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By Tanni Haas, Ph.D. | Contributor
Every parent of teens knows how difficult it can be to get through to them, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There are many things parents can do – and a couple of things they shouldn’t do – to get their teens to listen. Here’s what the experts suggest:
Give Good Reasons
Teens like to know that their parents are taking them seriously, so if you want them to listen, don’t just state your opinions or tell them what to do. “Tell them why those are the right opinions,” says Rachel Ehmke of the Child Mind Institute. Give good reasons for what you say, and for what you say they should do.
Allow Time For Processing
It can take days, even weeks, for teens to process the substance of a conversation, especially an important one. If your teens don’t understand what you say at first give them some time and space to reflect on the conversation before you bring it up again. “You might be surprised how your conversation evolves over time,” clinical psychologist Dr. Gregory Jantz says.
Rephrase Statements as Questions
Teens will reflect more and better on what you’re telling them when you rephrase statements as questions instead of commands. “By asking questions,” says Josh Shipp, the author of The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans, “you as a parent are getting your children to think critically on their own.” Try to ask questions that make your teens reflect on the causes and consequences of their actions.
“Stop talking before your teen tunes out.”
Keep It Short and Simple
Keep it short and simple, says therapist Mendi Baron: “If you’re going on and on, your teen is thinking, ‘I got the point already, please STOP.’ So, stop talking before your teen tunes out.” This is difficult advice to follow. As parents, we like to unload whatever is on our minds but doing that can easily backfire.
Don’t Lose Your Temper
Don’t lose your cool, even if your teens are rude or aren’t paying attention to what you’re saying. If you lose your temper, the conversation can escalate into a shouting match. Remember that you’re the adult and should be better able to control your emotions than your teens. Instead of losing your cool, Ms. Ehmke says, “count to ten or take some deep breaths before responding.”
Don’t Lecture
“If you lecture,” Mr. Shipp says, “your teen tunes you out. And when that happens, you become the boy who cried wolf. You could have the most pertinent information, but your teen won’t hear a thing you say.” Also, a lecture is a monologue where only you get to talk and not a dialogue between you and your teen where both get to speak.
A lecture is a monologue where only you get to talk and not a dialogue between you and your teen where both get to speak.
Don’t Use Judgmental Language
“No one likes to feel judged,” says professional counselor Trudy Griffin. “If you come off as critical or judgmental, your teen may shut down.” Try to say what you want to say in as neutral a way as possible. When you “remove judgmental phrases from dialogue with your teen,” Ms. Griffin adds, you’ll be surprised by how much more they’re willing to listen to you.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tanni Haas is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College. More
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By The American Heart Association
This restaurant favorite can be mastered at home—with even more flavor, less sodium, and a lot less calories with zucchini subbing for regular noodles.
Servings: 6 | Serving Size: 1 1/3 cups
Ingredients:
4 medium zucchini
1 1/2 pound skinless, boneless, thinly sliced chicken breast (cut into 1-inch strips)
2 teaspoons garlic powder (divided)
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper (divided)
1/8 teaspoon salt (divided)
3 teaspoons canola oil (divided)
1 (14.4-ounce) bag frozen broccoli stir-fry vegetables, thawed
2 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoons red hot chile flakes (optional)
1/2 cup chopped green onion
2 cups fresh bean sprouts
1 1/2 teaspoons sesame seeds
Directions:
Place the shredder blade onto the spiralizer to cut zucchini into spaghetti-like threads. Spiralize each zucchini, and cut threads into 6- or 8-inch pieces so they are easier to eat. Add all the zucchini into a large bowl and reserve.
Place the chicken breast lengthwise onto a cutting board and cut 1-inch strips of chicken. Add to a bowl and continue slicing remaining chicken. Season with 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon ginger, ⅛ teaspoon black pepper, and ⅛ teaspoon salt.
Warm a large nonstick pan with 1 teaspoon oil over high heat. Add chicken; stirring frequently, saute until chicken is fully-cooked, about 5 to 7 minutes depending on thickness. Remove from heat, transfer chicken to a plate, and cover with foil to keep warm.
