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      Expansion of Family Court Transparency Pilot to 16 more courts

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      In another significant step towards enhancing transparency within the family justice system, the judiciary has announced the expansion of the transparency reporting pilot.
      Described as a ‘huge step,’ this initiative aims to provide insight into family court proceedings.
      The transparency implementation group reporting pilot, which began in the family courts of Leeds, Cardiff, and Carlisle in January 2023, is set to expand to 16 additional courts across England, including Liverpool, Dorset, and Milton Keynes starting January 29th 2024.
      2024 Expansion of Family Court Transparency Pilot
      Under this ongoing pilot, accredited media and legal bloggers can report on the proceedings, subject to strict rules of anonymity. Judges presiding over the courts involved in the pilot will issue transparency orders outlining what information can and cannot be reported.
      The judiciary emphasises that this reporting initiative is being carefully piloted to ensure it can be conducted safely and with minimal disruption to those involved in the cases and the functioning of the courts.
      Sir Andrew McFarlane, Family Division president, hailed the extension as a continuation of the ‘pioneering year of reporting’. He expressed the judiciary’s commitment to increasing transparency, improving public confidence, and fostering a better understanding of the family justice system.
      Sir McFarlane invited members of the media to familiarise themselves with the provided guidance and visit family courts to witness the vital and challenging work undertaken in these settings.
      Understanding the impact of family court reporting
      The announcement has garnered positive reactions from legal professionals, with many viewing open reporting as a crucial step in addressing the challenges faced by family courts, such as backlogs, and hopes it will contribute to public understanding.
      Jake Mitchell, Leeds-based Stowe family lawyer echoed this “One of the biggest barriers to people seeking help with their legal issues is the amount of misinformation which is readily available and repeated.”
      Although some have raised concerns that journalist presence could cause potential discomfort to people going through the family courts, its hoped that journalists will use their newfound rights to raise public awareness of the workings of financial remedy courts and the strain they face due to under-funding.
      Locations included in the expansion of the Transparency Pilot
      The 16 courts participating in the pilot include Liverpool, Manchester, West Yorkshire, Kingston-upon-Hull, Nottingham, Stoke, Derby, Birmingham, Central Family Court, East London, West London, Dorset, Truro, Luton, Guildford, and Milton Keynes.
      Jake Mitchel continued “My colleagues and I welcome the expansion of transparency in the family courts. The more the public knows what goes on inside a court room, the greater the trust and confidence will be and that should lead to the right result for more people.” More

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      INTRODUCING Stowe talks: How to

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      Ever wished you had step-by-step instructions to help guide you through typical divorce processes?
      We know that divorce and separation can feel like a minefield cluttered with complicated paperwork, legal jargon and complex processes.
      That’s why we’ve produced Stowe talks: How to a new range of free step-by-step videos and guides.
      What you can expect from Stowe talks: How to
      Each edition includes a video and accompanying guide available to download for free. The focus on offering practical, to-the-point information and guidance from a family lawyer on a specific topic related to divorce or separation, including:
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      Explore more Stowe talks: How to resources
      Watch Stowe talks: How to videos
      Download the accompanying guides More

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      What is in store for family law in 2024?

