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      in Family Law

      Adopting a stepchild

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      This week is national adoption week 2023. This annual initiative is designed to raise awareness of adoption and its multi-faceted experiences.
      As a family law firm, adoption is matter we support clients with often. And with over 1.1 million children in England and Wales estimated to live in a stepfamily, we’re often asked ‘how can I adopt my stepchild?’
      When couples have children from a prior relationship that live with them, and the step-parents have full day-to-day responsibility for the care of the stepchildren, they may choose to formalise their connection with these children.
      Adopting a stepchild is one way of doing this.
      Here, Resolution accredited adoption specialist and Stowe Senior Associate, Lucy Birch, answers some stepchild adoption FAQs.
      Is there a stepchild adoption assessment?
      If you choose to adopt your stepchild, you will be assessed just as you would if going through a ‘closed adoption’ process using an adoption agency. This ensures that the decision reached is in the best interests of the child.
      The assessment includes a report prepared by a social worker that includes information about you, your partner, the child, and the other birth parent.
      This report will inform the court so they can choose whether to grant the stepchild adoption court order.
      If your application is granted, you will then share parental responsibility for the child – alongside your spouse or partner.
      When and how do you take on parental responsibility during step-parent adoption?
      Successfully obtaining an adoption order from the court under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 provides the adoptive step-parent with parental responsibility for the child.
      The legal implications of this order are far reaching. It’s worthwhile highlighting that when the stepchild adoption order is granted, parental responsibility of the other birth parent (bar the partner or spouse in step-parent adoption cases), and anyone else with parental responsibility for the child, are extinguished.
      The legal significance of the adoption order is therefore great and careful consideration and advice needs to be taken when proceeding with stepchild adoption.
      What does Parental Responsibility entail?
      There is no legal checklist for what parental responsibility entails, however the law accepts that generally, it includes the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities, and authority which by law a parent of the child has in relation to the child and their property.
      In practical terms this encompasses many things, such as decisions about schooling, medical treatment, or religious decisions for the child.
      Having parental responsibility has a significant impact from a legal perspective, including the types of legal orders that you are able to apply to the court for and whether permission is required.
      Importantly, if you have parental responsibility for a child, generally speaking you do not need permission to apply for a variety of orders under the children act.
      Can you change your stepchild’s surname?
      The application for an adoption order is called an A58 form and within the form you can specify what you would like the child’s new name to be recognised as on the adoption certificate.
      Some people decide to change the child’s surname to reflect their new family set-up.
      What are common issues of stepchild adoption safeguarding checks?
      Many of the applications I have dealt with in the UK include adoptive parents who have lived in various other countries around the world. It is worth noting at the outset that upon being matched with a social worker to work with you during the adoption process, they are likely to carry out safeguarding checks not only in the UK but also in the other countries you have lived in to ensure there are no safeguarding risks to the child.
      These checks can take a long time to conduct and conclude, particularly if the jurisdiction in question is notably inefficient at record keeping.
      I therefore always advise parents to make enquiries about stepchild adoption at the earliest opportunity if they are considering applying for an adoption order.
      Do we need the other birth parent’s consent?
      Assuming the other birth parents has parental responsibility, the question of the other birth parent’s consent is a crucial aspect of stepchild adoption proceedings and will determine whether the proceedings are what we call “non-contested” or “contested”.
      I always advise clients to make enquiries regarding the birth parents’ respective position at the earliest point, so that we can advise accordingly.
      If the other birth parent does not give consent, it is necessary to prepare a statement of facts to accompany your stepchild adoption application detailing why the court should dispense with the birth parents’ consent.
      The important things to note here are of course the attachment to the child in question, for example how often has the birth parent been in touch with that child?
      I do warn clients that there is always a possibility that the other birth parent will make a cross application for a child arrangements order once they have been served with adoption proceedings.
      If the other birth parent do not consent and a contested hearing is required, the court will hear evidence from all parties before they establish whether it’s right to remove the need for the other birth parent’s consent.
      In all instances, the fundamental priority of the family court is the child’s welfare.
      Related links
      Step-parent adoption: Insight from a family lawyer
      Who can adopt?
      Stowe Guide: Adopting a Child
      Get in touch
      If you’re looking for advice regarding adopting a stepchild, please do contact our  Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist lawyers. More

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      in Children

      What happens to the children if me and my ex want to live in two different countries?

