be building something special. I encourage families everywhere to share something they love about another family member at every meal.  

    While I certainly hope these suggestions or ideas are helpful during the next loud dinner table experience when you aren’t sure you can reign in the madness that has commenced, I also hope you know you aren’t alone in the dinner table mayhem (coming to you from my own chaotic dinner table where the madness is often maddening!). And like me, I hope you can find ways to celebrate this short chapter of life that messy and loud and totally out of control most days. Because someday those tiny bodies will have extra curriculars and friends and outside activities that will inevitably pull them away from the loud dinner table. And while each season is beautiful in its own right, I have a feeling we might long for this one. And so while we have it here before us, may we take full advantage of its magic, embrace the mess and the loudness, and enjoy making the memories around our very loud dinner tables. 

    I hope you enjoyed Naomi Davis’ tips for engaging kids around the dinner table!

    Family Dinner Recipe Ideas

    There are no rules around what you eat at family dinners! Of course, healthy meals are best in my opinion but the shared family time is what matters most. I am going to put links to a few recipes under various categories just to get you started in case you are stuck there!

    Chicken Family Dinner Recipes

    Recipe For Chicken Tagine With Apricots And Tangerines

    Chicken Drumsticks With Artichokes Sheet Pan Dinner Recipe

    Easy Chicken udon Noodles Soup Recipe

    Beef Family Dinner Recipes

    Slow Cooker Beef Roast

    Mojito Grilled Steak Salad Recipe

    Homemade Meatballs With Spinach Sauce

    Vegetarian Family Dinner Recipes

    Savory Root Vegetable Pot Pie Recipe

    Caprese Pasta Salad

    Sweet Potato Couscous Recipe

    Ready Made Family Dinner Options

    Order Pizza

    Order Takeout via DoorDash

    EveryPlate Boxes- Dinner Ready To Make

    No Time 2 Cook Frozen Family Meals

    Frozen Italian Meals

    Let’s Start Eating Dinner With Family- Take The Family Dinners Challenge

    Now that you know the importance of family dinner, don’t you just want to let others know too? The Family Dinners Challenge is about uniting to remind the world to have more family dinners!  It is about showing that connecting over a shared meal can bring more love, compassion, and wellness into our communities! Let’s create a movement that aims to bring people together by challenging families nationwide to enjoy family dinner time. How? By example! Just share this post (or a photo of eating dinner together as a family) on social media with the hashtag #FamilyDinnerChallenge.

    Did you already know the importance of family dinner? Do you think you will try to eating dinner together as a family more often?

    Related Posts:

    Delicious 5 Day Healthy Meal Plan

    Healthy Families Do These 5 Things

    How To Eat Healthy On A Budget More

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    Raising Kids With The Entrepreneurial Spirit

    We are all hopeful that our children will grow to be confident, motivated and resilient adults, but how do we best set them up for success early in life? Raising our kids with the entrepreneurial spirit can help give them the can-do growth mindset, analytical skills, and leadership abilities that allow them to thrive in any given situation. Today, I will share with you some expert tips for a few ways parents can encourage an entrepreneurial spirit in children from an early age.

    What is The Entrepreneurial Spirit?

    The entrepreneurial spirit meaning is best described as all of the key traits that make an entrepreneur successful. That is to say, the vision, confidence, drive, determination, persistence, and the ability to adapt, grow, and change based on the market. Being an entrepreneur takes a special ability to think for one’s self, to be willing to take calculated risks, and to go after big dreams with a passion that is unstoppable. Leadership qualities are a must and they love a good challenge. A true entrepreneur is full of new ideas and knows how to seize new opportunities. A few entrepreneurial skills include intellectual curiosity around even ordinary things, creative thinking, and developing innovative products. They can be a measured risk taker who knows how to use right people to create a positive business community that takes a good idea to fruition.

    Hosts of the Top 100 podcast The Product Boss, co-founders of The Product Boss Mastermind courses

    Encouraging The Entrepreneurial Mindset

    Raising a child with the entrepreneurial spirit does not mean they have to be an entrepreneur business leader when they grow up. It just means that they have the self-motivation and drive to chase their dreams and be self starters.

    With this in mind, I am so happy to share with you some fabulous tips for raising entrepreneurs from two amazing moms and successful entrepreneurs, Minna Khounlo-Sithep and Jacqueline Snyder, also known to the world as The Product Boss. Together, they use their expertise to help small businesses with savvy strategies to achieve success through their coaching platforms, top-ranked podcast (The Product Boss Podcast), and social media shopping initiatives that promote small businesses.

    With close to 30 years of combined experience in the business venture space, they’ve learned the value of entrepreneurial drive and have been consciously motivating their kids to follow in their footsteps over the years.

    The Product Boss ladies have shared their top three tips for encouraging those “kidpreneur” tendencies and fostering feelings of independence and ingenuity below.

    Ice Cream Shop- pure joy!

    1. Give playtime a purpose 

    While they are young and imaginations are still running wild, encouraging your kids to open up their own shops at home is always a fun and enriching experience for everyone. Whether they decide they want to open up a restaurant, a veterinarian office or a bakery, all of these add a sense of purpose and drive to their free time that didn’t exist before. Getting that first-hand experience, even if just artificial, plants the seed early that one day they too can create a life and career that they dream of if you mix those passions with a little hard work. 

    2. Keep them interested and involved 

    If you’re a small business owner yourself, getting your kids interested in your work is a natural next step. Keeping the business conversations going when the kids walk in, asking them to offer their two cents on career-related predicaments, having them help out on certain activities in your work they might enjoy, and discussing your career goals at length with them are all fantastic new ways to keep them invested. Before you know it, your kids are dreaming up their own aspirations, careers and lives soon to unfold. 

    3. Hold them accountable and offer choices

    It’s never too early to begin to instill a hard work ethic in your kids. If they say that they want that new toy, ask how they will go about earning it. Can they set up a lemonade stand? Can they earn money from completing various household chores? When children aren’t simply given everything they ask for and, instead, are encouraged to go out and work hard for what they want, they begin to see the world in a new light. In addition, giving them these decisions early on sets them up as independent thinkers. It also helps improve low confidence levels and indecisiveness. Setting these standards from the jump and holding them accountable for their actions is the best way to set them straight on their entrepreneurial path. 

    If you enjoyed these tips and would be interested in more tips on how to become a successful business owner, check out the The Product Boss Podcast, A Top 100 Podcast On Apple Podcast Business Charts. You can listen on Spotify or various other podcasting services.

    Additionally, I want to share some of my favorite entrepreneurial spirit quotes with you today for a little extra inspiration.

    Entrepreneurial Spirit Quotes

    “You have to see failure as the beginning and the middle, but never entertain it as an end.” –Jessica Herrin

    “You just have to find the solution for a problem in your own life.” -Brian Chesky, Co-founder of Airbnb

    “Don’t worry about being successful but work toward being significant and the success will naturally follow.”-Oprah Winfrey

    “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney

    “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” -Mark Twain

    “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

    “There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” –Richard Branson

    “We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” -Bill Gates

    Spirit Of Entrepreneurship Conclusion

    I hope you enjoyed these tips to encourage the entrepreneurial spirit in your children so that they stay curious, optimistic, eager to find better ways. Developing a positive attitude and the desire to find new solutions will serve them in all areas of life. After all, who doesn’t want to help their kid become more confident and motivated? How will you encourage your young entrepreneur?

    Related Posts:

    Encouraging Passion, Philanthropy and Leadership in Kids

    Interview With A Daddy Entrepreneur

    New Podcast For Kids- Molly of Denali More