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      2024 has the potential to see the conclusion of a number of UK government legislation amendments and consultations. Each carefully considered change will have a far-reaching impact on family law and those dealing with the personal impact of family law matters. So, as we begin the new year, we look at important changes on the horizon and suggest what may be in store for family law in 2024.
      Financial Remedies Court reporting pilot
      The spotlight on ‘transparency in the Family Court’ continues in 2024. Following on from last year’s introduction of measures to increase understanding and scrutiny of the system, a new pilot scheme is set to start on January 29th.
      The Financial Remedies Court (FRC) reporting pilot will allow accredited journalists and bloggers to report on financial remedies proceedings. These include financial issues arising from divorce and civil partnership dissolution, and child support cases.
      The FRC pilot will initially cover three trial courts: the Central Family Court, Birmingham, and Leeds. Notably, certain hearings, like Financial Dispute Resolution, will maintain confidentiality, preserving the privacy of those involved.
      Proposed amendment to Victims and Prisoners Bill affecting parental responsibility
      In January 2024 the Ministry of Justice’s proposed amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill moves to the next stage. The proposal announced in 2022 seeks to automatically remove parental responsibility for parents convicted of the murder or voluntary manslaughter of their co-parent.
      The legislation change emerged after the death of Jade Ward, whose partner and father of her child murdered her in 2021. He was found guilty and sentenced to a minimum of 25 years in jail. Since then, Jade’s family have lobbied for a change in the law to automatically remove parental responsibility so that convicted offenders can no longer seek information about their children or make key decisions about their lives.
      The Ministry of Justice have confirmed that there will be exemptions in cases involving domestic abuse.
      Possible outline of future financial remedies reform
      In 2023 the Law Commission of England and Wales launched a comprehensive review of financial remedy orders. The review examines how finances are divided among couples post-divorce or civil partnership dissolution, currently governed by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 and Civil Partnership Act 2004.
      The aim of the review is to evaluate the effectiveness of current laws and ensure fairness for divorcing couples. Among other factors, the review set out to analyse discretionary powers of judges, explore wider powers for orders involving children over the age of eighteen, assess pension-related orders, review the mechanics and structure of post-divorce financial payments.
      The findings, anticipated in a scoping report in September 2024, may pave the way for significant reforms in future financial remedies legislation.
      Family court fees to rise
      Last month the UK Government completed a consultation which looks to increase court fees by up to 10% in 2024.
      The Ministry for Justice wants to increase revenue generated by the courts to ensure that they remain ‘sufficiently resourced’ to protect access to the courts for all those who seek justice.
      Users of His Majesty’s Courts and Tribunals Service (HMCTS), including the family court, contribute to the cost of the justice process by paying fees. Court fees generated £727 million of the total £2.3 billion cost to run HMCTS in 2022/23, with the remainder funded by the taxpayer.
      By increasing court fees by 10% the UK government is expected to generate up to £42 million per year. The key objectives of the price increase are to keep pace with increased costs, improve service delivery, subsidise the cost of free services, and reduce the overall cost to the taxpayer.
      Key 2024 family court fee increases include:

      Application for a divorce, or civil partnership dissolution – fees will rise from £593 to £652
      Application for a parental order – fees will rise from £232 to £255
      Application/permission to apply for adoption – fees will rise from £183 to £201
      Application for a financial order (other than consent order) – fees will rise from £275 to £303.

      Resolving family matters out of court
      In 2024 we’ll see a continuing emphasis on encouraging parties to seek resolution of their disputes outside of the court system. Last year the UK government carried out a consultation ‘Supporting earlier resolution of private family law arrangements’ to review mediation in family law.
      As a result, in 2024 we could see mandatory mediation for all suitable low-level family court cases (excluding those which include allegations or a history of domestic violence). The aim is to divert family disputes away from stretched courts and protect children from the impact of acrimonious and long-running court cases.
      It’s hoped the proposals will mean more people can make decisions and achieve resolutions with the support of a qualified mediator, rather than placing the decision with the family court.
      General election
      While the date of the next UK general election is still to be announced, it’s widely anticipated that the current Conservative government will call for an election in 2024.
      The latest voting intention polls suggest that Labour may win the next election, meaning a change in government. Whilst no parties have yet released their election manifestos, and the exact nature of any proposed changes to family law is yet unknown, we can expect to see some impact. More

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      2023 In Review – Reflections on the Year in Family Law