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      By now, most of us will have seen the stories circulating about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s divorce. Whilst some parts are reportedly fairly straightforward, like their watertight prenup, it seems there may be some contentious issues regarding their two daughters and child custody battles.
      Seemingly, the young girls have had their official residence in England, the home of Turner, their mother. However, they are currently living in the United States with Jonas and the couple, after some back-and-forth, including a claim of ‘wrongful detention’ and child abduction, have decided to temporarily keep the children in New York. Child custody battles over the country of habitual residence can be extremely stressful for both parents and children.
      Although this may seem like a dispute only the super-wealthy and celebrities have, divorce cases involving children and two different jurisdictions do happen and child abduction in the context of divorce is more common than we may realise.
      Removing a child or children from the jurisdiction (i.e. from England or Wales) without the permission of the Court or the other parent, if there is a Child Arrangements Order or Residence Order in place, is known as international abduction. Sadly, international abduction is becoming increasingly common.
      Parental Child Abduction is where a parent or guardian of a child takes them out of their country of habitual residence – where they normally live – without the permission of others with parental responsibility or the courts.
      If you plan to move away, particularly abroad, after separating from your partner, it is best that this is agreed with your ex before any changes take place to prevent difficulties arising and potentially contentious and costly court proceedings. Mediation can assist in resolving these disputes and keeping the parents relationship amicable, which is in the children’s best interests.
      You can reach an agreement without using a divorce lawyer, but this agreement will not be legally binding should disputes arise down the line. However, for a legally binding document, you will need to obtain a child arrangements order and you should seek legal advice.
      Adding an international element to the situation throws a further spanner in the works as you as parents, or the Court should proceedings go down this route, will need to decide which country is going to be the habitual residence of the children and therefore where the children will live.
      Child custody battles in divorce can be exceptionally complicated, especially when habitual residence comes into play. However, there are laws in place that protect the children, and the child/ren’s wellbeing, along with the arrangements that will be in the children’s best interests, will be the ultimate focus of the family court.
      Whilst the drama of a celebrity divorce such as Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas’ can seem intense and sometimes overly acrimonious, what is going on behind the scenes is legally difficult as well as being a highly emotionally charged subject.
      Where the children should live if the parents are wanting to split to different countries is usually decided by the court (if the parents cannot agree), but further obstacles can arise with which country’s legal system should make the decision which may be the case for Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas’ girls given that they are currently staying in New York.
      It is essential if you find yourself in a multi-jurisdictional dispute, i.e. child custody battles across two different countries, that you seek professional advice from a lawyer in all jurisdictions concerned to ensure the enforceability of any order made. Our lawyers at Stowe are experts in tricky child cases and will be able to support you, and your children, through your unique situation.
      Useful Links
      Changing a Child Arrangements Order
      Bristol Break Up Club: Will divorce damage my children?
      Co-parenting calmly
      Supporting children through divorce More

