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    Changes to IVF Legislation

    Changes to Fertility Laws
    The government recently announced an upcoming change to fertility legislation which will lessen the discrimination that same-sex female couples experience in trying to conceive via reciprocal IVF.
    At the moment, female same-sex couples who are looking to have a child via the route of reciprocal IVF – meaning one woman provides her egg and the other carries the child – are required to undergo a screening for infectious diseases, including hepatitis B, hepatitis C and rubella. This can cost up to £1000.
    However, heterosexual couples going through the same process do not need to have this screening.
    The government have now announced that this will be changed, removing the additional barrier and significant extra cost only applied to female same-sex couples.
    Furthermore, changes will be brought in for same-sex couples where one or both partners have HIV, but the viral load is undetectable. In these situations, the couple will now be able to access IVF treatment, including known sperm or egg cell donation to friends or relatives.
    Stowe Partner Gemma Davison investigates these changes in more detail.
    The options for IVF treatment have been expanded with advancements in science and technology, allowing more couples to start a family through this method. However, there are still obstacles for many in accessing this treatment, particularly for same-sex couples who have additional hurdles and cost specific to themselves to overcome. This has meant ongoing inequality between heterosexual couples and same-sex couples who want to become parents.
    The government’s announcement that the cost associated with extra tests that female same-sex couples must undergo if they wish to pursue reciprocal IVF is very welcome, and long overdue.
    The changes to laws around HIV load in same-sex couples is also welcome, and will mean that, for those individuals and couples where the viral load is undetectable, access to IVF treatment will be opened.
    These changes, when they are enacted, will work to reduce the inequality that exists between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples when it comes to accessing fertility treatment. However, they will not completely remove the barriers that exist, particularly around costs, although the government has committed to removing all the financial barriers associated with IVF/fertility treatment.
    For example, at the moment, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) guidelines suggest that women under 40 should be offered three cycles of IVF funded by the NHS if:

    They have been trying to get pregnant through regular unprotected sex for two years
    Or they have not got pregnant after 12 cycles of artificial insemination

    However, if tests show that there is no chance of naturally conceiving a baby and that IVF is the only treatment likely to result in conception, the woman should be referred immediately for IVF.
    Currently, this is guidance only and not universally adopted by integrated care boards for their local area. Essentially, then, it is a postcode lottery for treatment and again, in many cases, female same-sex couples suffer inequality and huge costs if they want to conceive through IVF.
    In the Women’s Health Strategy (August 2022), the government committed to removing all financial barriers, including the requirement for female same-sex couples to pay for 6 artificial insemination cycles privately before they are eligible for NHS funded IVF. Heterosexual couples are do not have to self-fund any treatments before being eligible for NHS IVF treatment.
    Unfortunately, we are still awaiting this change. And, until the change in fertility legislation that has been announced by the government becomes law, there are still financial and practical barriers that mean same-sex couples face inequality in their journey to parenthood.
    Hopefully, we will see more change and action soon.
    Useful Links
    Fertility Network UK
    Our Child Law Solicitors
    Surrogacy in the UK: Watch on Youtube
    Surrogacy in 2 minutes: Watch on Youtube
    Embryo Storage after Divorce More

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    Introducing Stowe talks podcast series 4

    Stowe talks podcast
    Series 4 of Stowe talks podcast and videos series has begun. 
    As ever, in each episode hosts Liza and Matt are joined by a special guest to explore a specific topic in detail.
    Alongside our expert guests, in Stowe talks series 4 we explore:

    Parenting alongside a narcissist
    The dangers of DIY divorce
    How to prepare for your financial settlement
    Supporting teenagers through divorce
    Prenups, postnups and petnups
    The unique challenges of a relationship break down in the LGBTQIA+ community
    Creating financial wellbeing following separation
    Supporting male victims of domestic abuse
    Building your family through surrogacy.