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      2023: A Year in Review
      Julian Hawkhead, Managing Partner, Reflects on the Year
      It has become something of a tradition for me to write a note as we draw towards the end of the year to reflect on what has happened over the past 12 months. Doesn’t the time fly by? This year I’m delighted to be joined by a few colleagues around the firm who have put down some thoughts on what has stood out for them over the course of 2023.
      At Stowe, it has been quite a year again! I’m trying to find some clever way of linking “Stowe” and “grow” together but have failed but yet again we have continued to cement our place as the most dominant family law practice in the country. We saw our colleague numbers increase to over 360 with a total of 178 lawyers serving 88 locations around the country. Yes, that’s right, we have 88 office locations, adding 22 new locations including those from Watson Thomas and Crisp & Co. this year. It has been an absolute pleasure to get to know our new colleagues from those two firms, to learn about their ways of working and what they have done to make themselves successful to continue improve our own Stowe Way of Working.
      Our client numbers also increased by 25% and by early December we had over 4,000 progressing matters underway as we continue to strive to support more and more people.
      Joanna Newton on The Rise of the Legal Age of Marriage
      In February this year, the legal age of marriage rose to 18. This has meant that 16- and 17-year-olds who were previously allowed to marry with parental consent are no longer allowed to marry or enter a civil partnership in England and Wales.
      As of 27th February, it is now a criminal offence to arrange a marriage for under 18-year-olds under any circumstances. The offence is now punishable by 7 years in prison.
      The idea behind this new law is to better protect children from being forced into underage marriages and protect them from abuse and coercion. The change is to crack down on forced marriages which can cause lasting psychological, and sometimes physical, damage on a child. It is also part of the government’s continuing commitment to tackling violence against women and girls.
      Prior to the Marriage and Civil Partnerships (Minimum Age) Act 2023, the law had been unchanged since 1949 and had legitimised child marriage with children aged 16 and 17 permitted to marry with their parents’ consent.
      The mechanism of parental consent which existed under that law, whilst meant to be a safeguard, has, in some cases, proved to be a vehicle for parental abuse.
      This change is a welcome relief and over the coming years we will hopefully see it having a considerable impact reducing the number of forced marriages and violence against girls in particular.
      Gemma Davison on Changes to Fertility Legislation
      Earlier this year, the government announced that there would be a change to fertility law which aims to reduce the discrimination that female same-sex couples face when they are looking to conceive via reciprocal IVF (where one woman provides her egg and the other carries the child). It will also encompass a change for same-sex couples where one or both partners have HIV but the viral load is undetectable.
      Female same-sex couples will no longer be required to have an additional screening for infectious diseases (including rubella, hepatitis B and C) which will remove this extra barrier not faced by heterosexual couples and reduce costs by up to £1000.
      For same-sex couples with undetectable HIV viral loads, the change in legislation will mean that the couple will have access to IVF treatment, including known sperm or egg cell donation to friends or relatives.
      These changes will hopefully work to reduce the inequality that exists between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples regarding fertility options and treatment. However, there is still a way to go.
      In August 2022 as part of the Women’s Health Strategy, the government committed to removing all financial barriers for same-sex couples that are not faced by heterosexual couples. We are still awaiting this change. I hope to see more progress in reducing discrimination in the fertility space and more support of this method of parenthood in 2024.
      Megan Brookfield on ‘Love bombing’ being Recognised as a Sign of Abuse by CPS
      In April this year, the Crown Prosecution Service updated their guidance on controlling and coercive behaviour to include the term ‘love bombing’. The guidance now advises prosecutors on the range of tactics perpetrators of abuse can use against their victim and discusses love bombing and what this entails. Love bombing is a phrase used to describe a scenario whereby the abuser will periodically carry out over-the-top loving acts in between other behaviour to confuse and control their victim. It is most commonly seen in the early stages of a relationship.
      The update is a positive step. It has highlighted the diverse ways in which perpetrators can exact control of their victim. Furthermore, it provides a degree of clarity on the role of love bombing and how it is a coercive tactic. It also gives family lawyers a legal framework with which to support clients and indeed when obtaining protective orders from the family court.
      There are still numerous challenges to face when proving coercive control. The updates in legal framework have certainly improved this, but it is clear that more work needs to be done to help and support survivors and their families, particularly for those seeking to leave their abusive relationship.
      Ashley Le Core on Child Arrangements in International Divorces
      Most of us will have seen something about the divorce of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner earlier this year. Their divorce raised some very interesting points in the family law space, including which jurisdiction should accept the divorce proceedings and associated financial remedy proceedings. This is particularly important to consider, as different jurisdictions will provide two differing ways of handling assets, which could favour one party over the other.
      However, most of the media drama of the divorce has been specifically about child arrangements, raising the issue of who gets the kids in international divorces, as Turner is British and Jonas is American. From media reports, it appeared that they had planned to settle their two young daughters in England. Initial divorce proceedings, however, saw some issues on this front, including accusations of child abduction.
      Unlike many divorces, these parents are of course very wealthy and therefore the reality is that wherever the determination is made that the children shall primarily reside, the other parent should be more than able to purchase an appropriate property in that country and therefore, the impact on the children will be drastically reduced. This is of course not available to every party in such cases.
      No absolute certain details are known about the long-term arrangements in relation to this divorce at this stage, but in the interim, the girls will travel between the UK and the US. In international divorces generally, it is unlikely the court would expect children to be travelling between countries on a regular basis, especially if they are of school age. In these cases, the primary focus has to be their schooling.  The onus would therefore be on one of the parents to do more of the travelling and to have a base in the relevant jurisdiction. The children then spend more quality time with their parents over longer periods such as school holidays.
      The Jonas/Turner divorce has been an interesting study in the various complex aspects involved in international and multi-jurisdictional divorces and has particularly drawn attention to what happens to children in such circumstances.
      A Final Sign Off
      There is little I can add to what has been said so eloquently above and a huge thanks to them for taking the time to share their thoughts. Family law is always evolving whether that is to reflect the changing values of our society, to adapt to the political or economic climate or to anticipate what factors such as new (and what can seem scary) technology. As a leadership team we are constantly surveying the horizon to see what might be coming up, whether that is a possible change of government or some new AI innovation. Whatever happens I do believe that 2024 will be great and exciting year.
      Wishing you and your families a safe, restful and joyous festive season.
      Julian, and all at Stowe Family Law. More