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      in Children

      My ex and I can’t agree on our child’s school

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      What happens when separated parents can’t agree on schools?
      Now the autumn term is underway, the admissions window for school placements next September is now open. It’s a big decision for all parents and their children, but for separated parents it can become even more complicated – especially if they do not agree. For some, it can cause considerable tension between ex-partners, particularly as there is a finite deadline.
      Does my ex have the right to choose our child’s school even if I have primary care responsibilities?
      Choosing a school or changing a school can be approached as a standalone issue, regardless of who has primary care responsibilities.
      If your ex has parental responsibility, they have a duty and obligation as well as the right to decide how your child(ren) is educated. Unless there are exceptional circumstances, it is likely that your ex still has parental responsibility and therefore has a voice in the decision of your child’s school.
      Even if both parents have the child’s best interests at heart, this can still mean that they struggle to agree on the right school. A huge number of factors are involved in this decision and ultimately the well-being and education of the child(ren) should be central to the decision.
      Choosing the right school
      When going through a divorce or separation, children can often be caught in the middle of parental disputes.
      Supporting children through divorce can be difficult for parents as they may be experiencing turbulent emotions, however, divorce can have long-lasting impacts on a child’s emotional and mental health, no matter their age.
      Schools are a safe space for children to cope with the difficulties going on at home. They provide routine, structure and community so choosing the right one is very important.
      When considering changing school, and approaching an application, the practicalities of this change should be considered. For example, how the child(ren) will get to and from school, the academic credentials of the institution, and pastoral factors. The emotional and well-being aspect for the child must be central.
      If you can’t agree on your child’s school
      If you and your ex find that you can’t agree on a school, there are some steps you can take before involving the court.
      Having an open and honest conversation with your ex-partner, or anyone who shares parental responsibility is very important. You may find that there is some common ground.
      If you are having difficulties broaching the conversation with your ex, seeking out some professional support, for example from a mediator or even a divorce coach can help.
      Should these methods not work, and you find yourselves still disagreeing, then the matter can be referred to the court through a Specific Issue Order application. The court will consider the position of each parent and order where the child should go to school.
      You can also apply for a Specific Issue Order if you are not the child’s biological parent, but you have parental responsibility. For example, this can apply if you are the child’s legal guardian, or who the child lives with under the Child Arrangements Order.
      The court will be guided specifically by the welfare checklist which is laid out in s1(3) of the Children Act 1989.
      They will ensure the welfare of the child is the primary concern in decision making. This includes the wishes and feelings of the child, depending on their age and understanding, as well as their physical, emotional, and educational needs.
      The court will also consider what the impact of a change of school is likely to have on the child.
      Help with reaching a decision about schools
      For separating and divorcing parents, where their child/children should live and go to school is of the utmost importance. Should you find yourself at a deadlock with your ex-spouse over schooling, there are steps that can be taken, and professional support can be sought out.
      With applications for schools and changing schools now open, these next few weeks could be key decision-making time. There is guidance available to help ensure that your child’s welfare remains paramount, and their educational needs are met, particularly during a time of change in the home.
      Useful Links:
      Webinar: Will divorce damage my children?
      Making child arrangements
      Webinar: Supporting children through divorce
      Child arrangements order
      Effects of divorce on children More

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      in Children

      Why is September a popular month for divorce?