    The latest episodes
    Series 4 of Stowe talks begins with ‘Parenting alongside a narcissist’, a 2-part conversation with renowned narcissist expert Dr Supriya McKenna.
    Building on our previous episodes, in part one Dr Supriya starts by explaining what narcissistic personality disorder is and how this manifests in their behaviour, especially during divorce and parenting.
    We then continue the conversation in part two, looking at learning to manage the narcissist behaviour, how to best support your children, dealing with legal and financial abuse, the family court, and learning how to raise the threshold of what triggers you.
    Quick links
    Listen to Stowe talks on spotify
    Watch Stow talks on YouTube More

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    Blended families and stepparents: A beginners guide

    On average, marriages in England and Wales last little over 12 years at the time of divorce. But as people find love again after divorce or separation, blended families are created and family dynamics evolve.
    It’s now estimated that 1 in 3 families in the UK are a blended family, also known as stepfamily.
    In fact, in contrast to traditional stepfamily stereotypes, the narrative of blended families has transformed – even King Charles III is a member of a blended family.
    For many couples, divorce can mark the beginning of a happier new era for them and their children.
    Knowing how to make a blended family work can take time and effort but fuelled by love, the choices made by separated parents can transform a family structure.
    What is a blended family?
    Blended families are created when a couple begin a new life together with their children from one, or both, of their previous relationships.
    What’s behind the increase in blended families?
    Divorce rates are on the rise meaning more people starting new relationships are divorced, with children.
    For example, the latest ONS marriage statistics released in 2022 show that over 32% of marriages include at least one partner who is remarrying. Of course, these figures can’t track the number of couples where one or both partners have previously been in an unmarried relationship.
    Still, it’s understood there are at least 1.1 million children in England and Wales who live in a blended stepfamily.
    Becoming a blended family
    While a positive experience for many, often the most significant concerns when forming a blended family are the integration of new family members and changes to living arrangements.
    Or, perhaps it’s more the reactions of each family member to these inevitable changes, and the emotions they bring, that pose the greatest challenges.
    While parents can appreciate the benefits of becoming a blended family and visualise what their stepfamily homelife could look like in the future, the children may struggle to share that vision. For them it can feel like a huge amount of change, affecting fundamental aspects of their lives, over which they have no control.
    As with any changes, some will take them in their stride, and others will need a greater degree of support and encouragement.
    Introducing a new partner
    Gradually making children aware of a new partner and giving plenty of notice when and how things will change is vital.
    This begins with establishing the right time and approach for introducing a new partner to children, and meeting future stepchildren if their partner also has children.
    Whatever the child’s age, it’s a good idea to prepare them ahead of introductions and offer them a sense of control over the situation. Having some level of control, even if only perceived control, allows us to deal with potentially upsetting or uncomfortable events more effectively.
    Challenges for children of blended families
    There’s a lot for children of blended families to take in. Maybe they’ve come to terms with their parent’s separation, and now there’s more change on the horizon.
    They must navigate the complexities of having stepparents, possibly step-siblings, and even step-grandparents, potentially forging multiple new relationships.
    Sharing loved ones, a home, and belongings with new members of the family can understandably raise worries and negative feelings and behaviour.
    Furthermore, the shift in family roles and responsibilities can become a source of tension, with two sets of parents each with different parenting styles, rules, and routines.
    Harmonising these differences and treating everyone fairly isn’t easy.
    How can I help my blended family succeed?