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      in Children

      The Impact of the Housing Crisis on Divorcing Couples

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      Whilst the impact of the cost-of-living crisis is ongoing, the housing crisis in the UK has taken a front seat in the media. The market has seen record high mortgage rates which has become a battleground for divorcing couples, as well as sky-high rental prices and a lack of housing.
      These issues are having a significant impact on divorcing couples across the country.
      Housing is often a contentious subject in divorce proceedings, as couples fight over whether to keep the family home, and, if they do, who gets to live in it. As mortgage rates have risen, what to do with the marital property has become an increasingly tricky subject.
      What happens to the home in divorce?
      Generally, there are three options for divorcing couples when it comes to property. The first is to sell the house and pay off whatever mortgage is left. They then divide any equity. This money is used to put a deposit down on a new house or to rent a property.
      The second option is to keep the family home and the mortgage in both names. The couple agree to sell the property at a later date, for example when their youngest child turns 18.
      Finally, in some divorces, one party will buy out the other’s interest in the house and transfer ownership into their sole name.
      If you decide to sell the marital home, equity is apportioned according to various factors, including the borrowing capacity of each party.
      Nevertheless, being able to afford two separate properties is not always guaranteed especially in the current climate.
      If you are unable to come to an agreement with your ex-spouse about your marital property, it may be necessary for the court to step in. Although the court’s starting point will be a 50/50 split of the assets, the decision will be based on fairness, depending on the needs of each party, their future earning capacity, the wellbeing of any children.
      For those going into renting, no-fault evictions are a concern. The government has again delayed the Renters (Reform) Bill. This piece of legislation would improve security for renters as it would impose restrictions and obligations on private landlords, preventing them from evicting tenants without proof under Section 21 of the Housing Act.
      What options are there?
      The housing crisis is making property decisions increasingly difficult. Combined with the impact of the cost-of-living crisis, couples going through divorce are having to think outside the box.
      Birdnesting is one such avenue. This is where the children stay in the family home, and their parents rotate into and out of the house. Each parent will have a set amount of time in the house, dependent on the child arrangement agreement.
      However, this means that they will also need a separate living arrangement, but many turn to friends or family as a temporary solution.
      However, this is not always possible. As the housing crisis continues, we will likely see more divorcing couples coming up with creative solutions to the housing issues.
      It is important to discuss all the avenues available to you with a lawyer. When there has been full financial disclosure, negotiations can begin on what the marital pot will allow.
      Useful Links
      Property in Divorce – what you need to know
      How to financially plan for your divorce: Watch on YouTube
      Top 3 Financial Considerations
      Budgeting Solo in the Cost of Living Crisis: Watch on YouTube
      Can I afford to divorce my partner?
      Dangers of a DIY Divorce: Listen on Spotify
      Taking control of your finances on separation and beyond: Listen on Spotify More