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      The impact of the summer holidays 
      September is usually a busy month for family lawyers, as it is a popular month for divorce. There tends to be an increase in divorce enquiries, particularly in comparison to August, which is quieter as families enjoy the long summer holidays.
      In fact, the summer break is sometimes seen as a reason for the rise in divorce enquiries in September. Families commonly spend more time together, and this can expose cracks in the relationship that may not otherwise have come to the surface.
      A similar phenomenon happens every January, termed by the media as ‘Divorce Day’. Divorce Day is the first working Monday of the year and has historically been the busiest day of the year for divorce enquiries, as the impact of a stressful Christmas and New Year takes its toll on relationships.
      For struggling couples, the summer holidays can bring deep-rooted issues out into the open. More time spent together, the need to provide entertainment for children, the financial demands of a holiday, and the pressure of having to be seen to have fun and be a happy family, can push relationships to the limit. 
      One of the key issues we as family lawyers see in September is how money worries surface after increased spending over the holidays. 
      Mortgage rates and economic uncertainty 
      Financial issues often play a significant role in relationship breakdown. They have been cited as the cause for a relationship breakdown in record numbers at Stowe over the past 18 months.
      Money can be a sensitive topic for even the strongest of couples. For those already struggling in their relationship, it can prove to be the final straw.
      Increasing mortgage rates are having a considerable impact on couples in the UK, potentially leading to consideration of divorce.
      Some couples are starting to see old deals (some as low as 2%) expire and new five-year fixed rates reach 6%, potentially more in coming months.
      Here at Stowe, we conducted a survey of 600 people across the UK on how mortgage rates are affecting families and relationships.
      The survey revealed that 82% of respondents have been or will be financially impacted by the inflation of mortgage rates.
      Almost a quarter (23%) responded they can no longer afford to pay their mortgage. Over half of the respondents said they were experiencing friction within their marriage or relationship because of this issue. 
      Over the cost-of-living crisis, divorce enquiries have risen to record highs, with financial issues regularly cited as a primary reason. 
      The economic climate, coupled with the pressure of the summer holidays, could prove too much for more couples, leading to them looking into divorce in September. 
      Financial problems and domestic abuse
      However, even accounting for the ongoing economic uncertainty and the rise in mortgage rates, the rise in September for divorce enquiries may not be as significant as has been seen in previous years.
      Recently, there has been a rise in the number of people who are unable to leave their marriage or relationship due to financial problems. 
      This is all the more concerning for people who are trapped in abusive relationships who are unable to leave their partner because they cannot support themselves financially on their own. 
      Victims of domestic abuse have been hit hard by the cost-of-living crisis. This is because financial hardship is connected to increasing physical, emotional and financial abuse. 
      Furthermore, inflation, and now mortgage rises, may mean more people cannot afford to divorce or separate from their partner, particularly if the abuser is using money as a means to control their partner.
      Will September 2023 be a popular month for divorce?
      For couples wanting to start the divorce process, money will certainly play a role in the decision. However, it will be interesting to see whether the economic environment will swing matters towards the usual September increase in enquiries or whether there will be a drop in couples wanting to start divorce proceedings.
      For those who choose to end their relationship, getting the right support and legal advice is crucial. Anyone suffering abuse who finds themselves in  immediate danger, please call the police. For advice on domestic abuse please call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
      Useful links
      Mortgage after divorce
      How much does divorce cost?
      Effects of divorce on children
      Economic abuse
      Holidays with children after divorce
      Legal help for domestic abuse victims More