    Groundwork: It’s beneficial to do plenty of groundwork ahead of any changes to your family to help children process and adapt. Take your time and explain things clearly and openly.
    Communication: Telling children about changes in their living arrangements is a crucial step. Be upfront about what will change and when, and encourage children to ask questions and share any concerns.
    Tact: Handling the integration of new family members and routines delicately and with patience will help avoid unnecessary stress.
    Togetherness: Fostering a sense of unity within blended families can help, through identifying common ground, enjoying shared activities, and establishing new traditions when the time is right.
    Age appropriate: While younger children may adapt more readily, older children and teenagers may find the changes more difficult. Recognising these differences will help you provide the right support for each child’s needs.
    Belonging: Reassuring the child of their central place in the blended family will strengthen relationships and bolster their sense of belonging.
    Regularly connect: Ensure you also give your child one-on-one time where they have your undivided attention to reinforce how much you love and value them. Where it’s safe and appropriate, maintaining a sound connection with the non-residential parent is also important for a child’s well-being.
    Be consistent: Within reason, upholding pre-existing rules and traditions while gradually incorporating new ones helps create a stable environment. This steadiness offers children a sense of security during change.

    Legal considerations for blended families
    When couples create a blended family after separation or divorce it’s worth considering how they can protect their interests for whatever lies ahead.
    Couples who live together but are unmarried may be interested in finding out more about how Cohabitation Agreements can set out agreements regarding finances and children.
    Similarly, couples who are planning to remarry, might benefit from knowing how a prenuptial agreement can offer some financial protection for theirs and their children’s future in the event of divorce.
    With the right approach blended families offer the opportunity for a new beginning and a bigger and more diverse family network. Although evolving family structures demand flexibility, understanding, and effective communication, the rewards could last a lifetime.
    Useful links
    How to successfully co-parent
    Adopting a stepchild
    Stowe talks – How to co-parent calmly and navigate the challenges of blended families with Tom Nash More

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    Adopting a stepchild

    This week is national adoption week 2023. This annual initiative is designed to raise awareness of adoption and its multi-faceted experiences.
    As a family law firm, adoption is matter we support clients with often. And with over 1.1 million children in England and Wales estimated to live in a stepfamily, we’re often asked ‘how can I adopt my stepchild?’
    When couples have children from a prior relationship that live with them, and the step-parents have full day-to-day responsibility for the care of the stepchildren, they may choose to formalise their connection with these children.
    Adopting a stepchild is one way of doing this.
    Here, Resolution accredited adoption specialist and Stowe Senior Associate, Lucy Birch, answers some stepchild adoption FAQs.
    Is there a stepchild adoption assessment?
    If you choose to adopt your stepchild, you will be assessed just as you would if going through a ‘closed adoption’ process using an adoption agency. This ensures that the decision reached is in the best interests of the child.
    The assessment includes a report prepared by a social worker that includes information about you, your partner, the child, and the other birth parent.
    This report will inform the court so they can choose whether to grant the stepchild adoption court order.
    If your application is granted, you will then share parental responsibility for the child – alongside your spouse or partner.
    When and how do you take on parental responsibility during step-parent adoption?
    Successfully obtaining an adoption order from the court under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 provides the adoptive step-parent with parental responsibility for the child.
    The legal implications of this order are far reaching. It’s worthwhile highlighting that when the stepchild adoption order is granted, parental responsibility of the other birth parent (bar the partner or spouse in step-parent adoption cases), and anyone else with parental responsibility for the child, are extinguished.
    The legal significance of the adoption order is therefore great and careful consideration and advice needs to be taken when proceeding with stepchild adoption.
    What does Parental Responsibility entail?
    There is no legal checklist for what parental responsibility entails, however the law accepts that generally, it includes the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities, and authority which by law a parent of the child has in relation to the child and their property.
    In practical terms this encompasses many things, such as decisions about schooling, medical treatment, or religious decisions for the child.
    Having parental responsibility has a significant impact from a legal perspective, including the types of legal orders that you are able to apply to the court for and whether permission is required.
    Importantly, if you have parental responsibility for a child, generally speaking you do not need permission to apply for a variety of orders under the children act.
    Can you change your stepchild’s surname?
    The application for an adoption order is called an A58 form and within the form you can specify what you would like the child’s new name to be recognised as on the adoption certificate.
    Some people decide to change the child’s surname to reflect their new family set-up.
    What are common issues of stepchild adoption safeguarding checks?
    Many of the applications I have dealt with in the UK include adoptive parents who have lived in various other countries around the world. It is worth noting at the outset that upon being matched with a social worker to work with you during the adoption process, they are likely to carry out safeguarding checks not only in the UK but also in the other countries you have lived in to ensure there are no safeguarding risks to the child.
    These checks can take a long time to conduct and conclude, particularly if the jurisdiction in question is notably inefficient at record keeping.
    I therefore always advise parents to make enquiries about stepchild adoption at the earliest opportunity if they are considering applying for an adoption order.
    Do we need the other birth parent’s consent?
    Assuming the other birth parents has parental responsibility, the question of the other birth parent’s consent is a crucial aspect of stepchild adoption proceedings and will determine whether the proceedings are what we call “non-contested” or “contested”.
    I always advise clients to make enquiries regarding the birth parents’ respective position at the earliest point, so that we can advise accordingly.
    If the other birth parent does not give consent, it is necessary to prepare a statement of facts to accompany your stepchild adoption application detailing why the court should dispense with the birth parents’ consent.
    The important things to note here are of course the attachment to the child in question, for example how often has the birth parent been in touch with that child?
    I do warn clients that there is always a possibility that the other birth parent will make a cross application for a child arrangements order once they have been served with adoption proceedings.
    If the other birth parent do not consent and a contested hearing is required, the court will hear evidence from all parties before they establish whether it’s right to remove the need for the other birth parent’s consent.
    In all instances, the fundamental priority of the family court is the child’s welfare.
    Related links
    Step-parent adoption: Insight from a family lawyer
    Who can adopt?
    Stowe Guide: Adopting a Child
    Get in touch
    If you’re looking for advice regarding adopting a stepchild, please do contact our  Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist lawyers. More