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      How to manage the Cost-of-Christmas Crisis

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      It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
      But it’s also one of the most expensive.
      The Cost of Christmas Crisis, as it has been coined, is taking its toll again this year. Recent research from easymoney has revealed that people are cutting down on their Christmas spending this year, as the cost-of-living crisis has an ongoing impact. 59% of us are looking to make cuts this year, with 55% of respondents stating that whilst they usually have an extra savings pot put aside for Christmas, they have saved less than planned.
      Financial Planner Jodie Phelps has put together some top tips on how to manage your money in the Cost of Christmas Crisis when the purse strings are tighter than ever.

      Be aware of the potential for emotional spending during the holidays. Stay mindful of your emotions and instead of using retail therapy as a coping mechanism write a list of other things you enjoy doing so when you feel yourself about to spend do the other things on your list instead (eg. take a bath, go for a run, call a friend)
      BUT, recognise the emotional challenges that may arise during the holidays and prioritise self-care; allocate budget for activities that bring you joy and contribute to your well-being
      Develop a budget that reflects your changed financial circumstances and keep track of your spending
      Create a list of people you want to buy gifts for and allocate a specific amount for each person
      Consider creative and thoughtful gifts that don’t necessarily have to be expensive (eg. photo collages, scrap books, experiences). Remember, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones and creating meaningful memories, not just about the gifts.
      If you have a large family or friend group, consider setting limits on the amount spent on gifts or participating in a Secret Santa
      Plan your holiday meals in advance and create a shopping list. This can help you avoid last-minute, impulse food purchases/takeaways
      Be mindful of impulse purchases, especially when faced with holiday sales and promotions
      Look for discounts, compare prices, and consider using cashback or price-tracking tools to find the best deals
      After the holidays, review your spending and assess what worked well and what didn’t. Use this information to plan for the next holiday season.
      Make a note of your Christmas pay date when budgeting, as it’s usually earlier in December. Plan for the long stretch between Christmas pay day and January pay day
      Start saving a monthly amount for next Christmas so that next year you have money allocated for you to enjoy Christmas.

      You can find out more about Jodie on her LinkedIn.
      Relationship Tensions
      Financial tensions are a huge driver in divorce enquiries, and in a survey that we conducted, 60% of respondents said that the crisis was negatively affecting their relationship.
      If you do find that tensions around money build between you and your partner around this time of year, here are some suggestions on how to safeguard your relationship at Christmas. It’s important to remember that Christmas does not cause divorce and relationship breakdown. However, it can expose pre-existing issues, so getting to the root of the problem is very important.
      Stowe Solicitor Abi Jones has some top tips on reducing tensions around the festive season:

      Communicate – communication is central to healthy relationships and talking through your worries with your partner can help to alleviate pressure
      Lean on friends or family members outside of your relationship for support if needed
      Figure out where your priorities are, and if they are different to your partner’s
      If you have differing priorities, try to compromise and find where your middle ground lies
      Consider speaking to a financial planner or another professional – you can find our recommended partners in our Divorce Directory
      Try to focus on the positives, even if they seem insignificant. Small changes can make big differences over time
      Come up with interesting ways to celebrate this time of year together without the pressure of money
      Try to have some time together. Christmas can be a very busy time so spending time with each other is essential. It does not have to be big or expensive. It could be as simple as having a movie night together when the children are in bed.

      First Christmas After Separation
      Abi discusses how to manage your first Christmas after separation.
      It may be that this is your first Christmas after divorce or relationship breakdown. If this is the case, you may be more worried about money than you usually are as you may well have gone from a dual income household to single income. Not only this, but the routine and traditions of the day may also suddenly be different.