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      in Children

      Making arrangements for children this Christmas

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      With less than two months until Christmas, now’s the time to agree how your children will spend time with their other parent during the holidays.
      Christmas can be a time of tension for separated parents as they plan the festivities and plan where and how they’ll each see the children. 
      So, we asked our Regional Director for Yorkshire, Rachel Roberts, to share her advice for parents on taking the strain out of making child arrangements for Christmas. 
      Child arrangements and Christmas
      As we approach December, we see a flurry of clients getting in touch for help to try and resolve arrangements for the festive season. 
      Before I turn to my tips on how best to manage arrangements, there are a couple of key points from the Government and family law sector that are certainly at the forefront of my mind when advising clients.
      Last year, a leading family judge made it clear that parties should only be bringing disputes over children to court where absolutely necessary. The judge went on to criticise parents for asking the court to micro-manage children arrangements. The view from the court is clear – where possible you should be sorting these things out yourself.
      The Government have said that further lockdowns are unlikely and have been clear that restrictions do not prevent children from moving between separated parents, provided they are not self-isolating. 
      It seems unlikely that this will change, and CAFCASS (the government body that advises the court on children disputes) has stressed the need for children to maintain their usual routine.
      All that said, it is naive to think that difficulties will not arise, and the following guidance may help avoid unhappiness at Christmas.
      Tips for making child arrangements during Christmas 
      Preparation is key
      If you do not have plans in place, now is the time to start. Talk to your ex-partner and agree on arrangements that work for you all.
      Some clients I have worked with agreed that the children would spend Christmas Eve at one home and then return to the other for lunch on Christmas Day.
      Other clients decided that they would spend the whole festive period with one parent and the next year spend it with the other, alternating between the two.
      It is a personal choice based on what works for your family, but also the age of the children, location and how amicable you are.
      Be prepared to be flexible as plans may need to change. 
      Focus on the children 
      First and foremost, put the children at the heart of the plans you make. A different type of Christmas can still be a good Christmas. Talk about the positive: two Christmas Days, two sets of presents etc.
      Make sure you share your plans with the children. Depending on the age of the children, ask them what they would like? Older children need to feel they have a voice. 
      Once in place, sharing plans with the children means they know where they will be throughout the holiday, and the routine will make them feel safe and secure.
      Creating a visual plan can help as dates can be difficult for a child to understand. One client created a Christmas themed wall planner for their younger children. A tech-savvy teenager may prefer a joint Google calendar.
      Be fair to the other parent
      If this is your first year as a separated parent, this will all feel very raw and difficult. It is likely that you will both be dreading not spending Christmas entirely with your children. 
      Even though it can be difficult, try to think about the impact of any plans on your former partner. Ask yourself if you would be happy with the proposed arrangements next year? If the answer is no, then maybe they should be reconsidered. 
      Stick to the plan
      This year may require a certain level of flexibility, but where possible, it is important that, whatever arrangements you come to, you both stick to the plan. 
      Last-minute changes can cause feelings of disruption and uncertainty for children. And, whilst flexibility is an essential part of positive child arrangements, it is important to maintain consistency and provide stability.
      Get advice early, if needed
      Christmas is chaotic and organising a co-parenting schedule on top of everything else is never going to be easy, especially if communication between you and your ex-partner is difficult. 
      If you are struggling this year, take advice from a family lawyer who can try to assist in negotiating an agreement. 
      If you cannot reach an agreement, mediation can help as the presence of a 3rd party often eases tensions and result in finding common ground. 
      Mediation is still taking place via video conferencing, and many of our clients have reported that it is easier than being in the same room as their former partner.
      Court proceedings are possible but should be used as a last resort, and, due to the current strain on courts from the pandemic, it is highly unlikely that you have any prospect of a contested hearing before Christmas. 
      Hopefully, these tips, combined with some careful planning, compromise and putting the children first,  will help you and your ex-partner move forward towards a harmonious Christmas.
      Get in touch 
      If you would like any advice on child arrangements during Christmas, or other family law issues, please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here. 
      This article was previously published and has since been updated.  More

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      in Family Law

      Child Arrangements Orders – what you need to know

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      A Child Arrangements Order is a legal court order that helps to ensure the welfare of children. They are most commonly used in cases where divorcing or separating parents have not been able to agree who their children will live with, or how they will see each parent. Here Stowe Solicitor Zoe Carter explains more.

      What is the purpose of a Child Arrangements Order?
      The purpose of a Child Arrangements Order is to legally define with whom a child is to live (previously termed residence) and with whom they should spend time (otherwise known as contact). This essentially sets out who has the responsibility for care of the child and when. Whilst Child Arrangements Orders replace ‘residence orders’ and ‘contact orders’, parents with these previous types of orders do not need to re-apply for a new order.
       
      What does a Child Arrangements Order cover?
      The Child Arrangements Order will cover who the child/children will live with and how and when they will see each parent. For example, it may say that the child/children should live with both parents on a shared care basis, or it may say they should live with one parent and spend weekends with the other. It will also likely cover arrangements for holidays including trips abroad and school holiday periods.
      A Child Arrangements Orders can also set out other types of contact and frequencies including phone or video calls, and letters and cards.