Again warm 1 teaspoon oil in the large nonstick pan over high heat. Add thawed stir-fry vegetables, stirring constantly and cooking until vegetables are cooked and all the water has evaporated, around 6 to 8 minutes. Remove from heat and transfer to a bowl to reserve.
Make the sauce: In a small bowl, add soy sauce, chicken broth, cornstarch, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon ginger, ⅛ teaspoon black pepper, ⅛ teaspoon salt, and (optional) chile flakes. Stir together with a fork until cornstarch is dissolved. Also, chop the scallions.
Warm 1 teaspoon oil in the large nonstick pan over high heat. Add half the zucchini, using tongs to stir constantly, until zucchini is somewhat wilted, about 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in remaining zucchini along with the sauce, again using tongs to cook the zucchini and let it absorb the sauce. Cook until all the zucchini is tender, about 2 more minutes.
Quickly stir in reserved chicken and vegetables. Cook another minute. Remove from heat and add bean sprouts, scallions, and sesame seeds. Serve.
Quick Tips:
Cooking Tip: A wok can also be used instead of a large nonstick pan. In fact, woks are an excellent piece of cooking equipment to own. Between its large round surface and its nonstick quality, it’s a great way to cook nutritious vegetables.
Keep it Healthy: Frozen stir-fry veggies—whether using in a stir-fry recipe or not—are a convenient way to get a variety of vegetables into a dish without the work of chopping.
Tip: Don’t have a spiralizer? Grate the zucchini on a box grater or buy about 12 cups of packaged spiralized zucchini in the grocery aisle.
Nutritional Information:
Calories: 226 Per Serving
Protein: 29g Per Serving
Fiber: 4g Per Serving
To learn more about the Chicken “Zoodle” Lo Mein recipe from the American Heart Association, click here. More
By The American Heart Association
A garnish of avocado bits, thinly sliced red bell pepper, and crisp tortilla strips adds texture and color to this popular soup.
Servings: 4 | Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups
Ingredients:
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts (all visible fat discarded, cut into 1/2-inch cubes)
2 cups frozen whole kernel corn (thawed)
2 cups fat-free, no-salt-added chicken broth
14.5 ounces canned, no-salt-added, diced tomatoes (undrained)
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon ancho powder
2 medium garlic cloves (minced)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 6- inch corn tortillas (cut into 1/4-inch-wide strips, plus)
1 6- inch corn tortilla (torn into pieces)
2 to 4 tablespoon snipped, fresh cilantro
1/4 cup finely chopped avocado
1/4 medium red bell pepper (cut into matchstick-size strips)
Directions:
In a 3-4 1/2-quart round or oval slow cooker, stir together the chicken, corn, broth, tomatoes with liquid, onion, sugar, ancho powder, garlic, and salt. Cook, covered, on low for 6 to 8 hours or on high for 3 to 4 hours.
Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Arrange the tortilla strips in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until crisp. Transfer the baking sheet to a cooling rack. Let the strips stand for about 15 minutes, or until cool. Transfer to an airtight container and set aside.
When the soup is ready, transfer 1 cup to a food processor or blender. Stir in the tortilla pieces. Let the mixture stand for 1 minute so the tortilla pieces soften. Process until smooth. Stir the mixture into the soup. Stir in the cilantro.
Ladle the soup into bowls. Sprinkle with the avocado, bell pepper, and reserved baked tortilla strips.
Quick Tips:
Cooking Tip: Adding the processed soup and tortilla mixture to the rest of the soup gives the finished product more body and distributes the tortilla flavor.
Nutritional Information:
Calories: 292 Per Serving
Protein: 30g Per Serving
Fiber: 5g Per Serving
To learn more about the Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipe from the American Heart Association, click here. More
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By The American Heart Association
This classic French dish combines egg yolks and egg whites with savory spinach, herbs, and grated Parmesan. While baking, the egg mixture puffs up to form a golden crust on the outside, sealing in light, airy goodness.