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    What happens to the children if me and my ex want to live in two different countries?

    By now, most of us will have seen the stories circulating about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s divorce. Whilst some parts are reportedly fairly straightforward, like their watertight prenup, it seems there may be some contentious issues regarding their two daughters and child custody battles.
    Seemingly, the young girls have had their official residence in England, the home of Turner, their mother. However, they are currently living in the United States with Jonas and the couple, after some back-and-forth, including a claim of ‘wrongful detention’ and child abduction, have decided to temporarily keep the children in New York. Child custody battles over the country of habitual residence can be extremely stressful for both parents and children.
    Although this may seem like a dispute only the super-wealthy and celebrities have, divorce cases involving children and two different jurisdictions do happen and child abduction in the context of divorce is more common than we may realise.
    Removing a child or children from the jurisdiction (i.e. from England or Wales) without the permission of the Court or the other parent, if there is a Child Arrangements Order or Residence Order in place, is known as international abduction. Sadly, international abduction is becoming increasingly common.
    Parental Child Abduction is where a parent or guardian of a child takes them out of their country of habitual residence – where they normally live – without the permission of others with parental responsibility or the courts.
    If you plan to move away, particularly abroad, after separating from your partner, it is best that this is agreed with your ex before any changes take place to prevent difficulties arising and potentially contentious and costly court proceedings. Mediation can assist in resolving these disputes and keeping the parents relationship amicable, which is in the children’s best interests.
    You can reach an agreement without using a divorce lawyer, but this agreement will not be legally binding should disputes arise down the line. However, for a legally binding document, you will need to obtain a child arrangements order and you should seek legal advice.
    Adding an international element to the situation throws a further spanner in the works as you as parents, or the Court should proceedings go down this route, will need to decide which country is going to be the habitual residence of the children and therefore where the children will live.
    Child custody battles in divorce can be exceptionally complicated, especially when habitual residence comes into play. However, there are laws in place that protect the children, and the child/ren’s wellbeing, along with the arrangements that will be in the children’s best interests, will be the ultimate focus of the family court.
    Whilst the drama of a celebrity divorce such as Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas’ can seem intense and sometimes overly acrimonious, what is going on behind the scenes is legally difficult as well as being a highly emotionally charged subject.
    Where the children should live if the parents are wanting to split to different countries is usually decided by the court (if the parents cannot agree), but further obstacles can arise with which country’s legal system should make the decision which may be the case for Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas’ girls given that they are currently staying in New York.
    It is essential if you find yourself in a multi-jurisdictional dispute, i.e. child custody battles across two different countries, that you seek professional advice from a lawyer in all jurisdictions concerned to ensure the enforceability of any order made. Our lawyers at Stowe are experts in tricky child cases and will be able to support you, and your children, through your unique situation.
    Useful Links
    Changing a Child Arrangements Order
    Bristol Break Up Club: Will divorce damage my children?
    Co-parenting calmly
    Supporting children through divorce More