      Create experiences, rather than physical gifts
      Downsize your giving
      Use second-hand website such as Vinted or ebay
      Do Secret Santa instead of buying gifts for everyone
      Make home-made gifts
      Keep the celebrations small
      Don’t be tempted by payday loans, as this may cause more issues later on
      If you have young children, toy appeals may be available. Certain charities have toy appeals where individuals can donate toys which are then distributed between families
      Try not to compare your Christmas to others, either of your past or other people’s
      Manage the expectations of any children – let them know that change is normal but ensure they are informed of what changes, scheduling, what will be happening, where and when.

      Remember that Christmas is one day. There is a great deal of pressure for Christmas Day to be perfect, but it is just one day in the year.
      Think about how you want to spend your Christmas. Would you like to spend it with a friend, with family or even alone. This is an opportunity to make new traditions.
      Lastly, Christmas does not necessarily have to take place on 25th December. If this is the first year you do not have the children after going through a divorce or separation you can always pause your Christmas until the day after or have it before.
      Useful Links
      Financial Wellbeing with Jodie Phelps or watch on YouTube
      Surviving Christmas after Separation
      Child arrangements at Christmas
      Christmas alone with divorce and break-up coach Claire Macklin
      Budgeting solo during a cost-of-living crisis: Listen on Spotify or Watch on YouTube
      Supporting children through divorce: Listen on Spotify More

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      in Children

      November Stowe Support roundup

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      Stowe Support is a dedicated home for Stowe’s free resources designed to help inform and support anyone with family law concerns.
      With new blogs, guides, podcasts, videos and events shared each month, here’s a handy Stowe Support roundup from the past month in case you missed anything.
      Here’s your monthly roundup of Stowe Support resources in case you missed anything.
      Latest blogs from Stowe
      Divorce finances: How DIY divorce can backfire
      What is a Financial Settlement and How Does It Work?
      Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide
      Unique Challenges of LGBTQIA+ Divorce
      I’m not the ‘breadwinner’ in my divorce
      How do separated parents split Christmas?
      Watch recent webinars
      Cardiff Break Up Club: Surviving Christmas after separation
      Stowe talks 23/24: Parenting alongside a narcissist with Dr Supriya McKenna
      Listen to Stowe talks podcasts on Spotify

      Stowe Support
      To explore our full range of resources dedicated to helping people with family law matters, visit Stowe Support.
      Here you’ll find a wealth of helpful guides, videos and blogs on divorce and separation, finances, children, domestic abuse, cohabitation, alternative parenting, mediation, as well as support with relationships and wellness. More

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      How do separated parents split Christmas?