      Who can apply for a Child Arrangements Order?
      There are 2 categories of people that can apply:
      1 Those who have an automatic right to apply – this includes:
      a) Any parent regardless of whether they have Parental Responsibility or not (whether they are named on the birth certificate)
      b) A Step-parent (including those in a civil partnership);
      c) Any person with whom the child has lived for at least 3 years (this does not have to be continuous)
      d) A Local Authority foster parent
      e) A relative of a child who has lived with them for a period of at least one year preceding the application (for this purpose, a relative is deemed to be a grandparent, sister, brother, aunt or uncle)
      f) If you already have a child arrangements order in your favour, you can also apply straight away.
      2 Those required to have Leave (the courts permission) to apply. This covers anyone not automatically entitled to apply in section 1 above. Usually, this category would cover anyone in the child’s life that does not have Parental Responsibility which would typically include grandparents – unless they are considered a guardian for the child, they will need Leave of the court.
      The court will consider a number of  factors when deciding whether or not to grant leave including the nature of the application; the applicant’s relationship and connection with the child, any risk that the proposed application may disrupt the child’s life to such a degree that the child would be harmed, if a child is being looked after by a Local Authority the court will also consider their plans for the child’s future and wishes/feelings of the parents.

      When should I apply for a Child Arrangements Order?
      A Child Arrangements Order should be applied for when an agreement cannot be reached on the care of the child.
      Before an application is made it is important to try and agree arrangements with the other party.  Mediation can also assist parties in trying to reach an agreement, however if it is not possible to agree, then it will be necessary to issue an application for a Child Arrangements Order. In most cases, before an application is made to the court parties are required to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to establish whether the parties might be able to reach an agreement, rather than going to court.

      Is a Child Arrangements Order legally binding?
      A child arrangements order is legally binding on the parties until the child reaches 16 (or 18 in exceptional circumstances).
      If either parent breaches an order and does not comply with the terms, this amounts to contempt of court and there can be very serious consequences including fines, an order for compensation to be paid, community service and even imprisonment.

      Can a Child Arrangements Order be changed?
      Yes – an application can be made to the court to vary a Child Arrangements Order if the order is no longer fit for purpose or in the child’s best interests.
      It is important that an application is made to vary the terms of an Order rather than breaching the order. If you breach an order the other party can apply for the enforcement of the order, and you could be held to be in contempt of court. If this happens you could face serious consequences including fines, an order for compensation to be paid, community service and even imprisonment.

      How will no-fault divorce affect Child Arrangements Order?
      No-fault divorce will have no impact on any Child Arrangements Orders and will not affect how the court considers what is in the best interests of the child.
      However, the introduction of no-fault divorce removes the requirement to assign blame during the divorce process, which typically caused increased animosity and unnecessary conflict between parents, creating an unnecessary knock-on effect for children. Enabling couples to divorce without blame creates a more amicable foundation from which to move forward, meaning that separating parents can prioritise the future arrangements for their children.

      Get in touch
      If you would like more information on Child Arrangements Orders please do get in touch with our Client Care Team using the details below or make an online enquiry More

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      in Children

      Routes to single parenthood explained

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      Single parenthood
      For so many people, becoming a parent is not easy, whether it’s because they’re in a same-sex relationship, have had alternative priorities until now, or have experienced fertility challenges. But what if you are single, and either haven’t found a partner yet, or you have made the decision to become a solo parent? Happily there are alternative routes to parenting. In fact, it is becoming increasingly common for people who haven’t had children yet, and are single in their 30s and 40’s, to seek alternative routes to parenthood.
      So, what are your options if you want to become a parent while single? Liza Gatrell, Senior Solicitor at Stowe Family Law explains more.
      Adoption
      One route to parenthood for single parents is adoption. You can apply for adoption as a single man or woman. The eligibility criteria for adoption in the UK is quite broad. You can apply to adopt in the UK if:

      You are over 21 (there is no upper age limit)
      You have not have been convicted of any “specified offences”, which are offences against children and sexual offences
      You must have a fixed and permanent home in the UK and have lived in the UK for at least 1 year before you begin the application process.