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    My ex and I can’t agree on our child’s school

    What happens when separated parents can’t agree on schools?
    Now the autumn term is underway, the admissions window for school placements next September is now open. It’s a big decision for all parents and their children, but for separated parents it can become even more complicated – especially if they do not agree. For some, it can cause considerable tension between ex-partners, particularly as there is a finite deadline.
    Does my ex have the right to choose our child’s school even if I have primary care responsibilities?
    Choosing a school or changing a school can be approached as a standalone issue, regardless of who has primary care responsibilities.
    If your ex has parental responsibility, they have a duty and obligation as well as the right to decide how your child(ren) is educated. Unless there are exceptional circumstances, it is likely that your ex still has parental responsibility and therefore has a voice in the decision of your child’s school.
    Even if both parents have the child’s best interests at heart, this can still mean that they struggle to agree on the right school. A huge number of factors are involved in this decision and ultimately the well-being and education of the child(ren) should be central to the decision.
    Choosing the right school
    When going through a divorce or separation, children can often be caught in the middle of parental disputes.
    Supporting children through divorce can be difficult for parents as they may be experiencing turbulent emotions, however, divorce can have long-lasting impacts on a child’s emotional and mental health, no matter their age.
    Schools are a safe space for children to cope with the difficulties going on at home. They provide routine, structure and community so choosing the right one is very important.
    When considering changing school, and approaching an application, the practicalities of this change should be considered. For example, how the child(ren) will get to and from school, the academic credentials of the institution, and pastoral factors. The emotional and well-being aspect for the child must be central.
    If you can’t agree on your child’s school
    If you and your ex find that you can’t agree on a school, there are some steps you can take before involving the court.
    Having an open and honest conversation with your ex-partner, or anyone who shares parental responsibility is very important. You may find that there is some common ground.
    If you are having difficulties broaching the conversation with your ex, seeking out some professional support, for example from a mediator or even a divorce coach can help.
    Should these methods not work, and you find yourselves still disagreeing, then the matter can be referred to the court through a Specific Issue Order application. The court will consider the position of each parent and order where the child should go to school.
    You can also apply for a Specific Issue Order if you are not the child’s biological parent, but you have parental responsibility. For example, this can apply if you are the child’s legal guardian, or who the child lives with under the Child Arrangements Order.
    The court will be guided specifically by the welfare checklist which is laid out in s1(3) of the Children Act 1989.
    They will ensure the welfare of the child is the primary concern in decision making. This includes the wishes and feelings of the child, depending on their age and understanding, as well as their physical, emotional, and educational needs.
    The court will also consider what the impact of a change of school is likely to have on the child.
    Help with reaching a decision about schools
    For separating and divorcing parents, where their child/children should live and go to school is of the utmost importance. Should you find yourself at a deadlock with your ex-spouse over schooling, there are steps that can be taken, and professional support can be sought out.
    With applications for schools and changing schools now open, these next few weeks could be key decision-making time. There is guidance available to help ensure that your child’s welfare remains paramount, and their educational needs are met, particularly during a time of change in the home.
    Useful Links:
    Webinar: Will divorce damage my children?
    Making child arrangements
    Webinar: Supporting children through divorce
    Child arrangements order
    Effects of divorce on children More

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    Why is September a popular month for divorce?