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      Christmas arrangements for separated parents can be complex as you navigate how to split Christmas so you can both see your children. The usual plans of Christmases past may no longer be an option, and there’s no blueprint for what the holidays should look like now, or how you make them fair.
      There’s a lot to consider. How will the children spend time with each parent? Do divorced parents spend Christmas together? And if not, how do coparents split Christmas?
      Before you make a decision
      The guiding principle of family law is that children’s well being comes first. Neither parent has more right to see their child at Christmas. The benefit of this is that you and your coparent are free to create a plan that’s centred on your children and their needs.
      How do separated parents split Christmas?
      Unless you continue to spend Christmas together, there will need to be some compromise about how you divide your time with your kids. Here are some common options.
      What are my options for splitting Christmas with my ex?
      So, how do you split Christmas when divorced? You and your ex can create a plan that best suits your exact situation, but it’s useful to have a starting point for discussions. Here are some examples:
      Option 1: Split Christmas in half
      Children get to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one parent, before swapping over to spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with the other.
      Depending on when Christmas day lands you might try to align this with your children’s usual routine with each parent. Or you could agree to make an exception and then revert back to your usual routine after the festivities.
      Option 2: Take a week each
      Children get to spend the first week of the school holidays with one parent to celebrate Christmas, and the second week with the other parents over New Year.
      If school holidays stretch over 3 weeks, you could divide the key days and split the rest of the time equally between you.
      Option 3: Have two Christmases
      Children get to celebrate Christmas twice; once on Christmas Day with one parent, and once on a designated day before or after the 25th December with the other.
      While appealing as a solution, it doesn’t altogether remove the question of who gets to spend the real Christmas Day with the children.
      Each of these options can be alternated yearly, on rotation.
      It’s a useful test to ask yourself if you’d be happy with the plans you’re proposing.
      Spending Christmas day with your ex
      Spending Christmas Day together with your children and your ex, is a great option if you’re on good terms and means you don’t have to divide the day up.
      For separated couples who remain friends, Christmas can be a good opportunity to show that you’re still united as parents.
      Before you make the decision, ask yourself if it will create a healthy dynamic on the day for your children and consider whether it risks confusing matters.
      If you and your ex live far apart
      If you and your ex live far apart, splitting Christmas in half would mean your children spending a proportion of their Christmas Day travelling. Be sure your plan is genuinely prioritising them.
      Avoiding Christmas alone
      Celebrating Christmas alone isn’t for everyone, so try to ensure that your plan allows enough time for you or your ex to travel to stay with family or friends whilst not with your children.
      How about new partners?
      Handling Christmas with a blended family comes with additional challenges. There may be differing opinions about whether the children should spend Christmas with a parent and their new partner.
      It’s understandable that this situation can stir strong emotions; after all the new partner may get to spend Christmas Day with your children, when you don’t.
      However hard it is, prioritising the children’s needs is crucial. It’s wise to approach things as you’d want them to be approached.
      Introducing a new partner to children at Christmas isn’t ideal, so collaborating on how and when to introduce any new partners to the children is also essential.
      Seeing the wider family
      Christmas is often a time for seeing loved ones, such as Grandparents. Try to arrange time for your children to see your wider family during the time they spend with you.
      Should separated parents buy joint gifts for their children?
      Splitting costs and continuing to buy your children presents ‘from Mum and Dad’ can send a message that they remain central in your lives even though you’re no longer together.
      Joint present giving is an especially good idea if you will be spending Christmas day altogether. It also helps to avoid competitive gift giving or one parent trying to win favour with lavish presents.
      Agree an overall budget that’s manageable for you both, and the gifts you plan to buy each child. You can also divide the task of buying gifts so that things are equal.
      There is the risk that one parent also buys a separate gift ‘just from them’ so be clear about whether this is part of your agreement or not.
      Put the plan in writing
      Once you and your coparent have reached an agreement, it is a good idea to write it down and send to the other parents via message or email. That way if there are any issues, and misunderstandings, they can be resolved before Christmas.
      Stick to the plan
      It’s vital that you stick to the Christmas arrangements made so that everyone knows what to expect, including the children. This will encourage ongoing cooperation for future Christmases and special occasions.
      Strained relations
      You and your ex have been through a lot. It’s understandable that discussions might be difficult, especially if you’re not on good terms or your partner isn’t concerned with keeping things fair.
      Remember, you can’t control how your former-partner reacts, you can only control your own words and actions.
      During negotiations, communicate with your coparent in person where possible, or speak on a video call or over the phone, where discussions are less likely to be misinterpreted.
      What if we can’t reach an agreement about Christmas?
      If you reach a stalemate making plans for Christmas with your ex, you can take advice from a family lawyer or family mediator who can help you try to find some common ground.
      As a last resort when cooperation is just not possible, you can seek a decision from the family court via a court order called a specific issues order with the help of a specialist family lawyer.
      Splitting Christmas after divorce
      Dealing with Christmas after separation is difficult. Successfully setting aside your differences and reaching an agreement with your ex on how best to guide your family through the celebrations is something you should be proud of.
      Equally, things might not be perfect. And that’s okay too. With ongoing collaboration between you and your ex-partner, you can learn and adjust.
      Get in touch
      If you and your ex-partner can’t agree on how to split time with your children over Christmas, you can contact out family law team to discuss your options.
      Useful links
      Making arrangements for children this Christmas
      Surviving your first Christmas after separation
      Surviving Christmas after separation
      Stowe talks – dealing with conflict about Christmas More