      Your suitability also needs to be approved by an adoption agency. This means that a range of factors will be considered when establishing your eligibility for adoption, such as your age and health – agencies will expect you to have the health and vitality to see children through to independence, support network, religion, financial circumstances and ethnic background.
      Surrogacy
      Since the 3rd January 2019 a change in the law has meant that parental orders can be applied for by single parents. A parental order gives legal parenthood to the intended parents of a surrogate child and extinguishes the parental status of the surrogate. For a single intended parent to be able to apply for a parental order it is a requirement that they are the child’s biological parent, which inevitably will exclude some people.
      For single intended dads, if your surrogate is married then under current law her spouse or civil partner will automatically be recognised as the child’s second legal parent and you cannot be named on the initial birth certificate. If your surrogate is not married, then you can be the second legal parent and immediately be named on the birth certificate. Either way you will still need to make a parental order application to extinguish the surrogate’s parental status.
      For single intended mums, the surrogate will always be the child’s legal parent at birth, even if you are the biological mother and named on a foreign birth certificate. The biological father will also be the legal father if no Human Fetilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) clinic forms are signed.  If a HFEA clinic is used, and the surrogate is not married/ does not have a civil partner, then the intended mother can be nominated as the other parent by using specific forms.
      Donor Conception
      Whilst this isn’t an option for everyone, many single women turn to sperm donors each year to make parenthood a reality.
      In the UK sperm (and egg) donation services are provided by HFEA regulated fertility clinics, but there are also donor-matching websites, and some people do make their own arrangements.
      If you use a HFEA clinic then donors will be screened, donors can only be paid for their expenses, each donor can donate to no more than 10 families, donors and parents must be offered counselling and the donor can withdraw their consent up to the point they are transferred into someone else’s body.
      An important difference between using a HFEA clinic and a private arrangement, is the legal status of the donor. If a HFEA clinic is used, then the donor has no legal rights towards the child. Information is kept on record and anyone over the age of 16 can ask the HFEA whether they were conceived with donor eggs or sperm at a clinic in the UK after 1991 and request any non-identifying information held. Some donor-conceived people can also ask for identifying information about their donor once they are 18. This will apply to all conceptions from the 1st April 2006.
      If you choose to use a known donor then it is advisable to have a pre-conception agreement drawn up. This allows you to have very open and honest discussions and set expectations before conception takes place. Most disputes are born from mismatched expectations. Whilst such an agreement is not legally enforceable, they set out clearly what the intentions were and can carry weight in court.
      If you use a known sperm donor, and don’t go through a HFEA clinic, then the law will dictate who the legal parents will be. The birth mother is always the legal mother and must be registered on the birth certificate, the other legal parent is either their spouse/ civil partner or possibly the biological father. As a single mother using known donor sperm, you will need to decide whether to register the second legal parent on the birth certificate, which means that they would then share parental responsibility automatically.
      Co-parenting partnerships
      If the idea of being a single parent is not for you, then a co-parenting partnership could be the answer. Instead of becoming single parents by choice, this growing trend means that singles meet online with the sole objective of raising a child together platonically.
      There are a variety of websites, such as Modamily and Co-Parent Match, which assist those who are ready to become a parent but either don’t want to use sperm banks or are looking for someone to co-parent with.
      You may know a choose to enter into such an arrangement with a friend. If you are considering going down this route then I recommend that you do your homework, especially if your co-parent is someone you have not known for a long time. As many separated parents will tell you, co-parenting across two households takes a lot of communication and shared values so ensure that you are both on the same page.
      Get in touch
      For more information on alternative routes to parenting, please do get in touch with our Client Care Team using the details below or make an online enquiry More