    The impact of the summer holidays 
    September is usually a busy month for family lawyers, as it is a popular month for divorce. There tends to be an increase in divorce enquiries, particularly in comparison to August, which is quieter as families enjoy the long summer holidays.
    In fact, the summer break is sometimes seen as a reason for the rise in divorce enquiries in September. Families commonly spend more time together, and this can expose cracks in the relationship that may not otherwise have come to the surface.
    A similar phenomenon happens every January, termed by the media as ‘Divorce Day’. Divorce Day is the first working Monday of the year and has historically been the busiest day of the year for divorce enquiries, as the impact of a stressful Christmas and New Year takes its toll on relationships.
    For struggling couples, the summer holidays can bring deep-rooted issues out into the open. More time spent together, the need to provide entertainment for children, the financial demands of a holiday, and the pressure of having to be seen to have fun and be a happy family, can push relationships to the limit. 
    One of the key issues we as family lawyers see in September is how money worries surface after increased spending over the holidays. 
    Mortgage rates and economic uncertainty 
    Financial issues often play a significant role in relationship breakdown. They have been cited as the cause for a relationship breakdown in record numbers at Stowe over the past 18 months.
    Money can be a sensitive topic for even the strongest of couples. For those already struggling in their relationship, it can prove to be the final straw.
    Increasing mortgage rates are having a considerable impact on couples in the UK, potentially leading to consideration of divorce.
    Some couples are starting to see old deals (some as low as 2%) expire and new five-year fixed rates reach 6%, potentially more in coming months.
    Here at Stowe, we conducted a survey of 600 people across the UK on how mortgage rates are affecting families and relationships.
    The survey revealed that 82% of respondents have been or will be financially impacted by the inflation of mortgage rates.
    Almost a quarter (23%) responded they can no longer afford to pay their mortgage. Over half of the respondents said they were experiencing friction within their marriage or relationship because of this issue. 
    Over the cost-of-living crisis, divorce enquiries have risen to record highs, with financial issues regularly cited as a primary reason. 
    The economic climate, coupled with the pressure of the summer holidays, could prove too much for more couples, leading to them looking into divorce in September. 
    Financial problems and domestic abuse
    However, even accounting for the ongoing economic uncertainty and the rise in mortgage rates, the rise in September for divorce enquiries may not be as significant as has been seen in previous years.
    Recently, there has been a rise in the number of people who are unable to leave their marriage or relationship due to financial problems. 
    This is all the more concerning for people who are trapped in abusive relationships who are unable to leave their partner because they cannot support themselves financially on their own. 
    Victims of domestic abuse have been hit hard by the cost-of-living crisis. This is because financial hardship is connected to increasing physical, emotional and financial abuse. 
    Furthermore, inflation, and now mortgage rises, may mean more people cannot afford to divorce or separate from their partner, particularly if the abuser is using money as a means to control their partner.
    Will September 2023 be a popular month for divorce?
    For couples wanting to start the divorce process, money will certainly play a role in the decision. However, it will be interesting to see whether the economic environment will swing matters towards the usual September increase in enquiries or whether there will be a drop in couples wanting to start divorce proceedings.
    For those who choose to end their relationship, getting the right support and legal advice is crucial. Anyone suffering abuse who finds themselves in  immediate danger, please call the police. For advice on domestic abuse please call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
    Useful links
    Mortgage after divorce
    How much does divorce cost?
    Effects of divorce on children
    Economic abuse
    Holidays with children after divorce
    Legal help for domestic abuse victims More

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    Making arrangements for children this Christmas