Servings: 4 | Serving Size: 1 soufflé
Ingredients:
Cooking spray
1 tablespoon plus 1 1/2 teaspoons whole-wheat bread crumbs (lowest sodium available)
4 large egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
6 ounces baby spinach
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon chopped, fresh Italian (flat-leaf) parsley OR 1 teaspoon dried parsley (crumbled)
2/3 cup fat-free milk (cold)
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
2 ounces grated Parmesan cheese
2 large egg yolks
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 425°F. Lightly spray four 6-ounce ramekins with cooking spray. Lightly sprinkle the bread crumbs in each, spreading to coat the bottom and sides completely.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg whites and cream of tartar. Set aside.
Lightly spray a small skillet with cooking spray. Cook the spinach and garlic over medium heat for 3 to 4 minutes, or until the spinach is wilted but still very green, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat. Stir in the parsley. Set aside.
In a medium saucepan, whisk together the milk, flour, and pepper. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat for 4 to 5 minutes, or until the mixture thickens, whisking constantly. Remove from the heat. Let cool for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, using a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat the egg white mixture on high speed for 20 to 30 seconds, or until medium peaks form.
Stir the spinach mixture into the milk mixture. Stir in the Parmesan and egg yolks until well combined. Gently fold in one-third of the egg white mixture at a time until well combined.
Spoon 1/2 cup of the soufflé mixture into each of the ramekins. Gently tap the ramekins on the counter 2 or 3 times to level the mixture. Place the ramekins on a baking sheet.
Bake for 5 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 350˚F. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the soufflés are puffy and golden brown. Serve immediately.
Quick Tips:
Cooking Tip: Don’t get excited and open the oven early to peek! Doing this may cause the soufflé fall.
Nutritional Information:
Calories: 144 Per Serving
Protein: 14g Per Serving
Fiber: 1g Per Serving
To learn more about the Spinach Soufflés Recipe from the American Heart Association, click here. More
By The American Heart Association
Check out this Simple Cooking with Heart recipe featuring the ultimate American comfort food: meatloaf served with black-eyed peas — a hearty-healthy side from the South.
Servings: 6
Ingredients:
For the Black-Eyed Peas:
31 oz. canned, low-sodium black-eyed peas
For the Meatloaf:
1 small onion (finely chopped)
1 medium bell pepper (any color), finely chopped
1 tsp. extra virgin olive oil or vegetable oil
2 clove minced, fresh garlic OR 1 tsp. jarred, minced garlic
2 Tbsp. fat-free, skim milk
1/3 cup quick-cooking oats
1.5 lb. extra-lean, fat-free ground turkey (95% or 99% lean) (can substitute extra lean ground beef or pork)
2 eggs (beaten)
1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
8 oz. canned, no-salt-added tomato sauce (divided use)
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. dried parsley
1 tsp. cider vinegar
non-stick Cooking spray
Directions:
For the Black-Eyed Peas:
Heat (un-drained) in microwave-safe covered dish on high for 5 minutes, or until warm.
For the Meatloaf:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Place onions and bell pepper in a glass 9×5 loaf pan, drizzle with oil and toss to coat.
Cover loaf pan with a plate and microwave on high for 3 minutes (NOTE: if you are using a metal loaf pan do NOT put it in the microwave!). Allow vegetables to cool slightly.
In a medium bowl, combine vegetables, minced garlic, milk, oats, turkey meat, eggs, mustard, 2 tablespoons of tomato sauce, pepper and parsley – mix well with hands.
Spray loaf pan with cooking spray. Shape meat mixture into loaf and place in loaf pan.
In the medium bowl, mix remainder of tomato sauce and cider vinegar, pour over loaf.
Bake for 50-60 minutes until internal thermometer reads 165 for poultry and 160 for beef or pork. Let stand for 5-10 minutes and slice.
Quick Tips:
Tip: Make mini-loaf by baking in muffin tins. These individual sized mini-loaves are great for freezing, fun for kids, or a great alternative if you’re in a rush because they only cook for half the time!
Nutritional Information:
Calories: 322 Per Serving
Protein: 40g Per Serving
Fiber: 7g Per Serving
Cost Per Serving: $2.61
To learn more about the Meatloaf with Black-Eyed Peas Recipe from the American Heart Association, click here. More