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      in Children

      Making arrangements for children during Christmas

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      Child arrangements during Christmas
      After the past two years, time with loved ones has never felt so important, but for separated parents Christmas can be a time of tension, as plans need to be agreed about where and how children will spend the festive season. So how do you agree on arrangements for children during Christmas?
      We asked our Regional Director for Yorkshire, Rachel Roberts, to share her advice on child arrangements during Christmas.
      Child arrangements and Christmas
      As we approach Christmas, we see a flurry of clients getting in touch for help to try and resolve arrangements for the festive season. 
      Before I turn to my tips on how best to manage arrangements, there are a couple of key points from the Government and family law sector that are certainly at the forefront of my mind when advising clients.
      Last year, a leading family judge made it clear that parties should only be bringing disputes over children to court where absolutely necessary. The judge went on to criticise parents for asking the court to micro-manage children arrangements. The view from the court is clear – where possible you should be sorting these things out yourself.
      The Government have said that further lockdowns are unlikely and have been clear that restrictions do not prevent children from moving between separated parents, provided they are not self-isolating. 
      It seems unlikely that this will change, and CAFCASS (the government body that advises the court on children disputes) has stressed the need for children to maintain their usual routine.
      All that said, it is naive to think that difficulties will not arise, and the following guidance may help avoid unhappiness at Christmas.
      Tips for making child arrangements during Christmas 
      Preparation is key
      With the added uncertainty of another Christmas during the pandemic, trying to put in place arrangements for Christmas in advance is tricky.
      If you do not have plans in place, now is the time to start. Talk to your ex-partner and agree on arrangements that work for you all.
      Some clients I have worked with agreed that the children would spend Christmas Eve at one home and then return to the other for lunch on Christmas Day.
      Other clients decided that they would spend the whole festive period with one parent and the next year spend it with the other, alternating between the two.
      It is a personal choice based on what works for your family, but also the age of the children, location and how amicable you are.
      Be prepared to be flexible as plans may need to change. 
      Focus on the children 
      First and foremost, put the children at the heart of the plans you make. A different type of Christmas can still be a good Christmas. Talk about the positive: two Christmas Days, two sets of presents etc.
      Make sure you share your plans with the children. Depending on the age of the children, ask them what they would like? Older children need to feel they have a voice. 
      Once in place, sharing plans with the children means they know where they will be throughout the holiday, and the routine will make them feel safe and secure.
      Creating a visual plan can help as dates can be difficult for a child to understand. One client created a Christmas themed wall planner for their younger children. A tech-savvy teenager may prefer a joint Google calendar.
      Be fair to the other parent
      If this is your first year as a separated parent, this will all feel very raw and difficult. It is likely that you will both be dreading not spending Christmas entirely with your children. 
      Even though it can be difficult, try to think about the impact of any plans on your former partner. Ask yourself if you would be happy with the proposed arrangements next year? If the answer is no, then maybe they should be reconsidered. 
      Stick to the plan
      This year may require a certain level of flexibility, but where possible, it is important that, whatever arrangements you come to, you both stick to the plan. 
      Last-minute changes can cause feelings of disruption and uncertainty for children. And, whilst flexibility is an essential part of positive child arrangements, it is important to maintain consistency and provide stability.
      Get advice early, if needed
      Christmas is chaotic and organising a co-parenting schedule on top of everything else is never going to be easy, especially if communication between you and your ex-partner is difficult. 
      If you are struggling this year, take advice from a family lawyer who can try to assist in negotiating an agreement. 
      If you cannot reach an agreement, mediation can help as the presence of a 3rd party often eases tensions and result in finding common ground. 
      Mediation is still taking place via video conferencing, and many of our clients have reported that it is easier than being in the same room as their former partner.
      Court proceedings are possible but should be used as a last resort, and, due to the current strain on courts from the pandemic, it is highly unlikely that you have any prospect of a contested hearing before Christmas. 
      Hopefully, these tips, combined with some careful planning, compromise and putting the children first,  will help you and your ex-partner move forward towards a harmonious Christmas.
      Get in touch 
      If you would like any advice on child arrangements during Christmas, or other family law issues, please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here. 
      This article was first published in 2018 and has since been updated.  More