    With less than two months until Christmas, now’s the time to agree how your children will spend time with their other parent during the holidays.
    Christmas can be a time of tension for separated parents as they plan the festivities and plan where and how they’ll each see the children. 
    So, we asked our Regional Director for Yorkshire, Rachel Roberts, to share her advice for parents on taking the strain out of making child arrangements for Christmas. 
    Child arrangements and Christmas
    As we approach December, we see a flurry of clients getting in touch for help to try and resolve arrangements for the festive season. 
    Before I turn to my tips on how best to manage arrangements, there are a couple of key points from the Government and family law sector that are certainly at the forefront of my mind when advising clients.
    Last year, a leading family judge made it clear that parties should only be bringing disputes over children to court where absolutely necessary. The judge went on to criticise parents for asking the court to micro-manage children arrangements. The view from the court is clear – where possible you should be sorting these things out yourself.
    The Government have said that further lockdowns are unlikely and have been clear that restrictions do not prevent children from moving between separated parents, provided they are not self-isolating. 
    It seems unlikely that this will change, and CAFCASS (the government body that advises the court on children disputes) has stressed the need for children to maintain their usual routine.
    All that said, it is naive to think that difficulties will not arise, and the following guidance may help avoid unhappiness at Christmas.
    Tips for making child arrangements during Christmas 
    Preparation is key
    If you do not have plans in place, now is the time to start. Talk to your ex-partner and agree on arrangements that work for you all.
    Some clients I have worked with agreed that the children would spend Christmas Eve at one home and then return to the other for lunch on Christmas Day.
    Other clients decided that they would spend the whole festive period with one parent and the next year spend it with the other, alternating between the two.
    It is a personal choice based on what works for your family, but also the age of the children, location and how amicable you are.
    Be prepared to be flexible as plans may need to change. 
    Focus on the children 
    First and foremost, put the children at the heart of the plans you make. A different type of Christmas can still be a good Christmas. Talk about the positive: two Christmas Days, two sets of presents etc.
    Make sure you share your plans with the children. Depending on the age of the children, ask them what they would like? Older children need to feel they have a voice. 
    Once in place, sharing plans with the children means they know where they will be throughout the holiday, and the routine will make them feel safe and secure.
    Creating a visual plan can help as dates can be difficult for a child to understand. One client created a Christmas themed wall planner for their younger children. A tech-savvy teenager may prefer a joint Google calendar.
    Be fair to the other parent
    If this is your first year as a separated parent, this will all feel very raw and difficult. It is likely that you will both be dreading not spending Christmas entirely with your children. 
    Even though it can be difficult, try to think about the impact of any plans on your former partner. Ask yourself if you would be happy with the proposed arrangements next year? If the answer is no, then maybe they should be reconsidered. 
    Stick to the plan
    This year may require a certain level of flexibility, but where possible, it is important that, whatever arrangements you come to, you both stick to the plan. 
    Last-minute changes can cause feelings of disruption and uncertainty for children. And, whilst flexibility is an essential part of positive child arrangements, it is important to maintain consistency and provide stability.
    Get advice early, if needed
    Christmas is chaotic and organising a co-parenting schedule on top of everything else is never going to be easy, especially if communication between you and your ex-partner is difficult. 
    If you are struggling this year, take advice from a family lawyer who can try to assist in negotiating an agreement. 
    If you cannot reach an agreement, mediation can help as the presence of a 3rd party often eases tensions and result in finding common ground. 
    Mediation is still taking place via video conferencing, and many of our clients have reported that it is easier than being in the same room as their former partner.
    Court proceedings are possible but should be used as a last resort, and, due to the current strain on courts from the pandemic, it is highly unlikely that you have any prospect of a contested hearing before Christmas. 
    Hopefully, these tips, combined with some careful planning, compromise and putting the children first,  will help you and your ex-partner move forward towards a harmonious Christmas.
    Get in touch 
    If you would like any advice on child arrangements during Christmas, or other family law issues, please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here. 
    This article was previously published and has since been updated.  More